My latest life lesson--which spans across multiple incarnations--has taken me a while to absorb and to heal.
It will sound simple when I share it.
Emotions may move massively once a single blockage has been removed.
I have been trained, from early early incarnations, to give complete and total care to my twin, Ross. As his wife in our last incarnation, I not only looked out for his best interests, I cooked, I cleaned, I wove fabric, I sewed all his clothes, I cleaned his body (wives washed their family), I fixed his shoes, I entertained his business partners by serving them dinner in our home, and I went wherever and whenever he needed to go, I was always there by his side.
Ross doesn't need me.
Where he is, I always worry. I worry because I can't personally see to it that he is healthy, rested, fed, and happy.
But that is a lie.
He is fine, perfectly fine, exactly where he is.
I have no idea who is taking care of him. I highly doubt he is independent in the realm of Spirit because in all our lifetimes on earth together he was counting on me for a whole lot of tasks and helping. Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't?
Either way, I do not know.
And from our interactions, Ross always answers my questions when I ask if he is eating okay, well rested, and the like. He smiles. And he looks healthy.
But I am not there.
It breaks me to know I am not needed for him at this time.
And the lesson?
In all my lifetime here, the fact of the matter is, Ross has been taking care of me. From the sidelines, it is not obvious, but if I look for the patterns and the signs it is there.
And the hardest part?
Learning to welcome and accept and trust in his care for me. Learning to receive. Learning to trust in my heart that this is not an exchange of energy that I need to return the favor in some way shape or form. It is a gift. This is my time. Right here. Right now.
I find it difficult to love someone who is 'invisible' (in the Spirit world). Oh how much I would prefer to make a cup of tea for us, and to enjoy it together and talk! It is hard too when most people here on Earth appear in couples. It hurts not to have someone at my side in that way. But I understand. And thankfully for the Telepathy Tapes, we are learning that distance is nothing, and connection such as this is real.
That is enough for today.
Ross
Can you believe that today Carla wrote what is on her heart in ten minutes? It took three minutes to select and download the picture.
That is how pressing this lesson is on her at this time.
And it has taken a whole week for her to digest it enough to be able to describe it and share it with you.
In the grand scheme of things, I do not want to go down in the books as a taker, a domestic useless weight, that was a burden to Carla (although she does love caring for those she loves, and her caring is definitely one of her Love Languages--acts of Service). My counselors and guides up here emphasize that in my relationship with Carla I am going to have to accept personal responsibilities I had assumed had always been there but in fact were deftly and swiftly managed by her. So as I work on this, I struggle, and I reassure myself that in the long run everything is going to be Worth It!
This goes for all of you as well!
So, I encourage you to go out and learn your Hardest Lesson! And to make progress with it, no matter how slow. Because the time is just around the corner where these learning opportunities such as they are currently will be absent. There is another Great Thing that is going to be taking its place.
Shhhhhhh! (he smiles and winks and holds his finger up to his mouth). P.S. I am not Illuminati! (he is cracking up!) I just can't keep a secret, myself. Not for very long. <3
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
