Sometimes we need to take a break.
Sometimes what life throws our way is a little 'too much' for us to remain on the forefront of our Spiritual Work and our Calling.
That is okay.
A recent example I would like to share is how I got our family through the recent wedding of Anthony's father Jared. I was not invited. Nor would I have entertained thoughts to go. I did my best to ignore it up until the last minute. But my spirit is strong and I came up with a plan to help navigate the emotions that might come up (and they did). It was difficult because it was for both myself and our son that I had to make myself the most resilient I could and not to wallow in the emotions.
Ultimately you need friends and activities to help you through the most difficult of times--for me it was the day when the ceremony was actually happening. I was able to tell my friend why I needed to go to Disneyland on that particular day. She understood and there was no more talking about the reason.
She did share with me later, that her daughter's father has never met the child. He's a professional umpire. Always paid his child support. But her husband was a classmate from high school who reconnected at the twenty year high school reunion.
That sharing right there helped me feel at ease. And I shared how Jared left me in the middle of a pregnancy massage when I was four months pregnant. He was giving me the massage. The look on her face and her muttering 'that's really bad' was all the support I needed.
Many, many online have given incredible support. Including things like, 'you dodged that bullet'. It is all appreciated. But since we are human, we need support in the physical sometimes too. Someone right there with you, eating a moco loco breakfast burrito and talking about whatever and sharing other favorite things with you.
Remember how on Friday night, I stayed away from sweets, alcohol and TV?
Well, Saturday night I was home alone. We left Disneyland early. And I was okay to be alone.
Did I have alcohol? Yes. A little at the park and a little sake with dinner. Not too much.
Did I have sweets? Yes. I bought some from Disneyland, maybe a little too much for I had bought for Anthony too. But it helped. Sweets can help you ground and also remind you that you are of value and life is sweet.
I watched a wonderful Japanese romantic film 'Love Is Like Flower Petals' on Netflix. I was able to cry with the movie, and get some healthy release of emotions. I also was able to see a much more beautiful love story than my own with Jared had been. It's nice perspective to see what works out and what doesn't. In this case it was a beautiful love that grew despite a tragedy.
Ultimately, you need to isolate yourself for energetic conservation as you heal. I just don't have it in me to go 'all out' like I was on Social Media. You don't know it, but I have gotten death threats and stalkers and I just ignore them privately, while I am giving Ross' and my best to you on all of our various platforms. It doesn't happen often but it does, and it is all part of the territory. 'Haters make you famous' but they also are an unpleasant part of this life.
So, when I'm a little 'low', for example, 'post-call', I conserve my healing energy. An empty cup can't work.
I went to bed early on Saturday. And Friday too. On Sunday I spent a lot of time in the hammock. I did light laundry but no major chores. I withdrew from FB altogether. Spirit told me when I can come back. The mother in law posts photos and likes to brag, and also, she is my 'friend' and sees what I post. I needed for my own safety to be as far away from that woman's energy to protect my own.
If I had it bad, Anthony had it worse. He didn't want to upset me. But he needed to talk.
He came home looking completely terrible and shaken. He went straight to the hammock and said, 'I need sun'. I didn't ask or pry. My cup was now full enough to support him.
He wanted Indian buffet. I took him. He asked me what I wanted to know about the wedding. First was, 'did anyone say anything to hurt you?'. They often make inappropriate comments about his weight. His answer was no.
Then I said, 'I had a little bet. Was there a taco truck at the rehearsal dinner?' Nope. Pizza.
I said, 'I'm good then!'
We finished the meal. But by the time we came home, I could see he needed to vent. So I assured him, he needs emotional support, I'm his mom, I can give it, I'm just putting that 'hat' on now. So Go ahead.
And he explained everything. Including the horror of seeing a ring on his dad's finger. And how cheap the wedding was. How short the ceremony. How his grandfather did the ceremony as part of the Universal Life Church (the one dollar church lol. I'm a pastor in it too, Anne had us all join as her students so we could say we were 'laying on of hands' with Reiki). How the taco truck from Chula Vista at the reception gave him food poisoning . He didn't eat the chicken because he knew it would make him sick, but the beef ended up making him sick too. I know deep down he's okay with the wife and her family. It's just the adjustment after all those years of just being him and his dad. So I listened with my heart and gave the validation and support until he was able to process it.
He wanted to wash his car, so we washed and waxed both our cars together, listening to Pink Floyd the whole time.
By dinner and letting him watch 21 Bridges, he was back to himself.
You'd think things would let up. But they didn't. We had bad rain here yesterday. Our power went out. And our backup batteries had lost their charges! It got fixed. But it was a 'dry run' for hard times. The more I think I'm 'protected' against 'catastrophe' the more I realize the less I know, and the more I need to trust Creator and Intuition. My radish yesterday had a bug inside it. I need to figure ways to fertilize the plants better. My three backup batteries were totally dead because I didn't check them. We go through way more electricity than a generator could keep going--it would need gas or propane--even the bicycle ones would take too long to fill up.
Just for today, think about hardship and sudden emotional surprises and how you would get yourself through it. And what steps would you take, to be able to support someone else who is close to you?
You need to be prepared mentally a whole lot more than physically. Go through the steps of your plan, and don't be afraid to repeat this exercise from time to time and adjust it as appropriate.
This is our lesson for you today.
Myself, my energy is coming up, and I'm going to be back at the helm of our FB outreach soon.
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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
Ross supports this blog post. <3
