One word on a sticker on the lower right hand corner of the rear window of a car next to me--that's all it said, 'Gidget'...and I knew.
I knew in my heart and I felt that my Uncle Ben up in Heaven was looking out for me, wanting to make me smile, and reassuring me that I am loved. I could feel his gratitude for my being the first of the three daughters/nieces to go and visit him, and for bringing and remembering all of his favorites for him.
He was my favorite uncle.
We were very close.
My sister and I, when we were little, used to beg him to not leave our house, and would clamp down on each leg, as tightly as we could, to keep him from going! We would wrap both our arms and legs around him, sitting Indian-style (cross legged) and to walk he would have to lift us with each step.
That's how much we loved him. We wouldn't let go until mom yelled at us.
We would be so very excited the next time he would visit. He'd bring donuts, teach us little gambling games like how to lag pennies, talk about amazing things, make stupid bets and would pay us if we won!
I haven't shared until now, but that first night when I learned of his passing, he came to me.
He showed me an image of him at seventeen, holding me on his lap for the first time, and I was cooing and laughing and smiling at him. He wanted to go back to the beginning, and for me to remember that.
The Vietnam war took him away from us when he was eighteen. Gone was his favorite fan when he would come home from school every day--infant me. The war changed him. He was a gunner in the helicopters and received an air medal. I didn't understand what it meant. Anthony, who enjoys his video games, explained to me gently that it meant he must have killed a lot of people, hundreds in a day, and he was super lucky he didn't have his helicopter go down.
I had always had a hunch it was something like that because he wouldn't talk about it. He had a little book with maybe five black and white pictures in it. And a medal. But I explained to Anthony, no, his chopper when down not once but twice!
Anthony again explained that since he was in the back he had the best chances to live, but the pilots always died when the helicopter went down. Then he explained how the Vietnamese (Viet Cong) would come to inspect the smoke and the the helicopter, so Uncle Ben had to find ways to get cover and hide until he could get back to safety. If he was in enemy territory it would be especially risky, but even in the middle in the neutral zone it would be bad. He'd need to be rescued by his team.
My stomach got a little sick when I heard that.
I remember Uncle Ben telling me that it was so wet and humid there, that what kept him going was dreaming about buying a place in the desert that was dry and going to it.
He would never experience that dampness again.
Anthony and I wonder how his soul chose Peggy, who is Cambodian. Undoubtedly it was due to the influence of the war, and possibly karma? that he would allow himself to be in her care at the end.
Either way, he is safe from his past, and he lets me know he's watching. I've heard/sensed him say, 'Anthony is BIG' because he was just a little kid when we stopped contact with Uncle Ben. Anthony is getting a beard now, and he's very excited and proud of it.
Be loving to all, even those who have passed.
Be thankful you never had to walk a mile in their shoes.
Only LOVE lasts forever.
That is enough for today.
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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
