This inner work is really taking off. And paying off!
You know how a part of me is always an independent observer of my lessons and what is happening?
Here's a few examples of how the Universe is sending me stress to see how I can demonstrate change and go 'whoa!' at the results.
I'm ready to wake a patient up.
My OR phone rings. I ignore it. My focus is on the patient first, always.
The phone rings across the room at the nurses' desk. We ignore it.
The phone rings again at my workstation. I am annoyed and ignore it.
Instantly they call across the room. This is someone in recovery room or a charge nurse--they are the only ones who know both the numbers. And I've said many times to everyone that if I'm doing something I need to pay one hundred percent attention to my patient, I will call back later. I won't ever pick up the phone.
Well, in the middle of these dueling phone calls, something snapped deep inside. Picking up the handset of my phone, I exclaimed, 'If THEY can be this evil, then I can be that EVIL too!' and I left the handset on the counter of my anesthesia cart with a slam. There's no way anyone can call back on that line.
My observer part of me was going, 'wow, that was really saucy--but effective!'
The patient woke up safely and fine.
On Sunday while my son was driving some object hit the windshield, shattering it on the driver's side and cracks going all over the windshield up and down and side to side.
Long story short, first appointment to replace it was four days away.
Long story even shorter, insurance said it's okay to drive like that and wouldn't pay for a rental car.
I drove to work and home on Monday. It was horrible, just like Sunday afternoon--me having to tilt my head and guess what I was seeing.
Monday afternoon, I realized this is unnecessary risk to drive like that. So I called our local rental car place. Now I can be safe until the windshield is completely repaired.
Yes it's expensive. About one hundred dollars a day since I didn't reserve in advance.
But to be in a wreck or to stress while driving? That's worse.
Again this is something my independent observer looks at with amazement--I'm valuing myself and acting in my own best-interest.
That too is something good.
There were two other examples clinically yesterday that I can't share. They were big. And also, this morning, I made sure my boss corrected his mistake in assigning me a full day post call (and being last at the surgery center). As it turned out, I got relief from an emergency case in main OR, showed up for my first case at the surgery center, and learned the patient was drinking a water bottle while coming into the pre-op area.
Fluids require two hours if they are clear fluids.
Surgeon couldn't wait.
Cancel and reschedule!
Then I was able to get coverage for my other two cases I was on the hook for, so I could rest at home.
There is a whole new layer of 'new' on the inside. Yes it's been challenging and stressful. But there's no way really to see the new growth without the challenges...so i'm glad for it.
Now I am going to rest. I had four hours of sleep.
It's time to recover!
clap! clap!
aloha and mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
