Dude, I am WORKING!
On very important soul work.
Probably the most important, for I'm preparing within for Ross. Right now, I've worked myself through two days of crying, and I'm being assisted by Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael.
You could say, in a way, I've reached spiritual-emotional rock bottom.
Well, Carla, what IS there for you at Emotional Rock Bottom?
Grief.
There is Grief.
There is the last, deepest layer of grief over someone I once knew when I was young, someone with a charming personality and we definitely click, someone I look up to as my hero, someone who underestimates my intelligence and doesn't really listen but who I adore completely, who stubbornly goes on his own way to his destiny, and gets into mortal danger...there is nothing I can do to help or prevent it or even console this man that I so deeply LOVE. I have to wait for him to do whatever he has to do, and pick up where we left off, if he wants to return to me, if at all. Even if it's not exactly 'conventional'.
At the same time, I have to let go of all hope of ever 'getting it right'.
Then, there is also ANXIETY.
Anxiety over an arranged marriage to someone who isn't in the physical, who doesn't exactly have 'good days' and 'bad days'...and it's not going to be some small private twenty-five people over ceremony at that.
Archangel Michael reassured me that one day I WILL 'get it right'. And all of this grief and heartache is going to be long time in my past, way, way, way behind me.
I have to trust in Creator, that all is working together for the highest possible good, no matter how it may appear or feel at this time.
That this crying and hitting rock bottom is me finally being permitted to feel things I've been repressing deep within my soul for a long, long, very long time. So it's freeing. Even though it's very sad.
Earlier today Ross had me reflect upon all the things he's done in this life to show he loves me. There's Anthony, Ross asked me if I wanted a child, one morning when I was away on conference in Hawaii, and I said 'yes!'. So he broke the rules and let me have that one dream come true.
He's guided me and helped me survive and find a decent place to live that wasn't falling apart...he protects me.
And Archangel Raphael gave me a cup of something to drink, and it numbed all the soul pain I had been experiencing. So I could function with my day.
Do not be afraid to take the time to let all of these feelings up and OUT.
You may find yourself in situations which are uncannily similar to ones in the past that didn't work out so well, and you may find you are getting your hopes up for a chance to 'get it right'--finally!
Remember we all belong to Divine Creator. Each and every one of us. Even Ross, as well as me.
We need to find to courage to let go of our loved ones, and place them in Creator's hand. Or Ross' hand. Even our pets.
Then we need to remind ourselves that every interaction we get with those we love, it truly, truly, truly, a gift to be cherished. There is no entitlement to such things. Everything is a brand new gift, every day. The bed head in your children. The meal shared at table. The coming home to a sense of 'normalcy'.
Even the lessons and the pain which often accompanies them is a gift, for it makes us better people in the afterlife as well as while we are still incarnate.
Here's a song In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel which catches the emotions...and here is the Schumann Resonance Frequency which is dutifully ramping up.
Emotions are gifts.
Be brave enough to experience them.
And heal.
clap! clap!
Aloha and mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twin Souls
