It's been a really hard time.
It's gotten me to a point where I think you should know about it, spiritually.
I'm working more and more with my teams, to heal ME. The old wounds that made me do unconscious things, things that I thought were 'going to be that way forever'. Healing things that made me highly emotional, and shaken to my core.
It's not the 'rock bottom' kind of healing. That one, for people with addictions, is a little different.
Things have been coming up, and I've handled them as best as I can. But when I get stressed, really, absolutely stressed out, I now ask for help from my teams.
Not 'spare me from this' kind of help. More like, 'what should I do?'. And when I get little tiny nudges, I'm still full of doubt, and stress. But then, I ask, 'why am I having so much trouble in this situation?' and 'how do I set a balance between service to self and service to others?'...
You see, I lean heavily on the 'service to others' so much, that even when there are clear indicators of needing to stand up for myself, I can't. It's almost impossible.
Without my teams, it would be.
After my latest test, one I knew was right where the healing needed to take place, because I felt like I wanted to die instead of having to make this decision...my beautiful Aunt Edna came to visit from The Other Side. She explained to me why decisions like this are so difficult. She was her cheerful self, so soothing, and I understood exactly what she was teaching me.
Just like with my surgery, I had to take responsibility for a decision, to take a risk, and to face a confrontation.
It wasn't pretty, but I did it.
You see, sometimes I feel guilty to go for what I truly wanted in my heart, if it inconveniences others. But in this day and age, everyone thinks nothing of inconveniencing and taking advantage of others. So sometimes, you need a voice and you need to use it to set a strong boundary!
While I was taking action on my decision, I told Ross, 'I NEED YOU RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME!' and even though I was shaking, I knew I had made my decision on my own and was carrying it out.
THIS is the kind of teamwork that is going to get us to the future where we need to go. This kind of willingness to face our challenges. This kind of give and take with our teams.
Ross asked me the other day what was one of the hardest things about life with him back in the day?
I told him, from my heart, that every time he was thinking of moving, it was really hard on me. I'd pick up everything and go. Sometimes to places where I had to learn an entirely new language. And right when I'd get happy and content, he'd get that look again, that wanderlust, that need to GO. And goodbyes and leaving everything again. It happened all the time.
You see, once I was able to verbalize this to him, he was able to tell me that in this life, it is different. Back then, he was answering his call. He had to go. I was there to support him. But in this life now, with him in Spirit supporting me in so many ways, he told me the most beautiful words I've ever heard him say: to stay! To stay for as long as I like. Even if it is forever. Because in this life, it's time to make it up to me.
Last night I went to sleep with a laundry list for all of my teams, on the things I needed help/answers/guidance for. I felt confident asking them not for 'things' but to help show me the way so I could proceed with confidence.
I was really shaken by the appearance of that weird man in my consciousness who said he was going to win. It bothered me. And with my self education, and information I take in, I'm at a point now where I know not who exactly it is, but I know of people who know who exactly it is. And now, two of those people are starting to talk to each other. I know one is heavily um, their information isn't easy to get. And the other? I'm not sure exactly how this person went from a 'nobody' to people really knowing exactly who they are and what their role was in the End Times and how they prepared for it but then decided not to do it.
I know that this person was hand-picked. Their trainer didn't want to train them. Is there a 'twist'? I don't know. It's like the other lesson from today, I have to decide, to take responsibility for my decision, and to trust in Divine Creator when it comes to who to trust. I know to look for fruit of the Spirit. I know to see if they can say Jesus was born, died for our sins, and was raised from the dead. Demons can't say that.
So one of my questions to Ross last night, was about that person, the one who wasn't officially 'ushered in' but has assumed their role--in Europe. What does it mean? Should I worry about it?
I was told that this one is no comparison to the real one. And deep in my heart and in my soul, that made a lot of sense, and gave me consolation. The real one said they could tear down the temple and rebuild it in three days. And did! This is always a difficult time of year, this week from tomorrow to the week after. But this year, is the first time, I have hope. I understand the reason for the hope. And I strengthen my connection to Source and All That Is.
Do not be afraid to take your lessons a little deeper, and to function on your deepest level. It kind of sucks because it's challenging, and you really feel it. But there is a lightness after the lessons and challenges that is so worthwhile! You know in your bones that all that crap you were carrying around--the unlearned lessons--really weighs you down. And even though you've been through OH SO MANY lessons that you really are starting to get sick of them, keep going. While you are incarnate you have the gift to make progress like this.
Go for it!
Everything happens for the best!
Ross
I am here to explain that which is perhaps a little 'mysterious' in the above part.
Carla had a business decision to make. She had to stand up for herself. She said no to a business offer that would cost her an extra fifteen thousand dollars today.
With one email, she was able to stop an agreement that was not in her best interest. Or her son's.
Now she is free to pursue other opportunity. And, everything is within the law. Everything is within her right. Everything is on the up and up.
And if nothing better comes along, well, then, Carla takes full responsibility for it. It's not the end of the world.
And THAT is what anxiety healing sounds like!
THAT is what getting out of the head and out of anguish and worry, looks like!
People want to bend a certain reality, they assume that they can do this and that and you will go along...Carla understands that someone was going to have to lose out on this business venture. That is why it was so difficult for her, because Carla is rich in empathy and compassion.
Sometimes empathy and compassion are not enough reason to agree to something that doesn't make sense in the first place.
I hope this clears this up for you.
Everything happens for the best.
And I have it on highest authority, that this is going to be one of the best incarnations Carla's soul has ever had!
Everyone has something to look forward to.
Even myself.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins
