Today is the day! I've assembled a high table/desk long time ago, right before Christmas. It's been upside down in the hallway ever since. But, yesterday I moved a little, a few boxes, in preparation, and the energy all of a sudden shifted. It gave me hope. And sure enough, today, I cleared more room in the office, Anthony helped me to move it and two file cabinets and the chair, and now, my office is a whole lot closer to being moved in. This gives me great joy and hope.
The desk is for making bracelets, and also, if I ever do more videos. I can sit there and have a green screen behind me.
I have a ton of papers to sort through and file, since the move, I had put them on a chair, but the papers fell off, and it's been a total disaster.
Remember, hang in there. Times will come and you will have the opportunity to move forward. No matter what is holding you back.
So what's up?
I've been talking with my friends. One is still in the house and won't budge for nineteen days. Her teaching job in Beijing asked her to come to work, and she said no thank you I have a cough. Her son sent her some masks from Japan. She's been able to buy food--I've seen photos of cherries and strawberries she's shared.
She's holding up okay. But she is very sad over all the innocent people who have died from the virus. She hasn't had anyone she knows yet pass. My babysitter was from Liberia, and when Ebola hit she said that Facebook was very depressing because so many she knew, and whom her friends knew, had passed from it. So this is a good sign. One of the girlfriends of hers in China told her husband to quit his job because they still want him to go to work. She doesn't want her husband to be at risk.
In China, now the government can confiscate personal property. This is exactly what has happened to China both during wars with Japan and with the cultural revolutions. China needs resources to fight the virus. So if they want your stadium, or factory, or home, or food, or jewelry, they will come in and take it.
She knows all of this. Also, I said that I'd heard to pass certain road blocks, the people there now are taking bribes like nice bottles of wine.
I've seen video footage of a woman jumping off a bridge when she wasn't allowed to cross. She died.
I've seen a corpse swinging from a tree, he hung himself. An old man had been detained for not wearing a mask. He had to write one hundred times a day for five days, 'I will wear a mask'.
I've seen a twelve year old girl knife two people, one was lying in a pool of blood, but fortunately, no one died and medical help was given.
Here is an excellent article which is a few days old: https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/east-asia/reporters-notebook-life-and-death-in-a-wuhan-coronavirus-icu. There are only enough protective apparel for one twelve hour shift per worker. So they do not eat or drink, or use the bathroom the entire twelve hours in the hospital. Otherwise the gear wouldn't protect. Can you imagine being pregnant or having to change your tampon for your period during your shift?
One of my concerns are for the women in quarantine who are expecting a child. I don't know if they will be able to go to the hospital. It's so very sad, all of it.
But my friend is wise. She says, 'In the face of life and death, the good and evil of human beings are exposed.'
I am learning so much with this illness. Yesterday I went to work. I had a late start, a short day, but once I got home I was dehydrated and exhausted. Today, this morning, after dropping Anthony off at school, I just lay on the couch and rested. I started a fire. I needed the time. I needed it for inner healing, and for rest.
Tomorrow I gave away the most lucrative shift in the O.R. , I traded it, so as not to have to stay late and over exert myself. Friday I should be able to rest too.
It's like every time I get ahead of this bug, it comes back. I don't know what it is, but it's been very hard on Anthony and me. He looked great yesterday, today he was having trouble breathing all day, and the sore throat is back again, really strong.
For me, I had a neck ache like I slept wrong, and a super bad headache as the first symptoms. Then I was like cold--I couldn't get warm enough. After that, I was super, duper sleepy. I couldn't get enough rest. And I couldn't wake up in the morning. I had a dry cough. No fever, just hard time feeling the right temperature. It started to plateau out, not getting better, not getting worse. We started antibiotics. I felt really good for one day, almost normal. Now I am dragging again.
I've done everything, the codes, Reiki, remedies of all sorts.
So today, as I rested, I really had a heart to heart with my teams. One of the questions they asked me was when was the last time you had fun?
It was seeing the Butchart gardens, in December. I've laughed at work, and had fun playing board games with Anthony. But not the vast, open, expansive FUN I'm used to. I explained how my life is so rapidly changing, there's no routine, and now, nothing to look forward to, because I'm so tired of the unpredictability of it all. I would like to have time for the gym, time to swim, time to make appointments, etc, etc. When Anthony and I went to the beach at sunset a few weeks ago that was very nice, and I enjoyed it, but it was only an hour, much too short. And I saw how although the move was necessary for both myself and Anthony, it took a lot out of me. Meditation is wonderful, and when you have the freedom to deeply meditate and TALK with your guides, it's time well spent.
I was surprise that Ashtar showed up. He asked me how I am holding up? He was concerned. I told him I'm used to him screwing me over energetically, not because he wants to personally, but because of the rules and the restrictions for the Ascension of the people as a whole. I wasn't even sure why he was asking because whatever I said, it didn't matter because with Ashtar everyone else comes first. I'm used to it and don't even think of any compromise or options. (If you look at the Schumann, it's very very quiet, with no white). I sensed we are close to the end of a successful project, he's tying up the loose ends, and I happened to be one of them, but he's not talking and I'm probably reading a whole lot more into the discussion than perhaps is appropriate. I'm so tired and wore out from the entire project, from trying to help people wake up, most of whom don't really want to. I'm tired from everything that goes with the job, but I'm still at my post. It's hard on me with Ross 'up' and me 'here', because I like to have more interaction, more sense of being close, than we do in our day to day. I signed up for it. And I'm walking the walk, doing my best not to even think of anything different or complain because there's really no point to it. The Project comes first, just like the patient always comes first. End of story.
My friend in Beijing reminds us to remain calm. This is very important. Attitude is everything in times like this. Take the time to center yourself, take a deep breath, and be your best self in all situations.
When you mess up, apologize.
You know I saw some shyster selling a certificate program for ho'opono'pono. I couldn't believe it. This is the Hawaiian practice of 'making things right', and in the past it was part of the legal system. It's four simple steps. Repeat after me:
- I'm sorry
- Please forgive me
- Thank you
- I love you
Who could ever charge money to teach someone that? Big sigh...
That's it. Time to start working on dinner, and if all goes well, Carla is going to make a bergamot marmalade too.
Ross is good, he waves hello. He's calm. He's ready for anything. And handsome too (he didn't want me to write it, but he IS! Totally handsome and kind too.)
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple who are teaching the world how to heal
