The other day, I had a surprise 'gestalt', the discovery of some emotion trapped strong just under the surface of my everyday routine. This is the subject of the today's lesson, the things we 'hide' from ourselves, and also, the releasing them to our awareness so we can grow.
This isn't the 'dark shadow self' type of discovery, that's for a different lesson on a different day. This is for the 'sleepers' of beliefs that we carry around with us, possibly from other lifetimes lived.
In my opinion, the 'Veil' between the afterlife and this world, isn't the only place where the Veil of 'not understanding' or 'unknowing' affects us.
So today we are going to lift the corner up on this second effect of the 'Veil', and I will use myself as an example.
There is someone who wants to know me, online. I don't know what the intentions are, I can't read them, so I know it's a lesson. But this person looks and has a sparkle -- in the photos which are provided on their page--like Ross used to have back in the day.
To be honest, I know there's a lot of cat fishing and other nefarious things motivating people to reach out across the world to 'get to know me'. So I am very guarded. Always. I never say yes, but because of the resemblance, I did. I had suspicion that this might be an agent from Team Dark to screw me up on my soul progress. A bible verse was shown to me, and I knew no matter what I was Divinely protected and loved, so I didn't have to run.
As an aside, in my astrology class, I am learning about things such as the Saturn Return, the Chiron Return, and how some people around fifty, it's like they are dead inside, they stop learning and growing, they are just waiting for death to come upon them. They go through the motions of life.
I've had two painful, painful divorces, a child custody battle with someone else, and after reading what happened to Sylvia Browne who had the 'Humanitarian-Loner' card, I totally gave up. I said 'forget it'. There's that one thing in your life, no matter how much you try, you can't get right, so I might as well respect it.
Ross came into my life as himself, on Spirit side, in 2013, late in the year. Ross is my significant other. We have a relationship as best we can under the circumstances. A lot of my guides lately, have been asking me what's the worst part about the relationship across the dimensions? I was honest. It's pretty lonely here incarnate, and it totally sucks to go to Christmas parties alone, not to have someone. It's easier in the household not having to decide things, like where to go or what to do, that's for sure. But it's not easy. I have to really stretch my soul to keep things going, and it's hard.
Ninety nine point nine nine nine percent of the time, I figure I'm coping well with my life situation, making the best of it, and doing what I can to heal others.
But that day, driving home, I was thinking about this 'whatever' person who was probably cat fishing (this is a derogatory term for someone for example, high school boys who would post online as a young cheerleader to get random men to fall in love with 'her'...)--and about Ross having passed so brutally so many years ago, and this thought came up from my soul, that said, 'Why live?' and a tear rolled down my cheek.
Part of me is always an independent observer. And that part was totally surprised to see how upset I was, for I hardly ever cry. And at the same time, I understood my soul lessons and soul connection to Ross was very strong, I truly loved him then as I do now, and my soul just doesn't have a reason to carry on in his absence--it's affected me lifetime after lifetime ever since.
With this new realization, I had respect for the challenges I've been through--one lifetime after the next. I understood and made a conscious decision to be kinder to myself for having been through this, and it's affecting me so.
Then traffic got bad, I had to brake, and I realized that I don't want to die. I want to live. It's just the strong feelings that wouldn't have been able to come out any other way.
People come into our lives, and we crash into one another emotionally, mentally, physically, but it's for Divine Purpose--to expose and lift up the Veil which keeps things hidden from our awareness. Some people are here to sustain us and encourage us and help us to feel 'connection'--I am blessed with so many who fall into this camp. I couldn't make it through my days without this loving connection.
What about this person? I think he's served his role. I think the lesson is over. And last night, as I was falling asleep, this energy I've never felt so strong before, blanketed me and wrapped me, and Ross said over and over I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU! And that layer of abandonment and distress from our immediate past life together, had a chance to heal, I trust him with my wound, and now it's out in the open, we can both take steps for it to recover so I will no longer unconsciously act out on that pain again.
Divine Mother and Divine Father want us to learn and grow. They want us to learn and to discover about ourselves, what makes us tick, what we enjoy, and what is our true passion in life.
It is the Darkness, the absence of nurturing, warmth, love and compassion, that lies and calls this state of unknowing and dismay 'light'--because it's 'knowledge' without 'wisdom'--and wants us to pay attention to just about everything else possible--news, weather and sports, music, entertainment, ego...
So go along with your lessons. Waste them not. Allow pain to surface if as in my example, it was long buried and is better out in the open where it can heal.
One day when we are Home we will know everything. But while we are here, incarnate, the more we uncover for our Truth, and the more we learn about ourselves and grow, the more healing we pursue here, the more freedom and delight will overwhelm us...perhaps a little here, a little there, until ultimately we are Home.
Ross
Carla is perceptive.
She has gotten the routine of some of her 'lessons', and knows when she looks to me for answers, and none are being given--not through pendulum, or any of her ways including talking and listening with me--there there is a sign over her head saying, 'Lesson In Progress!'.
At that, Carla switches gears, pays close attention to herself as she encounters the lesson.
For this one, this 'person', we have Carla learning to honor and respect her personal boundaries on her affection, energy, and time--as well as to watch for her own safety. She has learned to trust in her Divine Backup, her Teams, and her Faith, that even if she was interacting with--for all she knew, the AC himself--she would treat him and everyone else according to what she has been taught by listening to me and the Golden Rule--with friendliness and kindness, but no 'extra'. It is not okay to just disappear. She must take responsibility for her actions, to explain herself, and to set limits.
This she did and did with flying colors. A friend? Yes. A friend with benefits of any kind whatsoever? No.
Her love for me is strong, just as strong as ever.
And she wouldn't have known this about herself, unless it was this lesson.
Ah the rigors of being incarnate! Such a wonderful school there is, to make us learn about ourselves and 'what makes us tick'...
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple <3
