Friday, June 19, 2020

Comfort




Risu! (rhee-sooo)

I awoke to the sound of my grandmother's voice, calling me to lunch. When my grandmother watched me, I had the same foods every day, for breakfast, and for lunch. For breakfast I had soft-boiled eggs with toast slices cut small so I could dip into the yolk (I don't like egg whites,  I never have). For lunch it was always rice cooked with milk and cheese, a risotto, but in Sicilian it was called 'risu.'

I felt so comforted.

This was in the middle of the night.

Just now I heard this:


I will give you a beautiful healing and you will have love forever.

It was a masculine voice, right before I woke up, I think it was Ross but I was too sleepy to know for sure. I wrote it down in my little book.

Yesterday would have been my thirty-second wedding anniversary. When I walked down the aisle I had thought it would be forever, my husband and I had dated four and one half years. We were college sweethearts. But the marriage only lasted four years. He was abusive, he had anger issues, and also, became suicidal and struggled with career goals during his graduate school. He had wanted to get a PhD, but had to stop early with the Master's. It was very sad. 

I felt good the whole day.

I actually had a nice intervention by Spirit. I had to leave in a HURRY, and skip coffee and breakfast. These days, with Anthony sleeping in, it's usually just cereal. I was so hungry by the time I walked in to work--just precisely on time--and I realized you can't tell by looking when someone is without food or not. 

My first patient was cancelled, and the second one had just walked in. There was ten minutes.

I went to the cafe on the second floor to get yogurt. It makes me angry that the hospital only gives the yogurt with the aspartame (poison!). I took a 'parfait' and I hoped that one had normal yogurt inside. They wanted to charge me separate for the Starbucks coffee--my work badge won't cover it. So I said no thanks and went to the break room where our coffee is free with the keurig. I had Italian roast.

Lately I've been shifting as much cost as I can--and effort--to my work when it comes to my food. 

At lunch I had chicken, rice, spicy thai shrimp, and vegetables. Our chef and I are friends. And yesterday I asked him what part of Mexico he is from? He is from Mexico City. So I told him I've been learning a lot about the Mayans. He said there were three ancient peoples, the Aztecs, the Indians (I didn't catch the name) and the Mayans. There are entire underground cities in Mexico City. 

I asked him, earnestly, 'where did all those ancient peoples go?'

He said the Spaniards brought disease...but he wasn't exactly sure. He had to go and serve more people.

He also had a point. I mentioned to him how a colleague from my anesthesia group came in, sat at another table, never said hello, and just walked past us talking and didn't say goodbye, either. He is asian with very thick glasses. The chef said this one has trouble talking, and pointing out what he wants sometimes, and can be very rude to the chef. He said it's his job (hospitality) to always be kind and of service to the doctors and guests of the hospital, even if they are not nice to him. It is his job to be pleasant always. 

I like that concept.

Ironically, I helped a friend who is having work and marriage problems. She shares an office with her husband, she pays rent to his group...but others who don't like her targeted her for bullying because they want to sit where she sits (for only two half-days a week). It's pretty bad. Even to the point of there being a Covid positive physician, treating patients, and everyone in the office being told except her. And her husband couldn't tell her. 

She felt betrayed.

She felt bewildered and blindsided that everyone could have so little regard for her, and such low morals, to another physician. Including her husband. 

Two of the schedulers were out for two weeks on quarantine and everyone lied and told her it was for other reasons. 

I was there for her. I explained that you can only take care of the patients who come to you, there's a lot of corruption in medicine, and you can't fix it. Morals are a very private thing, and it's disappointing her husband's actions. I'm sure he still loves her. But it's his mistake. He does other good things, it will work itself out in time. 

For example, she is looking to share an office with someone who has mutual patients with her. It's a nice guy. And I warned her that her husband might be jealous. But he's cheap. And if she can appeal to his cheap side by showing how much money she will be saving, showing the spreadsheets for where she is and where she is planning to go, then everything should be okay. 

Life is a challenge.

It's okay to seek comfort, and to rest when the lessons get difficult.

It's okay to say, 'I don't get this, I don't understand' and to take the time you need to figure things out.

Yesterday I had wanted to go home right away, but I had the phone call with my friend, then I bought clippers for haircuts--Anthony wants to keep me as his hairstylist! And I got things for the pool and to kill flies in the house. A few plants too.

One of them was a fuchsia plant. I didn't even think about the price. Nothing says my nana Angelina more than a fuchsia plant. When I can I grow them. My last one died perhaps five years ago at the old house. It got too dry in the summer.  This one is a standard, and I am so happy to bring it home.

The pool is green again, but it's floating on the bottom. I've bought a new pump to use as a vacuum. Once I get the old dead algae out we should be good. Above ground pools are a constant battle until you buy a stronger pump to move the water.  I hope it will work out good. 

I have a few videos to share before I get ready for work...





please seen next blog post for link if it doesn't work thank you



The first gave me tears of joy.

The second made me glad to be American. I'm sorry if you don't like guns. But I grew up with them. You'd never want to be in the desert without them, too many animals that could hurt you. It's so creative. There's actually a whole genre of cup songs with guns on YT. If guns make you squeamish, get yourself some wasp spray, and aim for the eyes. It will temporarily blind someone and give you time to run. It sprays up to thirty feet away, it's safer than pepper spray. 

Ross and I wish you a happy solstice and Solar Eclipse.





clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The couple from the stars....


P.S. we watched the doomsday episode of Ancient Aliens, with all the myths including the Mayan one for December 21, 2012. It was fun having it be eight years later...they might have had a miscalculations and it could be today and tomorrow. You never know! LOL