On the way home, for instance, I reflect. Today this is what I discovered about myself:
There is an usual pattern in my life. I have two. The first is the one I am going to share. The second I will disclose later, so you might have a laugh with me.
"I could NEVER _________!" (fill in the blank).
For the most important things in my life, I DID that which for long time, from my heart, I thought I could not do.
I could NEVER move to another house! My sister and I were attached to our first home in North Long Beach, CA. But at fourteen, we did.
Why? Once my friend Audrey's mom had a baby when she was twelve. The poor thing had no life. Her mom made her stay at home and take care of the baby all the time. "That's awful! I thought. I could NEVER have my mom have a baby like that!" Guess what? When I was fourteen, mom did. And because of that little sister, our house was too small. So...we moved! LOL in retrospect it was the best thing for me. In many ways.
I could NEVER leave my high-school sweetheart. We went to college together. But I did. At his insistence, less than three months after college began.
I could NEVER leave my daddy and get married. But I did. Twice, in fact, he walked me down the aisle. Second time, though, I paid for the wedding. LOL
I could NEVER divorce my second husband. But I did. It was intolerable. I had gone through counseling and made the decision to 'stay with the devil I know'. He saw otherwise.
I could NEVER be a surgeon. I am scared of blood. I thought that first incision would make me faint. Nope! Categorical General Surgery Resident for two years, before I switched to Anesthesia. I make my living actually IN the O.R.
A friend of mine had her biological clock ticking. She considered asking a gay friend to donate sperm so she could experience motherhood. She wanted the man to be a part of the child's life. Due to her spotty employment (many moves to major cities in less than ten years with three different career choices) and low income, as well as her and her family history of depression, I spoke up on behalf of the child and thought it was not fair to either one of them to be a single mother. "Damn! I thought, I could NEVER do that!" Here I am, alone and mother of a boy that is six.
I could NEVER go into private practice. I could NEVER leave my heart surgeon in academics. I could NEVER do hearts in private practice. And I could NEVER do OB, because the women in labor drive me crazy.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. and Wrong again. LOL!!!
I am happier than I have ever been.
What you think of, IS. It gets the power to come to be. I have since learned to pluck out unwanted thoughts as they occur, much as you would pull out little shoots of weeds before they took over the garden. I train my mind to think happy thoughts.
I could NEVER send my kid to a NO SUGAR preschool. Wrong again! I love it. I saw how calm the children were in class, much unlike his other school. So I changed.
Get the point?
The second one? Anyone who is nice to me, really kind from the heart and does something that helps me in a big way? Gets a kid. Becomes pregnant. Gets a foster kid. Adopts. Has a grandkid come to live with them. I am the baby fairy. LOL. Guess I found the right line of work after all. ; )
Don't work too hard and have a good day,
Everything as it is is how it is meant to be, in perfect BALANCE.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
