My Beloved--Your Hardest Lesson

Alas, My Beloved,

We were like this once, were we not? I knew you in that incarnation as a child. I never considered it possible to experience life without you.

We grew up with the contentment and strength of Twin Flames who love and support each other with our Vibration, our Laughter, our Light.

And yet, when I withdrew my Love away from you, asking for death to release me from my misery of having lost a son, just as simply and heartfelt as my doing your laundry and preparing our meals...you discovered the truth first hand...

I taught you this.  http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/2014/04/12/heavenletter-4887-the-true-state-of-love-april-12-2014/

That is your lesson.

And my withdrawal of my own kindness and Light from your existence led to the imminent self-destruction of your own. As if taking away the only remnant of normalcy I had once known, by taking yourself to The Other Side, would wipe away the sins that you had visited upon me and caused such misery to my sweet lifelong devotion unto you since time began?

I never found the release I sought--lifetime after lifetime, I refused any and all contact with you...my beloved Twin.

Why?

Because I was denied the opportunity to express my Love in the only way that I knew possible--in bearing you a child.

(it was stolen at birth with your consent, keeping it hidden from me, due to political advice and a belief that it was 'man's work'.)

Always remember the need to LOVE and to give Love often outweighs the 'loss' of love, or the 'lack' of it. It is not the disappearance of Love, but the rejection of the Love one offers, the unwillingness to move forward, and the virtual absence of the presence of God (it is like diabetes--the metabolism is 'starving in a sea of sugar' if you don't mind a medical analogy of the way we are surrounded by Love energy and yet starving).

There is no right, beloved.

There is no wrong, when it comes to the ways of the heart.

And depending on the level of soul development, some 'hits' to the energy system are most difficult to recover, like myself.

You Thrive on the Attachment to me.

I know it.

Everyone else knows this, my Beloved.

It is not weakness to Love Your Twin Soul.

Au contraire, my beloved, it is of Nature, and it is your Strength.

To all those who exist in a Love Relationship, do know that sometimes 'nothing seems to work out' for you, because there is something more lasting and better, down the road for you.

A relationship might be an exchange of karma, or a pleasant/not-so-pleasant mutual agreement to create a business or a family or a partnership. So what my Beloved is trying to say, is, let it go! Let the Process of growth and development take its course, and don't fight it...there are better things ahead for you, and for them...

Isn't it true that if somebody doesn't love you, it's best that they move on so you have a CHANCE to possibly experience true love as something better? Would you agree to this?

It hurts like crazy, and I too have had my share of Ben and Jerry's for dinner, straight out of the carton, to ease my own pain from my many, many failed romantic endeavors on Gaia in this incarnation alone!

It all has to do with the vibration; whenever there is vibrational incompatibility with a couple, there is no more learning or soul growth to take place.

It's messy and painful to change living situations; it's scary to be a 'party of one' socially.

If it wasn't for Sylvia Browne's description of the Humanitarian Loner I would have completely lost hope.

She was married three times, it didn't work, she gave up trying and accepted it; I quit trying before marriage number three. I tried to become a nun, and God said, 'NO'. So I became a mother, and gave up on any relationship entirely.

As the forces of the energy of Ascension increase, odds are that you might be being 'positioned' for an eventual reunion with your twin soul, your twin flame, or your Illuminated Twin Soul--your 'Other' half.

Please learn from the lesson of my Beloved and Myself--it has taken a TEAM of workers in Spirit, coordinating together, to get me to 'open up' to the possibility of Loving him, my own Twin Soul!

It was his hardest lesson to learn--you could have your own what you took for granted--leave.

It is our joy and our amazement that we got together--and it wasn't without the help of some very powerful angels both on earth and in spirit.

It was a blessing beyond measure that the timelines were healed, and I was given my son I so greatly missed. We would have worked though our differences regardless...but now on this new timeline Life is so much more pleasing for us all.

Now we are inseparable. My Beloved and I are Twin Souls, as one root and two big branches, like twin trees in a garden...our auras are always touching even though we span the Veil.

There is nothing that compares to this feeling. It makes my lifetime of loneliness melt away in an instant.

Let Go.

The only thing you can do is Raise Your Vibration. That you can control. And allow everything to come up from your heart of many, many powerful lifetimes, to heal.

Find your Twin. Find your Soul Mate. And if the latest prince or princess turns out to be a toad, so be it. You are worthy of so much more than a creature who eats bugs and flies to win your love. Wish them luck, set them free, and secretly give thanks for the one that gets them next so you don't have to deal with them any longer!!!

I hope you don't mind my personal advice.

I've lived it.

I hope it might make things a little easier on you, to have this understanding that was so difficult for both of us, my Twin and myself, to achieve in our hearts.

Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc

P.S.

Where Is The Love by The Black Eyed Peas

http://youtu.be/FotCW5OIFZc

The Charlie Brown Tree

To my left is a six-dollar Charlie Brown Tree in a four-inch pot. The golden star on a stick is shining. The tiny ornaments that bent the top with their weight are half-bleached by the sun. What day is it? February 24, 2013. Christmas was two months ago!  And yet only now I have the 'courage' to admit plant growing 'loss' and toss the whole thing away. Not even to compost it!

When I saw it at SavOn, it was at the register in the plant equivalent of 'Traumatic Full Arrest'. I was good with plants, but not that good. And not with this type. I had killed many a Bonsai tree of this type of bush in my 'wanting it to be a hobby' days. There is a knack to the art of Bonsai, mainly, good outside space, plenty of light, and plenty of time to care for it. And of also not being afraid to trim when it is growing in the shape you don't want. I had the 'eye' to see the shape of my Bonsai in natural trees and mimic it with my hand. I terribly sucked at actually growing my own Bonsai. I switched to Ikebana where I have been more in my element...

My sister, bless her heart, is struggling with yet another broken heart. In her confidence to me, I picked up we had a lot in common: being attracted to the complex-difficult partner, pushing the 'nice ones' away, and being utterly confounded at why 'he cheated on her' when she asked 'for someone to be the Real Deal' up front.

She has a lot of waking up to do.

I know, for I am finished with my self-discovery of who I am and what makes me tick. Many times the symptom of molest is the ability to have all of your life in order but your personal life is a mess. 'It takes one to know one', so to speak, and I have, 'whatever-dar' to pick up those who have been through this trouble like myself.

Everyone knows about it but the person who is suffering from it. It is very much like the person who has agonized and plotted over 'when to come out' and when they do, the people in their life are like, 'we thought you would never come out'! 'The homosexual in the closet, much to their surprise, had not been fooling anybody!

So, if you are like us, and seek interest in a Charlie Brown Tree of a partner, STOP. If you suffer from one heart break after another, you are on the WRONG PATH. Turn around and go back into your Heart and LOOK. Just like in the picture above of the Crystal Cave in Sequoia National Park, go to that locked gate of your subconscious, open it, go inside and take a good look around. Around you there are mirrors that are other people and how they treat you. There are 'lessons' to help you learn more of your Truth about yourself.

For if you do not love yourself completely, adorable warts and all, you are in no position to love anyone else.

I have just come out of the cave I fell into and landed sharply on my 'bottom' eight years ago. That was at the end of my 'string of long failed relationships'. I crashed and burned. I said 'no more'.

I decided I had to be there for my family, to be strong for them, and to survive. I had a lot of healing to do when my ex clearly moved on, and I still had to interact with him for the sake of the children. Once his cell phone was in his back pocket while they were being 'passionate', and left a twenty-minute message on my answering machine, oh babies, yeah baby's, moans, the works! Fortunately I chose 'not to take it personal' and deleted it at once. Being witness to their lovemaking was a terrible knife through my heart.

But by being Open and Being Present, by Following Joy and a lot of Careful Observation, I got out of my jail that I had put myself into to survive from my trauma in the first place! After survival, many of the symptoms, hypervigilance, hyperarousal (a tickle makes you jump two feet up, you startle that easily), avoidance of triggers, and recall of events, affect the survivor with PTSD.

Reiki has helped considerably. It has helped me to stand on my own two feet and open up to work with Spirit on my Healing. This did not happen overnight. It has taken just as many years 'after the memory' as 'the memory was buried deep in my subconscious'.  I learned that I was blaming myself, on a deep soul level, and buying into a lie to protect the abuser. I did not consider myself worthy of Unconditional Love. Just like the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, I wanted to be loved into my true splendor by another. But life does not work like that. And my 'love' for other 'shipwrecks' only pointed to how terribly off-course my own life path had been in the Heart-of-Hearts department.

I am thankful for all of my patients, my friends, and my loved ones who I have had the opportunity to share Unconditional Love--the lovingkindness from my heart to theirs. It was ultimately their Love and Persistence, and Gratitude and Acceptance, that made me see my Dis-Ease in not thinking I was 'worthy' enough to let all that Love in. Only from Heaven. Only from the Higher Dimensions, everything was able to be processed 'normally' by me. That is the headquarter for Unconditional Love, a healing power in the Universe that has nothing to do with 'taking it to the next level in relationship'.

It just is. In the Here and Now. And it is Wonderful. It is waiting to come into 3D, and lift you up to everything you have wanted to discover about Love and Life and Heaven. All you have to do it 'act as if', do your Lessons-Homework on your soul growth, and work hard at self-liberation from Untruths.

Once you come to this Truth, you are ready to step out of that Cave, and into the Sunshine where you belong. Dis-Ease dissolves completely, once and for all.

This is my message to you, baby sister, from your Sister who loves you so much. I am sorry for your heartache. I know the dreams you had, of a home, family, children. I know the emptiness that drives you to these 'relationships' with sharks of men. A snake is a snake, and a seeker must be light on her feet and alert to weed out the predators from the 'good partners'.

A man will tell you he loves you with his actions, with the way he looks at you, and the way he listens to your heart.

He doesn't have to say 'what you want to hear' to 'prove his love for you'.  If anything, to me it is quite the opposite. The 'poets' are the ones who are more interested in 'the chase' than anything else in Life. The one who is worth waiting for will go through the lessons in the Muse song, 'Madness' to make sure that the attraction is worth his interest. And will take his time until like the song by the Cure, 'Close to Me' to let you know he has made up his mind. Then YOU are free to select if 'he is right for you'. If it is, it is a 'match' or a 'stick', something mutually compatible for both of your Higher Development. But never a 'match stick' to burn up and disappear. If for any reason you are not comfortable, the Universe will send another. Just you wait!

I have to go. The mobile missile launcher Nerf tank has me under attack. The kids are trying to get me off the computer. It is a beautiful day, and I must go.

Aloha nui loa, for mau loa. Namaste,

Reiki Doc