What An Anesthesiologist Ate Today

0730--Upon Awakening this Morning:
one fig
one mini-biscotti

1000--Breakfast with my child:
one chestnut crepe
pineapple-banana-orange smoothie

1100--On the way to work:
black coffee

1500--'Lunch':
three packets of graham crackers, six crackers in all, on a mini-break from a long case

2000--Dinner:
arugula and red pepper salad with salad dressing
two plums
Zero Vitamin Water in Pink

During this time, I cared for one child, one cockatoo, two rats, one turtle, one snake, and four mice.
I cared for myself. And I cared for one patient in a seven-hour case. I also straightened up the house; I do not have domestic help.

I drove between sixty and seventy miles today, between daycare, work, and home.

And I had six hours of sleep, but I slept badly, only falling deeply asleep for part of this. The reason my sleep was so disrupted is because I was post-call, and had only two and one half hours organized sleep the night before.

I would very much like to exercise. I have equipment in my basement. But not spare time in my day to use it.

This is the face of medicine today. All of us workers in the Health Care Field, have all the life being drained out of us by the economic system. It makes us industrialized, work entities who are rewarded for our efficiency at taking care of people.

Today was a short day. A colleague of mind who understands four weeks ago I just had major surgery, covered for me from 0700-noon. My second-call assignment would have been thirteen hours with one gap of thirty minute break if I had not. My normal wake-up time is 0430.

Not by our Heart, are we compensated, in the medical field.

In Heaven Dollars, I came ahead:

1) making my child's favorite breakfast
2) putting a first-time surgery patient with cancer at ease in Pre-Op Holding. The family too.
3) Being a continuous source of Reiki in the Operating Room.
4) By following the five steps Usui recommends in Reiki (look at right side bar) better than my usual.
5) By giving Reiki to my patient in the long case.

In Earth money, I can pay one eight the payment for housing, after taxes.

Is it worth the price? You tell me. I am okay with it, for now. I am conditioned to live like this.

Sometimes in my mind, I go back to when I was a little girl, going camping. I found a meadow for the first time, and walked on fallen logs around and through it.

That was Heaven for me. I go there every now and then. In thought. One day I hope work will seem more like Heaven too. With lots of sleep, and time to eat, and time in the day to accommodate more than just existence and employment.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

On Rest and Relaxation

Everyone needs sleep. Except perhaps maybe doctors. It seemed like that my last OB anesthesia call. Last Sunday night was particularly brutal. Every time I went into a deep sleep I was woken out of it by a nurse telling me to go upstairs and do some anesthesia whatever.

By the time morning came, I had to drink coffee to be able to drive and get my boy from my mother's house which is the opposite way from our home and school. The medical center is between both of our homes.

Monday was hard. With dropping off my son and taking care of errands, there was not much time for sleep. About two hours.  I was so wound up it was hard to rest. The hours are hard on my son, too. He doesn't sleep well out with a babysitter. He fell asleep with his head on my lap as I sat on the couch talking on the phone to coworkers.

I can't begin to say how many times my peace and rest has been interrupted because of work. Even on post-call days. I will just get to sleep and there is a call, usually from someone I have to answer, like a boss. Even just checking disrupts my sleep. Studies have shown that night workers never rest as well, and not only do people think they are 'lazy' but they live shorter lives due to all that stress.

Tuesday I had a day off. It was magnificent, except for the fact that I was not being paid.

We had a pleasant, not-rushed breakfast before school. I dropped him off AND picked him up. In between I cleaned, took care of some of the pets, and spent around an hour outside in the garden. It was the last that renewed my Spirit. The breeze before the storm made me feel ALIVE! I love gardening, and it has been weeks before I had the chance to do so. 

We had dinner, dessert (I baked brownies), and played Kinect for the first time since Christmas. 

Yes,  a boss called at nine o'clock and took an hour of my time at bedtime. I should say, former boss and colleague who is suing the big boss that absconded with the cash. This individual takes one hour of my time at a pop, especially when I am done with my twenty-four hour shift and trying to leave the hospital. I have noticed more peace since they left. 

When it comes right down to it, out of the entire month of February, the number of days I have to 'do what I want to do' are three. How can one function? By barely hanging on.

With the coming changes, it is very important for us to rest. After every attunement, and sometimes even before, in my Reiki training, I got sleepy. It is important to rest as we assimilate to new vibration. 

I think we go someplace far away when we sleep. We go Home. And sometimes when you have that powerful dream of a loved one that seems 'real' you remember all of your life, that is a special gift that has been arranged between your loved one and Home. I think it is more than 'recharging your batteries' or 'storage backup of the day's memories'. I think we go someplace where we are conscious, we review our day, and plan what will happen in the next.

Everything happens for the best. I believe that in this powerful industrialized way of living, that wrings out every drop of productivity to take away our power to dream and to create our own reality, something has got to give. It is like watching the housing market the last ten years. Prices were going up so much I did not understand how anyone could buy a house. I barely afforded a cheap one and I have an excellent job. It had to bust. It was in a non-sustainable rate of growth.

Something is going to change in our lifestyle. Something for the better. I can sense it like the coming of the rain. Be strong, and do your best to go along with whatever happens. The vigilance of our work is getting the upper hand on rest and relaxation. But not forever. Nothing is forever, except What Is.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc