Let's Talk Shop

Today I am going to discuss my technical expertise and passion for cardiac surgery.

It's been a long journey. Unfortunately, because of what I do for a living, I have to show it 'as I see it' and this is literally. So if close up views of surgery are too intense for you, you might want to opt for a different blog post, okay?

The only thing that interested me in Medical School was the heart.

Everything else I learned as a requirement. But this? I couldn't get enough! I studied it. I drew it. I aced the anatomy section on the thorax. I went to the asian market and bought pig hearts from the butcher just so I could learn how all the valves and the muscles worked.

And the very first time I saw Stuart Jamieson, MD,  show us how to tell the difference between an Aortic Valve and a Pulmonic Valve in lecture? I was hooked!

I asked to do a cardiac surgery rotation during my surgery elective. I worked with Dr. Jamieson, and this is the view I had while I worked as a first assistant to the fellow to open the chest.

I enjoyed everything and all things about that specialty, and a surgeon, hopefully, a cardiac surgeon, I was to be.

This is what it looks like when you are in on the field. With my residency, my heart surgeon used to let me be the 'designated heart holder' and retract with my hand so he could see.

All the extra time I had spend closing the leg in the heart room as a medical student paid off! In residency I would race the senior resident on the other leg, and even learned how to harvest vein.

I also grew close to the heart surgeon at my hospital--he would be my best mentor I ever had.

Heart surgery training is a long, lonely road. There is internship, then residency--five years in training--just to get IN to a hearts program. Then there are three years after that.

I didn't make it.

A really bad rotation on Vascular had me decide this wasn't how I wanted to live my life. I was working from three in the morning to ten at night every day. So I finished my second year, and signed up for Anesthesia training. I did my second year twice, because that is where I had to begin in Anesthesia Residency. It was a good fit with my personality and lifestyle. I also made it to be Chief Resident for my class.

I still loved the heart room. There wasn't any place else I would rather stay. This was my new view, from the head of the bed.

I did a fellowship. I learned transesophageal echocardiography (TEE).

I even did perfusion for one week in fellowship--I ran the heart-lung machine--just like this--with the perfusionist. I set it up and made sure the patient was asleep when they were on bypass.

I returned to teach. I taught many an anesthesia resident how to do hearts safely. I had extra training in pediatric hearts in fellowship. When I was pregnant I wondered if my child would pick up the knowledge of the healing that went on in OR 1...

Later I was invited to start a heart program at a local hospital... which I did.

The state surveyor said my CV was the nicest one they had ever seen, with the most qualifications.

I was super excited to bring this healing to the community where I now worked.

But it wasn't easy. A heart program takes people with experience to make it happen. And every hospital has their own culture.

Not many women succeed in community practice.

I had been offered jobs on the spot at St. Michael's hospital in New Jersey (I went for a training program in off-pump CABG), Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, and also at a local trauma hospital. The first I didn't want to relocate, and the second, I had just bought my house which was too far to commute, and the third, well--some of the heart surgeons there didn't like women.

I had forgotten, but a surgeon at the hospital closest to my home also had offered me a job while we played a game of golf together at a conference on anticoagulants in Austin, Texas, too. He was amazing person, very forward-thinking, and did one hundred percent off pump CABG for everyone.

I was that good.

It's been four years since I did my last heart.

I try not to think about it.

The Reiki training wouldn't have been possible with the hours I was expected to keep doing hearts. (I took a lot of classes at night for the Psychic Development in addition to the Reiki classes on the weekends).

And I'd have never been able to drop my son off at school every day, like I do, which is an important bonding time for me. (Hearts cut at eight, so Anesthesia must have the patient in the room by six thirty, and the room set up starting at six at the latest).

You can't do hearts forever. With training I put in about ten years in the heart room. That's as long as most people do...

(That's what I love about heart surgery the most--patients get better. You can see the pink in their cheeks the very next day after repair of their heart...)

Cardiac Anesthesiologists train in Thoracic Anesthesia too. I am very good with a bronchoscope. So when a colleague had trouble with a double-lumen tube, a nurse asked me to come in from the Doctor's Lounge into that OR to help.

I saw the problem immediately--it was a tight fit between the bronchoscope and the endobronchial lumen of the double-lumen tube. Instead of silicone, the team was using cetacaine spray, which is not flammable, but it not a lubricant either. Head of nursing had made the switch.

The surgeon was frustrated. So I held the tube, backing it up and advancing it with the surgeon who had taken over the placement (One I know, not this one, actually BILLS for it, placing the tube!).

My colleague was like, 'If you are just going to hold the tube I can do it...' and reached for the tube.

I didn't let them. I held my ground, and did what the surgeon asked me to do. It got placed perfectly.

My colleague challenged me.

I said, 'I have known this surgeon ever since I was a resident. It has been over twenty years (I stretched it  a little). I was calming him down. We have been through a lot together and we work well as a team.'

The other surgeon, the assistant, had been watching and listening. He was taking it all in. He is Sri Lankan. I enjoy working with him on thoracic cases. He always is respectful and level-headed.

After tube placement, we were both in the Doctor's Lounge.The patient needed to be prepped before he could assist.  I was post-call from a very long call, and on my way home. When we are post-call, our 'filters' don't work so well.

We were talking bronchoscopes, and somehow the conversation to a turn in a direction I normally don't discuss, especially in front of a heart surgeon.

It was like my heart spoke without my being able to stop it.

'When I started the heart program here, there was nothing. It was so hard. Do you know what happened? For example, once I was placing a double-lumen tube and I had requested a bronchoscope the night before. Do you know what they got me? A GLIDE scope from the E.R.!!! How was I supposed to check placement with that? (bronchoscope is long and thin fiberoptic, a glide scope is a shoe-horn type thing for intubation)'

And much to my dismay, I kept going, and under my voice I said, 'I get almost violent when someone threatens the care of my patients...they thought I was a total bitch and they freaked out and they never wanted me in there again.'

And he looked at me.

He listened. And he understood exactly where I was coming from.

Later, as we were talking Singapore restaurants in the area, he said, 'Give me your number' and he texted me a link to the restaurant he recommended. I took his contact information, his photo, and sent him the link to the new one I was sharing with him.

His acceptance and offer of friendship validated me as a healer, as a cardiac anesthesiologist, and as a patient advocate (of which I am a total bulldog! Just last week, I overheard some staff talking about how they have never heard me raise my voice in the OR but they did that day and it surprised them. The table was beyond its weight limit, and when unlocked for a turn, it started to tip. With the patient on it!!! So I said STOP as loud as I could, and got the lock back on. One inch more and the patient would have had his head hit the ground as the unbalanced table would have immediately fallen over)

He wished me Happy Mother's Day today. He sent a text. He even put a little smiley face at the end of it.

.
I wouldn't have changed a thing with how it all turned out. Reiki is the way of the future. Energy Healing, Quantum Healing, and addressing Dis-Ease will one day be more important that anything that is the standard of care at this time. I look forward to helping to align the healing of the future with those who are the healers of today--both in mainstream medicine, and other healing arts.

I hope that the photos were not offensive to you in any way. They are technical, and are my expertise. They are not for everyone. But they are unfortunately totally normal for me, now that I have been in this field for as many years as I have...


Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc


P.S. The heart symbol with the hands is a Seraphim symbol for Love. When I saw the Seraphim in October 2012, in meditation, it made that symbol and several others--harmony, Light....it was very nice. So now you know one Seraphim symbol...

Would You Do It For A Kiss?

Today I had a two and one half hour gap in my morning. First case, gap, then several more. I had made plans to make phone calls and book appointments for the family in this spare time. This is something I can never do during surgery. I looked forward to it after I finished my first case. When I was in the washroom, enjoying a moment's silence as I planned my 'gap' agenda, overhead I heard the page: Dr. (me) please call the front desk.  I hurried and washed my hands, walked across the lounge, and picked up the phone.

There was an emergency upstairs. A procedure was being done under conscious sedation, and it was not sedating the patient, who was moving around too much for the life-saving procedure to progress.

I said I would go. I opened up a two-cracker pack of graham crackers, snapped them in half, and in half once more, popped them in my mouth, and walked to OR 4 to get my things.

Anesthesia outside of the operating room is highly 'underfurnished'. It frightens me. In the area I was summoned, there would be no anesthesia cart or anesthesia machine to take care of the patient properly. I brought my own syringes and needles, a big stack of alcohol wipes in those little foil packets, my metal lock box of drugs, went back through the lounge, and headed up the stairs.

I did not want to go.

I did not want to go because a flail is never any fun for anesthesia to be the 'closer' and come in to save the game. I detest being asked by the ER to intubate after they have failed because I can't tell the difference between a vocal cord and that nasty frozen hamburger they pre-form into patties by the time they call me. Every look causes swelling, bleeding, and distortion of the normal anatomy of the airway.

I also did not want to go because this place was the death of my cardiac anesthesia career.

I built the program. I was recruited. They started it up, and used my CV, which, incidentally, was 'the nicest the state evaluator approving the place had ever seen'. Of course. This was community. I was academic.

They wanted me to design my own cart. They bought an anesthesia machine and a cart. They had no concept of the equipment, how to order it, and how to make it safe. It was like having to describe how to tie your shoes. A cart is a cart that is fully stocked!  I don't know where to put the little dividers to arrange all of the tools! That is an anesthesia tech's job! Not mine. They wanted me to be both a tech, an anesthesiologist, hold hands and do critical care in the ICU after the case. I picked every drug in the cardiac drug tray at the request of pharmacy. They were clueless.

But it all came down to testosterone and my lack of it.

Testosterone that did not like my skills at transesophageal echo. I have a certificate. I go to conferences. I am as good as  cardiologist, but I don't have the technician to help me with the echo machine. I do anesthesia, put in the probe, to the study all at the same time by myself. When the surgeon 'screws up', and the valve goes in with a leak and needs a stitch, or the bypass graft kinks and the heart is doing worse upon closing the chest, it is my job to say, 'Look! See? Fix it. Now.' and the surgeon has to listen and go back into the chest. Even if they have closed it at the end of surgery.

It was the director of the heart program, a nurse in a suit with a clipboard, who hired the divorced military guy (not a nurse) to run the area. He had a nasty divorce and hated his ex for taking the children. Enter me, single mom. And add very obvious 'chemistry' between the director and the new hire. He was as dumb as a rock. And nasty. It was the worst humiliation, professionally and personally, in my entire life. Nothing I could do was right. It was toxic. And my performance suffered from the stress. I got out.

As I put my hand on the door of the stairs, I summoned 'The Buddhist', the friendly entity who was so helpful with my nana's situation and my accepting it.

I am not going alone! I am not going alone! SMACK--ever see the whales smack their tail on the water? ever see a trainer do that to call a whale to the stage?--SMACK! SMACK! I sent out a distress signal with my mind.

He showed up. And was on my right. His left arm was on my waist as I walked into my nightmare, where the people hurt me so much just three years ago, and kicked me out of my own heart room.

I don't want to do this! I can't! I won't! 

He knows me well. He negotiated. The selling point: 'would you do it for a kiss?'

Yes. From my first swim lessons, swimming across the huge pool, which terrified me, to get a Tootsie Roll, to Now, where I find myself agreeing to facing my worst demons, for the reward of a kiss. The Buddhist did not specify what kiss or how, but promised, 'there will be one at the end'. Okay.

As I continued to walk down the hall from the stairs, I was engulfed with this message from The Buddhist: I am so proud of you. I am so very proud of all you have accomplished. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved. I am so proud...

If felt like water in the desert, a huge rain storm to my parched soul, and I thanked God for it.

I walked in to the room. I could tell the room full of people was anxiously awaiting me. They thanked me profusely for coming on such short notice.

The patient was thrashing while they were working. I can't say more, I wish I could. Just know that he was not in good shape, but the mind had no concept of the danger he was in. I asked for propofol. I asked what they had given. I used my skill....

I also used my Reiki. I comforted and soothed the patient and he calmed right down. The propofol I used was only thirty milligrams. That is fly spit. That is nothing in a two hundred pound patient. As long as I kept my heart center connected, the patient snored and I helped hold the airway open.

An earthquake struck at that time. People in the room were worried. I knew. There was big energy work going on in the area. Last time I did big work there was Tsunami in Kona on Big Island. A shift in the energy patterns in the area can destabilize it a bit, on Gaia's surface. I had just cleared and protected an entire restaurant and everyone who had put foot into it for three days right down the street. Even bigger work was happening in this part of the hospital. On me. I thought my candles had 'cleared' it. But this was the last 'knot' in my soul.

How do I know? Well, this was followed by my NEXT worst nightmare: family wanting to watch me do my work.

Because of the severity and unexpected turn of the illness, the next of kin wanted contact. We covered the patient's blood and surgical field, gowned them up, and let them in.

What happened next was sheer magic.

I let go. I was heart centered. I explained who I was and what was up. 'I am doing my thing, he is under full anesthesia. That is why he is not responding to you. This is more for you, than for him right now. Do what you need to do. We are Ohana. We treat everybody like they are our own. He will be okay.'

They prayed over him, and I both felt the energy movement, and I was saddened at how limited their Spiritual Life is. It is like a crappy narrow bandwidth on a public WiFi that is slow, and I have like, the best and can surf everything with ease! Just because of what someone told them, and their parents grew them up with. Everyone has the right to this kind of connection to Source; it is a birthright.

We transferred him next, without the family, to the OR. My OR. The one I started. The one I didn't click. I helped my buddy, who I had groomed on his arrival to the group so he would shine with the team that didn't click with me. I was an extra pair of hands, and gladly so.

As I watched him work, I saw the heart room in action I had envisioned. A nice team that was supportive. Ultrasound guidance for central line placement without having to make them run and get it from the ER.

I also saw that his skills, both interpersonal and technical, surpassed me. He was accurate, friendly, and fast, just the way I am in the main OR or Labor and Delivery. He had confidence, and the patients were safe.

I felt proud for what I did for the community. Even if I had to sacrifice myself in the process.

As he started the echo, I watched the screen. It was like a long-lost dream when I used to do those studies myself.

As he got to the trans gastric short axis view, the papillary muscles were touching in systole. 'The patient is hypovolemic', my buddy said, 'Look at what those papillary muscles are doing--they are touching. He needs volume.'

His pointing it out was all the confirmation from Spirit that I needed for this sign. I had noticed it myself too.

The way a cardiac anesthesiologist remembers the hypovolemia image is that 'the papillary muscles KISS'.

I got my kiss. Just like The Buddhist promised. And I felt Lighter as I left to get ready for my twelve o'clock case.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

As soon as I focused on the chart, he began to thrash.

Auras, Edibles and Cardiac Anesthesia

Yesterday the topic was 'Yoga and Shrooms',  a subject that was prompted by the discovery of carelessly disposed 'shrooms' capsules on the floor of the Yoga 'studio' which was a restaurant the rest of the week. Guests of that establishment, without the awareness of management, not only consumed 'shrooms' on the premises but also were sloppy about the 'containers' that the substances came in.

After writing that, I realized that in front of me at the front desk in L&D that same morning had been a conversation about 'edibles' and the parent of a nurse who was suffering from weight loss in metastatic cancer.

I was surprised to hear a graduate of a local 'christian' residency training program--who has a sibling who is the primary care doctor for the nurses' parent who has cancer--suggesting the use of 'edibles' to promote a healthy appetite. The nurse was like, 'we already DID that!' and laughed. Everyone laughed.

That conversation would not have happened in my presence if there was not something important about it.

I slept on it. Yoga and 'shrooms' versus Cancer and 'edibles'...

Here is what I think--I think two important thoughts:

•  The Importance of Free Will:  In Puna District on Big Island, at Uncle Robert's End of Road there is a sign that says, 'The Kingdom of Hawaii is Here'. At Uncle Robert's, parties and get-togethers happen with all of the community invited. As a result, there is anything you could ever want to buy for sale, 'edibles' and 'smokeables' and 'everything else that is not DEA-approved' for both recreation and medicine. The crowd was nice people. I know in Hawaii things are 'different' and 'Maui Wowie' is a local custom. Whatever it does to people's aura's --that is for them to discover. We can do anything to our aura's we wish! One of my best friends on Big Island loves it--and she eats a little every day 'just to keep mellow'. She is one of the brightest stars of enlightenment I know. I can't judge her, or anyone else for taking 'shrooms'  or 'brownies' or anything else if they want to. The way I see it, psychedelics are a 'short cut' to Higher States--and my choice is to reach this the all-natural, substance-free way. I jack my vibration up in the highest way possible. That is my path, my choice, and I WANT this for myself.  I also am required as a physician to stay away from those things, or risk losing my license. So for me, I just say a polite, 'I'll pass' or 'I have really bad asthma and that will mess me up, thanks for offering' with a smile, a genuine smile, from my heart for example, when a 'fattie' is offered from a Rasta priest to me.
• Anesthesia on the Diseased Heart:  Anesthesia for cardiac surgery is RISKY. You take anesthesia, which weakens the heart, and give it to someone whose heart is so weak an operation is needed to 'fix it'. This heart compensates to achieve near-normal cardiac output--sometimes the rate increases, sometimes the heart grows bigger (hypertrophy), sometimes collateral blood vessels form--at baseline the function is anything BUT a normal healthy heart. The key to anesthesia in this situation is to 'keep the heart where it lives'. Same blood pressure, same heart rate, same preload. This isn't easy while surgery is going on. Sometimes the wait until going on bypass is nerve-wracking for me, because things are so tenuous. But today I realized, like with the parent with cancer, some auras are filled with attachments and past-life scars so much that their Vibration is anything but normal and healthy.  In these cases, perhaps, 'substances' are what helps them to 'be where they live', like an adaptation to increase the appetite in a person who is dying from cancer. Only the individual and their Guardian Angel know for sure what is really right for them.

That being said, for me, Life is the greatest High. And as my Vibration increases, I grow more resilient to annoyances and setbacks. Right now, with two family members in the hospital-both five hours drive apart, and a grandmother in a nursing home somewhere in the middle, and working full-time as a single parent, my plate is full. Yesterday there was much drama from the little ones--who are particular about clothing and shoes. I hung in there, through all the conflict, because of the Yoga I had done, because of my Reiki Practice, and because of my absolute blind trust in Source. I am, each and every day, like the 'Hanged Man' card in the Tarot. It is a good card, really. It is exactly about being in a position where there is nothing you can do but Trust and have Confidence in yourself. 'Substances' aren't always needed to go through life. But I am not to judge anyone who chooses to have those in their life as well.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

An Ascended Day in the O.R.

Today was a different day. I could see a difference in my place of work. And the collaboration and collegiality were off the charts.

Walking in: everyone said 'hello' with a smile. Sometimes that is the only one I get!

First case start: surgeon was not chomping at bit.
I was on time. Patient had to pee. We still got in the room on time (we get dinged for late starts)

Case 1: Cantankerous surgeon is in uncharacteristically good mood. Shares stories about their personal life. We still can't play the radio, because this surgeon won't tolerate anything but silence. But not being yelled at is good.

Cases 2-4: Again, remarkable change in attitude in 'the old coot'. Patients do well, and we are in 'flow'. I even get to eat a snack when I am hungry between cases!

Case 5:  Surgeon who is the sweetest, kindest, gentlest general surgeon that ever lived (who is also a lifetime vegetarian) has case go well.

Case 6: Same surgeon, technically challenging case. He apologizes to the room at the end, and everyone says, 'that was tough' and 'no worries--we'd be here in the O.R. anyway, and it might as well be with you'. Everyone leaves the case with a feeling of teamwork and having had a good day.

Case 7: Shhhh! The one I didn't want to get got moved to a Different Room! Without my asking!

Case 8: The scary one. As in, the one I came 'this close' to cancelling due to multiple serious comorbidities.  But the surgeons 'wanted cardiac anesthesiologist' and the boss picked me.  You know, this was the nicest surgeon! A new one, Vietnamese. Calm. Collaborative. Caring. We got everything done without him once throwing a fit. Trained with a famous surgeon who still operates today. And it is NOT Hillel Laks! A heart case is a lot more to take care of than a regular one. And although this one was a patient who NEEDED heart surgery, we worked on something else in the chest.

Case 9: After dropping off Case 8 in the unit, I was asked to place a central line. This patient had no venous access, and there was nobody in house but me that could do it. I stayed. It was in a patient who was as dry as a potato chip. A colleague from OB came up. And was so kind and gentle! 'This one is really hard to do--the patient is dry, and dialysis is going, and the patient is moving. This would be hard for anyone.' We got the ultrasound, and got something in. But it may have been clot in there making the wire difficult. After permacaths, large vessels can clot up.

The Magic of Case 8: Angry spouse has been waiting every since the surgery started. 'I hate this hospital!' and I apologized. I said I was on my way to see here when Case 9 came up, and it was tough.
Guess what I learned? There were even MORE comorbidities in that patient. What I did was amazing, anesthesia-wise. The spouse said, 'You need a hug? I need a hug. Let's hug.' And it was the highlight of my day.

Case 10: Colleague in trouble in PACU. I help hold for  him to place an arterial line. He misses and asks me. I get it and it slides right in.

I felt like a cardiac anesthesiologist today. And like, I was not from this planet! Everyone was kind and thoughtful, caring and considerate. I could get used to it!

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Cardiovascular Surgeons versus Anesthesia

There are two docs in my hospital I do not like to work with. One, who bullied me in the heart room so much that I am loathe to work with him, had booked a case in the Main O.R. instead of the Cardiac O.R. My heart and breath quickened, and I hoped I would not have to work with him.

Sure enough, it manifested. There was a case switch to another room. I arranged for a colleague and I to trade so I would not have to take the case.

At the right moment, I realized I would not be able to 'get back on the horse' after falling if I did not take what was coming.

I looked at this case through Reiki eyes.

The patient was a technical challenge. For these cases, thoracic ones, a big tube needs to be placed. It is  hard to fit in people whose mouths don't open very well. There was a struggle, but I got a smaller tube in, with a bronchial blocker as the plan. But it had trouble going in to the right mainstem bronchus.

I saw firsthand how cardiac surgeons think. They think they are better than the rest of us. They jump to conclusions. And they want to  'see proof'.  Instead of seeing a board certified cardiac anesthesiologist and trusting her judgement about what is going to work and what doesn't, the Minor one said, 'do this it will work!' Well, maybe at another hospital. But in mine, with our equipment, guess what? It didn't. Back to what I had in, with a bloodier airway.

The Major on went behind my back and brought in another anesthesiologist. This one pulled out the airway, which is not good because you can lose it. And he tried a bigger one. It would not fit. (Duh! I was thinking.). Then another, smaller one would not go in. He had to shove it. There was trauma. But it worked.

Did I get angry? No. I fought back with higher principles. I 'learned'. I 'learned' about the attitudes of my surgeons. I 'learned' a fully-grown man has to lift a head one foot off the bed and shove a breathing tube forcefully to get it in. I 'learned' it was perception on their part, and not me. I also 'learned' that by doing my work, with Purpose, and then doing my Work--asking for Divine Peace Healing for the room--AND asking my angels, guides and deceased Loved Ones, to 'fix it' from The Other Side through me as a channel, a GREAT DEAL of energy flowed. I was Tingling the whole time I worked. And my 'Partners in Healing' let me know when it was time to 'close the circuit'. Job was finished (it was before the end of the case).

The level of Consciousness of your typical Cardiac Surgeon is on the Lower End of the Spectrum.

Yesterday I made a stand, in Spirit, with Spirit to back me up, to REFUSE to play the I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP AND I CAN BULLY YOU GAME. I learned to hold my ground, on a spiritual level, and change the tone of the whole room. Without saying a word. It takes TWO to play. And everyone has a choice whether to get 'sucked in' to that Drama, or to withstand it like the rock on the beach that is like a boulder in the crashing waves.

Due to my telepathy, I knew that my Heart Center was connected to everyone in the room including the patient. And as the surgeon went to leave, the man I refused to acknowledge outside the OR for one year, and who stubbornly refused to acknowledge ME, thought, 'I was kind of hard on her.'

I felt it. I knew it. And when he saw me eating my Hawaiian Caramel Corn in the Doctors Lounge because I was starving, he approached me and asked it the patient was extubated and did all right. I saw that he had been setting others up to fail, by not being proactive on explaining the needs of his patient. I also saw, on a deeper level, that this man had been coddled so much by his O.R. Heart Team of nurses that he did not KNOW how to interact in any other way like 95% of all other surgeons do on behalf of their patient. I reassured him, keeping my energy GROUNDED, and directed him to the right bed in the recovery room and nurse who was taking care of him just in case he wanted to see the patient himself.

I have to admit, this was a hard thing on me. It was painful. It was a challenge to my well-being. And a choice. Looking back, I saw that this 'surgeon' is a vehicle to help me 'Dissolve' illusions about who I am, and what my skills are in the Operating Room. Nasty as it was, it was a gift from God and Spirit, in order to help me grow.

So, if YOU have one of those surgeons in your OR, or one of those Major or Minor Nasty people in your life, take the chance and ask the Guides on Earth and Heaven, to back you up, and help you Heal your World one A**hole at a time.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc