My Argument

I wish I could say more about the situation, about the circumstances and everything, but privacy keeps me to the bare minimum.

There was a fetal demise. An early one. In my specialty I see everything, and it was my turn to come and help.

The first call person didn't answer their phone. So I came in the dead of night. The family, bless them, wanted to pray before we left to the O.R. I was delighted to pray together, it felt so right. I wish I could pray like that with the patient and their family before every case, honestly, I do.

The surgeon said what a beautiful child is was. I saw it too, I agreed. It was a tragedy. Everything was perfectly formed, small, but perfect.

He wanted to put it in formaldehyde and send it to pathology.

I said, politely, if it was mewl had lost the baby I would like to see it. I really would.

He paused.

We got into the save the mother part of the procedure, so nobody put the fetus into the formaldehyde yet.

He made sure we took pictures.

I mentioned again, more insistently, that if I was in the mother's situation, I would want to spend time with it and hold it.

He said before twenty weeks we just take pictures. A picture is good enough.

And PLOP! Into the formaldehyde.

I saw red.

This was the first instance in my career, as a woman, I felt that the medical profession had crossed a line. This is the woman's body, the husband's child, and they are going to grieve this loss. Why not let them decide what to do? At least offer them the possibility to say goodbye face to face, right?

Matter of factly the OB said, 'at this age you don't have to bury it.'

It.

Therein likes the problem.

Who decides what is an 'it'?

The representative of the medical establishment?

Or the parents who conceived the child?

Typically, in most of these incomplete miscarriages, the baby is removed in bits and pieces.  I think that's why the beauty of this perfect child struck him--due to the delay of the first call, nature took it's course, and there really wasn't that much to do except look for retained placenta.

The nurse couldn't believe how he kept talking about the beauty of the baby even outside the O.R., down the hall. He wouldn't shut up about what he saw, how beautiful it was, how perfect. The face...

I planted the seed.  I planted the seed of doubt in someone who undoubtedly has performed many, many many a D and E. You know, a TAB. A therapeutic abortion.

This isn't about abortion.

This is about the rights of the family in situations where there is fetal demise. Where I used to work, twins hardly bigger than this one, were held by the grandmother and mother, and we were asked about how cute they were. It was a little awkward to see the grieving so raw, but it was not insurmountable, and it certainly didn't interfere with care.

How many ways are we interfering with the natural grieving process? How many ways are we taking over the patient's right to autonomy, and to their wishes just because we have become so used to these tragedies that they are now routine?

I didn't expect to create change in this situation. I was given a voice, and I used it. I questioned authority, if you will.

You have no idea how influential the anesthesiologist can be to the functioning of the team, and how strong of an advocate for the patient they are when the patient is unable to speak for themselves.

I thank you dear Lord, for the surgery going perfectly. I thank you for the opportunity to be present for this couple, this family, in their time of need. Please console them with your perfect Love as they experience the grief and loss of the empty womb. Guide them to healing, perfect healing, with your Divine Grace. Please tell the little one in Heaven they did an excellent effort and they and their family did nothing wrong. It was not meant to be. Please open the hearts of those in the profession who have perhaps allowed them to close a little more than they realized. Thank you for hearing my call.

Thank you, for sending me a son. And a home. Thank you for my not being the same hungry I was back in the day. Thank you for your comfort, and guidance. Thank you for helping me not have to cook last night, for the wonderful meal at Denny's, where I was happy and content just to be.

God is good. Life is good.

I love you.


Ross

Carla experienced brutal and savage loss of a child just after she had given birth to our son. She had been told it was dead, she never heard it cry. She knew from having given birth to our daughter, that everything had been normal up until the birth.

She was denied the opportunity to view the baby's corpse.

Everyone told her she was crazy to want to see it.

But Carla, being psychic, knew in her heart her son had lived, and had been taken elsewhere. She had heard of things like this happening, not often, but from then on she kept to her own counsel, and wisely so.

Her very own husband and father of her child had betrayed her. I had been convinced due to my spiritual lineage to 'save the bloodline' from outside attack.

Never once did I consult or approach my Carla, for I knew what the answer was--'how can you be so ridiculous, give my my son, only I can raise him, and if we are all killed for it, so be it.'

Carla has the courage, when at the time, I did not.

This is what we had to heal, over the millennia.

This is our wound.

It is healed.

And now, it is only a blip, Carla passed the test--in speaking her mind, and speaking up when the time was ripe for it.

And then some...Carla is making it, creating it, holding the space, for the energy of all mothers who experience loss, to have the right to decide for themselves, then and there, what is right for them, to be encouraged to act upon their wishes, and to be respected for the sanctity of the contents of their womb--24/7, 365, across the globe--in childbirth and in fetal demise--what happens naturally. So that peace may inherit the hospital and medical center and women's birthing center and everything in between.

Abortion? The elective kind for something that is unwanted?

This we discuss not.

It does not pertain to us, or to any of the situation we described.

Please do not twist our words on anything.

Thank you.



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

As We Progress...

As we learn in our Life Lessons on our Earth School, as souls, it is important to appreciate the blessings which we are given...for the time to truly experience the joy of being alive.

Yesterday work was fast and furious, a good day, but without time for maintaining one's sense of well-being. Fortunately I was able to go home at an earlier time. The whole reason I got into anesthesia as a career in the first place was that you would start early but then finish around two p.m. on most days.  It was a nice lifestyle.

I came home, and yes, I had an errand. The snake hadn't eaten in three weeks. There was a delivery of food for him expected at the pet shop. We had stretched it out a whole extra week. So I got him food, he was hungry, and he ate well. Usually once a week is enough for him.

Yes, the dishwasher needed to be unloaded. Yes, there were chores around the house. But it was the last sunny day, our summers stretch out into October here, so I put on my bathing suit and went into the back yard.

The pool was clear but only seventy degrees (20C). Anthony bet me five dollars just to jump in, but I didn't want to shock my system. I went into the hammock and enjoyed the sun, almost dozing off, for perhaps one hour. Then I watered the plants. Anthony has a new catcher's mitt. So we went to the park to play catch.

I realize that time passes quickly. When your boy wants to play catch, it's a gift. So you play catch.  Sometimes I get hurt because he throws so hard. I had a ball hit me on the side of the knee. I don't understand why he throws so hard. He doesn't mean it. He has an arm, you know? But most of the time, I got to pitch. There's a windup and a delivery, you move your whole body in a sequence and as you fall onto your landing leg you whip your arm. That's where the speed comes from. I can't throw hard. But I can aim. The fresh air, the sunshine, the being in my yoga pants and a tee shirt and not caring how I look...it is restorative. It really is.

What was nice was when we came home, dinner was ready in the oven. I baked chicken breasts, with lemon, and also, a whole lot of very small yams. All I had to do was steam some broccoli, and we were set to eat. I made a small appetizer plate of crackers and mozzarella cubes and fresh cherry tomatoes from the back yard. As the broccoli was steaming we ate that, and watched Anthony's football game. He likes the Seahawks.

I see clearly that he won't want to or be able to spend time with me like that as he gets older. One day I'll be making dinner alone, enjoying my hobbies alone, that sort of thing. It goes by quickly. A friend just went on vacation with the family, but the oldest went on a separate vacation with their significant other. It was poignant how life changes. The oldest is very much loved, and loves the family, it's just that this is the way it is, they vacation separately now. I watch and I learn, so I realize my special times are special here and now, and I make a point to enjoy them. In life there are no guarantees.

Every day is a gift. And every 'recess'--time to play between the lessons--is like the icing on the cake.  I can't tell you how wonderful the afternoon breezes from the ocean and sunshine felt on my skin. I can't tell you how nice it was to forget where I was and all my things I have to do for an hour. I can't tell you the joy I had to discover a new baby pepper and how happy our newly transplanted cabbage baby plants are. And the strawberries too. I'm glad I was able to see that the citrus look a little curled in the leaves. I can take them to the garden store to be diagnosed. I saw yellow, I worried a little. I spoke with the trees and I told them from my heart that I will do my very best to take care of them.

Our neighbors are wonderful. We saw the one who sold us this house, their family is like family to us. He used to play baseball. He borrowed my mitt and played a little catch with Anthony in his driveway. I saw Diego the boxer we got to dog-sit. He's so sweet.

Life is good.

Appreciate all you can appreciate while you can still appreciate it.

Lessons have a way of distorting our natural sensibilities and equilibrium. Don't be afraid to pause and let your equilibrium settle back.




Ross

Carla is resilient. You should have heard what she said to the trickster who swindled her on the gwindel. Anthony was wise and told her to look the crystal up on google images. She found it for sale on another website. The weight of the crystal itself was more than the seller said the entire package weighed! She let him have it! How can the crystal, and the box, and the stand and the packing materials suddenly weigh together less than the crystal?

And she dismissed him and put him into my hands. She called me by my real name, of course, not our nickname Ross our friends and family call me. Then she moved on. Carla knows that her credit card company is giving a temporary refund. She also knows that the selling platform, eBay, has a guarantee to protect its buyers. On Monday things will settle out. And if they don't work out in her favor, she can chalk it up to 'experience' which is something everyone has to do from time to time.

She still longs for her crystal.  There is an ache and a void for her, she doesn't like some crystals to be in the wrong hands. There are times she has bought up the larimar just to keep it safe and in her gentle care. A lot of people like to work with crystals...but Carla can sense that they don't know how to do it, and they stress the crystals out. It's work work work and only a little bath once a month to cleanse them. It's similar to how some people have dogs. Is the dog there for you? For many people it is. But for the Ascended pet owner, they are there for their pet. To make a good home for them and give them a good life. It is much along the lines of this.

Carla has stones from Oeshinsee. I sent her many a heart-shaped stone just so she would know I am thinking of her, and her pockets were full. It's not a beautiful crystal from the altitude and snow, but it's close enough. With the water and the stones she has anchored into the energies of the earth, it's like one puzzle piece is in the right place for her, and gently, slowly she continues on with her healing work.

Also, we'd like to post it here, but we didn't because we don't have the permission of the coworkers/nurses. But her work has a set up with small portable healing massage devices, one for the neck, another for the feet (you must wear booties like in surgery to prevent infection), and two for the back.  On Thursdays the administrators bring them out. They call it the spa day for the afternoon. Carla put out some aromatherapy. You don't need a diffuser. Just put a few drops in a cup of hot water and the room will smell wonderful. She did helichrysum and rose. Everyone loved it. And two nurses asked her for Reiki which she happily gave.

Our healing centers are just in the little buds. And in time, they will nurture and grow. She also has an invitation to participate in a larger activity which has both of us very excited and jubilant to be given this opportunity to increase our healing work's awareness.

Now it is time soon for Anthony to wake up.

It is a long day for them both, and Carla needs to make breakfast.




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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Twins  (he blows on the ends of his fingers and puts them in invisible holsters on each side of his belt as if he's playing cowboys...I love that man so very much, and truly I am never bored when I am with him.)

Your Souls Are Like Sponges!

Yesterday was Back To School night at the local high school. There was a Freshman parents only lecture at five thirty. There was a robocall twice that told us what to do, and I did it. I found the email, opened up the file, printed it, and gave it to Anthony to write what classes and where I was to go. 

The man from the robocall, the counselor with the gravelly voice, opened the lecture. The other counselors finished . There were three for all the letters of the alphabet, the first part, the middle part, and the last for last names. Then There was another one for Intervention. I was surprised to learn what demerits are. If you are tardy to class it's kind of brutal. As the passing time between classes is coming to a close, like at the theater during intermission where they play the chimes, the gravelly voice counselor plays the theme from Jaws. And at the end, the teachers lock the doors. Then the counselor 'sweeps the halls' and everyone late gets a demerit. They need to give a lunch in detention to make it go to zero. Unexcused absences and other things take off four points. With six demerits you have Loss of Privileges. They didn't say what those are, but I imagine you can't go to dances, etc. 

That's where the Saturday school comes in. You get to erase six demerits by going to Saturday school. If you've ever seen the movie The Breakfast Club that's what it's all about.

It's an American thing. 

What surprised me was that many of the teachers were close to my age, or perhaps, a little older. 

The language teacher looked very much like the Spanish teacher at my high school who wore her wedding dress to school on her anniversary every year. She was a little, um, 'different' and I noticed that the language teach was wearing a white lace dress.  I went, hmmmm.

The women teachers all wore combinations of white and black. I picked up on that too.

I adore school. My father was a teacher, and I would often go to school with him. He also ran the playground after school to make a little extra money for the family.

I was delighted, absolutely delighted, to spend ten minutes in each of Anthony's classes and to meet his teachers. 

To be honest, I would much rather go to school than have to work. I love to learn. I love it that much and I'd put up with all of the personality insanity of high school just to be able to learn. I felt alive!

One of the things I noticed is the weighting of the right side of the brain. We get children in school and we appeal to the way they learn by using both sides of the brain. Small, homelike groups where we are close to the teacher. Bright colors and creating art to help us learn.

There is music, dancing, and school seems like play.

Then everything changes.

Or does it?

Look around you to where there is music, dancing and fun. Perhaps we are still being taught, but it's outside the classroom so we don't realize we are being taught. By entertainment we are taught. By religious traditions we are taught. By socialization, social concepts, and routine...we are taught.

Try to make yourselves more aware of it.

Some of Anthony's classrooms were modern. One was an alternative classroom the teacher requested/submitted a grant proposal for, and it has wobbly stools. It was fun to sit on them. I love laboratory classes. 

Learning traditions change over time. Some of his teachers teach online--through the computer. Others are pencil and paper still. The AP class is that way. Because the Advanced Placement test that gives college credit--I took one back in the day, AP American History and got a 5, the only one at the school--is given with pencil and paper.

Earth is a school. Your brain may be a 'sponge' and absorb information until age twenty-six.

But your soul never ages.

You are ALWAYS learning.

Gently, and sometimes, a little less so, the lessons are presented to you in increasing intensity until they are mastered. Then you go on to the next subject.

You are never going to stop learning about who you are, why you are here, and what makes you YOU.   Your teachers are also your other classmates.

You are excellent students of the soul or else you wouldn't be here now at all. Now is a special time, we are told. And I believe it.

Have a good day at school!

Ross is smiling and waves hello. He's doing lots and you will see the results of his work later. 

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Experience Joy!

Yesterday was a day off.

I did something I'd always wanted to do. I went to a lecture at a local garden shop. It was about citrus. Yes, everyone there -- it was packed!-- was retired. But the audience and the speaker truly loved their citrus trees, and wanted to protect them.

Protect them?

Yes. Absolutely. Protect them.

It appears trees are susceptible to disease. And there is a killer disease out there that is transmitted to them by psyllid insects the same way malaria is transmitted to humans through mosquitoes. It's called HLB--huanglongbing (https://www.cdfa.ca.gov/plant/acp/) and it hardens up the 'arteries of the tree'--the vessels which carry the sap.

It's got a whole quarantine area in Southern California. And Florida too.

The citrus most at risk are the grapefruit and pomelos.

I had no idea, no clue. I had no idea why there was rebar in the ground by my tree (trees need iron. Someone there said when you plant a tree put three nails in the bottom of the hole). I thought putting in spikes of fertilizer was enough twice a year.

I learned there is neem oil and another spray that's bee safe but you need to spray your trees when they are dormant, after the blooms, and after the fruit sets. It's some organism that makes bugs sick.

So I bought everything.

My joy is to learn, and I had the opportunity to be in a class with some master gardeners. One woman just signed up to take horticulture classes at the local community college!

Long story short:  the state of California will spray and 'drench' (give a systemic pesticide to the root system that lasts one year) all affected trees. For free. However, if the tree is on an organic farm, and selling the produce as organic, even though the tree has been sprayed and given pesticides, the fruit exposed to the pesticide is still labeled 'organic' and sold as such with no notification to the consumer whatsoever. This is because it is a STATE MANDATE and all other criteria for organic are still met. Furthermore citrus trees for sale are all treated this way, all of them. And there is no labeling about this. Lastly, baby citrus trees may no longer be sold in the quarantine areas, so hurry and get them while you can if you wish to be able to grow your own food. Every one at the garden shop is logged in and records of kept on it.

When you follow your heart, you are always led to the right place at the right time. Could anyone else in the audience have had a blog to raise awareness and share what has just been shared? I don't know. But I do, and I share.

I also bought many things to help amend and fertilize the soil naturally. I bought a book on growing your own food. It was fun. I realized even if I didn't know anything, composting our wastes from the kitchen at the old house also brought to the earth everything it needed. So whether you 'know' as in 'book smart science of growing things' or you follow your intuition, one way or another things are going to work themselves out.

I made a salad I want to share. It's a switch on the old grated carrot raisin salad. I grated the five large carrots and added plain yogurt. But instead of raisins I added about half of a pomegranate's arils, and also a large handful of dried goji berries. It's a treat!

I enjoyed the time with Anthony in the garden. I enjoyed his company. In a few short years work and higher education will take him away from the house. It's nice to have company.

Ross wants me to write about the swindle.

I ordered something special online, a crystal, a gwindel from Grimsel, Switzerland. These are very rare stones. Typically they come from Chaumonix or Pakistan. or Russia. A gwindel is a twisted, rotated crystal usually of smoky quartz that comes from high altitude. They look like a hammer shattered them, and are very beautiful.  The seller was in Poland. It arrived with an empty box filled with a roll of bubble wrap and nothing in it. It was a trick.

I use these in my energy work, all of it benefits you.

I contacted the seller, the sales platform, the police (I had to file a report), and my credit card company. I did everything I could do.

But I felt stupid. And also, devastated over the energy work.

Ross helped me, in an instant. He showed me how to take my energy back in time to when I was in the water that was fed by these mountains, trace it back up, and connect even stronger than with a stone, because there is much, much more water than stone. I did it.

He asked me if I wanted him to step in with the people who swindled me?

I said yes.

He asked me, 'are you ready?' and looked me in the eye, and I know there's lots more to this than just what meets the eye. He asked one more time, 'are you sure?'

And I said yes to all.

I haven't really heard from him since. I imagine he's very busy.

This swindle, along with the blog snafu on FB (it was deemed 'aggressive' and erased every link. I have no clue where aggression can come from except perhaps the gruesome end to the suffering rat where I was terrified and shaking myself, doing the unthinkable to protect Anthony.)...are signs we aren't under the radar any more.

The diseases of the citrus trees, and the steps taken to fight it conventionally -- with the state taking control of the trees in your own back yard -- to me are signs that the think tanks Kerth mentioned in his first book (Blood drinking, etc, available on Amazon)--have been several chess moves ahead of the general public and the awakened community. This is way more than bee decimation. This is horrible in so many ways because the free will of the homeowner/agriculture business is usurped, as well as the joy of citrus quelled for so many.

Have joy anyway.

Even if our work is 'not under the radar', it's still a pleasure to write and to share.

Hiccups come along the way, and I learned a valuable lesson from Ross on how to raise my ability to work with the energies of the planet to the next level.

Today is another busy day.

Ross agrees with everything I wrote. He's always at my side whenever I am writing. He says hello too. He looks good, he's always handsome and healthy and clean and well-rested and well-fed. I'm grateful for this. That was my job in the past to make sure he was presentable and healthy in every way. I always check to make sure he's good because that job is still drilled into me.



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The gardeners <3 of souls <3

Create!

Create!  This is what we are sent here to do. We have the ability to create anything we wish, to create joy, artistry, harmony, peace, love and fulfillment.

Yesterday I came home and was surprised to find Anthony in the hammock, his hoodie up over his head. He was in a funk. He'd had a bad day.

I had come home with hopes of finally making the manicotti I had been looking forward to. Alas, the project was bumped temporarily by the family, who needed a consult by Mom, STAT!

How do we assist when one is overwhelmed? This too is another form of creation, I call it 'angelic creation' because in doing so one has to tap into one's highest interpersonal skills. I listened. I validated--'it sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed, is that it?'. We have found that some of his teachers aren't kind to his having missed school due to illness. It was an excused absence, and he really couldn't have gotten much done. The one that annoyed him, piqued him the most, was that his French project was due on the day it was due, even if he wasn't there. A family member or friend had to bring it in. Fifteen percent was taken off the grade.

This boggles the mind because we don't have that strong of a support network. It would be a huge imposition to ask someone else to bring it in. With my work hours it would be impossible.

Instead of dwelling on it, I did my best to get all of the information out of Anthony on what was due, and when? I put it on paper. He likes to keep things in his head, but I can't think without paper. So I wrote each class down, focusing on what was due soon.

One of my mom doctor friends told me that when it came to high school, and her kids were overwhelmed, she would help. She said she would color. When it needed an art project for academics, not art, she would cut, paste, draw, and color to help ease the burden off her son, who was often overwhelmed. She thought it wasn't helpful for the learning for her son to be asked to color. So she stepped in to help.

That's what I did. He had to draw clocks, write the time in numbers and in French, the time, before the hour, or past the hour. I drew three clocks and colored.  I also set up according to the form the numbers from sixty to ninety (it was supposed to be seventy to one hundred, he made a mistake). I did thirty, skipping three lines until the next one, 1...2...3... and then I put the numerals 60, 61, 62. I cheated and counted to myself in French as I did it. This helped him so that all he had to do was fill in the blanks.

Ross helped too. With the English essay Anthony was stuck on, he had us do small chunks between the assignments. First we figured out what the question was to be answered with the essay. And it's a four paragraph essay. After that, the math, one hour. Next we outlined the paper, introduction, character and personality traits by a character at the beginning of the Cask of Amontillado (he chose the Montresor guy), the same for the end of the story, and conclusion. Only the outline. Then he did the biology things online and the French numbers.

I had wanted to give up on the dinner.

But Ross nudged me to keep going. He said it will be a late night, I might as well cook. (today I am off, I've already saved fifty-six dollars by calling the water company. I used bill pay and sent it to the old house account. The billing person transferred it to this house.)

Dinner took a while.

I made a green salad, manicotti, and tomato sauce for the manicotti. Inside was a mixture of kale, collard greens, cilantro, Hatch pepper fresh kind, and escarole. I sautéed the finely chopped mixture with oil and garlic. Then I mixed the ricotta with eggs--Ross reminded me of the extra yolk and egg white I'd saved from the separating going not so well with the cheesecake. I added the greens. I let the manicotti shells boil about five minutes, I put them on a paper towel to dry, and I filled them by hand with an iced-tea spoon. The sauce had two small cans crushed tomatoes, one can chopped tomatoes, one pint of cherry tomatoes cut in half, garlic, oregano, Italian herbs...it was good.

I had noticed there was extra ricotta. So I made a lasagna out of it for the freezer. I only needed to add mozzarella cheese and pecorino. I am excited how with our freezer I am filling it with homemade food. I have two small packages of cooked manicotti, the lasagna, two ratatouilles, and one or two soups.

For the vegetable, I chopped two romanesco cauliflowers, okra, and added macadamia nuts. I drizzled them with hempseed oil, yes, you can get it from the health food store! And I roasted them.

We ate at the counter. As I was cooking Anthony thanked me for helping him get his head back in the game.

He wanted dessert right after dinner.

I said, 'no paper, no dessert'

He was shocked!

But he understood.

I was too full at eleven p.m. when he finished to eat much. But he was happy. I ate my leftovers from last night, not even half of a piece.

Today was a new day.

Kind words heal.

Food is medicine.

Cooking food you grow yourself helps to heal the budget...food prep kits and restaurants are overpriced by comparison. There's a time and a place for help, by eating out--when you travel for example. But at home? The kitchen is the fastest way to help the cash flow. Seriously.

Today we had for breakfast maple Farmer John pork link breakfast sausage, melon balls of cantaloupe from our yard, and honey dew from our yard, and Dave's famous bread toasted. There was milk to drink. Simple.

Now I will have tea. I found last year's Halloween tea. Only when I opened it, I saw the silky pyramid teabags. I used the scissors and put it into my strainer in the teapot.

Life is good.

Days off make a huge difference.  I'm going to get myself used to them : )))

Create.

The process of creation makes you feel alive, and whole!

It doesn't have to be perfect, it has to be from you.

I got sick a lot. And once, mom made me a doll to cheer me up. She used a handkerchief for the head, a sock for the dress, and she put a plastic bangle on it for a necklace. She painted a face with fingernail polish.   I treasured it so much because she made it.

Another time she used toothpicks and made a little man and woman out of potatoes (body) and cut carrots (arms and legs). I forget what was the head. But it cheered me up so very much, that she would go to that effort.

She made meals with love, did our laundry, cleaned the house. But those things she created were extra, extra special.

So...create!

I'd like to share with you an exceptionally high-vibration jewelry:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/crystalintentions?fbclid=IwAR2wpmQMvVm3_tcy4Hlvlb4EBpmEgBkXIR36MdRs4XZQgGVIDJ0PgMaAa4Q.  I bought something ask a gift for someone, and since I know the owner, she added a little something for me. The energy is super angelic, it absolutely zings! You know I like high energy. Everything is wonderful, affordably priced, and made with love. I know many people who make things, and I'm sorry I can't mention them all here today. Since I opened the package yesterday, it's fresh on my mind. That's why I'm mentioning her work. It's the best in this category. It really is. It is as good as it gets!

Ross

It's time for tea for Carla. It's been steeping as she's been writing this. And also, this is how I make the salad. See the little rolling pin? And the sup that's spilling? And the bowl? (He's totally cracking up. He likes me to have my territory/turf in the kitchen. He loves it when I cook.)

That way I'm never invited to make the salad again!

Only the grill.

Outside, in the yard, only the grill.




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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Culinary Twins

Enjoy The Day

When something goes right, it is good to take note and see what you can do to make it happen again any time you wish.

Yesterday was one such beautiful day. A baseball game at a park where there was a view of the Pacific Ocean. Shopping with Ross and Anthony, and Ross had it planned. I was looking for firewood and to use my five dollar off coupon that expires soon. Instead of firewood, we found lovely plants on sale. Strawberries and cabbages and lots of peppermint which rats do not like. We will surround the strawberries with peppermint. I also found much to my surprise, a kaffir lime tree.

We ate lunch at one of our favorite places.

Once home, Anthony watched the football game. I played a little Pokemon Go, and enjoyed a little free time. I went to an open house in the neighborhood. I've been wanting to buy racks for firewood for winter. There was a nice set of them there. I left my number so if the family wants to get rid of it I will buy it from them for less than if I bought it new. Their garden was lovely.

Then I cooked. I made this amaretto cheesecake. I whipped the whipped cream by hand, I whipped the egg whites by hand. It took all day, really, but it was fun to try something new.

Our dinner was hot Italian sausage on the grill, and grilled eggplant, zucchini, and radicchio. We had bread, and burrata salad with tomatoes and basil from the yard. Ross suggested I find a chianti, I found one in the storage area, the kind with the basket woven around the bottle. We had sparkling San Pelligrino water too.

I arranged cyclamen and impatiens and begonia into planters too, for a little color in the yard.

As we waited for the cheesecake to cool, we lit a fire in the chiminea. It was very relaxing and nice. We don't like the road noise, but except for that, it's a wonderful place to relax and call home.

Bedtime was normal time, nine.

I wish all days were like this. Even Anthony commented on how it's a good day.

As I washed the dishes, and I washed many and unloaded the dishwasher, dish rack, and started one more load in the dishwasher, I realized our life now is Ross making up for the times I was starving and afraid after he died. Anthony I've known for long time is his way of making up to me for what happened to our Benjamin. I gave thanks for both, and told him from my heart, 'I accept' and 'we are even now' so our new lives together could begin.

It's a busy day. I will add one link:  http://ronahead.com/2019/09/29/breathe-the-council/

Enjoy the new. Enjoy the day. Enjoy being able to enjoy while you are still incarnate.  Enjoy that Spirit loves you, those in Spirit who have made the Transition before you.

One more article:  https://www.shiftfrequency.com/the-enlightened-clock/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-enlightened-clock  Together these two links articles are very nice.


Ross smiles and waves. I have an early start today. He won't get started talking.



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

Unsustainable

Yesterday we went to the local recycling kiosk near our grocery store, and were surprised to learn that it was closed permanently. The two closest ones were in a town about a thirty minute drive away...in kind of a bad part of town.

Last year Anthony had decided for us to keep our CV we pay. Every can, every bottle, the state charges a nickel (five cents for those of you outside the states) so if we return it we can get our money back. We used to do this years ago as a child, collect bottles to bring back in a wagon to the local liquor store, so we could buy candy.

Now it is difficult to get that money back. Somehow it went from something we did as a kid, that worked,, your local liquor store or grocery store would give you back the money the state had them take if you returned the bottles and aluminum cans,  to something we have always done but you could  only redeem at a local recycling center, and now you have to spend time and gas money to go get your pennies back. A huge car load of recycling, for us, would give about seven dollars.

I can put the recycling into the recycle bin like I always did, lose the money, and have less around to attract rats.

Instead, I am going to research ways to reuse and recycle. And to avoid bringing the packaging into the house in the first place. Our transition to carton milk or glass bottle milk is a start.

Everything is interdependent. China doesn't want our recycle. And we haven't yet developed the technology to burn our trash for energy like in some of the nordic countries.

I'm going to talk a little more about rats for a minute.  I was surprised to learn that poisoning them isn't exactly the best option. Many predators, such as owls and rattlesnakes and coyotes, eat the poisoned but not yet dead rodents. Then they die. The poison just works itself up the food chain.

In our neighborhood, they are chopping down all the majestic eucalyptus trees on the side of the freeway for freeway expansion. People who live in homes near this area are experiencing a huge uptick in the rodent infestation. There's no more habitat for the rats or the predators. There is need to protect the home.

Apparently, all of the methods used were up for discussion on a local social media site. There were animal activists who wanted cruelty-free methods. They felt that the box the rat climbs into and gets electrocuted is the most merciful. Most agreed the glue traps were cruel and also caught other things like lizards and birds.

Even the classic snap trap had its pros and cons in the discussions. If there are kids or animals around they can get hurt. It could break a bone. The wisest one would set the traps around the property at night, check them in the morning, and set off each trap to keep the birds and lizards safe.

Even bait was up for discussion. Meat plus peanut butter. Snickers bars. Gristle and bones tied firmly with wire to the trap so the rat would have to tug. One intelligent woman got sick of them gently lifting the sunflower seeds off the trap without tripping it, so she super-glued them onto the trap, and it worked.

Everyone agreed rats go into the engines and chew wires under the hood of cars parked outside, it's serious property damage from the rodents. And ones that go into homes cause serious health risks and property damage to the structure. We had them inside the walls of the old townhome we lived in. All the neighbors had them and the homes were connected so there was no way to exclude everything off. I used to always keep a set trap in their favorite spot under the master bathroom sink. I felt it was better to trap the ones where it was easy than to seal it off and risk more of them chewing holes someplace else.  I'll never forget the horror when one day one was scratching around behind a kitchen cupboard trying to get in. I stapled metal mesh over that spot. One also chewed around the downstairs bathroom fan, and I blocked that one with foam.

There's the concern that the food we raise for ourselves attracts them. The grapes, the tomatoes, the fruit trees. The pet food outside attracts them too. The poison makes them thirsty, so they come drink out of swimming pools and fountains. My dad used to sit outside with his gun on summer nights and shoot them off the fence. A friend of mine who lived once in my town did that at his home two freeway exits away, and he got twenty-two in one night, right in his back yard.

This isn't how Gaia wants any creature to live. Everything has a right to a place to live its own life. Animals need habitat. Humans do too. There has to be a balance. One day, the equation will even itself out, and there will be food for all, room for all, and no taking and opportunism like there is today.

Let's take this up one level to the realm of Spirit.  Believe it or not, a total war for souls has been going on right under our noses. 

Long story short, the strongest vibration wins.

Thoughts are things, and the battlefield is the human mind, which is linked to our ability to co-create with Creator of All That Is. 

I watched the new SNL and the rerun of last year's season opener with Kanye. There's a lot of sophisticated stuff going on there under the guise of humor. It's through the appeal of being 'cool' and 'informed'. 

Chevy Chase knew back in the day when he was making fun of then president Gerald Ford that his 'reach' was powerful. 

Now they have weaponized it. TWDNHOBIAH have put so much into entertainment. When I see the football games Anthony watches, I see how it plays out to the seven-year old level of mental and emotional development that 'rules are good and life is fair'. It helps people believe life is good. You know, the best win. They like to align themselves with that. 

I saw a terrible hit against a player, not sure if it's Philadelphia or Green Bay, I think it was Philly. Someone on his own team hit him from the side with the helmet. As a former surgical resident who did two years of trauma rotations, I could see the way the head stretched to the right and snapped back it was causing a serious injury. And the player was motionless on the field. Breathing, talking, My guess is perhaps a C7 or T1, I could be wrong. But he was carted off the field, with players kneeling and everyone clapping. For the viewers, the injured player was being sent to medical care so everything was okay. But for me, and my training, that's surgery, and rehab, and never being able to play again. Maybe never being able to walk or live independently. That's a price that's too high to pay for any sport. 

Add to this the sophistication of the spiritual knowledge, a whole other layer. For the energy of the group. For how rituals work, how sacrifice energy works. 

It's murky at best and very dark, very very dark to know there are adepts who are working with this kind of energy on a grand scale. 

That's why Ross and I have this photo for you. Look at the background. Checkerboard. Black is white and white is black philosophy, if you will.  Now look at the stars. No two are totally alike. You can barely see the checkerboard compared to them. They are beautiful, and lovely, and a delight to behold. They are organized together in a regular grid pattern, able to help one another as a team to lift each other up and even increase the total energy of the whole. 

These stars are you. They are you, where you are, and your connections with other like-minded souls are effectively obscuring the background. You are doing your job right where you are, and if you like, you can increase your intensity all the more by thinking good thoughts, eating clean foods, getting fresh air and sunshine, doing things you enjoy that don't involve social media/TV/movies/music --you know, getting out in Nature--and helping to make everything around you the best you can. I cleaned a kitchen counter yesterday. It makes a huge difference in the energy of our home to get all that old mail and receipts off it. 

Be You. Be the You-est YOU that you can be. Expect for the best. And keep telling yourselves 'this or something better'. 

It will be so. 

Ross

Anthony is healthy. Carla felt better on Friday when she worked on her call shift. Yesterday they ran errands and I was with them. I had Carla take Anthony out to eat for Mexican food at a proper restaurant, not a taco stand, to celebrate this new phase in both of their lives.

The new work schedule has come out for the months to the end of the year, October, November, and December. Carla is working half time on it--last she heard she was full time, no one said anything to her about the changes--and yet Carla has more O.R. calls than anybody in the department! It's 'all or nothing'.

At first Carla was concerned about her income. But in her heart, this is EXACTLY what she wanted to manifest. A time for her to enjoy her home and family, and for cutting back, to slow down, and to clear the house and set back up her office to continue her healing work with me, as an outreach.

The loan is going through, the refinance, which is going to bring her monthly house payments down to something more sustainable than they actually are.

Carla is wanting to buy chickens to have her own eggs.

At the store while going shopping, Carla was appalled at the prices. At one store, there was bacon going for ten dollars a pound (the going rate is six) and also for mayonnaise, the vegenaise the clean one was going for ten dollars a jar. Carla thought perhaps she could make her own mayonnaise, they hardly ever use it, mostly for making the BLT sandwich, that's it. We are not a big mayonnaise family!

Carla has an eye to both worlds, on earth and in Spirit, but she also has an eye to manage the home. She's done well through two marriages and now life as a single mother, and she knows what to expect. The prices over Anthony's brief lifetime have been creeping up tremendously. Dinner for two once used to be twenty dollars now it's twice that. Including tip, it's a lot of work at the helm to clock in enough time to pay for a breather from her hectic life by not having to cook dinner in the kitchen.

I want you to keep your eyes open like my wife. Look and see what the master manipulators are doing to the common human condition--the rising rents, the price of health care, the traffic, the pollution, the food supply, what happens to the bees--all of it is unsustainable. Think to yourself what you can do to help restore balance both in body, mind and spirit around you. Do not go full force into becoming what is known as a 'doomsday prepper' but try to keep in mind your resources you need both of time and talent--to live a better life, one which is in balance, and ready yourself, take the steps needed to restore balance. Even with little steps.

As an example, the it has been raining the past few days, not a downpour, a sprinkle, but Carla is content. She knows her roof is in top shape, she paid well for it, planning in advance for herself and for her family for when winter, the wet season comes. To boot she has both of her fireplaces ready, all cleaned by the chimney sweep, all she needs is wood.

There is great joy and self-love in such preparation for one's earthly needs. The planning, the ability to think ahead.

And add to this, another level, to the realm of Spirit? The preparation for this brings eternal joy and contentment!

Here is one more lesson for you:  https://johnsmallman2.wordpress.com/2019/09/28/love-of-a-magnitude-never-before-experienced-in-human-form-fills-each-ones-heart/

It is with our love for you that we both share it.





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Aloha and mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Twins

Enjoy The Show

Thank you rat.

Thank you to the literal ones, around the house.

Thank you to the figurative ones who helped set us free.

Thank you for growth and lessons, which is the way of eternal life and life which is incarnate.

Thank you.


Ross and I had our concerns about a certain platform. We felt torn. We have our connections, our star family, our relationships which arose and flourished on this platform.  But many a wise one has left the platform altogether. What can we do? What action will serve the highest good?

Every rat has symbolized someone who was taking advantage, the message ever since the first one at my old house is, 'you are free from someone who was taking advantage of you'. That's what rats do, they are opportunistic.  Usually it's been like a boyfriend I needed to break up with, something like that. There's a lesson with each one. And perhaps the latest one is that people just can't read what really happens. There's repercussions. Now we are free from fear of that kind of SEN-sore-ship. What's done is done. There was no warning, no letter, no anything. One fell swoop every link to this blog vanished on every connection including instagram. Just like that.

Does it ever make you wonder why in this day and age nothing goes viral. Not like it used to. The only thing that did was a Popeye Chicken Sandwich. That's how much the flow of information is controlled in every way.

California has a rat problem. Angel stadium was once infested with them, and they had to change to clean up every night immediately after the game. It couldn't wait until morning. Because it made the front page of the news. Rats were even running free inside the kitchens!

For us, I've known for a while I wasn't escaping the rat problem of the old house about a mile and a half away. And I know dad taught me the skills to take care of it. Unpleasant as it is, I've accepted my role as a trapper. And I call myself a Shrute because sometimes in life you need to tap into that part of your soul to protect your family. I had bought some time ago many traps. Now instead of just two or three, I've set them all around the perimeter of the house. Every morning I go check them. Our attic when we moved in was full of their old poop and nests and skeletons. It cost over four thousand dollars, three men working all day for two days--to clean up their mess. Even though the workers say it's sealed off for rats up there, I don't want them to look for other places around here to set up house.

It was 'aggressive' I think, the word that was used to describe this blog link--to any of them. On Instagram I couldn't post until I removed the link. How odd.  Now we can't post to where we used to post. But it's okay. We are here. And everything happens for a reason. Ross always says that...

Gaia unleashed the energy of change. It's the chaos that comes with a new era. She was tired of the slow and steady progress. Once she found it, she acted upon it, after very deep and close reflection. It's working and it can't be taken back. Gaia's way is one of surprise and natural power, in the earth plane. She is capable of much more than rat and she has been chomping at the bit for a long time. Like a dog with fleas she is longing to shake them off of her. Although it has been contained and constrained she has given a clear signal of GO. Proceed. Wrap this up. Get the show on the road. Don't look back. And in Spirit, well, everything has a reason. Gaia wants to be free. Like, really free, the BIG free, as in, her original blueprints and design unfettered by 'interference' from TWDNHOBIAH.

This or something better.

We want you to keep saying this to yourselves. About everything.

There will be more ways to share and keep close without that old platform. : )))

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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Twins

Simplicity Is Bliss

I have been sick again with a virus. Muscles ache. Feeling super sleepy, even more sleepy than I was in my first trimester in pregnancy. I fell asleep sitting up watching The Office with Anthony and also in between cases in a cardiac chair. (cardiac chairs are like hospitalized recliners).

I took a two hour nap today.

I was going to write a big article about how illness is a gift and a blessing. It helps you see through the Illusion and helps you slow down and focus on what's important. It shows you how much your loved ones care, and how little some people you once thought care, really care...who your true friends are. When I was growing up and sick all the time it got me out of school and into where my career would be, it sparked an interest. If the goal of curing the common cold and the flu happens, then we are virtual slaves, never being able to take time for ourselves to fill up on a little much needed Yin energy. Everything is yang-yang-yang, go-go-go.

But I won't write more than that.

I will write two very important things.

My environment is toxic at work. I know it. I tried to call in sick on Tuesday, I couldn't--the one person available was taken by the on-call person the night before. I came home and cooked dinner. Not sure how I did it. I peeled all the apples, half of our harvest, and made applesauce. Unsweetened. I cooked pork chops and served them with the applesauce, and bread and butter. Simple. I also made apple juice from our harvest too. It was delicious. We have a canister and charger cartridges for making whipped cream at home.It's the same price, except we use organic heavy cream now. And we have less trash metal cans.  Anthony made a batch. We topped a little extra applesauce with it, and I put sprinkles like snowflake shape ones on it for dessert. He was delighted, and it was very low sugar.

I got someone to take my backup call today, and told my boss I am sick, I need rest, please take this into consideration when making the schedule.  Today I got to leave by noon. I still had to work, but I found my voice.

I wanted Souplantation. I picked up Anthony and we got salad and chicken soup. He is worse. I took a two hour nap. So did he, and he never naps. Ever. Not even when he's a little bit sick. He's really sick. I woke up drenched in sweat. And then I got my strength and took him back to the doctor. It's a virus, he misses the rest of the week but it's not flu. They tested. His asthma needs control.

Tomorrow I work. I asked for the time off, I had a trade negotiated. We have one partner anesthesiologist in China, another it's his week not to work, and I think a third has left to take her boards and she's just 'off the schedule'--no vacation granted, nothing. So everyone moves up a call. My trade has it worse. Her mom is losing her vision after a problem during cataract surgery. Her mom needs a shot of steroids in the eye and she was supposed to take her at one in the afternoon. Now she can't.

I am familiar with the concepts of Alanon. These are the loved ones of alcoholics, and Alanon is the sister support system, a twelve-step program kind of like AA. We are codependents. What I learned is that happiness and having the life you want can happen even if your loved one is actively drinking.

Your happiness does not depend on their illness.

Your limits you decide to set, and your own life you choose to live for yourself--in relationship with the alcoholic or not--decide your own happiness.

On the drive home, I was so sad. I'm a doctor, I can't take care of my sick kid, or my sick me. I have bills to pay. Big ones. Every month. Your head would explode if you knew just how much I have to pay in bills and taxes just to keep us going. I asked Ross for help. And he answered. Not with words, but I sensed how I had given up on a new home, and somehow we stumbled our way here.  I'll stumble my way into better working conditions. I remembered how our happiness comes from ourselves, too, and even in a toxic work environment we can live the best life we can, until it's time to go.

At the start of this month, I did a video chat healing session and a reading. I felt so fulfilled, like I was using my gifts to help ease suffering--with Ross and me working like a team. I was so happy and I can't wait to do something like this again. The energy exchange helped. It covered both mine and Anthony's medicines today. It will help us breathe, and decrease our suffering too. It's a win-win.

The other thing Ross said, which was helpful, was basically, 'as long as we are in this situation, let's have fun with it.' (him not incarnate, me incarnate).

I said yes.  We might as well. I have no clue how one here one there can be any kind of fun whatsoever...but if anyone can find a way, it's him.

Now I'd like to share something that touched my core, and resonated strongly:

This is where I've lived my life ever since I decided to go to medical school.  Sheer survival. Socializing is a luxury. So is free time. I think so many people due to the economy have been pushed to the limit. It's kind of easier to control humanity if they are hungry and tired and sick. We need more Yin. Yin will heal everything. Yin is another name for the Divine Feminine energy. We need balance between the crisp, clean, HEALTHY Divine Masculine energy (there's a lot of toxic hyper aggressive imbalanced male energy out there now. Galactic Masculine energy is the balanced kind) and HEALTHY Divine Feminine energy.

This will come. In time.



Ross

Everything happens for the best.

Good night.

All is well.



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Twin Souls 

Today's Updates

Yesterday I was humiliated in front of my peers. And I also had to call for help in the Operating Room. These were over two separate patients, not one.

When something is gravely wrong in the O.R., when patient life is at risk, we are trained to call for help. Skilled hands. Another anesthesiologist. Clinically, things were not so good, they were fixable, and I was actively working to fix the things. But I don't like to gamble. So I called for help to back me up as plan B if my plan A I was implementing failed.  Plan A worked. So my colleague was like 'you can fix this!' and my nurse, bless her, had brought the gurney to the room. When the patient is on their tummy you can't do chest compressions. So you have to flip them after you quickly cover the wound. I was gladly able to let the gurney leave the room. Everything else turned out fine. For me, this usually happens when someone pulls on the peritoneum or another structure that causes the heart rate too slow. It's a reflex.

If you've ever heard of anesthesia being described as long stretches of boredom interrupted by moments of sheer terror, that's what a moment of sheer terror looks like. My training kicks in. But I'm shaking as I'm doing it.

One of those and your nerves are depleted for the rest of the day. Every ounce of cortisol and norepinephrine is used up from your reserves. It will take a day for it to build up.

My humiliation was how a surgeon spoke from the ego when I gave my clinical recommendation that there was going to be a delay for technical reasons, difficult i.v. access. He said, 'I just want to operate, put in a central line'. The only time we put these in awake is in the heart room, and in this case there was a language barrier. We don't put them in in pre-op. And not for prone cases.

The i.v. from the floor infiltrated. The i.v. fluid swelled up the arm instead of going into the vein. The patient looked like Popeye. Fortunately, the PICC line nurse finally arrived. He has an ultrasound machine. He was once my patient. I explained there is risk of blood loss, the arms will be tucked, and I need a really good i.v.

He gave me two. He also offered me an arterial line but I told him I can do it in the O.R. I used the ultrasound for that and I did. I commented on how mean the surgeon was to me, how I couldn't believe it. And when I took the patient, the nurse patted me on the back. He understood.

I explained to the physician assistant, that sometimes it's easy to be careless and bad things can happen. Bad things can happen anyhow, but with some patients, they need a little more care and time for the preparation just in case something can go wrong. I even had the crash cart in the room with the pacing pads connected on the patient because some pacemakers can't handle the electricity used in surgery. Most newer ones are okay. But some old ones are very sensitive (by the way if you have hearing aids, their circuitry is delicate, and it can't handle it. That's why we take them out. Hearing aids are expensive!)

The last blow was when I came home from work, right as I pulled into the driveway, I was called back in to do a case. It would be an hour to turn back. I called my colleague who had just finished a case and was also going home. I offered to drive in but if he was closer could he please start it?

He generously offered to do the whole case.

This was good because after having a blast at homecoming, Anthony was now sick. Sore throat, headache, muscle aches.

It's viral, clearly.

But now with the public school a doctor's note is needed to explain absences.

It took two hours.

It totally ruined my night.

And now I'm sick. I ache everywhere. I asked a colleague to cover for me but she hasn't called me back.

I have a short day, but I have to work and leave Anthony home to care for himself.

My heart was breaking because I have absolutely no control over my schedule. And as a parent, it's even worse because I come home from the stress, I need to relax, and I get even more stress. I wanted to cook and we had to eat out at the restaurant next to the urgent care because it was late.

I wanted to go to sleep all day long, but I had to stay up because Anthony wanted to watch The Office and be with his mom. (that's how I got sick, he gets clingy when he's sick, I do the same thing when it's the flu). I went to bed at ten thirty.

Was I loving to all when the near-tragedy was averted in the Operating Room? Yes.

Was I loving and turning the other cheek to the mean surgeon? Yes. I sensed he just didn't understand the complexity of the patient, and wanted me to not feel limited and to just raise the level of care. I don't think he's ever put in a central line. (I wasn't happy, but I wasn't mean or fighting back)

Was I loving and kind to Anthony? yes

And was I professional and responsible to the charge nurse of the O.R. when I got called in? Yes. I explained the nature of the delay due to traffic I anticipated, and found a closer anesthesiologist to do the case.

Am I tired and worn out?

Yes.

Do I have lots of little forms to fill out for the Swim Team and my refi and stuff? Yes.  Do I hate forms like that more than anything? Yes. Have I put it off for some time? Because Anthony needed me for two nights. Yes.

What can you do?

It is what it is.

And I give Reiki to myself for sure.

My pool is less green. I put two magic erasers in and switched them out for another. I also have lots of chlorine in the pool. I'm ready to give up on it.

The fly sticks are working a miracle. The lady on YouTube showed me how to use them. You put a little wine -- I used apple cider vinegar-- in the bottom tray. They are made by Black Flag. No rats came into the traps last night. And I'm doing the best I can with the housework.

I need a wife.

I'd much rather be the wife, though. I love all things pertaining to the home.

Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I signed up for this life.

Sometimes it takes everything I have to get through my day. And I will. I've done this countless times before, going to work sick.

I am resilient.

I have Ross. He's helping but I can barely hear him. Therefore this must be a test. Tomorrow is a long day. I'll see if I can trade calls with someone for tomorrow.





I can't hear Ross. He's just giving me a hug. I can feel him. And he waves bye. He's not smiling but his face is pleasant. He's not mad for sure.



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

Sphere of Influence

Today I walked the Susan G K...m walk for a cure.

I saw something today I never thought I would experience.

I've been working with my friend Dr. Kelly...she's amazing and wonderful. I've been working very closely with her supporting her in Spirit. She's come a long way. And she's actually very insightful, and in my opinion, intuitive. She has the gift. She's always had it. But just is coming to terms with it.

She's an incredible wife and mother. Her three sons tower over everyone. Her husband is tall, and they take after him in the height department.

I was surprised today to learn she has four dogs.

A long time ago, she amazed me with her courage. She said every day she wakes up, she knows that someone is going to get mad at her that day. She just doesn't know who yet. But she knows. And she keeps on going. I have utmost respect for her, clinically, professionally, and as a friend.

What I didn't see, is how many connections Kelly has to others. How big her sphere of influence is.

Today on her team, there were over sixty people walking. From our work. And from other places she knows, neighbors, other things. We had a lady physician who had just had surgery for recurrence who still had the drains in who sat at our booth while we walked.

And each of those sixty lives, touches countless others.

Ross said it's like the branches of a tree. Even though it may not appear to us we are doing much of anything, we are all plugged into Source, Divine Creator of All That Is, and we are more or less being loving in every situation that arises. Since we are consistently so, we are like the branches closer to the trunk. This energy is going to the next branches, who are supporting the leaves.

It's really beautiful.


What are my thoughts about the walk?

I know many who have experienced breast cancer. It is out of respect for their journey I will keep it to one simple point:  do not let this beautiful energy of the walk be only for one day.  Sustain it. Keep the love flowing for those who have had the disease, who are fighting it, and who succumb. And their families. Every day ask with your heart for Creator to give us an end to the suffering. For people to be whole. And for joy to be shared as it was meant to be shared.  It doesn't have to be this way. It's not like this back Home in Heaven. Let us bring Heaven to earth as quickly as possible so disease, all disease, especially breast cancer, will go away forever.

Thank you.

Today otherwise, was a difficult day.

I did something no mom should have to do.

Yesterday we checked our rat traps outside. We noticed that the carcasses from the Japanese Beetles were taken behind the air conditioner unit outside, and eaten. So we set them. And one was caught by the left front limb.  It was trapped, but alive. I could tell because like a horse, it's ears turned to listen to us.

We didn't know what to do. So we left it. And today after Anthony's ball game, we saw it was still alive. Breathing hard. Twitching. Covered with flies.

We didn't want to let it get loose. I put an empty flower pot on the tail, and a rock on the trap so it couldn't crawl away.  Anthony kept saying to shoot it it's the only kind thing to do (too many action movies, huh?). He thought to stab it. I thought to drown it. I've heard of setting them on fire but that seemed cruel.

Ross said to kill it.

I remembered I've killed a stray rat that escaped the snake feeding by putting the little carrier cage on it, but I missed and broke its back. I'm sure Ross provided the memory. So I got a shovel. I went to break its neck, but I missed, and broke it's back. It shrieked. That terrified Anthony. It was blood curdling I agree. But I had to finish the job. I got a second shovel and crushed the skull. It stopped moving. It stopped suffering.

The Japanese beetles are all over the tree again. I don't want to spray our crop with pesticides.

The fruit flies are a complete and total infestation in the kitchen from our produce--two crates of apples and lots of tomatoes.

I turned over the compost, and the grubs were the grubs for the Japanese beetles. I fed them to the turtle. She was happy. They were like spaghetti for her.

The pool is green again. The chlorine was gone due to the hot weather. My magic eraser sponge was green. I put two new ones in and a gallon of chlorine.

I'm so tired of the disharmony in Nature where I live. Where are the snakes and the coyotes to keep the rats in check? We have many hawks and owls but clearly not enough. Where are the natural bodies of water that clean themselves? Where is the balance where people can work and play and be creative and visit loved ones?

I want it all back.

But for now? I'm ordering a pizza and making a salad. I've seen enough, done enough.  I want to think of the beautiful energy of the walk, with people honoring people they love, and others supporting the walkers with water, music, even Japanese Taiko drumming--a whole team of them.  I realized just how much our loved ones who are in Spirit are encouraging us.  We must take the good with the bad. And even though I know the algae, the grubs, the Japanese Beetles and the rats are metaphors for the low vibration entities in Spirit and TWDNHOBIAH that plague everything we can imagine and even things we can't imagine--this too shall pass. One way or the other. And I will be so glad no matter what when it is done.

Time to shower.

This is early because I am scheduled to work early and a lot tomorrow.

xoxoxox



Clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

Reversal

This is me after six hours sleep. It’s almost noon. Yesterday I was up twenty-three hours straight. 

It is what it is. With my specialty, I have to take my turn to be on call. It was a busy night. I did my very best with all of my patients, and everyone did very well after their surgery. I was able to eat, breakfast, mid morning snack (half a burrito, a breakfast burrito brought in by a vendor), lunch (free veggie burger from a corporate event at work), dinner (my lunch I packed, leftover Japanese curry), snack (a ripe peach)...and a tiny piece of blue and white cake to celebrate Surgical Technologist week.

I need to survive. So I work. 

I enjoy being a ‘presence’ in the workplace, where I am known as a healer, psychic, medium, physician, and kind soul. 

Some highlights were:

• Being in the newly remodeled ER, seeing a glass, thick glass ‘windshield’ on a counter by the computer workstation, and asking my friend the ER doc if it was bulletproof? No, it wasn’t but it does block the sound. It’s harder for him to talk to people because of it.
• Doing ‘tag team’ Reiki on not one but two patients during surgery with my Reiki 2 student who was circulating RN for those cases. The whole room felt lighter each time.
• If I could show you the video I would, but I can’t figure out how to put it in here. Yesterday at the BBQ the hospital administration decided to be ‘healthy’. There were four coolers of drinks, and at the food truck you saw sodas (soda pop) in the window. But the coolers only held bottled water. You could see people looking in each one, to find the soda. Where’s the soda? I did the same thing. You see, it’s a classic meal, burger, fries, cola. It goes together. We had chips instead of fries. And bottled water. Some people walked away with no drink they were so unable to enjoy the burger with water. It was a truly humorous time, and the entire table I was at were OR people. We laughed very much.

This is reversal. Neostigmine. I give it at the end of a case to reverse any residual muscle relaxant (a drug that completely paralyzes the muscle, not the one you take for back pain). I have to give it with anticholinergic —glycopyrrolate— because neostigmine alone can slow the heart.

If you had a magic bottle of ‘revesal’ that could undo anything from your past, any fear that kept you paralyzed, any harsh words spoken that you regret either having said or heard, any dream you let perish, would you use it?

What if that reversal already exists, and it’s in your power to use at any time? And it’s not for sale, it’s not in a bottle?

It’s unconditional love.

Heaven has it by the five gallon bucket!

You have it too. 

It is your birthright.

So next time you meditate, draw up the reversal, and perhaps the ‘glyco’To give first with it is a little sense of humor. After all, we are human. And humans are imperfectly perfect, it’s the way we are made.

Ross

The iPad is flashing back and forth again with every keystroke. We are very near the end. What I would like to add is the equivalent of ‘reversal’ for others with whom we interact is Love and Kindness. When you wish to ‘do over’ something terrible that happened in your mutual past, apply generous amounts of love and kindness to the both of you. Open the heart, and let trust in. 

There is someone at school who wants to do harm to Anthony. This person has it in them. This person is a woman, a young woman. And was starting to exert their influence. 

What will we say?

She is an angel of the highest order. And her parents are tantamount to saints for loving others. 

This is true.

And in the end when all is said and done, her actions, will only strengthen Anthony. And the actions of the parents and the girl will only strengthen Carla in her resolve to be loving in all circumstances.

Is it pleasant? No.

Is Carla worried perhaps about tonight’s Homecoming Dance? Somewhat. Anything can happen to our son outside the home. That is what the home is for. 

Does Anthony have a problem with his size? Has he been a target for bullying in the past? Yes. Did he threaten suicide for it when he was nine? Yes. Does everyone including the girl and her family remember this? Yes. 

Is he especially a target by those who read here and use these words against him and my wife?

Yes.

And to all those who are mentioned, and are in the same league or set of circumstances as those who are mentioned, ultimately you and your actions are going to have to answer to me. And I am not incarnate.

I can be anywhere, any time, to love and protect my family.

I see inside of your heart. I know your deepest secrets without your telling me. And I shall pierce your heart’s thick crusty shell from being incarnate, and offer you my unconditional love which is exceptionally strong, my forgiveness, which is priceless, and let you decide your karma and judgement for yourself in your Life Review. 

Everyone comes to me.

There are no exceptions.

Clap! Clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

peace,

Ross and Carla

The Family