Death Healing A Very Old Soul Wound

 

When I was  about four, one of my favorite things to do was to pour salt on garden snails. I liked to watch them fizz. Daddy couldn't watch. I didn't know why. I didn't understand that the snails were screaming as they were dying. I only thought the bubbles were very fascinating. 

I had seen hunting growing up. My uncle shot a rabbit at the desert with his pistol. It wasn't a clean hit, it broke a leg, but it kept running. We had to follow it and put it out of its misery. My uncle showed me how the fur was full of fleas and it had been suffering even before it was shot. I was sad.

At the same desert, there were pack rats. Once, while exploring an abandoned house, my uncle saw one run under a piece of wood and stomped on it. It died. Its eyes were protruding, which again, I thought was fascinating. I even took a picture of it. 

My paternal grandfather had a stroke. It was sudden and there was irreversible damage from the bleeding in his head. My father and his siblings had to decide with his wife to 'pull the plug'. At the Rosary I was asked to lead the people in attendance. It was my first time at a funeral, my first time up at the lectern at church, and my first time saying the Rosary. I felt a power I had never felt coursing through me as I said the words aloud from the page in front of me. Everyone in the family said how much it helped them feel better to say the Rosary together.  It was my first time experiencing the power of the Other Side. 

My maternal grandfather said goodbye to me in spirit. I had bought a baseball cap for him from my Medical School. Spirit had said he won't wear it, don't buy it for him. But I was stubborn and I bought it anyway. When I went to visit at Thanksgiving he gave me a care package like usual. Inside was a jar of apricot fruit spread that was too expensive for me to buy. I had actually picked up the same jar at the store and put it back because I couldn't afford it. He had written a note: Ciao, Ciao, Ciao.

My heart skipped a beat. He acknowledged earth, spirit and heaven with the three words. He was saying goodbye to me, and I understood his time was short. I ran and threw myself on the bed, sobbing hysterically, and yelling at Blessed Mother and Heaven for not letting me say a goodbye to HIM! I had faithfully taken messages from them for about six months. Gently, Blessed Mother helped me understand that he wanted to say goodbye in his own way. I quieted down and cried with early grief. 

But after careful phone calls and caution, normalcy returned. I focused on my studies. One day I got the call that Nannu was not doing well, he was at the hospital, and had died. This was after a morning spent going roller skating with friends and feeling something was terribly wrong but I could not put my finger on it. My father and brother in law drove down to pick me up. I spent the night at my grandparent's house, and on the couch his Spirit came to me. He said words in Sicilian and I wrote them down. I didn't understand them. It turned out he said that my uncle's girlfriend/wife had disrespected him. He had forbid her to go to the house. But my uncle married her anyway. (He was right, she was after my uncle's money. This was my first experience with mediumship.)

When my father passed, I was there. And he gave me a message that he was seeing Heaven. He blinked his eyes slowly and moved his head from left to right as if he was seeing a panorama. When the chaplain anointed him, I saw it too! The whiter than White Castle gates of heaven, with bricks and a drawbridge. Some tall, fierce military type angels accompanied him over the bridge. He didn't say goodbye except for that message. The next day I woke up and felt lips on mine, even though I live alone. It frightened me. It was my father saying goodbye. 

I saw him at the funeral, up in the rafters, watching the family and his send off. 

But I didn't get to grieve. The day after he passed, and he had passed around eight p.m., I had my first day at a new job. I didn't want them to think I was unstable. I kept it to myself. Once the funeral was planned I requested the day off, and it was given, and the team was very supportive. Actually my new boss was like a father figure to me, and I appreciated it very much.

My Nana Angelina was my closest family member. I was there when she passed. I got to help her walk up the ramp to the entry place, up to where I couldn't go any more. I saw her very young, healthy, delighted to be out of her body. I saw who met her, and the big party to welcome her. 

Sadly, the woman who was covering me on my OB shift wanted me to go relieve her. She had been there all day. My grandmother passed at six p.m. and by eight I was back on call doing epidurals. I couldn't grieve.  When my mom passed, I was there. I had to work the next day. And I was literally in shock, I couldn't even eat. But a friend sent food, enough to feed us for a week so I wouldn't have to cook.

When Anthony was a newborn, my African Fat-Tailed gecko Pink Floyd had gotten very skinny and not been interested in food. He died. I felt so guilty for not being able to save him! Even though spirit said it was time, I regretted that death for at least twenty years. 

My son dreamed of our pet rabbit saying goodbye to him about three weeks ago. He told me. He also refused to spend the night at our house that day, because he was afraid to wake up with her dead. 

She was a rescue. Someone gave her up because she was very aggressive and hurt the other rabbits instead of bonding with them. We did not like each other at the beginning, although my son was thrilled to have her. He had two dogs, boxers, with his father, but with my schedule dog ownership was impossible. He loved rabbits. She stayed near him while he was downstairs playing his video games. On my long shifts where he had to stay home alone, she was his companion. 

She loved bananas. She grew to trust me. And I fell in love with her. Did she ever need care, too! She couldn't clean herself and got urine scalds and poopy butt. The veterinarian said it was from her being overweight. But also, I think the people who spayed her messed up her plumbing down there. Once a week I had to do 'fecal floatation' and when it got very bad, give her medicine, critical care feedings, and wound care. This is eleven years of perineal care for a rabbit. 

I was not surprised by Anthony's disclosure.

I had seen her lying on her side with the eyes that don't see, and I said, 'NO!' and she woke up. This happened shortly before her dream. She was ready to die. I would not let her.

Then on October 10, while I was cooking, I heard banging in her cage. Loud. I looked and she was having a seizure! I soothed her and once it finished helped her stand back up. I asked for a Reiki Request for her, and really, for me too. I was not ready to let her go. 

For the next seventeen days, she ate normally. She didn't groom the rest of her like normal, her fur looked a little ragged, but she was happy. When I brushed her and then changed her cage, Spirit told me that was the last time I was going to be changing it. 

Again, I was in denial. Both for spirit and for her. I was thinking that perhaps she was going to cheat death? Maybe live another two years as a senior? I enjoyed spending time near her, folding clothes. I didn't want to say goodbye. 

On Tuesday, October 27, I was shocked to see she had made a mess in her new cage (I had just changed the litter again). All the layers were mixed up in a jumble! And also, she couldn't stand up. I picked her up like before to get her on her feet, and they wouldn't hold her. I understood her time was near. I didn't want it, but the doctor part of me understood. And the sounds from the night before that made me think she was rearranging her cage was actually her trying to get up but I didn't understand. 

My heart ached. I was in the kitchen getting ready for work with my usual routine. I saw her perk up her ears and lift her head to make eye contact with me across the room. That was my goodbye and I love you from her.

At the very last possible minute, I stroked her, said goodbye, and told her to go to Jesus.  I apologized for having to go. Weeks earlier she had told me 'not to cry'. And this time, she said, telepathically, 'I want you to go and take care of those cancer patients.'

So I did.

It was very hard.

I didn't want to go home that night. It was a late shift. 

I had told Anthony in the morning that she couldn't stand up. He made a point to go home a day early. 

During work, I saw Jesus holding the bunny. She looked happy in His arms. He took her little paw and waved it to me. That is when I knew she had passed. And even though she was alone at the time, I had full trust in Him and knew she was in the best possible care.

I also saw Her as the True Angel she was. I didn't catch her name. But she was a willowy, almost elf-like brunette and I understood she had completed her assignment and done well. She was very beautiful and ethereal in her True Form. 

I came home a little before he did. I kept the lights off, and listened for signs of life but I heard none. I didn't want to know. 

Anthony said she had passed. We found a box for her. I got her lavender towel, and placed it in the box. Gently, Anthony picked her up and placed her in the box. He let me pet her one last time, and he petted her soft fur. I picked a rose and placed it on her chest. I got holy water from the Mother Cabrini pilgrimage and sprinkled it on her. He dug a deep hole near the banana tree. He worked hard and sweated and had to rest two times. We buried her in the dark. He made the hole deep to protect her from the rats in the neighborhood. 

I have been in shock ever since.

I found a group online, for people whose rabbits have died. The founder of the group is extremely protective and supportive of the page. It has helped. 

Friends online have shared their condolences.

One friend, a physician, is posting daily content about his experiences losing his beloved husky, and how a new one found him who was even a better fit for his personality. I understand the caring and support. 

When Ross and I were alive the first time, he died and had me buried alive with him like in the opera Aida. We were religious and he was a leader. We did sacred things, and he didn't want anyone to have access to me. It was not a good way to die. But I understood. 

The second time, again he predeceased me. It was sudden. And I couldn't take care of his body with a proper burial. Although I lived, survival was really hard. I couldn't speak, I went mute. And there was a neighbor who would rape me when it rained because I couldn't be heard.  Despite my struggles, I was a midwife same as always. And I helped bring a wonderful soul into the world, a memorable one, who I would meet in the next life. I had done this the night my loving husband died. He had taken me to deliver the infant. We had been out after curfew. We were chased, we split up and they chased him. That is how he died. And how he died for me to live. 

The last time, we were prepared in a spiritual sense. Despite my grief, I had a job to do, and I did it. I prepared the body. 

His plan worked. 

So I was chased, hunted down like an animal. I continued his work, but they found us and destroyed everything. The wound festered and affected all of my subsequent incarnations. Including this one. 

When I lay down to sleep at night, I ask for comfort. I share how much I miss our pet. And I can feel her presence next to my chest, warm and soft, like in life. She is between us as we embrace, Ross and I. 

I tell him I trust Spirit, I trust the plan. How I am sad but I accept everything. And deep down, I know that there are things planned for the Highest Good.

For all my life before our bunny, I was devastated because my allergies made it impossible to have a soft, warm, loving pet like a cat or dog. I was very jealous and angry at God for making me like this. When the rabbit came into our lives, I knew it was meant to be. And I enjoyed the softness that didn't make me sneeze. Rabbits are NOT cuddly. They are prey creatures. But when I cleaned her, I got my snuggles in right before she went back into the cage. She tolerated me. On the last time, I told her mama loves you and gave her a kiss.  I am so glad she died in a clean cage.

Today was very hard. I had to throw out her medicines, to arrange to return her items I had ordered by subscription, and clean up her area for good. We had thrown away the cage. I took her crate on wheels that held her food (it says TREASURE) and I found another use for it. 

We have soul ties. 

When a loved one Transitions, the energy flow changes, although the ties remain intact. 

This causes a wound in the aura.

It has to heal. 

They say when you are depressed, help another. And I did.

Our great grandmother who has been on hospice for the year has taken a turn for the worse. She is in a hospital bed, and unable to swallow. 

When I found out I said I would visit if I had a short day. I actually did, but I was too emotionally vulnerable and energetically drained to go. But the next day, even after a fourteen hour shift, I went. And by example, I showed the family how to interact with the dying. To stroke the arm, to talk soothing, to be normal in my interactions. I reviewed the medicines. I suggested since changing the diaper is uncomfortable and upsetting for great grandmother, to give the sedative a little before. It was due anyway. 

The family was deeply comforted by my presence. And my knowledge of basic nursing techniques helped with the diaper change--I helped too. It is very sad about her imminent passing. Once already I have seen her, on spirit side, and she is on to me now, and let me know she knows who I am back Home. 

The rest is to let time take its course.

I share because everyone is our teacher. Every situation is designed to help us learn something important as a soul. But some lessons are very painful. It can need lifetime after lifetime to master them. I still have work to do with this lesson on loss. I have made tremendous progress, though. Both in learning to honor my need to grieve, and to make time for it whenever possible. I am sharing this lesson to help you on your learning, and if it is something you can apply to your life, then, it is good.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Dawn Is On The Way

 

I had a new experience in the awakening process which I believe is important to share. I have read every link through Cobra's Red Pill blogpost in July of 2012. I thought that by plugging into that and reading everything I could about TWDNHOBIAH I could help increase awareness.

I'll tell you that knowledge contained in the Red Pill hit me like a ton of bricks. It was really hard to grasp how everything, the symbolism, the deception, could be hidden in plain sight. Once I gathered my composure, I chose to fight. And fight I did for many years, blogging and doing online activities to help make a trail for others to follow. 

Thankfully a blessing from the whole thing were the people who gravitated together for this cause, real people online who formed our community Doctors with Reiki.

I went quiet for a while, it started almost funny because for the daily Reiki healings I would post, I ran out of cool pictures to post with them. There used to be pages I would follow where I would screenshot their images. I used travel photos like the one above that I took. I had already made it (programmed Reiki) so the healings would be sent at the same time, every day, to those who were followers who accepted it. But it was a nice thing to do and didn't take much time.

After that I started getting into some deep healing, personal healing, by going through my life experiences at the time. I had to be adrift for a while in order to find my way. Before I was going on a lot of spiritual guidance from Ross and my teams. There was an urgency to it. The urgency disappeared. 

I also had to transition to an empty nest. That part is not easy when you have been so invested in motherhood.

As I found my way, I was delighted to find an actual--several really--survivor of the abuse of TWDNHOBIAH who posted frequently online. This was someone who was born into it. I notice now there is a 'look' and I can recognize the similarities between others who are 'bloodline' and 'born into the system'.  I responded with caring, support, and many messages of 'I believe you'. 

Here is the point:  up until one post, it was always 'me' and 'them'--you know, the victims. 

My whole foundation, my grounding, my connection to my stability emotionally in this very messed up world that we live in, took a hit.

Both the victim/survivor and I had experienced sexual assault. Theirs was way worse than mine but mine had been bad enough to ruin my life when it comes to trusting people and bonding with a partner. Even with my Spiritual ones on the other side. I was okay with that part because I had been through years of counseling and done lots of work to heal it. I could tolerate the infrequent intrusive flashbacks of recall that were horrifying and upsetting. 

It was the other thing that 'they' had suffered--that I had too--terrible neglect in the pre-verbal years, being left in a crib for hours without food, water, or being changed. For them, it was the cult they were born into. For me, it was a babysitter who was drunk out of their minds for most of the day. A Hungarian woman named Carrie, who mom and dad paid extra for me to have good fresh milk from the dairy. Carrie had five kids--a lot of them--and was considered an experienced and 'good' mother. I was so desperate that the only thing that I found worked with that babysitter was learning Hungarian and speaking to her in her native language to get my needs met. And even then, it was not every time. My parents figured out the situation in time, and I was returned to the care of my own grandmother. No healing had taken place. 

It was undeniable.

Evil had touched me, personally, at an early age when I was completely defenseless. 

It was bad.

What happened to me was bad enough that it was the same as what happened to the survivor, and if we lived in a just and proper society the authorities would have intervened on each of our abuses and taken steps that it would never happen again to anyone else!

That threw me. 

Life was no longer 'me' and 'them'. 

Evil affects us all. 

We try to brush it aside, and say 'that's life'! Or when people do evil selfish things that we are aware of the evil ones gaslight us and say things like 'that's just business!'. 

You may think you are 'awake' like I thought I was. You may have your battle scars from life--most spiritually blessed people do have their share of surviving horrors. You may get by, and focus on the good. On things like love, and gratitude. You get times where everything is such a miracle of generosity from Creator and you can see it with your own eyes the gifts...

Since Evil is as pervasive as it is, as Lightworkers committed to the cause of our Team, be prepared and understand it is NORMAL to have an experience where you fully realize the impact interacting with evil has shaped your own life perception. 

Furthermore, in our existence, everyone pretty much is a victim and a survivor. 

This is where I see the biggest hurdle of Ascension and Awakening truly is:  when our eyes and our hearts open enough to realize that 'us' and 'them' no longer exists. We are all so incredibly vulnerable and innocent, and the evil we have been exposed to in life has hurt us so much that to survive we act with bravado and courage. But the pain is real. The sadness is heavy. And it takes time to assimilate our life lessons and accept that it could happen to anyone. And it already happened to most of us. There is no more comfort  to be had from our mental bubble we once had surrounding us. 

Then and only then can we know all of us are in this together, all of us are making progress forward for the cause, and when a particular 'wave' of awakening 'hits' the healthiest thing to do is to step back, to let it absorb...new strength will follow. Spiritual strength. 

Ascension is not linear. It comes in waves like at the beach. Sometimes it requires us to 'revisit' things, to 'circle' around another time through old experiences with newer, higher, awareness and square off with its healing on another level. We might even get knocked over onto our butt by the new awareness! That is totally expected and understood to be a part of the process. 

Forgive yourself for being human. 

You don't have to solve everything in one day.

You don't even have to understand why it is happening or the way it came up at the time. 

Accept it. Believe in yourself. It really happened. It really was that traumatic.  You are still here. There is a good reason for everything. And it is going to be okay. Give yourself the time you need. And graciously accept that some time when you least expect it, something else may come up and raise your awareness again.

Ross

Carla is delivering a Master Class on the Ascension Process. (he gives an image of a person being drawn up to Heaven). It isn't always 'quick' like that tractor beam pulling you up to the sky. It isn't like a huge 'flash' with a light bulb over your head. And it isn't like another magic spell going 'poof' and everything is reset back to a Heavenly Standard of society at the snap of a finger.

It is BETTER.

It is 'home grown'. It is 'organic' (speaking metaphysically). It is uniquely your own!

And I guarantee you, in no uncertain terms, it is WORTH IT!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

the couple

It Affects Everyone

 

Tonight I was watering the yard. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Almost transparent, not like this photograph above, was a column of flying gnats. There were so many! I squirted the hose at them to make them disperse. It didn't work. I tried again and again to ground those nasty insects. I had to give up. They moved a little higher but that was it. I am sure I killed some of them, but the sheer numbers of them and their instinct is what made me abandon efforts and walk away. 

It reminds me of TWDNHOBIAH. They are almost invisible, they are doing something together under the radar, and nearly impossible to make go away. 

Recently it was Alexandra Meador's birthday. I remember her husband Steven was in early October. Last I was in contact with them, things were not good. It was a difficult union and looked ready to dissolve. But I noticed I had not heard anything from Alexandra in a long time. GalacticConnection hasn't had anything in a long time. The website was gone. There was a YouTube of Alexandra in 2018 talking about how soon we would have everything reach Ascension. 

Steven hadn't posted anything either. 

I looked at the people who have passed--Sheldan Nidle (I recall), John Smallman, Dolores Cannon...Then there are people who have disappeared, or stopped posting because of the heat--The Black Child, Gaia Portal, Ron Head (he has slowed down)...times are different now, especially after 2020. I felt sad about this. Thankfully Creator Messages is every day. I  have slowed down too. 

What we are dealing with is a group, TWDNHOBIAH, who believe that abuse and MK Ultra type programming 'strengthen the individual'. They have a different playbook. They have mastered betrayal, torment, torture (physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, sexual). The repercussions are far-reaching.

Let us talk about a survivor of trafficking, Melissa Ryce, in Australia. The types of abuse she describes are horrifying. One of the worst to me was how she was kept in a holding building with other children, naked, no food, and they had to sleep on the floor. She knew and counseled a younger child (Melissa was five or six herself) to keep clean by braiding the hair and using the spit to clean the skin, and to smile. Because the people buying them would choose them. By being 'useful' she and the other girl were able to live. But the cross, unhappy, dirty children who were not chosen probably did not make it. 

While Melissa shares, her word goes out to others, mostly people who want to offer support like me, but also, to other survivors. They realize the injustice is worth talking about. Perhaps in the comment section. Perhaps to those close to them. Perhaps to create their own social media. 

Awareness grows.

Then we add to it movements like Tell Somebody. There people who were not raised in the system share their stories of being violated and abused. Many have written a book and promote it. But others are just trying their best to deal with a difficult situation they survived. The saddest one was a sister who didn't realize, nor did the mother, that the estranged father had been sexually abusing the boy in the darkest way on the weekend visits. The boy grew and committed suicide. It wasn't until going through his personal effects and journals, after a cousin who was also abused by the same abuser, tipped them off. The guilt they feel is endless. 

This is a ripple effect. 

As more people share, others who have been keeping secrets feel supported and safe enough to share. There is nothing to hide. My point is that those with 'weaponized trauma'--TWDNHOBIAH--are outnumbered by the 'everyday trauma'--domestic violence, child abuse, addiction, and I am sure there is more to mention but I can't think of it now. We also have trauma on a bigger scale, societal fear that is definitely non-accidental!

Everyone is traumatized in one way or another. Some a little more, others a little less, a few really really a lot. The gnats are not going to go away. The victims need to feel safe first. They need to feel listened to, cared about, and believed. Then they need time, plenty of time.

In my immediate life before this, I lived in a room with no windows. I never left it. I was a kitten--so mind controlled that when I looked in the mirror I saw a white kitten face, not a human. I was taught gently and steadily to perform what child prostitutes do. I ate from a bowl on the floor that had red jello like substance in it. I had a bowl of water too. I went to the bathroom in a litter box.  I slept on the floor on a little mat with no pillow or blankets. When I did well I was given toys, like a doll to play with. But also, there were many sex toys available to me and I used them. I suspect the room had a live stream in it for people who paid money. I could tell you more but I would rather not. It ended when a client who was in love with me choked me to death before I could finish puberty. As I floated up out of my body I looked down and thought 'what a pointless life that was!'

It wasn't. It was one of the most valuable ones because I experienced TWDNHOBIAH from the inside. From there, you don't know any better. They tell you what to do. And you are rewarded for doing it. If you mess up, they let you know and expect it not to happen again. You don't feel. You don't have feelings good or bad, because they were not developed, your emotions. You look at everything like a problem to solve, a situation to where you think how to best apply your skills. There is no guilt, there is no shame, and there is no pain because you are used to it. 

It took me a long time to heal from that. It affects you in a subsequent life. I am thankful to be healed. 

For another example, have my mother. She was born in war in Italy. They were starving. My grandmother went hungry so my mom and uncle could have food. Some food was odd, like sheep eyeballs and rats. Mom didn't know better, but she learned to like them. She would drink blood from animals that were butchered. As she came to America she realize she couldn't eat those things any more. Her earliest experiences were having to run to the nearby caves to escape the bombs, having her head shaved because of lice (they poured gasoline on her head), and crazy games like setting a rat's tail on fire to see it run real fast. 

I used to think that the influence was in the stories she told me about herself when I was little. But also, I was there, as an egg that was not yet formed completely. It affected her DNA and then in turn affected mine--the stress of war. A similar concept would be the grandparents who lived through the Great Depression and saved every penny and lived frugally. One way or another it affects the following generations. 

Ross

I will step in for a while. Carla is hungry and has waited for her dinner in order to write to you because it is important. 

I will simplify as Carla asks of me.

Remember our forefathers who did everything they could to live a good life, and to help you. 

I want you to go back through your ancestors, and settle on one who was Holy. Really truly a good soul who lived a good life no matter what the constraints. 

I invite you to look back on all that has darkened the DNA/lineage energetically along the descendants going all the way to you and your children. 

Open your heart.

Ask for the blessing and the Divine Intervention of your Holiest of Ancestors. You can go back to Abel if you feel that your lineage was compromised back in the early times. 

I want you to forgive yourself and those who hurt you. It has been one huge mess, with layers of trauma upon generations. One big ugly mess. 

And none of it is real! That is what I have been telling you for ages! For you are in a dimension where things like this can happen, but nowhere else in the universe is it possible! Earth life is the aberration, the nightmare or the dream depending on how you wish to call it.

Then let it go. Whether you think it was real or not, I invite you to separate yourself from it (do not keep mulling it over and over in your head like that's what he said and that's what I should have said, etc. etc.). 

Allow the rest of your life experience to cleanse you and uplift you. 

You are doing amazing, incredible things. I am so very proud of you for how far you have come. Not just for you, but for your entire string of ancestors.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos, 

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins and one of whom is hungry at the moment!

Coming Together

 

Good morning! 

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I am starting to see evidence of the process we have been in for most of my adult life, a process some people may call the 'awakening'.  It took a while for me to awaken even though there had been inklings of Truth here and there my whole life. It was Cobra's Red Pill that really launched my awareness of the things that are 'hidden in plain sight'. 

As I rose to my post, in my heart and in my mind, I wanted a fast, lightning like increase in awareness of everyone across the globe. I wanted use to leave this space and ultimately anchor heaven down to Earth.  STAT. 

Then it was like slogging through the mud, the waiting, the lack of a big event, the endless promises of something happening for the better. I lost the high levels of hope I once had. I became a black pill for a long time, but then again, hope in a thin layer was always present.  

To pass the time I kept my heart and mind working to learn more, to make connections, and to support those who are educating others. I kept watching videos and reading what I could, especially content from survivors. I have mentioned my favorites already this is not the point.

Yesterday I saw the first video, so succinct at explaining connections I had to watch it three times in a row. Here is the link. The information is dense, and yet exactly what glues together the teachings of Jessie Czebotar and the 'seals' of various cities. I had wondered why she goes to such lengths to explain the symbolism on them. They look harmless. When she ties things back to Ashteroth or Leviathan I was like, wow that is a stretch! No. It isn't. It is how they communicate contracts with spiritual beings who oversee Earth, and according to the man in the video, how they keep track of the royal bloodlines. He also explains why it is important. They want to keep the DNA of regular humans out, as well as build stronger fruits of their lineage.

That is when it occurred to me:  everyone speaking their truth, living their truth, is a testament to Divine Creator. It is moving forward towards the awakening. All of us. And it is so scattered and efficient that no amount of censorship could stop it. 

This is very relieving to me.

At the same time, I am sensing a 'frog in the pot of boiling water' trend with the technology. We are slowly moving away from a time where humans were in control of social and business interactions like when I was young. I knew the butcher, the pharmacist, the checkout lady at the grocery store and they knew me. What is a weakness in that system is that one can override the 'system' and 'bend the rules' when needed. 

That isn't the case at the new hospital parking lot. I work many places now, and one of them is very new. The other sister hospital has a parking office and you can go there to buy daily parking passes, or buy them online. Only I am having trouble finding the website. At the new hospital, you take a ticket, and when you leave, you must show the QR code to the scanner built into the post. Then you tap your credit card, and the boom goes up for you to pass. There are no humans anywhere! I suppose there is a push button to intercom for help, but even then, it is so cold, distant, and robotic. 

At the grocery store the other day I went before work, and it was too early for human cashiers. We had the clerk manning the four self-checkout machines. 

I am not sure if you have noticed but there are cameras everywhere. And according to a person posting about a lawsuit against a big theme park in the area, facial recognition technology is used not only at the entry gates but throughout the park. It monitors the biometric data, not only the face. It looks at your gait, your size, and location. The lawsuit says that it is sensitive information, like a password, and can't be stored or taken without consent. Only now the same park has signs up that say we are taking this. So entry equals agreement, right? 

I am watching these two trends weaving together, one of subtle control mechanisms like a trap being set, and the other of freedom and awareness. See if you can ferret out themes along these lines in your own life. Remember a lot of the survivors are risking their own lives to pass along this information. And be thankful that this information is still available on platforms.  Stay close to Creator, taking time to be one on one, soul to soul, heart to heart, for it will strengthen you. 2030 is less than five years away, and a lot of major planning is based on that--from both factions! Show time is on the way!!

Enjoy the show.

That is enough for today.

Clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The ones who love you unconditionally BIG HUGS

Like Fire and Stone

 

Some things are not what they seem.

There are many of us here who are observing ongoing current events with a watchful eye. 

We know that appearances are not the Truth. We also understand that Actions and Behavior are closer predictors of the actual Truth than listening to words.

Yet today, I have been invited to use words to describe a Truth that is the element in the room.  Even though we have been promised that once the actions and ways of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart are addressed by Spirit, it will seem as if it happened in an instant and has no lasting effect.

Au contraire!

For those who study, as in Historical Events, there is a lot to understand and interpret. We are talking about a system that has existed for millennia, passed down from generation to generation. These systems are interconnected and international, operating behind belief systems they do not even believe! They just use them to discredit the survivors and control them.  The psychology behind it is abhorrent but fascinating. And other realms, such as control of the masses, the establishment of financial systems and policy, even politics (and hidden ones who pull the strings on the puppets)--there is a lot to study. 

So for those who are observing from team TWDNHOBIAH, it is clear that your goal is to turn all of this information into a 'hero story' ultimately. And to quell the opposition and if you can't get ones to join your philosophy then to destroy them.  The History Books will be written by you. 

As someone who looks toward the defeat of TWDNHOBIAH and is pragmatic, there are millennia of examples of what NOT to do. The History Books will be written accordingly. There is fascination and respect for the body of work that has been running how everything works in society without getting 'caught'...in other words the ability to be hidden in plain sight. Just like a physician who studies what is abnormal in order to be able to treat it. 

As a sign, I just saw two hawks outside flying together, circling in the air, and landing on a branch together. They were hunting black crows. It appears they got one after appearing to rest on the branch--it is just out of my field of view. 

All is not lost. It is going to change. In my opinion, for the better, but for all it is worth, it is an opinion shared by many, and certainly, most who read this.

One can only fight against LIFE for so long. Spiritual Life, Psychological Life, Physical Life, Emotional Life...all LIFE. Life is bigger and it will win. Last night I realized another reason why those who do terrible crimes against children do so--there is no accountability (creation of new Life), little risk of catching a communicable disease. Then if you add the layer of making the young brain receptive to control, and yet another layer of the traumatized reenacting their trauma by becoming abusers...that explains a lot behind the success of team TWDNHOBIAH. They hate Life, as Life was intended, and skew it to meet their own unhealthy desires. It is really obvious when you stop to think about it. 

There are so many blessings waiting to be bestowed upon all of us. Both teams. I hope to see the resolution and emergence of Heaven throughout the galaxies and cosmos and ultimately, Planet Earth. Remember it was not 'all for nothing' if you are on team TWDNHOBIAH.  Your efforts added to the knowledge and will be remembered for all of history.  When will the next steps happen? I do not know. I only know I was asked kindly to share this information today before work.

Clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

I Am Feeling Better

 

It has taken some time to emotionally process a loss I should have processed a long time ago. But survival and avoidance have a way of displacing that. Softly, in the background, just like my anti-virus software on my computer, protection and progress has happened in my heart.

It feels deadened, the painful memories. When I remember them, I think, 'that was hard' and 'that was really difficult' but nothing more. Gone is the need to almost vomit, gone is the gut-wrenching agony I remembered as if it was yesterday. 

Now what?

I talk with my teams. Last night before I went to sleep I was asked, 'what would you like?'

I didn't know. 

Honest.

I struggled. 

So easily my thoughts go to gratitude. Yesterday I found our backyard turtle had flipped during a long work shift. One the back for the whole night plus who knows how many hours during the day. The terrified turtle had peed everywhere--Mojave Desert Tortises hold their urine most of the time they have quarts of it. Pee was dried on the cement and all over the poor creature. Poop as well. I was so thankful I stopped to check after putting the food plate out for the day. I scrubbed and washed and soaked the turtle, not once but twice because soaking helps them get their moisture back and fill that urine tank inside the shell. Winter is coming and before 'hibernation' (brumation is the proper term) they need to be very healthy and prepared. 

Gently, I was reminded the question was, 'what do YOU want to have happen indefinitely in the the future?'

Again, I felt gratitude for my work and my home and my hobbies, and I hoped for it to continue.  You see, baseline 'normal' for me is for horrible things to happen, life-shattering things, because of the imprint from Ross's death so many years ago. Expect the worst and be prepared. It is a defensive psychological strategy. So...I am being gently asked to let that go, and to be more 'proactive' towards love and happiness I suppose?

I want to have pancakes this morning. I thawed the batter. And last night I wanted an easy dinner, one I had made, that I didn't have to put in a lot of effort. I thawed a frozen leftover, bangers and mash, and then put it in the oven to cook. Yesterday I wanted to read. I did not have the chance but today I will. Small, day to day things, I am just starting to be able to handle. After adulting and also through getting myself into my work, and especially after being a parent, my life had been driven by a 'to do' list, and by fighting any fires that needed to be addressed.

I had two particularly nasty fires to be put out recently. One involved a survey on the computer that was mandated by the government that I had been asked to do in early June and I had put off. The other was a question from the IRS regarding the 2024 taxes.  Both are done in record time now that I set my mind to it!

The suggestion from Spirit was to spent the day tending to the garden. I love that. My garden isn't beautiful in the traditional sense. But it is beautiful to me. Things grow, and I am excited about them. My plan was to have a garden that is like nature, it re-seeds itself and changes with the seasons. I did get the nudge to put flowers all in the border by the fence, and to keep things that grow in the planter boxes.  I sensed to take the compost out of the compost bins and spread it certain places to prepare the flower beds. 

What do I want in the more distant but still not too far future? A nice Christmas. For good happy times with my family and friends. To exercise on a more regular basis (today since I am off I am going to walk after meals).  I had been told by Spirit earlier in the year to go to the beach as often as possible, and I did not go even one time. The swells have been really strong this season, there have been drownings and people being swept out to sea, so perhaps my doing things closer to home is justified? Hopefully I can start going and walking at the beach again this autumn.

Hearts break.

Mine has been completely broken for millennia. I am talking not just pieces but crushed powder not too different from cremation residue! I don't have to carry it that way any longer, my teams do not want me to and it is clearly no longer required of me. But it is there. While I was helping the turtle yesterday, I was talking to it. I sat for a while next to it in the sunshine and shared how worried I had been and how happy I was it was still alive. I changed the wood pile it had been climbing so it can't climb. I also reached out to knowledgeable people, and learned that male turtle do this, they go a little crazy in mating season and get themselves into trouble exactly like mine.  When I was soaking and scrubbing the turtle in the afternoon when it was warmer to get the last residues of nastiness off him, I was singing and totally immersed in his care. I set him on the ground and used the wet rag to take water from the washtub and sprinkle it on him like rain, over and over and over, singing the whole time. Just everyday tunes I changed a little to fit the situation, putting in words like 'turtle' and 'soaking' where they would fit.  I also told him the story of how his old mom was my first friend from the block, and she had to move all the way to Texas. That is why she asked me to take him, and I care for him for her as well as for him. 

There is a lot of love in my heart.

I think that is what hurt the most when Ross died. It stopped flowing.  Our situation changed. The connection was always there between us, it cannot be broken. It was sad when things soured between us at the end of our time together. It was horrifying to learn what he was capable of in the middle of our time together (telling me me my newborn son had died in childbirth and sending him off to be raised by strangers to protect his legacy, and more). There was so much pain in my existence! Being a woman was not the best, Ross had been most kind and generous in treating me as an equal, a partner, and sharing what he knew as a friend to me. More so in the early times, when it was just the two of us. But to have it stop when words were unsaid was cruel. Even in the depths of mourning and despair, in the panic of trying to keep my family alive and in hiding from those who sought to unalive us, and in the shock trauma of the soul ever since, the truth is, I never stopped loving him. I only stopped being able to express it. 

There has been a lot of work on me learning to find my voice. To celebrate who I am after our life together where I was basically in the shadows to everyone but him. And later, to him too. His life took on its own meaning and being paired with me was not even a second thought. I was there like a chair or a pot or a candle, my heart had no bearing on what he did. After the inevitable, life went on. I struggle. Even though I am struggling, this stretch it is without the burden of the old pain. I struggle like an infant learning to walk. I fall regularly. Then I get up and do the same things again, a little better. One day I will walk. And after that I will run!

What brings me joy is being connected to others with my heart. My patients. My colleagues. My family and friends. These connections fill what was once empty and devastated beyond recognition. The pancakes are now calling me. I hope you don't mind if now I go. Thank you for your caring and reading. Your heart is the sweetest part of the aftermath of Ross' going away. It has sustained me for millennia. May all blessings from Spirit rest upon you. It has been a long journey for us both. You have been there the whole time. I always knew and responded to your presence in my life (lives). I am sorry I was in too much pain at times to let you know before now how much I love you back.  Thank you for loving me.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The couple who is eternally wed

Formidable Opponents

 

This morning I was woken up with a message. The other team models themselves after the dark wolf. It is a matriarchy that is hidden in the patriarchy, according to Spirit. No longer are wolves classified as being led by the alpha male. It is the breeding pair and their offspring who compose the pack (link for more wolf information).

There is loyalty. They hunt together. And sadly, in this case of spiritual war the opponents are hungry for control and power in addition to sustenance.

I was told to write this. I saw an image of a herald of ancestry, a symbol, and from what I understand this is proof to those inside the system who question what is really known about them are not.

My soul has studied the ways of the dark wolf for thousands of years, through many incarnations, and in this lifetime, since 2012 which makes it fourteen years. I study it as an outsider, fascinated by the ability of such an organized large group to hide in plain sight and continue. Where cancer exists, there will always be some who pursue its study in research in order to find a cure to save others. 

Do I know anything more about the structure than I was told this morning?

No.

I know of the matrilineal passing of occult knowledge through the work of Jessie Czebotar. I understand how there are 'spiritual connections' between certain places as well as physical ones that are not generally known to the public. I know of the battles for leadership positions, the protectors who are often human/nonhuman hybrids, and how the System maps out different areas according to contracts with spiritual beings as symbolized on herald type, coat of arms symbolic language.

I know of how meat is supplied for cannibals because of the work of Keith Barker, may he rest in peace. His writings drew back the curtain for me on how these small groups exists, how they run in families, how the children are tested for ability to keep secrets, and how much sexual abuse goes on.  I have read every one of his works and I couldn't put them down.  What is endearing and worth remembering is how the Christian sect outsmarted The Baron, and also, how the Baron converted right at death.  Kerth was one of many children in his family, the youngest, and also not especially wanted. He found acceptance and love from his abusers. Along with fear and trauma, of course. It was a lot of work for him to go through the buried memories, heal, and write. 

Fritz Springmeier wrote extensively on how a mind-controlled victim is created. He worked with one survivor, Cisco Wheeler. Jessie Czebotar knows Cisco, both are now Christian and their work is available on standard sources. 

Cathy O'Brien is one survivor of this mind-control. She was a government weapon. Of course none of this is by her choice and she had no say in any of it. Her father sold her into the System. Cathy was rescued by Mark Phillips, a government insider with special training in the neurosciences. As an asset, Cathy was nearing the end of her useful life approaching her thirties. The plan was for her to commit suicide and die in flames. She was spared that. Mark helped her recover her memories and learn to think for herself. She has many books, a website, and even a GoFundMe because her house recently was destroyed in a storm. A freak storm arose and trees fell on her home. Fortunately no one was hurt. I have seen Cathy on a video with three other survivors not too long ago. It was eye opening. 

The truth is out there.  I see individuals risking their lives online every day exposing the system. One is the polyfragmented dissociative identity survivor who escaped the cult. With them you learn how it is to awaken and heal, and build a new life. A point raised in a recent post as a victim of corn and trafficking since infancy to adulthood is the demand for such content/product. So much money was made by her parents off of her suffering! How sick and disgusting could the population be to want that material she asks?

Melissa Ryce is a similar survivor. And a new one who was a sex spy again against her will like Cathy is speaking up. You can see the drive to expose the system and the fear of retribution in her eyes as she speaks. According to her--Heather W on instagram as epstein.untold_sex.spies.speak--there was a piece of intel she was to carry that was so horrifying she risked everything to tell the authorities who could block it. And it---something global scale and causing devastation--has been delayed. Nothing has taken place to actually get rid of those plans, or prevent it from being put into motion. We owe Heather our deepest thanks for her wisdom and courage to protect us all.

Another slightly different one is ter.rozz, who is exposing his community. He is trying to wake up his people to who sold them out generations ago. He is saying things that can get him silenced and he knows it. It reminds me of Ross, who was sent, who heeded his calling, and was silenced back in the day.  I know from long ago, that someone high up in the system said the only way for it to survive was to essentially shift over into the Boulé at the helm. This man doesn't know that part. I admire him for his courage and his faith. 

All of this is long after Cobra and his Red Pill.  Back then, The Black Child was an excellent resource. A Call for an Uprising is still at it, and still producing incredible content despite harsh opposition. He is de-monetized, and has had to create over ninety different YouTube channels because they keep getting pulled off the platform. I remember his one fake channel about kitties and glitter to get the viewership up and bypass the censors. That was fun. 

I need to take a moment to thank Nancy W. She was a charge nurse who was a survivor of the abuse, who confided in me early in my training. She said she had been forced to be pregnant and they took her babies and killed them. I remember feeling dirty and wanting to avoid her, because I knew it was true. I reassured her I still respected her highly for her skills, and I was honored that she trusted me enough to share. And how sorry I was it ever happened. She became a Christian, it had saved her, and she went on to ministry school and a higher degree in healthcare. This was in 1996 or 1997.  It was a seed that was planted that has definitely taken root.

I am a Christian. I have seen some people or read of them actually, finding safety from the System because of what is in the Bible. I also understand that some victims, like Cathy O'Brien, were programmed with 'Biblical programming' and the Bible is how she was controlled. An insider told Mark Phillips to use the Bible to rescue her because she would obey. He broke the spine of her Bible and then it opened to a page that was a verse that encouraged her to leave her situation. She thought it was a sign and followed with him.  Then there is the polyfragmented survivor, who says that the cults are intergenerational, international, and interconnected--they help one another. And some of the cults are satanic, KKK, nazi, and Christian. Yes. Christian. She says that the people in the cults don't truly believe the faith of whatever cult they are in--it is used to torment the victims and discredit them.

Like a dark wolf, these formidable opponents are working together. Strategically stationed across and throughout the globe, following carefully set plans by their leadership. Some members are 'in it to win it'--because they are rewarded financially, sexually, and with worldly power. Others are in it as perpetual victims, or are coerced. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, as what they are opposing --these opponents--is Great Spirit, Great Mother, and Divine Creator of All That Is.  Yes, wolves can work together to take down larger prey. However, they can get injured if the prey is strong and healthy with antlers and hooves. They tend to go for the weak and the old.  So be strong! Be strong mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If you are reading this, remember everyone is welcome on the side of Mother Earth and her Divine Protectors. 

How will you recognize them? The Formidable Opponents? In your heart you will know. There is an energy signature. A lack of empathy. You can sense the vibration, although some are very clever at disguising it. I look for family resemblance. Many babies are given to others in their System to be raised, and a new name. If you look closely you can see the effect of catering to bloodlines over the millennia. The connections are there. 

Thank you for your patience in reading this very long blog post. We are at a place in time where others cannot appreciate anything different from their own beliefs. Allow time and nature to awaken others. Stay strong in your Truth, learn what you can, and be okay with letting go of old beliefs as you get more information. Nurture the seeds that have been planted. Be the wonderful, incredible soldiers of faith you are, and keep up with the strong work you have been putting forth for all these years. We notice! It is appreciated greatly  by us all.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The couple who have Been There and Then Some!

Dragon Unicorn, Earth Gaia and Healing

 

One of my favorite people online is a survivor of horrific abuse. They have polyfragmented dissociative identity disorder. Each new split of personality was needed to survive the dangerous and cruel upbringing community they were in. This person is now safe. And has spent a lot of time healing. Dragons are something enjoyed by this person. So are stuffies, toy animals that are comforting to squeeze.  This individual is not religious because much of the trauma was imposed by people who claimed to believe certain faiths but actually didn't. The religious trauma was used to discredit the victim.

This person's inner world was shared with us the other day. The disclosure was that inside, there are 'fantastical creatures' such as unicorns, pegasii, crossed hybrid unicorn-pegasii, fairies, and dragons. They talk. They also protect.

The world of Spirit, the inner world, is REAL.  Our daily adventures in our waking hours is the dream. I did not share that I know dragons, and I have spoken with them. I have even helped with another to rescue a trapped mother dragon and her eggs.  Magic is real. 

And this poor one who suffered, had Divine Protection arrive in the form of 'Fantastical creatures'. 

Trauma makes us go up into the higher registers of our soul. We 'jump out' of our bodies as much as possible to avoid the suffering, and hence, the connection to the Otherworldly Experiences is made.

When Gaia had inhabitants with higher vibration, these incredible beings did not need to hide. But for now, their vibration is incompatible with walking down the street or being interviewed on camera for broadcast news networks. 

Today I was fortunate to be witness to an alliance being made between Gaia and a certain white society who also has affinity to dragons. One member of the group was in direct communication with her.  They swore allegiance and promised to defend and restore her sacred beauty in every way.  For the first time, she shared the original blueprints of what Earth is supposed to be like/experienced. The representative took one look, and in an instant, was on his knees and in tears. The original beauty overwhelmed him. Everyone has abundance and joy, all beings, and there is great peace. No one in Earth or Heaven before has seen those blueprints, except perhaps Archangel Raziel. 

Some time, not much time, after, Ross appeared to me. We spoke. I started crying again, over what had happened to him. 'Is it the nightmare again?' he gently asked. I rubbed my head on his heart and chest, and nodded yes. I have accepted being haunted by it for all eternity. 

With perfect kindness, Ross both acknowledged the pain and validated it, and yet gave me hope. He said nothing will ever take away those sad memories. But we can, and he will, send forth many more pleasant ones and continue so I may move forward.

It feels good to be seen, heard, and understood, as I walk this 'earth walk' in my waking dream state. 

I miss Home. But for now, I make the best of being here. I was able to finish work early and catch the afternoon baseball game. My home team is having a losing season, and even though there was a three to zero lead they lost the game in the ninth inning. It didn't matter that they lost, or that it was too hot a day, or anything. It was beautiful to me, and I enjoyed it. 

As the healing progresses I will share more. And deepest thanks to everyone who commits to the rescue and revitalization of the planet. Blessings are sent to you with highest regard.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

P.S. Another online person who stands for truth, cried today. The Holy Spirit had appointed them to speak the Truth. And this person said that the only one he fears is the Lord Jesus Christ. He knows there is risk in speaking up. He accepts it. His courage and faith are not lost on me.

Processing...

 

The last two weeks I have been processing emotions I had buried deep in my soul across several lifetimes.  It's not that deep, actually. I just have been exceptionally good at survival and compartmentalization since that time. When I make time and allow for my heart of hearts to actually feel those feelings, I heal.

A big part of the healing is realizing that no matter how much I may be thinking I screwed up, that's ME judging myself. And Divine Father, despite my own opinions and judgement, thinks I am still lovable. That has been my anchor as the waves of emotion wash over me, randomly, as I continue to live my life and function at home and at work and at leisure.

I am adapting to the concept of 'water under the bridge', as in, 'what's done is done'. I had seen a photo of a natural bridge by a waterfall, and happy young teens jumping into the water. That is wonderful joy to see. From my current platform of raw acceptance, it pleases me to watch others experience their joy. 

Underneath is the deeper wound. I see it clearly. It is my ability to trust in my being taken care of, that I can receive and welcome receiving what is mine to receive.  It is my birth right as a feminine soul.  Things in the past with Ross kind of messed it up. So much so that no matter how much Ross is able now to provide, I was stuck in my pattern of fear, of lack, of abandonment. 

Is it better?

Speaking as one who has been in the O.R., you have to take a burn or a wound down to the layer where it bleeds. And healthy granulation tissue forms. Then it is on its way to healing. I can say the old layers of infection and burn on my soul are cleared away. These are layers I thought were a part of me, part of my character, but they weren't. It was something that helped me through some of the worst of times. 

So now what?

Letting go.

I can't keep thinking that maybe with some luck I can get everything right. I do not even hope for it. 

Creator wants to build my life now. And I can ask here and there for preferences. Forget manifestation.  I've been thinking I knew what I wanted and needed for my whole life, as experienced through a distortion of old scars, hurt, and pain. 

All things considered, this has been a lot of progress in a short time. 

I'd also like to take a moment to remember one of our friends who has passed, Denise Stinson. I'm glad we got word of her passing. I remember her eagerly getting her nursing license, and her sharing of her patient care. She helped the elderly, and one was very open to Reiki. Denise even had me make a healing bracelet for him before he passed. She was thoughtful in so many ways like that. I'm glad she is with Ross now, and free from pain.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The friends both on Earth and in Heaven 

Guilt and Healing

 

I have been blogging now for sixteen years. I learned Reiki and absorbed its energy as if my life depended on it. With excitement I brought my new skills as a healer into the workplace of allopathic medicine. 

There have been ups and downs throughout. There were times when I had great anger! I was upset with my teams, my Higher Self, and once I got to realize who he was, my Twin.  I spoke outbursts at my Council meetings. With bravado I said, 'Bring It On!' for the changes which would lead to awakening and Ascension. 

I attended Cobra conventions, networked with other healers, and joyously expected the Great Awakening...which has not yet happened. 

As a single mother I raised my son with minimal financial help from the father, some shoes, clothing, and half of the copayment for wisdom tooth surgery. I have bought a car, paid for private school, and housing/tuition.  I embraced this job with all my heart, and did my very best to be the 'stable parent'.

But now the house is quiet. 

I work as much as I can, and enjoy the mastery of my profession, including the layer of energy healing I have worked so hard to bring to the work setting. 

I ache over being single. I always have had this nagging feeling of wanting to 'do it right' and have another chance with relationship here on the human plane. I remember the shock at forty how the dating apps matched me with grandfathers, and the horror of the realization that most were dating for selfish reasons summed up as 'a nurse or a purse'. 

That was before my son. 

On questioning, and Ross is very good at questioning, I realized I feel responsible for his death, and for how things went south between us prior to his leaving his physical body back in the day.  I tried with all my might to sway him from his destruction. I felt like I must have been a bad wife. I wouldn't call it 'survivor guilt' exactly. Quite the opposite, I felt like I drove him to it. 

I know these thirteen years since I've had connection with Ross, he's had lots of guidance and training just to interact with me. I know the very best of the best healers are giving input. There was a request from me to have someone who I can share my day with and ask 'how was your day?' because where Ross is there is no time. That request was granted. I helps me with accountability, with feeling and sharing my emotions, and healing my self-esteem.  I had to heal on my own as a person, so that the outspoken soul I am is also as outspoken here in my body.  I am especially grateful for the love and support of our friends who knew us back in the day, incarnated now with us, and are in touch.

As I realized my particular agony, my pain, I also found another layer of structure that would not have been apparent to me had I been happily in relationship. I recall the romance of songs from the fifties and sixties, beautiful songs that celebrate youth and joy and togetherness. It seems to have changed since then. And it is not my imagination. Those who 'steer and decide' had a population shortage after the war, World War Two. They needed to 'rebuild the colony'. As humanity was recovering, then small tweaks came into play, slowly over time...birth control, abortion, women working outside the home, divorce, split families, custody, and now not even knowing what gender is. Music isn't as beautiful and loving as it once was. 

I remember how intelligent the people were who wrote my textbooks at school. The generation from the 1940's really gave a lot to us, the future. Now, I see a high school English teacher crying on social media because some of his seniors who are graduating can't write four words into the essay he so carefully set up for them to succeed. 

Where do Ross and I go from here? I know and trust he is doing everything he can for my highest good. And for me, it all starts with acceptance. It will take time to process the pain and guilt that led me to choose my immediate past life and the ones before it. I know the Spiritual Battle is in our midst. Tonight I am refusing to go to the baseball game because of who is throwing out the first pitch. I don't need that kind of energy and I will not support it. Those opposing Divine Creator are inter-generational, subversive, calculating and cruel. The first approach against them led to great sorrow. But the setback was only that. Would I like to see justice and peace in my lifetime? Yes, of course! Absolutely. There has been radio silence for ages though. And I know that the media is controlled. So all I have to go on is the energies. Watching the people for their general state of spiritual health. And appreciating both Nature and my immediate environment/people. 

Time heals if you do the work. 

And besides my buried memory of trauma from when I was four, that emerged when I was twenty six, this even deeper hiding guilt from many lifetimes ago, it is on the path to healing.

Why share it?

Because  the soul heart can carry wounds, and keep it hidden from us, it is a form of soul trauma 'PTSD" and when our soul is healthy and strong enough, it too can come up for healing.

Ross says I said it well, and I have said enough. He says to reach out to him for healing if you ever have a similar soul memory form of PTSD and help will be provided. You only have to make sure you do not distract yourself 24/7, make time to receive the healing with no interruptions for short sessions when time permits. 

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Doctors with Reiki Couple who lead

It's Heating Up

 

It is starting to get really fascinating. There was a woman online, she is an influencer and preaches the gospel. I watched her get removed from a plane because the crew felt 'uncomfortable'. The most intriguing part of the series of short videos was her with the security/police afterwards. Yes, they were Christians. And yes, they admitted that people get thrown off planes for very minor, random things these days. 

When she was on the plane, walking off with her luggage, saying , 'these are the end times and Christians are going to get persecuted!' (because the name Jesus carries power and demons hate it), I was like, wow, these times are really here!

In Nigeria there is an ongoing slaughter of Christians. 

So then I start to wonder, is it all spiritual people who are connected to Source who are at risk? People who perhaps do not agree with the given 'narrative' are in danger? 

I don't know.

All I know is the power hungry ones who do not believe in whatever religion they claim to be a member of, have infiltrated Christian organizations too. And excellent example of darkness in the Catholic Church is the story of Sister Charlotte. It is from over a hundred years ago, but it is chilling. She was wealthy, and joined a convent. But she was so devout they offered her a chance to join a sub-set of the convent called the Dark Sisters or something like that. They had her sign away her rights to her family money. Then they beat her, starved her, tortured her...and she ran away. It was a miracle she escaped with her lives because many were killed because of their faith. 

On a brighter note, how am I doing? I am doing okay. I adjust. My son is ready to fly the nest. I get to figure out what it is I want to do in any given moment. I sense that this is what these years are about. I picked up that perhaps on my days off I should look at my physical activity like a job. Short walks after meals to keep the blood sugar down...workouts...sunshine. The spirit of my first love's oldest sister came to me for the first time (on her youngest sister's birthday, surprisingly enough). She explained to me what my goal is, to bring myself back to that hopeful young girl who had her whole life ahead of her. This energy is what is rightfully mine in this life. Everything else is trauma to heal from. 

Work is okay. I am not stressing. I saw a patient who had very sad circumstances. I was glad to be able to be there for them. There was a little tear of relief in their eyes after I spoke with them about the plan for anesthesia. 

Are there any recommendations? Ross gestures to open our eyes. To watch. And to learn. He is saying that this is where the 'be wise like serpents' part is coming to play:  avoid traps that are set up to catch those who are unaware.  He says there will be many of them. 

He also says to tend to your needs, no matter what they are. It has been a long time waiting. It is easy to lose our focus. Make sure you are taking excellent care of yourselves and all will be well.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The couple who are happy in this life and in the next

Enjoy the Ride

 

This is Jimothy, a wild raccoon in Seattle who has taken the internet by storm. He has short spine syndrome, which makes his look distinctive and unlike other raccoons.

He doesn't realize how special he is. Online articles give lots of credit to his mother for raising him to survive to adulthood with his special needs. 

This blog has had a theme about being 'different' since the beginning. How does Reiki energy healing fit in with society as we know it? Can it be advanced? What are human angels? Why does it seem as if we do not belong here and we long for 'home'? 

Then the Red Pill happened. There was the hope that with the more exposure of darkness, it would go away, and then 'home' would be 'here', right?

There have been visions, battles, and events in the unseen realms, mostly to do with the rescue of Gaia and her people (and her plants and animals and incredible ecosystem). Part of this is wanting justice for a certain brutal assassination two thousand years ago...

Over the last few years, my spiritual growth has been healing from early childhood trauma, and restoring a sense of security and confidence in who I am at this time.The urgency has been replaced by a steady presence and knowing, a workable wisdom of sorts.  

I know who I am. And you know who you are. We know both here and at Home.  Others are completely unaware. 

Who we are matters not what we believe--you can change your beliefs multiple times, but you are still energetically YOU. Perhaps the change is part of you life lesson? If so, the lesson is encouraged if it brings growth and joy. 

There is no need to seek 'power'. You are entrenched in a system that together is far more powerful than you, and you are already extremely powerful. Nature, together, is like an energetic wave and you are simply riding it. 

The fun is in your daily interactions. Let's face it, if we were Home people would not treat us anywhere as spontaneously as it is done while we are perceived as anonymous here. It is refreshing! We also do not have the obligations of Home while we are here. It is a little break for us, a chance to focus on our interests and lessons. 

The rest is for our amusement--news, weather and sports--are 'real' in one sense, as there are systems proclaiming their importance surrounding us 24/7. What is really 'real'--Life, Death and Forever--dwarfs them by comparison. 

Sit tight and enjoy the ride. Know who you are, and also, know who is your spiritual family. Rejoice in the reconnections! It is wonderful to be with your soul tribe. Enjoy your daily interactions. Did you realize that every heart connection made is a direct hit to the system that destroyed that innocent one so many years ago? It might not look like justice in the movies, but it is justice nonetheless. Keep being yourself, keep representing Home everywhere you go, appreciate the joys, learn from the pains, and have confidence that you are undoing so much negative energetic cobwebs in your corner of the world. Just by being YOU. 

Ross doesn't have anything to add to this. 

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

Welcome Back!

 

I cannot even remember the last blog post I wrote.  I have not been called to write, I have done a fair amount of spiritual work in the interim, but nothing major. A lot of my time has been immersing myself in, and embracing, life. 

It was a big adjustment when my son went away to university. At the same time, I had thought that outpatient only work would be my 'logical next step' in my career. It turned out to be quite the opposite! It was a lesson in saying, 'no, thank you' and opening myself up to other career opportunities. 

As a physician, you can't just pick a start date and work. Once you have applied, interviewed and been offered a position, you must go through a process called 'credentialing'.  It happens to be required by both larger employers, and similarly for any place you work. As a traveling outpatient physician, 'credentialing' is easy, you bring a packet with you wherever you go. But in larger organizations you must be reviewed by a committee. I spent November to March in 'credentialing'--no pay--but going through the process.

Today I caught up with a whole bunch of online training videos/courses (again, unpaid). And I smile...wryly.  Why? because I needed time for myself. I needed vacation. I set aside a week, originally to go to Hawaii for a conference at this time. But then, just in case, for my son to go to regionals for his competition. He is actually away at a sort of camp...something I had not had on my Bingo Card earlier in the year.  Monday I went to the doctor. For me, yes! I snore! Going to fix it. Tuesday I worked. It was a nice day at work, but certainly not 'vacation'. Wednesday the house needed things urgently, and they were fixed. It was had work, and I sweat a lot. Tomorrow I work so today was my last 'free day'. I did manage an exercise session this morning. But otherwise it was the online courses before the deadline where it's a two hundred fifty dollar fine. 

How do I feel?

Certainly not 'floaty'.

I also feel like I have stepped out of the shadow of Ross and all my guides. Are they there with me, yes. Absolutely. Seconds before being threatened at knifepoint in Cleveland I heard Ross loud and clear say, 'I am protecting you'. 

It is all a question of personality development. I grew up in a home where I learned to shrink and be compliant. I think many of us in the seventies and eighties grew up like that. Unfortunately, first boyfriend, second boyfriend/first husband, second husband, baby daddy--with all I literally shrunk myself in order to 'keep the peace' and I tolerated being treated 'less than' simply because not only did I not know any better, being mistreated was all I knew. 

Have I made progress with my organization in the home? I've tried. Anthony sees the effort, I wish I could see more. What I have learned is how to pace myself with work shifts, how much time I need for me, and how to adapt accordingly.

What have been some of the joys? Going back to Ohio, and having Bob Evans and Skyline Chili again. My mulberry crop was good, and when I shared with another physician she decided to buy not one but TWO trees for her family! I spent my birthday at Disneyland, a long day, and it felt like summer. My sweet peas bloomed this year. And I was able to harvest some shallots. And I got to see/work inside a brand new hospital where the OR was really state of the art.

Some challenges, oh, let's not go into them but they did take a lot of my focus and concentration. 

We each need to learn our life lessons. And sometimes, not thinking about Spirit (while always being connected of course) allows us to make more progress because we let go of the 'what are we learning' part. Sometimes Spirit is a welcome escape, especially when our weaknesses are difficult and it takes more effort to make progress in those areas. That is why immersing in the day to day, sometimes up to our ears! helps us to make needed progress.

I did have a run with depression around the fourth of July. It was severe and unexpected. What led up to it was a disruption in my routine--I couldn't go to baseball games, I couldn't exercise, I could just work and do chores. It threw me. But then with the memory of the bicentennial--what a contrast from now, in fifty years! I had no family to spend it with except for my son, and usually the fourth we celebrated my birthday, and all those people it was like yesterday at the nice dinner in our back yard--they are dead except for my cousins and one Uncle. I had thought that would last forever. 

Am I going to seek counseling for it? Yes. I'd like to redirect my life goals in the near future. Sort of an adjustment from motherhood. How to find goals. 

If I had one piece of advice to share, it is be YOU. Online. In person. Treasure your friendships and connect whenever possible. Don't be ashamed of who you are. For example, as a physician, the culture ever since I trained was 'trust the science' (keep quiet about woo-woo spiritual stuff that is not tested). Well, when I got into Reiki and started up this blog and the community, I wanted to bring this INTO medicine. Did it open the door? Yes. Have I been teaching and outreaching though? No. I am what I am, I am available to my medical community. And having a surgeon I've known since training confide to me that his mother passed and he had an experience with Spirit...I reassured him. Kind of like a psychiatrist I validated what he was perceiving as real, as something non-scientific. Someone else said 'oh this chemical gets released by the brain at the end of life that's why people see their loved ones who have passed'. I didn't argue. I know my truth. And my truth is aligned with THE Truth, the one and only Truth. 

Be unapologetically YOU.

Bring hope.

Embody compassion. 

Never to the decrease of yourself, or the spending of all your energy on others--be YOU. 

Ross nods. He says 'that is enough for today'. He waves and smiles. 'All is well out here!'. 

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Your Power Awaits!

 

For several days you have been able to reflect on this truth:  we live in a world of lies.

Our senses, which are to make life pleasant and keep us safe from harm, can be tricked.

Our minds, careful as we are, can be fooled. 

There are thieves, liars, robbers, swindlers, why so many riff raff that if I mention a Prince from Nigeria who wants to send money into your bank account--everyone laughs it off with a knowing smile.

Imagine the pure power of Truth in this environment!

I am talking Authenticity.

God made you to be YOU. Different from all the rest. It may seem easier to try to 'fit in' and to 'blend in' and 'not be noticed'. But when we choose this, we support the general riff raff vibe of the planet's occupants.

Speaking your truth IS the light on the hill for everyone to see in the darkness!

Your truth may evolve over time. It doesn't even have to be 'right' in a technical sense. If you feel it, and it resonates as Truth for you, well, then, that is Your Truth for Now. 

Say YES when you mean Yes. 

Say NO when you mean No.

Be selective about the situations you are in for how much you share, there's no reason to dump on people, But when it matters, speak from the heart. Enjoy being different! Enjoy being the most YOU that you can be. 

It is the antidote for the poison in this world. For all of the poisons--the mental, the physical, the spiritual, the psychological.

Other people do not need to understand your truth. They DO need to understand they are safe to express Their Truth.

Today in the operating room, a surgeon noticed I had been humming along with a song on the radio. His partner always has an awesome playlist of club music which I enjoy very much. He asked me, 'Doctor? Do you know this song you are singing the words to?'

I said I do not.

But, I added, 'I sing when I am happy. And I am happy now.'

Plain. Simple. Direct. 

Truth.

Remember if Love is the Solution for Everything, then Truth is the antidote for the ills of this world. Our Truth. Not what the media tells us.

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aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Layers

 

I've been thinking a lot. Sheldan Nidle passed. Then John Smallman got sick, and died. It's been a long journey and our way showers have completed what they signed up for. 

Why is it that I am stuck in the Red/Blue/Black pill information I have known for a decade now? Why are we still here? Where are the ships? Where is the Awakening?

Then it hit me like a brick.

This world is run by the Prince of Lies. 

And those fallen angels do not 'die', they change form from one 'life' to the 'next', not as demons inhabiting others--which we know that's one pathway some on earth take--being hosts to such things voluntarily...I saw an expert at facial recognition proving that some of these people who uncanny resemble historical figures are in fact immortal. They do not 'die'. Not like we do with our Earth Bodies. 

When you think of it, we are here with our five senses which we grow to trust because this helps keep us alive. But the Prince of Lies understands both the senses and the psychology of our weak bodies with spiritual amnesia. He knows every way to exploit us away from our Spiritual Growth. How to take our focus off of this moment Now and how we are feeling inside.

Just about everything is a Bread and Circus, designed to please our five senses very much, and also to massage our egos. We can pick whatever Bread and Circus we like! All forms of entertainment are such. Even the music I listen to on the radio, or my stacks of old CD's I went through today reminiscing about the music that is still really 'mine' and I can play any time I want for free. 

What does this mean to us?

First off, don't get too attached to any one 'reality', especially one that makes you 'comfortable'. Brace yourself for one rude awakening after the next when the Truth eventually makes itself known.

Second, when you are enjoying the good things of this world, make an effort to balance it with quiet time spent reflecting on Spirit. Remind yourself Spirit is REAL and everything else is 'just there'. We can still use here to grow and learn. Just know it's not the only thing that is important.

Last, understand this is a 'game'. And ugly 'game' that is controlled by some very despicable and unpleasant beings who expose us to lie after lie after lie. We are surrounded with poisons of every possible way to hurt the physical, spiritual, mental, and etheric bodies we are given. This is the physical world.  A friend of mine just crossed over recently, and came back smiling and saying 'it is worth it!' 

Enjoy what you can. Come up with goals and objectives for YOU. Stick to them. Include Spiritual connection and surround yourself with like-minded people. Be positive! And be thankful for the gift of being alive. I have it on good word it IS worth it! Let go of shame. Feel your feelings and process them.

It is going to be okay, no matter what.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

the Cousins xoxoxo