My father was a teacher. Growing up he would be grading papers while we watched the TV. Sometimes he would let me grade them. I had the answer key and would use the red pen. It was easy and it was fun.
His books he had for the students always came with one special book in the set: the teacher's edition. This one had all the answers to the problems in the back!
Today the topic is a connection I made as I was falling asleep last night while thinking about the school of Life, Earth School, if you would be so kind. And this lesson/topic today, is 'balance'.
Please take a moment to pause, and take a few deep breaths. I need you to focus on this lesson, and let everything else just set aside for a moment. For this is a balance unlike one you have ever seen, or heard about, or experienced.
Let's go back in time to one of our worst experiences on this earth, ever. You are safe, it is okay to go back there, Ross is with you.
What is it, for you?
Look at the characters/people who caused it to happen. Look at their personalities, their character traits, from a distance and with detachment/compassion.
For me, it was the four neighborhood boys who tricked me, held me down, and raped me in a back room at their house. I thought I was going to die.
Remember you are safe. You are precious. You are loved at this moment and this is why you are being guided through this very special lesson.
Set the unpleasant experience aside.
Now search your memory for the Balance that was sent to you, the lesson in the complete opposite direction.
For me, it was a boy named Patrick who was from Pennsylvania. His family was camping in the campsite next to ours at Dorst campground in Sequoia. There was a big rock between our campsites, a huge flat one you could climb. Only I couldn't climb it.
Patrick gave me a helping hand.
Patrick liked me for who I was and didn't ask for anything in return.
Patrick had been camping there before and checked the area out. He showed me all the cool things to see. We walked on fallen logs around a meadow. I saw skunk cabbage for the first time, and had read about it in a book at school.
He took me to a clearing in the forest. There was still a small patch of snow. But what he showed me was like a miracle! It was my very first time seeing Snow Flowers! They were red, and not leafy at all, and pushing up through the snow.
He was so happy and proud to show them to me.
I had never known such understanding or kindness in my entire life. I didn't understand where it came from. Or why he was so very nice and pleasant.
When his family left I cried. I was seven years old. I have never met anyone so pure of heart since.
These two experiences go together. And they show how although there is pain and suffering, the glory of Creator is far greater than the bad.
My mother had a temper. I was meditating yesterday. I felt my father's presence. I confessed to him how terrified I was of mom. How there was no way to ever please her. I just shut up and hid inside my books to survive, counting the years until I could escape away to college.
My father had a terrible mother. When he moved out at seventeen his dad told him, in private, he was jealous of him for his freedom.
I furthermore told Dad how even though I was close to him, it was hard, everything was on his terms. I couldn't call him 'daddy' I had to say 'father'. I couldn't say 'LOOK!' in excitement, I had to say 'observe!'. Then there was the throwing away of my toys if I forgot to put them away at night, and the utter confusion I experienced as a toddler where my toys had went.
Mom was nicer to me when I was really little but the minute she got pregnant with my sister, she changed.
I confided that I am a mess now when it comes to attachments/connections to others, I am lonely with Anthony growing up, and I guess I am a lost cause from here on out. I cried.
Dad had me think of what I wanted. What would have been better? I said for us to have been like when our family went camping! Everyone got along, mom didn't yell, we did cool things, and we enjoyed one another's company. It was always better when we were not home.
Then I realized the balance for my mother was my Aunt Edna.
She was always kind to me, encouraging, and in later life I confided so much in her. She always had something positive she could find in any situation. She sent cards for my birthday and never forgot, even when I was older. I had asked her to be my sponsor for Confirmation and she had said 'yes'. She even sewed for me my high school cheerleading outfit that the school bought as a kit. She was gentle. Even when the family was all together, cousins, aunts, uncles, at a house in the desert for Easter, she would braid my hair so gently. Not the rip and tug brushing I was used to that made me proud I could not show how much pain I was having when mom did my hair.
You could even say my Nana Angelina, too, was a balance as well. She only yelled at me twice in my life, I remember. Once when I got into her lipstick and tattooed/body art decorated my naked body while she was babysitting me. And the other when my Uncle who had treatments for nosebleeds was wrestling me and I accidentally kicked his nose and it started bleeding. Other than that, which I think were actually reasonable reasons to be upset, she was loving, kind, supportive and encouraging till the end. I remember even in her Alzheimer's, I was at her bedside, and crying because the disease was so horrible. She was sleeping or so I thought. But in a moment of clarity, she said, 'why are you crying? I would never want you to cry.'
Look for the balance.
If you had a former partner who broke your heart, well, search for the one who helped you feel glad to be alive. You will find it. Even if it is just a briefest of meetings, you will see the Divine Purpose of the meeting, and how it emphasized there is reason to HOPE.
When all HOPE seems Lost, look for the lesson, the lesson in Balance.
You will find it.
Ross adds it might not be a human but may be a special fur baby that was sent to help you find your way.
We hope this empowers you in your commitment to learning and success in this school of living!
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
