How are you?
It's been a while since the last blog post, yes?
Absolutely.
There's been a lot of very deep growing and healing work going on. None of it has been painful. Not like in the past.
A lot of it has the theme of letting go and letting your Life Purpose take control with full and complete acceptance.
I recently took time to attend a conference in Maui, Hawaii, the United States. This was our view at sunset. That island is Lanai, the island my son and I last visited. And the boat, if you can see the mast off on the left, is the Gemini catamaran.
There was a time I thought for sure Hawaii held a curse for me.
Really!
I mean it.
My honeymoon in 1988 there was heavenly, but I had a cold, it was in Kauai. All was well.
But the second time, my first husband and I went there for a wedding of one of his childhood friends who was dying of AIDS. It was kind of happy-sad. And it was a real strain on the marriage. His friend separated us, and had his closest ones with him for every pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding event. I was stuck talking with strangers. I felt very alone. We didn't know at the time he was dying. We just knew he was getting married. It was later when he passed his wife let us know how very sick he had been.
My first time to Maui was to Wailea, at the Fairmont Kea Lani.
That's where the lei making instructor gently told me the truth, I wasn't really married, and I should wear the flower on my right ear, not my left. My second husband made me cry at a meal, and I left the table. I had been torn, and at the Luau the night before I'd decided he wasn't perfect but I was happy enough with him to stay. But the next day we decided to divorce. He slept on the couch in the suite, I got the bed. It was so cold.
Once we got home he put all my belongings in our bedroom and he split the house down the middle. I could barely walk into my room!
Huge change it was for me.
Huge change.
It wasn't until a cardiac anesthesia conference to Honolulu the next year that I realized the curse wasn't real. It was just a strange coincidence.
Until I went to Maui again. Anthony was three. And even though this was January of 2009, and everything seemed wonderful to be able to travel again, within months my job was no more--no longer an Associate Professor of Anesthesia. It shook me to my core and I had to scramble.
If you notice, in the last fourteen years, I've been to Oahu, Kauai, Lanai, Big Island--but NOT to Maui!
So I did a lot of deep meditation.
What I learned was, losing my academic position led to greater financial stability for us. And losing that husband number two? I didn't even cry over him! I'd shed all my tears.
So, I don't know what my Life Purpose has for me.
It looks like there's a huge separation if my son chooses to attend college out of state.
But there could be other changes too, I don't know. And I'm glad and happy and grateful to have grown enough to accept that Maui has been the beginning of the biggest life changes I've ever had. I fully accept it. I know and trust in my Creator and my guides and my Higher Self that whatever IS, is going to be okay.
Can you believe that's me writing this? I know right? I used to hate my Higher Self. A lot! LOL. And I have it in writing too!
Ross and I grow closer by the day.
I spoke with him about how much I appreciate his love for me, and for his giving me the freedom to choose what lessons I would like--the ones that don't interfere with the main ones already written in my Life Script. And it's really great. Really. I know he loves me and supports me in my efforts to pick up skills I want to have 'under my belt' and 'ready' before I get to Heaven.
I also am okay with people not really knowing me or anything about me from back Home.
I figure is Home is filled with official activities and commitments and stuff like that, then to be a nobody here is a real treat! One I should enjoy with all of my being. And I am.
There was a doctor here who was hit by a car when he was riding a bicycle. And then the driver came out and stabbed him! He died I believe in his own emergency room.
I was driving to work, and he popped into my awareness. He was politely coughing, nervous, stammering really to approach me. I was vaguely remembering some of that feeling from being back Home as he did that. He asked me what he should call me, and I gently said, 'Carla! of course! I wouldn't have it any other way.'
First thing he said was, 'Carla, that man of yours up here, he's not all that bad...'
I smiled. Last time IZ was the one who told me I should 'give him a chance'. Ross has good wingmen. But I laugh because Ross and I are closer than close now. We really are. As far as my being incarnate will permit.
Then I asked how he's doing, this doctor? First he thanked me for being incarnate, in his area he lived, and for the work I do. Then he said, 'you get a certain age, you can't work any more, so either way, death or retirement, it's just about the same.'
It was practical, yes. Sad though, since he's fifty-eight like me.
Then he told me something extra. When I'm doing my doctor work, I'm not just getting compensated on Earth for the good I am doing for my patients (body/mind/soul work, not just medicine). He confided that I'm being paid at the same time, in Heaven currency, and the pay there is way, way better than anything we could imagine here! He says that pay is incredible!
There is a bible verse about storing up treasures in Heaven.
I believe all of us need the reminder about how well we are doing here, and how it translates to good things in the afterlife. Lasting things that will make our afterlife experience absolutely wonderful beyond our wildest dreams!
Ross had asked me to write about Freedom two or three days ago. I wanted to, but was tired. I still haven't unpacked and it's almost a week being home.
He wrote through John Smallman things along the same lines as our discussions. I'm sure you probably have read it already, but I'll give you the link here: article if you're interested.
Anthony was out all week with a virus he picked up on vacation. I caught it but had to work. I had headache bad on Tuesday, and yesterday I felt feverish. My nose was really running bad. So today, he went to his dad's and I slept in. Until nine thirty (my normal wakeup is about five a.m.). I spent the day in my pajamas and took a long nap too. That kind of freedom is also a blessing! To be able to heal the body and let it rest.
Ross doesn't want to add to this message. He just smiles and waves.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Cousins who kiss <3 (he came up with that one....sigh!)
