Things are moving in so many different directions at once! I will hit the highlights in this blog post. But the most important is this conversation I had with Ross not too long ago:
C: Ross?
R: Yes, Carla.
C: I might be alive in the times referred to at the last part of the Bible. Things are matching really close. But I don't like it.
R: In what way?
C: I don't understand how God works, Ross. I know He has His Plans. And some of them include violence. It's written all through the Bible of wars and pillaging and vanquishing enemies. Even the plan for Salvation included murder, a horrific one. There's all kinds of deaths predicted in the end of the Bible.
I don't see why we can't just have a happy story like the Hallmark channel with a little struggle and a nice ending.
Ross? If it's okay with you I want to cover my eyes for this part of the movie. Just let me know when it's okay for me to look again.
That was a really big realization for me. I've been through enough trauma in all my various incarnations, that I've frankly had enough of this 'Biblical Action'. I accept and allow--I don't fight it because I understand there's a Plan with a capital 'P'--but I have my limits.
Another big movement, is that I realized that our home, although disorganized and cluttered, is comfortable. It lets us live and enjoy our lives without being slaves to the home.
I discovered a wonderful resource online too. Here's a video that reminds me lots of how my dad and Ross used to teach me: How to have Confidence!
Her house organization one is good too.
How about my health?
The anterior cruciate ligament is no more. There's other things too. It's swollen, and stiff and sore.
Oddly enough, after I dropped off the Pilates Bar I used as a cane/crutch on that fateful day eleven days ago...I stopped by a local discount retail store. I want a new flannel nightgown. Nightgowns in general are getting harder and harder to find. It's all pajamas.
I did find some sweat pants to make dressing easier for work and home.
A woman commented on how pretty the rose pink ones were as I was admiring them. She said that all she can wear now are sweat pants because of her knees and the pain. She's been home for nine months now.
I was astonished and told her I just found out today about my ACL. How sad I am to need to repair it. How painful and sore it is too.
She asked me my name.
I told her.
She started to pray to Jesus right there in the middle of the store, OUT LOUD, to help me, to help my knee heal, and to have NO PAIN.
As soon as she said NO PAIN my knee felt better!
She also said there would be a miracle and to look for it.
Her name was Mary.
I told her too how my leg is God's leg, I'm borrowing it, and He can do with it what he wills. His will, not mine. I'm thankful it's worked for so many years...
She said that helped her.
People are going to be increasingly interested in Spirit. Ultimately the Jewish brothers and sisters will pick up where they left off years and years ago, and lead many many souls to Heaven!
Even though The World Leaders are saying things that are true about what goes on hidden in plain sight in the US, it's in the Bible that alliance, and although it's valiant they will not succeed. Not against the AC.
Only one can defeat that one.
Which reminds me, Hope Johnson was talking about her relationship with Jesus in the most beautiful way on her Wisdom Dialogs. Let me see if I can find the link: voila! here's the link!
You may know too that Lisa from Angelorum Tarot had a--deliverance?--from a serpent python demon and is now totally Christian and ketogenic too.
I think now is a good time to make sure you know your Father's voice--and your Mother's too <3 It's fascinating times! At least what I'm letting myself see through my fingers during this 'movie' lol!
I think the most important thing is to accept and allow--whatever people find are right for them to do, and for you to do.
I'll share something I haven't in a long time.
I was doing a pique turn when I felt a guitar string pop in my right knee. I was at a class at Irvine University High School as a resident in surgery. Maria Chand, MD, an ENT resident, was teaching the dance class.
She was right on me and examining my knee when I fell. It hurt. But I could walk. I limped to the car, a stick shift mind you! I drove myself to my apartment, a low-income one bedroom in Costa Mesa, about twenty minutes away.
I sat in my bed with ice on my knee, my leg propped up on pillows, and I was crying my heart out. I loved dance. And this was bad! I had my Orthopedic Exam book on my lap, and was blindly flipping the pages from one page to the next, wondering what I had done to myself.
In the corner of my room, was Blessed Mother. She was crying as hard as me. And kept saying over and over again, 'God has made a miracle! God has made a miracle! God has made a miracle!'
It wasn't until after my healing, my surgery, my healing from that, my marriage, that I was at a stoplight, and Blessed Mother told me, 'you will one day dance again!' and then I really bawled, because dance is one of the greatest joys of my heart.
She was right.
I didn't know how it would happen.
One day Frank saw a ballet class at our gym, 24 hour fitness. He said I should go. I looked into it. It cost eight dollars extra. I was a chief resident and would schedule my calls so I could go to classes post-call.
Jay was an excellent teacher. I ended up going up on pointe. I learned about Miss Sara and her studio from Jay. I ended up dancing even more as an attending! I was in the Nutcracker twice, and La Bayadere too. Being a Shade was one of my favorite roles, I even wore a tutu.
I ended up donating my costume from that other dance class when I hurt myself--we were going to perform --to the new studio.
In fellowship I got to dance where I couldn't afford it in medical school--The San Diego Ballet. I took pointe classes, regular classes, and even at home in the kitchen every day I did a barre.
I danced up until I was seven months pregnant.
She was right!
Well, what about this leg?
There was no warning. There hadn't been either the last time. I've been working to be in shape and loose weight. When I went down I knew it was bad. I hoped it wasn't as bad, but it is actually worse as there is a meniscus tear.
I didn't see Blessed Mother. I didn't even cry. I had to be a mom. Keep things running. It was like a joke my hobbling around. Anthony took it serious. For example, if I took a shower, he was home, listening for a possible THUD, and was ready to call 911 if I slipped.
But the other night, I was in so much pain I drifted in and out of sleep. And I woke up to Jesus. He was holding my knee in his hands. He's the most wonderful healer. I was happy to be in his care.
I still don't understand why this happened. Anthony told me today it's 'mom, you have to realize you are not twenty five any more!'
Even a surgeon who has been mean to me, gave me good advice, since he's had his ACL. He said to stay active and swim. I enjoyed being active in Pilates. At the ER my blood pressure and heart rate and oxygen had improved since before I've been exercising.
Thank you for all of the healing you have sent, and for the prayers, and for the cheering me up. It's meant so much.
Ross is happy. And he shakes his head 'no' on if he has anything to say. It's late, and he wants me to get my rest. I've meant to write this for two days now. So here it is.
clap! clap!
Aloha and mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Twins, one who has one good knee, and the other who has a pair of good knees <3
