My Twenty Hour Day

It is one fifteen in the morning. I have been awake since five a.m. The alarm went off at four a.m., but  I kept hitting the snooze. (I went back to the bedside, finished until the patient went safely to the floor from PACU, and briefly slept until I wrote the rest...)

I didn't eat an actual breakfast. I had my favorite, vanilla Spirutein, in milk and a cup of coffee in a travel mug as I went out the door.

It was a hurry. Because of the holiday for MLK, there was no school. I took the kids in pajamas to the sitter who lives ten minutes away, in the opposite direction from work.

From seven o'clock in the morning, until three in the morning (all the way through midnight), I saved lives. I did anesthesia on people, almost ten of them; except for one, the surgery was to  save their life. In these situations, anesthesia is a technical challenge. It takes great concentration and vigilance to get a high-risk patient through.

My food for the day was:
six graham crackers in little packets
coffee
one cup of peach kefir
a pear
one small black bean burrito from home
six saltine crackers
one bottle of water
honeydew melon and four orange slices
a small green salad from the salad bar
a small carton of overcooked wheat pasta with flavorless sun dried tomato and baby spinach


All of it was eaten in a hurry--there were no scheduled 'breaks'.

All of this was worth it.

I did not see my kids.
I slept in my own bed (for only three hours--now I get to go back to work after taking the kids to school)

There were two hours of critical care I did in the recovery room, without compensation (recovery room is kind of like an ICU)--it is included in the anesthesia fee from the O.R.

Why was it worth it?

I got to learn a new disease. One that for privacy I can't share here and now, but perhaps later. This disease stopped me in my tracks. It was a surgical disease. The patient was DNR already, and had lived a good life. But the findings! And how easily it was curable! I had come close to canceling the case, the risk was so much.

I am so glad I didn't.

And I hope through my sacrifice of time, energy, and healing, I earned/repaid some Karmanic debt to those who are taking such good care of my mom.

There is nothing I like more than getting into someone's aura and doing some great energetic work. Today, in the day, I did exactly this.

But at night, it was 'living the dream', a phrase we say, when the going gets tough in medicine and you are at the end of a long day. Less Reiki, more Doc. I didn't even have time to Reiki my back when I pulled it moving a patient. I took some ibuprofen instead.

This is how you earn the title of 'healer' in our society. It is not that different from Kahuna in Kanaka Medicine in Native Hawaii--those who stay up all night, healing, using their knowledge of procedures and plants in their work. After many long years of training to be able to become a healer.

Unfortunately our 'healing' is tied to a petrochemical-pharmaceutical economic industry.

But the heart of a healer is always the same: to relieve suffering--to restore Balance and Health.

My 'five pillar table' is greatly imbalanced. Sleep, nutrition, movement, emotions and environment are out of whack. I slept in my clothes after I changed back into them, drove home, and went right to bed.

It will take some time to recover my own balance.

By contrast, Reiki healing work does not deplete.

I look forward to the future of medicine. And I am holding my own in the Medicine we have of today.
Until we can connect it to the healing of Tomorrow. Blessings, Love and Light.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Survive the Surgery Waiting Room!

Somewhere between Jury Duty and the Airport lies the waiting room for family of a patient undergoing surgery. I had the pleasure of inhabiting this space for most of the day, and also most of the night, just recently. Here are some thoughts to help you make your stay on behalf of a loved one pleasant, appropriate, and peaceful.

Electricity is a limited commodity:
All of our gadgets need to recharge. There are only so many plugs for everyone! A little suggestion, and I don't know it the hospital people who watch these things would approve it, is an extension plug. You know, the kind that plugs into one socket and has the ability for three plugs to stick into it? An extension cord would be too blatant, LOL. But my sisters and I were not able to sit together for most of the day while mom was in surgery for this reason. One always had to sit at the table by the plug and watch the electronics while everybody else sat someplace in the room that was more comfortable.

Make use of that cell phone!:
Unless your surgeon is quick, you might have some time to step out for a while. We spent much time in the cafeteria. Just make certain that the waiting room clerk who checked you in has your cell phone number or some way to reach you before you go. Some of my surgeons where I work prefer the call technique, because then neither one of you is tied to that room for the necessary communication of how your loved one fared through the procedure. Some others still prefer the face-to-face approach. Try to stick around the waiting room so the surgeon can find you at the end of the case--a urologist friend said nothing is more depressing than after a long day in a hard case, going to the waiting room to talk with family and they are not there. (Having to search for family takes precious time away from other clinical priorities in these busy lives, even takes away from time to eat or catch up on other patients). Ask in advance what your surgeon would prefer, and get an estimate. If you stick around about twenty minutes after you speak with the surgeon, sometimes the anesthesiologist might come out and talk with you. When I have the opportunity, I love to go and share how everything went. The times I make a point of it, are typically when there is something important to say about your loved one should approach the time after anesthesia (in the context of  what I saw on their monitors and what medications were used and what to expect in the early recovery phase.)

Eat light:
You are just sitting around, and worrying. This stress might want you to 'have a treat'. This time, I ate the healthiest things in that cafeteria I could find: lunch was sushi in a box and coconut water. Afternoon snack was half a 'designer' pizza with fresh basil on it, and half an apple. Dinner was the rest of the pizza. Late night snack was coffee and the other half of the apple. I stayed away from french fries, chips, pastries, and soda because I wanted to be alert and be kind to my body nutritionally as the stress and inactivity were already taking my balance 'off'. If you can, fresh air and sunlight are good too.

Let your presence be your present:
ICU patients can't take flowers into their room. Most hospital rooms have limited counter space, even if they can have flowers. During my hospital stay in June, I had two small arrangements. It was enough to show me cheer. Stuffed animals, vases and knick knacks become reminders of the illness in time. My mother detests all the vases that pile up at home when she has been in the hospital. Take the time to comfort, to listen, to hold a hand. And keep it short! Try to keep your hospital visits about five minutes length of time. Patients get exhausted, and many are incorporating 'cuddle time' (visitor free hours in the afternoon for parents to bond with newborns, etc.) to promote health. So call ahead, learn the rules of the place, and tap into your networking while you are in the waiting area. Give all of your family and loved ones a big 'heads up' about how your loved one fared; moreover, let them know what is reasonable to expect if they decide to come for a visit. (you can 'screen' your guests by letting your nurse know who is welcome and who isn't, too. If there is a family member who drains you or gives conflict, the nurses will be happy to tell them 'no visitors' and take the blame off of you.)

Take the opportunity to connect to Source:
Just like your electronic devices need to hook up to power in order to run, you have your Spiritual Light that is fuel for you. How often do you just sit? And wait? This is a special time to strengthen your aura, be it through Reiki, other energy healing techniques, biofeedback, prayer, or silence. (I also got cold--so like the airport, dress in layers, and perhaps bring a small blanket with you).

After you speak with the surgeon, know that your loved one has the recovery room--about an hour before discharge if an outpatient, a little less if they are going up to the floor. Only parents of very small children are allowed into the recovery room (PACU--post-anesthesia care unit). And know that when you do see your loved one, they are going to be goofy from the anesthesia and not at their best!

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

On Facing Surgery

Tomorrow I am having robotic laparoscopic surgery for a mass. It is causing pressure and discomfort.

How do I feel about having an operation? Better than I have before, but not so great. Let me explain...

My first time having anesthesia, I was ten. It was oral surgery. I remember being given square blocks of rubber to bite on in the dental chair, my arm being strapped into a metal holder, looking up at a big bottle of clear liquid labeled Sodium Pentothal and a long tube that connected that bottle to my arm. The next thing I remember is hearing the characters on the T.V. show 'Three's Company', slowly coming to and realizing I was not dead. Joy overcame me. Eventually I went home and recovered with my family.

My mouth being what it was, I had oral surgery twice after that. Once for extra teeth, and the other time for wisdom teeth at sixteen. I didn't phase me. I was nervous, but had good experiences and support. What meant the most to me at the time, was that my teeth were given back to me in a little plastic treasure box. I still have those teeth today.

The worst surgery is the one that came next: pituitary adenoma. There was something growing in my brain, giving me headaches. For some reason, that totally freaked me out. I had to go to a big university center. I remember talking with the anesthesiologist in the pre-op clinic about having some signal or code to indicate that I was actually awake. He saw my earnestness, and smiled, and shared that my neurosurgeon had actually worked on HIM, and he was okay.

It was the wait that was unbearable before that surgery. I tried alcohol, shopping, tears, journaling, going on a trip to the snow which I love, but nothing could take away the fear I had for going through this surgery. And afterwards, I was shocked at how I walked IN to the hospital on my own power, but had to be wheeled out after five days in house as an inpatient.

Slowly I learned how this was a gift to let me take some time to adjust my perspective on life. To take walks gently around the neighborhood. I lived in Berkeley at the time. I had two dreams, one to go work at Chez Panisse and become a famous chef. The other was to follow my childhood dream to be a doctor.  Here I am with you today--guess what dream won out? Not to say that I don't wish I could have had BOTH dreams come true, but I am genuinely happy with my life and how it turned out.

In a belly dancing class I tore my anterior cruciate ligament. I was a surgical intern at the time. I wore the brace for nine months, often whacking my good leg with the bulky brace by accident in the process. I never figured out if it was better to wear the brace inside or on top of my scrub pants. It was miserable! I got my surgery, knowing I had to have a repair to stop my knee from going out on me when I stepped off a curb or was in the grocery store. And to stop wearing the brace! I recovered well, and got back into ballet, my true love in dance. Getting my life back was one of the profoundest miraculous events, for I had resigned myself to never dancing again. Being let out of that prison truly gave new life to my soul.

Because I brushed like, too often, when I had braces on my teeth, I ended up needing periodontic care as an adult. While I was an anesthesia resident, I had a graft done at the periodontist's office. That was scary, and I tried to do it just on valium alone because they use a cocktail of things to put you to sleep that made me afraid I was not going to breathe. The valium wasn't working. They  asked, 'do you want to go all the way out?'. I said yes. Everything went fine. But my husband at the time, was a nurse. We knew the post-op for this would hurt. So he placed an i.v. at home, and dosed me with toradol i.v. I felt NO pain! For that I was working it to my benefit, applying what I knew at work to have a better recovery.

My last operation was cesarean section. I was ready to go home to Jesus by the time I was cut. Labor was awful! I never felt any pain, and healed up nicely.

I also had a root canal one day when I was pre-call as an associate professor. It was hard to schedule it, and those hours before work were the only ones that fit. I took no pain medicine, and worked a full overnight shift on Trauma and OB, supervising residents. It hurt like heck, but to survive we all do what we have to do.

I share my experiences with you, out of a selfish reason: I think doctors who have gone through surgery are better at taking care of their patients. My stomach is so sensitive to anesthesia I have to take toast and tea for three days following an anesthetic. Guess who's patients never throw up after surgery? That's right! I was so miserable that I figured that one out to help MY patients. Who threw up flat on her back in a c-section, wondering if she would aspirate right then and there while giving birth? You got it! Me! So who has the driest suction canister in the OR on L&D? Yes! I figured that one out also. Who is the best with the most anxious, neurotic, controlling patient in the Pre-Op Holding Unit? Good old Reiki Doc, that's who! I was bawling my head off while waiting for neurosurgery when I was twenty-five, in the flimsy gown hearing the other patients getting their hair clipped off in the other pre-op beds next to mine.

So what about this operation ahead? I got to pick my team. My surgeon, anesthesiologist, scrub tech, circulating nurse, and RN-first-assist. That helps to cut down on the fear of it. It is a luxury those of us that work in the OR have. I have to be honest with you--the tech who usually works on the robot is a male. I just couldn't face him knowing he had worked with my--'modesty'--the whole case! I told him why I picked a lady for that, and he understood. And he teases me about it, and it still makes me blush.

I was worried about my 'appearance'. Some people really go to town on their grooming, with landing strips and waxing and all. I spoke with my circulator, because I didn't want to look bad 'down there'. She reassured me that 'no one would care' and that 'in our day no one "landscaped" anything so not to worry'. It helped. As my surgeon says, 'we all look the same under our scrubs'. If you are having surgery, and are worried about how your body will look while you are sleeping, know that it is okay. Our surgery teams have seen just about everything. Unless we are working on a body part specifically, the more 'modest' ones are typically covered while we work in the OR.  Even in a c-section we hardly see the breast because the gown is never taken off the patient. It is okay.

I color my hair, so I made sure I covered my roots today, so they would not show. Anesthesia sees the head. And I packed a little bag with what I would wear to the hospital, a couple books, lotion, and my tooth brush. I got a Hello Kitty bag to cheer me up.

My greatest worry is for my son. I am a single parent. Although I co-parent with his father, my son and I are close. He will worry, and want to see me. But they do not let children in the surgical ward at the hospital. It will feel so long until I can hold him in my arms when I get back.

I am thankful for the robotic surgery, and the skills of all my peers. I feel the healing power coming through all of them. I never noticed how talented they were until I realized I would have to be going to them for my care. I am impressed at all of our skills from this perspective.

I have also put myself on the Reiki Healing List and the Divine Peace Healing Lists of my friends. I know I am in Divine Hands, and thankful for this peace of mind and comfort that Light brings.

I will do my best to let you know how things go. In the meantime, if you don't mind, and if it resonates with you, please pray for me in your heart. I am most grateful for your kindness in this respect.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc