A Message From My Mother

Yesterday I called my mom. She said it was her favorite day, August fifteenth.

I thought it was the festival for the assumption of Mother Mary? She grew up in a small village in Sicily.

Actually, she said, it was the harvest festival and it lasted three days. But she was happy because on August 15, 1962, dad asked her to marry him.

I remembered the fancy steakhouse in town they took us to once, and showed us where he proposed. My sister and I were in wonder at the history that took place in that otherwise not very noticeable place from the outside. It was wonderful to be in, and enjoying dinner where they decided to marry.

I asked if Dad got on one knee?

He did.

And he had a beautiful velvet box with a ring in it.

You know what she said?

I am not going to wear that ring! It's not new. Somebody else wore it.

Father was flabbergasted. How did she know?! (I think it was psychrometry and claircognizance on mom's part, because she didn't know how she knew, she said. She 'just knew'.)

So it wasn't a yes and it wasn't a no, it's a 'I'm not going to wear that ring'

She shared that father had left for Korea, and asked a girl he didn't really like but had been seeing, a friend of his sister Edna, to marry him. She accepted. But she was too loud and he didn't enjoy being with her. Times were different and it was the right thing to do.

In Korea, he got a 'Dear John' letter. And when his tour of duty was done, she gave the ring back.

So Dad went to Mr. Jones, and took mom, and showed her a certificate that the ring, the new ring, had never been worn and was only for her. Mr. Jones made a point to tell her it was only for her.

Then another time, he took mom to the 'Celestial Garden' in Chinatown L.A. to officially propose.

He got down on one knee again.

This time she took the ring.

Here is a link to the garden:  http://www.thejapanesegarden.com/garden.html

Of all the places in the world for this to happen, why in a Celestial Garden, that is Japanese?

The man who designed it also designed one of my favorite hideaways in Medical School, the Japanese Garden at Balboa Park. I would go there when I was very stressed and it would do wonders for my soul.

I also used to study at the Zoo. I liked to read while sitting on the bench by the waterfalls for the gorilla exhibit. San Diego let students have unlimited pass to both parks for only twenty dollars a year. I have never forgotten this kindness.


Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,


Reiki Doc


P.S.   Ross:    Good morning to you. Salutations! Everything is on its way, at the best possible time and place. I want you to have patience with us, and also with yourselves with the awakening. This is not something one can throw into the microwave and press a time for it to cook. The awakening of the masses is delicate, like a soufflé --and like a warm chocolate lava cake soufflé --after dinner it is worth the forty-five minute wait for them to make it. That's why you order that dessert early in the restaurant, before you eat your meal.

I hope you have enjoyed Carla's story from her mother, her Earth mother, Nikki. I want Carla to know that her temper--that of her mother--was harsh but her heart was in the right place. Many people auditioned and applied for the task of raising you, my beloved. Your mother had the ability to show you the way to us, unobstructed.

For those of you who have not read of it, Carla literally grew up attending UFO conferences at Giant Rock. As a child she could tell an extraterrestrial incarnate/human form. As often they were present at these gatherings. She turned her nose up at them and wanted nothing to do with the conferences but to ride on her father's shoulders and see. And also to ride the swings.

Carla's parents brought her up close to nature, at a nudist colony, on the weekends too.

They did their job perfectly, and helped mold her to be who she is today.

Darling? I am sorry for the temper. Your nana Angelina was the refuge for you from that. As also was your uncle Beni. Write the letter (One where I tell him I love him. I've missed him. I haven't spoken to him since Nana got sick and was taken from his caregiving to a nursing home. It wasn't good. I won't say anything more about it than that.).

My darling, I will. At once.

BOOKOFLUV

Who wrote the Book of Love?

I don't think it is found in Nature.

Seriously.

Birds do it. Bees do it. However that song goes...

Recently a colleague of mine proposed to his girlfriend. Like me, he is divorced and has children. He is a really nice guy, and the one I chose to do anesthesia for me when I had my surgery.

I was happy for him and watched the YouTube video of his proposal. He and his girlfriend often take walks with the dog on the beach. He had arranged for an architect to build a gorgeous sand castle with a larger-than-life sand book with the words, 'Will you marry me?' on it. There is a time lapse photography, and you can see the sand masterpiece being built. Then you watch the proposal. You see the look of shock on her face as she reads the words and he bends down on one knee, and pulls a little box out of his pocket. You see her shaking, and hugging him and saying, 'Yes!'. Then she is surprised to see his parents not far by.

There it was--the planning, the surprise, the beautiful ring. It sounds like Happily Ever After, doesn't it?

Well...let me tell you something guys...with my intuition something here on a deeper level is not right.

I met her at the Christmas party, and felt sorry for her.  She was 'biding her time' until he would 'commit'. It was very obvious as a woman. I thought, why doesn't he make an honest woman of her?

For some reason, for guys in general, and possibly for the ladies too, there is 'dating' and then 'commitment' and then 'marriage' where a whole lot of 'mental masturbation' is going on.

Mental masturbation is the term one of my Chairmen of Surgery used to use to describe Internists on rounds--instead of getting to the point they went deeper and deeper into the Differential Diagnosis, or 'What ELSE could possibly be going on?' These Internal Medicine teams ENJOYED IT--rounds that last FOREVER in a Surgeons eye. They lived in their head and could not make a decision to save someone's life in a timely manner. In surgery we just don't DO that. Patients would die.

So let us get inside the head of my colleague:

• The divorce had to be final and the custody set
• The kids had to like her
• He had to buy a house
• He had to get a steady job
• He had to plan the 'perfect engagement'.

This is a NICE guy. He is marriage-minded due to his faith and church. He is very family-oriented. But without his 'ducks in a row' that relationship was going nowhere. Fast.

Why do I have a problem with this? It is against Nature.

I look at the birds. It is Spring. Boy meets girl in the tree. They court. They do a mating 'dance' in this courtship. That's it. They mate for life (if you are a certain kind of bird). Or they just mate.

They build the nest together, as equals. They raise the chicks together, as equals. They fledge them out of the nest, together. 

There is no waiting for a ring! There is no one selling it. No one making it. No one selling bridal dresses either. And no Wedding Planners.

If you ask me, having been to divorce court not once but twice, and having to pay for all the legal fees for both of them, birds are smarter than us!

Which brings us to another point--boy birds are not abusive to girl birds either. None of that goes on. No cheating, no getting drunk, no getting boring or 'drifting apart'. Birds are birds! They have a good thing.

I apologize for the tone of this post. It is just that the disparity of the relationship, with the girlfriend having to be 'one man down' in the power balance really seems 'not right' to me. Society is whack, in this regard. In a big way. We have a lot to learn from the birds when it comes to being a couple.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc