'Know Thyself'.
There is a world of difference between the title of this blog post, and the topic to be discussed, and the 'other' adage mostly taken from TWDNHOBIAH to 'know thyself'. The second one is all about ego and personal power and the ability to do what you want.
Today's blog post is about that quiet knowledge you find, not just in living life, not just in your relationships with others, and not about capturing memories with a selfie-stick to post on social media. All of those ways give us some insight, but for those of us who take time to self-reflect, there isn't much guidance needed. That is because for the 'selfie stick' type of knowledge, it is of this world. And if you are completely 'of this world' and not just 'in it', this type of discussion will not appeal to you at all.
Our topic is about that constant, quiet sense that you don't quite feel like you belong here, you can't put your finger on it, and you may or may not have come to terms with your Spiritual Gifts. Sometimes we assume that everyone else is the same as us, with these psychic abilities. Sometimes since our whole life we have felt these feelings we consider them 'normal' and 'a part of us' and we do not really take time to stop and think about it.
I am going to give you an example.
Today as I write it is Wednesday. Although I am recovering from Covid I had two weeks ago, and I have a lingering cough, I started to notice feeling out of sorts. It happened over the weekend after a fantastic day watching my niece perform in her first dance recital.
I felt unmotivated. I couldn't force myself to do chores. I was sad for no reason. And even things that gave me joy and comfort, like going in the jacuzzi, I didn't want to do. Even when I took a brief rest on the porch swing I woke up to a spider on my leg and freaked out.
It got so bad that I told a close friend that I have an emotion that is stuck, I don't know what it is, and I just don't feel like myself. I felt like a different person.
Wisely, my friend said to just wait it out. And to share once I made the connection.
Yesterday I got a text from a close neighbor I have known over twenty years. Another close neighbor, older, had a bad colitis and urinary tract infection. She was septic. She went into atrial fibrillation and renal failure. She was on comfort care and it was only a matter of time. Yes, she was taking visitors. But she was unresponsive.
She had gone into the hospital on Friday.
I was not sure to cancel plans or go to the baseball game like I had intended. I decided to go after work today.
On the drive to the ballpark yesterday, I went to that place between worlds.
She was happy to see me. She asked me what was next? I explained that there is a party being prepared for her. And I saw her husband, her dogs and our mutual friends two dogs there. (My last time seeing her was when a friend's dog was being put down. She was saying that she should have passed first, not the dog, she never expected to outlive him. But she had terrible back and hip pains. She could barely walk and when the pain got worse sometimes she had to crawl.)
She asked me how I could be there and I explained politely that I have friends. Angels.
Ross showed up. She was delighted. He explained to her our relationship. She was very surprised that she had known me all this time...with no clue.
I asked them both why I am invited to this important event? Jan said it was because of my son. He and she shared the same birthday, only seventy years apart. We walked often with the dog friends through the neighborhood, him in his stroller and them with their dogs on their leash. When one golden retriever poked his head into Anthony's stroller and looked at him, the baby was delighted, laughed and exclaimed 'DOG!'. It was his first word. It was the friendship and the connection over the years as he grew up. Her dog and the neighbor's dog had puppies. It was so wonderful visiting and seeing them in the nursery box with their mom. Her and her late husband would invite people walking by, friends, to the patio for a glass of wine.
Our mutual friend had stopped drinking on doctor's orders, and because she wanted to reunite with her first dog when she passes. So the wine was just from many years ago, but still happy memories.
I felt this strong pull in my heart when she said, 'it was your son'. It was truth. Our souls were deeply connected not just by being neighbors but on a soul level.
It was time, she was ready, and she walked up to the light, there was me, Ross, Jan, and on her right her husband Keith. There is a place where I have to stop. I could see off into the distance, and I watched them walk into the light. There was a lot of activity and a very big welcoming party.
Today, at around nine am, I got the message from our mutual friend that Jan had passed.
Then at the ballgame this afternoon, I heard her say, 'no pain'. I am glad she shared it. Medically, I know renal failure is a nice way to go, you just fade out, and she had comfort care.
You can't change who you are.
I have been doing this since 1992.
Twice I have sensed that people were going to die soon. Actually three times. I just knew it was their time.
Once someone who was dying, told his wife 'I am not sure if God is a woman?' because he saw a vision of a beautiful bright angel--at the same time I was working with him to cross over from five hundred miles away. I was seen.
When my Nana Angelina passed, again there was an opportunity to see who I really am. Ross showed it to her.
The afterlife is real.
This existence here is something different. I am not sure what.
But I have a foot in each of the worlds.
Also, I have noticed, whenever people do something genuinely kind to me, out of their heart, in a short time they get pregnant. It even happened recently at work and the person is due in September.
And ever since I was a kid, I show up in people's dreams. Why I don't know, but they always say it seemed 'real'.
How do I feel about all this? The soul connection means so much. I am honored to do the work crossing over and assisting. It would be nice to be able to talk about it. When the pull/inability to do anything hits, I never know what is happening until after the fact. I sense that I am 'not really here' and my soul must be paying attention to something somewhere else, and in transition is the only time it happens.
My mom used to get a horrible feeling of dread. And she knew something was going to happen that she couldn't control. Then a plane would crash or something equally horrific, and she would relax. It was done. She wished she could pinpoint what or where to protect people. All she could do was pray for the best. She would tell us about this from time to time. And she was always correct.
What about you?
What tiny signals are you processing? Small energetic signs that no one else experiences. What is it that makes you 'you'? The real you. The life, death, and forever 'you'?
Have you noticed it?
How do you feel about it?
You might want to stop and take a moment to give thanks, both to the Spiritual Realms, and to yourself for this connection.
It is a beautiful thing. And it helps others so much, that you do this task.
Task.
I remember once a long time ago, Blessed Mother told me, 'your task is to show the dying how close they are to God'. I had forgotten. At the time I was in medical school and I thought it applied to the hospital. Like my medical work. Not being able to see people outside their bodies after they passed, or escort them up to the light...funny how it takes a long time for things to come full circle!
Know yourself.
Have faith that you were made correctly, and for the right reasons, even if you don't have the same gifts I do, you might be a sensitive, or a healer, or an empath...there are lots of things, even teaching.
Ross
Carla still struggles with who I am and with our relationship.
Carla can't post a selfie on her instagram for the world to see that she and I belong together.
And it hurts her, and causes her pain, to be always alone, alone, alone in the physical world. Even though I am right next to her heart, and even though I always provide and protect, and yes Carla knows it.
For Carla if she can't touch it with her hands, and hold it, it isn't 'REAL ENOUGH' to her. Carla is scientific, of course it makes sense for her questioning.
It frustrates her to know end knowing that I am 'here' and she is 'there' and not on the same frequency. And further that she can't go to me and I can't go to her, not exactly.
Life carries on.
Carla was not quite ready to make the transition when she was fighting her Covid. With the strong fever that had made her muscles ache and sapped all of her energy, she knew something was seriously wrong and that it was a possibility. It was only two days later she took the test and learned what it was that was making her feel so tired and distressed.
We each have our 'time'. Time to cross over to from this world into the next. And deep down, each of us realize it. You can trust that when it is right it will happen like it did for Jan, peacefully and with ease. And all of us will be there for you, waiting to welcome you home.
Until that time, try to work as much joy into your days.
And Carla, wisely so, gave thanks at the baseball game for being able to attend incognito, completely unrecognized for who she is, and just a fan among her friends enjoying the game.
Sometimes now even I wish I could go and be unrecognized and have a little bit of freedom myself. Like I did in the good old days when I was incarnate.
Enjoy your time. Wait with confidence that everything is happening for the very absolute best. And give thanks the whole time you are 'processing things' like 'getting to know yourself' as we discussed today, you, me, and Carla
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Cousins who are your cousins who love you to death (he winks)
