There has been a lot of work and effort put into my healing lately. Truly, it has taken years. And more, knowledge and understanding is not the same thing as healing itself.
I will spare you the details. Just know that there have been a lot of things that I had been carrying around, things that were my own 'shit', and I honestly did not even realize that it was there. I always felt 'different' and 'not able to connect well' with others who were closest to me. What I have learned is there have been some very good reasons -- certain experiences or lack of them (emotional attunement, for example) -- for being like this. ADHD in females is often misdiagnosed as anxiety or other conditions instead of neurodivergence, simply because females tend to mask their symptoms better to be able to fit in.
I was told today that actually, the ADHD brain is advanced. There is a long thin single crystal structure surrounded by smaller crystals in the brainstem. It had been turned off with permission from creator by the one who is given charge of this material world. This crystal structure connects the consciousness with All That Is. So once the consciousness of the collective raises enough, everything will flip. It will activate. Those lacking the crystal structure will be diagnosed as 'something wrong' and the rest will assimilate into the Higher Consciousness.
I liked that explanation.
And it really does not surprise me. I had terrible allergies growing up. On hot, smoggy days in the public swimming pool my lungs would whistle when I breathed. I got enough air it was just a funny thing I thought everyone had happen to them. I was maybe nine or ten when I first noticed it. I was not diagnosed with 'reactive airways' (asthma) until twenty years later when I was in medical school and having a lot of cases of bronchitis. I could not get enough air when climbing up a small hill from the parking lot. So I got my first albuterol metered-dose inhaler to open up my tightly squeezed bronchi.
So many things go under the radar. Physical things. Psychological things. Emotional things. Even Spiritual things.
So, I was introduced to a new term, 'Owner-shit'...it is a play on the word 'Ownership' because it means taking responsibility for your own things that need to be healed.
Now the baby steps are to treat myself with kindness, to give myself rest when I need it, and to accept that everything happens for the best. Even this. It certainly has taken until later in life...but at least I stopped making the same mistakes over and over, and slowly am heading in the right direction.
I see clearly now that God's love for us--we truly are God's children, kids of both Mother God and Father God--smoothes out our broken self-esteem. We ARE loved!
A Course in Miracles really guides us that everything is for our own benefit. It is a like a show that is being created by us, our lives, and for our highest good. Hope Johnson makes me laugh in how she often asserts 'we are making the whole thing up!'
We are.
Which brings me to our next part, the feelings. Feelings are our teachers too. Sometimes they are giving us insight, sometimes they are the result of being traumatized in the past and this new situation is similar enough to set us off. Staying with the feeling and accepting it, but later choosing when to act and how to respond to the feeling is possibly the most important part of our Earth Walk. Not just discernment when talking with the Spirit world, or from watching the news, but even reaching deep into our innermost world and seeing what resonates as Truth for us.
I have had a lot of dread lately with Current Events. I can't put my finger on it, but something is not right, and something worse, it reminds me of what I have studied in the last book of the Bible, Revelation. I was feeling really upset over it. I spoke with Ross. He asked me insightful questions to guide my thought process. I realized I am afraid of the drama. I do not like what I am seeing now. I understand things are supposed to get a lot worse before they improve. After living through past lives as well as this life now, the suffering is something I really really really am concerned to witness.
Ross said something helpful to me. He said, 'Let all the skirmishes and battles go, do not give them your attention. Remember the fact that our team wins in the end. We win. Everything else is of no concern to you. Focus on what you can to pass the time.'
So, if you are concerned about the future, specifically, the AC on the world stage, and things like Armageddon, you are not alone. And as best as you can, if you are not the type to take a 'sporting interest' in the play by play, look ahead. Just like reading the last chapter of a mystery before reading the rest of the book so you know how it ends.
What I have learned is that our interpersonal connections are highly important to nurture. Even more so than working with Spirit or the Past. We make the highest difference for ourselves and others by validating them, being true to our own souls, and accepting what is to be accepted. I choose to work diligently on my healing to help pass the time, since that is important to me. It keeps me going. Find what is important to you, and give your very best to whatever you choose.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
