So, what's been going on over here, in my life?
Stomach is better. Anthony is better. I still have a lingering cough, so does he, but all in all, health is much improved.
The house? It's messier than ever.
I realized yesterday with my work hours being as long as they are (at work till five or six most days), I'm lucky to keep up with cooking, dishes, and laundry. It's even difficult to put in self-care.
And spiritually?
I've been blessed with incredible growth.
Things I never would have guessed are coming out of me. Things that I've been carrying inside for way too long.
Living with Ross was like living with someone who was crazy, back in the day. He didn't listen. He had a side to him I couldn't understand/reach/access.
When we were little he had been very consistent, I thought I knew him.
So now, in my meditations, this annoyance, this discomfort, of life with someone who just was nuts, is coming up. The frustration of doing my very best for him, to help him, every single day. To no appreciation by him for it, whatsoever.
I confided in him this morning how we never spoke of our emotions, and emotions are the most important part of a close family relationship. It was horrible living that kind of life!
I even said how it's difficult for us now, since, where he is, he doesn't really FEEL emotions like I do, and we don't even talk about them now.
He was a stubborn, headstrong, genius hell-bent on doing what in his mind what 'the right thing to do'. And I loved him. I lived my life with him as best as I could. And it totally broke my heart.
Healing isn't always unicorns and rainbows, friends.
You got to get all that stuff out.
Can you imagine how much trust I have in Ross right this minute now, to be sharing with him all these things? I know he's better. I know he would never do it again. He knows it probably wasn't the best of him back then, but he was just learning and I was just learning and...He promised me today if he had one more chance it would be different.
I believe him.
It resonates with my heart center more than anything.
He had me lie still, and tell him what the worst part about our life back then was.
And it was the lack of being in touch with our emotions as a couple.
What did he do next?
If you're really healers, really working hard with your guides, what he did next won't surprise you.
If you're kind of not fully invested in the process, you'll laugh at what he told me to do next.
I'm serious.
He wanted me to play about ten minutes worth of my favorite game on my phone to calm me down and he could work on my energy, to focus it.
He wanted me to have two pieces of chocolate from a little gift box I was going to give someone but hadn't.
Then I went out into the garden, to help take care of my citrus. I'm removing leaves that have citrus leaf miners in them. And spraying everything with organic neem oil treatment.
Then I wrote.
You see, when you are between worlds, like I am, it takes a lot of energy to go deep, then to connect with Source/Guides, then come back here to life a 'normal' (polite cough) 'life'. Your guides will help you.
What else is going on?
Only recently I've figured out what I want. What my goals are. And later I will invest time in myself to work towards one of these goals.
The rest of the time I'll take care of the house, run errands, do chores, and make the most of this unexpected day off from work.
Why do I share?
Because the healing process frankly, surprises me with its twists and turns. Remember, I am very open to healing, I want to feel better, I want to be the best person I can be, especially in preparation for my eventual return home or reuniting with Ross here whichever comes first.
There's lots of people that don't even want to heal.
There's even more people who hide their need to heal by wanting to 'fix others'--not being a resource to others who seek them--but kind of co-dependently chasing the 'walking wounded'.
It is our hope you drop your fears of healing.
If is our goal that you find yourself comfortable with working with your guides and the Unseen.
And it is our joy if you find yourself unburdening yourself of old past hurts, and all that weight, by sticking with the Process. And Trusting in the Plan.
Be who you are, Right Now, in touch with Your Feelings, and be Open to whatever Spirit guides you.
It's really nice. And helps put things in perspective, as to 'why you are here' and 'who you really are' and 'what motivates you'.
We are Creator Beings. And we are meant to create and experience the Divine everywhere we go.
Part of it is having strict, impeccable Mental Hygiene -- shifting towards positive thoughts, acknowledging negative ones but not dwelling on them. This helps align you with the Law of Attraction. Too Manifest.
Then unburdening yourself is making you even stronger to be able to Manifest and enjoy all of your Spiritual Gifts and share them with the world.
Ross
Carla has been through a lot because of me. And even more for what she put herself through in trying to distance herself from me.
For our hearts have never been better, never been more open, and never been more honest with one another.
As her guide, I am considerably impressed with her growth and her efforts.
I commend you to watch her as a template for your own growth and healing. Everyone, even me, has something to heal. Everyone!
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple
