I am in the middle of some very huge changes at work. Sometimes when you go through changes you get additional confirmation, kind of like signs to let you know everything is going to be okay.
This one has three signs. I can't believe it. First, one of the people I dreaded to work with at the new position decided to take my old position. The person is fine...but due to their culture they 'push' a little 'more' than in my culture to get what they want. I smile because that person declined outpatient originally saying that they needed 'x' amount of dollars a month to survive. I have seen at best two thirds and usually half of that amount every month. So they are in for a surprise, and I am not saying anything.
The second sign is that my co-Chief Resident from training, who had been running three outpatient facilities, also jumped ship. Now the position will be corporate, he has an MBA, and is going to run a large multi specialty group. The timing is about the same. My sense of 'something is wrong with outpatient surgery' is really validated. Not only are the patients getting sicker and the cases moving faster, but the reimbursements are very low. I see one third of all cases at the facility I work at go without anesthesia, either a nurse does the sedation or a patient has local anesthesia only.
The last one was a shock! A leader in a local anesthesia group just 'retired' suddenly. This was because of politics with the hospital, and the younger anesthesiologists had a meeting and deliberately excluded the 'older anesthesiologists'.
Deep deep down, my gut has sensed that I am being moved to be spared something that is coming down the road. I can't put my finger on it. My guess is a closure like when Covid hit and only emergency cases could go. But it is a random guess, I do not know. A sister facility where my Chief Resident friend works is looking for new proposals from anesthesia groups. And the anesthesia 'coup' was at a sister hospital.
I have to apply for new health insurance. My coverage has been the same for ten years, a Covered California Obamacare plan. But over the last two years, all of my friends I work with in the OR have stopped taking that insurance. The reimbursements are too low. So you might want to check your 'in network' if you are on a similar policy. I am grateful the surgery center and hospital still take it. But for the price it's not so good if you can't go to primary care, your gynecologist, or other specialists.
How am I feeling?
That is a very, very good question. I've been avoiding feelings. They are not my strong point. I can see clearly with my old outpatient anesthesia group the dysfunction (we were not paid for two months!). I see the passive aggression, the lack of leadership, and denial of responsibility. I was in my masculine for two years and it was really hard on my system. Back at the hospital my hours will be longer, which is a good thing because I do not do much with the extra time when I work outpatient--I just sit and wait for the scheduling we do at four pm for the following day.
How do I feel about Big Things? You know the Life, Death, Forever ones? I see it coming. The secondary confirmation thing needed online is really getting out of hand. Anthony had some trouble with a credit card not working, and in trying to straighten it out, I had to verify myself by phone text secret code like after every screen I went through on their website. There was no phone number to call, no way to get help, and finally a chat box came up. I ended up with that and then also calling the tiny number on the back of the credit card. These 'validations' to me are just one degree removed from that thing in your hand or forehead so you can buy or sell. Food prices are scary. We may not be 'there' yet but I can see it off in the distance.
Does it disturb me? A little, because I love looking at old vintage footage of cities in the 1950's and I feel sad how things have really gotten worse compared to that. The architecture and the clothing was beautiful. I also know that once things get really bad, it means resolution on the other end of that tunnel is even closer. Whether I am alive or not by that resolution, no one can know, but that resolution is right on the tails of the awfulness. And I pray day and night for everything to be over, to resolve, and for life to be beautiful for everyone again.
If you are in the System, I do not fault or blame you. It just IS. And I know there is a lot of training that has gone into the End of Times--you might not even be aware that you carry such training under the edge of your awareness. But for those of you who are in the System, and who have a love and respect for what is Good, and who choose to act on it, wow! You are one of the best of the best and I applaud you for your strength and courage!! Know that I and many are cheering you on in your efforts!
No matter what, if you are experiencing changes or looking to changes or just doing your best to make sense of everything, focus on everything around you, on what is at hand. Take the opportunity to LOVE everyone, and let it be known how you cherish them. God is with you. There are legions of angels watching and sending protection and love and healing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Enjoy Nature, the sky, the birds, the breezes...be present and know there are gifts being sent to you every day from Heaven.
That is enough for today.
Ross nods in agreement.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Good Ones
