Momi

You are beautiful, Ross said, just a few minutes ago.

He said this while I was in tears.

He encouraged me to put on my new pendant.

I confided to him how scared and afraid I had been to witness the emotions, of my pre-adolescent son, and how I didn't know what to do, and how I was in a world of pain...I was so very tired of being strong, and for having to be 'on' to be heading things off at the pass with that boy emotionally..

And the moment the necklace went on, in a flash, I understand the lesson of momi (moh-mee)- the Hawaiian word for pearl--that very beautiful lessons come out of confusion, fear, and pain.


Win A Pearl:
I should have known when the woman before us at the Dole Plantation counter three days ago was miffed at the Maui Divers sales woman.  I easily read the body language. But my son remembered opening an oyster two years ago, and I thought it might be nice to just buy one oyster for each. (He had just pulled a fifty percent off a pearl coupon from the basket and was very happy).

This lady was something else! Very single minded, very pushy, telling him so thick that 'your mother needs this jewelry' that even my nine-year old got upset. She is the ONLY person at any pearl facility who automatically drilled a hole in the pearl first, without asking. (as a matter of fact, ever since I got my first pearl at Marineland in Palos Verdes when I was nine, I have never, ever had one of my pearls mounted OR drilled.)

We settled on a very small turtle pendant made of gold to mount his beautiful, pink pearl he picked from his oyster. We opted out of the chain she encouraged us to buy. And I also refused a credit application that would have saved me fifty dollars (the interest rate was twenty-six percent!).

'Turtles are lucky!' the sales lady said, as she wrapped it. (they have it all figured out, pink pearls mean love, white ones mean happiness and dark ones mean wisdom).

I thought the expense was worth it for my son to run into one of these women like her--all about the sale, faking that it was all about you, and not taking 'no' for an answer--it was a valuable lesson that will teach him what traits are a huge red flag in a potential mate!


The Chain:
I wanted to look at a store at the Ala Moana mall tonight. The place had changed since I fell in love with it ten years ago. I couldn't recognize it. Just two years ago it had it's 'look'--a breezy, simple mall with some nice stores, but understated tropical theme. They are still adding on to it, and I had to use Navigation to find it when I was only three minutes away.

This jewelry store I was interested in advertised with a sign that said sixty percent off, and I got a fine gold chain for only forty dollars.

I had wanted some earrings, too, so we looked, and my son found a beautiful pair with very small diamonds, at a super reasonable price, that matched the necklace he had bought for me for my birthday. With Ross' symbol on it. I put them on and wore them home.


The Diamond:
Earlier today, I packed a lunch and we made a short trip to Honolulu to Diamond Head State Monument. It was ninety-two degrees. I brought cold water and also a spray fan device. It's strenuous, I won't kid you. Ten years ago I danced ballet with the Hawaii State Junior Company for class to keep in shape while I was at conference for work here and one week away from my studio. (I danced two hours about five times a week, and performed.) And back THEN, I could barely breathe up the ascend! But the view was remarkable.

As you may know, my son has some weight issues, and on top of that, some emotional concerns due to bullying.

I took all of my patience and kindness and encouragement to coax him up that hill. I knew it would build confidence. As it turned out, both his father and teacher never let him rest on strenuous activities--they just yelled at him for falling behind. So we took breaks, I squirted both of us when it got hot, and we took the stairs up 'to the military part'--stairs that go almost straight UP.

On the way down, excited, he encouraged the weary ones going up, that the view was 'so WORTH it!!!'.

He had also helped me get over my fear of heights, too.

It was really good.


Can't Say No:
Ross said, 'Buy him sunglasses' when we were at the Oakley store, and his heart was set on a pair that was one hundred sixty dollars.

I said no.

A nine year old does not need fancy sunglasses. They get lost. He never wears them--has several pairs of decent but much much cheaper ones.

I asked him if I have to pay one hundred fourteen dollars (a clearance Shaun White pair) for him to know I love him?

In my heart of hearts, I knew he wanted them because he is interested in being 'older'. I also knew that he wouldn't like the 'sale' ones once we got home. And more--I knew he would ask me for something else about thirty seconds after we bought them.

He said something, I lost my temper and he started crying and saying he wanted to die. I managed to get us up to the car, but he had the worst emotional meltdown I have seen since he threatened suicide about one month ago. All of the pain from the bullying, all of the anger, all of the rage, all of the hate,  all of the loneliness, came out as he writhed and screamed in the car...

I couldn't drive like that. It wasn't safe.

I couldn't calm him down, and neither could he.

I came that close to calling 911 to take him to a psychiatric ER.

The security guy on the bike came by. He said several people complained about how I was yelling at my son.

I explained politely the situation, how he is under the care of a professional, I thought he might need to go to the hospital, and how I can't drive safely with him like this.  He understood, and said, in true Hawaiian aloha--you can take all the time that you need.

After that, my boy calmed, and as I drove us away,  he shared more about the bullying, and how his teacher called people 'guilty' when they did something wrong, and the emotional toll this last year has been on him at school was such a heavy load for him to bear.


The Lifesaver:
Whoever suggested the Insulin Resistance Diet book, truly, has saved both of our lives. It is working. We have done this now for about two weeks.

My son ate protein for dinner, and for his carb, wanted ice cream. He asked the Haagen Dazs lady for the nutritional guide--she gave him a notebook binder with plastic sheets--and the chocolate ice cream was within his carb limits for the meal.

I see him getting more features in his face and his body going slimmer, and also not having the terrible hunger he used to get like before. It's helping me too, to break that cycle of low blood sugar.

It's set us free.


The Night:
I know from Ross, that our son--(he is the Spiritual Father, he asked me ten years ago at my room in the W Hotel on Diamond Head--I didn't know him at the time but he was 'some guy who seemed interested in my answer' when Blessed Mother asked if I would like to have a baby?  With the biological father, once I got back home from conference, there was one time we were together where his face completely transformed, the new face glowed, and looked very much like Owen Wilson with long hair--of all people! I was pregnant about four weeks after that.)--that our son is going to be okay.

As I lay next to our boy, at his request to help him sleep, I was torn and so tearful when Ross asked gently, 'did you have a hard day?'

I went to my room once the breathing was of sound sleep from the child, and I lost it. I told Ross I was scared.  I was confused. At the same time, I realized we had a lot of important 'stuff' come up from my son's sharing his feelings and my doing what the counselor said and validating his feelings...I also realized that this chakra is WAY out of whack and needs some attention

Ross also said that the trick with our son is to let him think he has the choices and the decisions, when in fact he does not. Like a friend of mine said, 'you make a list of the things the kids can do for vacation activities and you let them pick'.


Momi:
The oyster has a lot of pain from an irritant inside it as it grows.
This is what becomes the lustrous pearl, which shines so beautifully in the light.
The ugly oyster has the best pearls.
I discovered this by accident, when the sales lady at Maui Divers at Dole, had let me pick the pearl oyster that comes 'free' with a purchase. She got four out from under the counter. Ross told me to pick the ugly one (I didn't know that's how it works) and to my surprise two beautiful pink matching pearls came out of the oyster! (she had wanted to sell us earrings)

While the oyster is smoothing away the irritant on the inside, that takes energy that would otherwise go to making a pretty, and symmetrical oyster. Therefore, 'the uglier the oyster, the more beautiful the pearl', and in my case, twin pearls.

I even heard a sales lady--a different one at a different stand at the store (there are three at the plantation)--tell a couple to 'pick the ugliest one'.

They did and got a beautiful dark one that was larger than usual, and the couple was delighted with their find!


So when life 'get you down', I want you to remember two things:

• you ARE beautiful--or handsome--whichever term you prefer.  You ARE!
• maybe life is throwing you a momi--a pearl--and soon you will understand the nature of the lesson.

No wonder why that pearl came to me...to give me hope right now as I wear it around my neck...and to let me know when it comes to my beloved, handsome son...there is a momi lesson for me in being a single parent, with a helping hand from my Twin Flame, and husband from another life who has found me in this dimension because I am a medium and can 'sense' such things...

It is my hope that perhaps this 'lesson' may 'resonate' with you, and give you comfort in times of distress, too.

Ross also let me know that the energies are strong in supporting the powers of manifestation, and that for those who think 'negatively', those feelings are going to magnify the outcomes at this time. This applies for everyone! So keep your positive outlook UP as best you can...

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Reiki Doc and Ross who loves both her and their little one very much.



P.S. I have been on vacation in Hawaii, but kept it out of the blogs, at Ross' request for some privacy. It is okay now to let you know. Namaste.

Anatomy Of A 'Lesson'

What is wrong with this picture?

I see it every day. One the surface, with 3D eyes, it look like a patient is reading and entertaining himself.

But with 5D? It is a person whose energy imbalance or 'Dis-Ease' has gotten so out of control that their 'vehicle' or body is TELLING THEM all System Alert! Fix Imbalance NOW and needing to be in the hospital to fix it!!! And they are blithely continuing the SAME behaviors that made them get the Dis-Ease 'Imbalance' in the first place, right in their Hospital Bed!!!!!

What is a health-care worker to do?

They can't listen. They are too wrapped up in themselves to 'take a hint' in the physical OR the spiritual.

And there are some who even an experienced physician or nurse wants to be no part of if they can help it. Yesterday I was 'on deck' for a case I didn't want to do--let me just say it was the consequence of advanced advanced advanced end-stage liver disease, and the patient was still drinking. It was going to be stinky, bloody, and a mess. Many good-hearted donors had given their blood to 'save a life'. I'm sure this was not the life they had envisioned when the needle got put in their arm.  This isn't to judge whether liver-disease and other self-induced chronic incurable diseases are the patient's 'fault' or not. What it is meant to say is that sometimes these imbalances are not pretty in any way, and leave a lot of mess not just for the employers, friends, and family to contend with, but also those of us who work in the hospital too.

In the meantime, I have been having the sense of being in chains, and 'held back' in my own Spiritual Development. The work I do takes pretty much every waking moment I can no longer bring in a book or a calendar or make plans for anything or talk on the phone when in the O.R. (I used to do this, all anesthesia does, because you have to make a dental appointment when the dentist is open--and our work is the most actually between cases, preparing and setting up.) The surgeons are too quick, and they like a fast turnover.  So once I set foot in the hospital, my life 'stops' and is 'on hold' in just about every way, as I take care of my patients.

But my heart was saying, 'I really am uncomfortable with my Lesson and where it is right now. I want to go and have a talk with God.'

So I went outside.

It is AMAZING the clarity of mind one gets when one goes out the building.  (I had a one hour delay before the surgeon was available--I wouldn't just 'walk' unless there was a 'gap'. We wait around a lot for surgeons.)

C: God? I am 'stuck' in my Lesson. I just can't get it. I don't feel good about where I am and I want to move past it but I keep making the same mistakes!

G: What is your most painful moment?

C: When?

G: What is the most painful thing you ever had to do?

C: Report Dad.

G: Why was that painful? What was the most painful part about that?

C: I had to choose. Between him and my son.

G: And?

C: Dad was so selfish and messed up he would even try what he did with my kid!

G: And what else? What else was painful about it?

C: I really loved Dad. I worshipped him! (I suddenly remembered how when I was twenty-one, mom took me aside and gently told me not to look up to him so much--he 'poked' his sister when they shared a bed, and caused great trouble to the family. There was a pattern. I also remembered his confession after he had passed, through medium Tim Braun, that 'he was very smart and had everyone fooled but because I inherited his mind I was the only one that figured it out. He meant no harm; he was bored. He had mental instability, and was surprised he 'stuck around alive' as long as he did. He was deeply depressed and actually jealous of my opportunities when I became ready for college. He felt his life was 'over' and mine was 'just beginning'.--we made Peace.)

G: What was good about the experience?

C: I could protect my son, and report anonymously, and keep the peace in the family. (The paternal side of the family took the 'rap'--our little one had made confessions not just to me, but sordid ones at the dinner table in front of his dad and grandparents and uncle, too. Social services encouraged me to 'continue contact but never let them be alone together'--because the relationship is important to the child's growth, and the predator was on hospice now, anyway.)

G: Did it work?

C: Yes.

G: What is beyond that causing the hurt?

C: My daddy always kept people emotionally at arm's length. He was nice, and taught me to bat and to throw, and never touched me--but I feel rejected by him on some level. My most important male role figure, my father, was emotionally unavailable to me growing up.

G: And what is the pattern which causes you pain?

C: Deep down I believe men are always going to hurt me and reject me.

G: Is this true?

C: No. Nannu Filippo was always there for me. He didn't talk about feelings, but I knew he understood them and respected mine. He provided unselfishly for his family, he shared what he loves to do (gardening, coin collecting), never tried to 'convince' me of anything. He accepted me for who I am, and as I got older, and more beautiful, his love for me grew with pride in all of my accomplishments and just plain growing up. He let me know it with hugs, his smile, and calling me 'My queen, my queen, my queen.'

G: And?

C: That is why I grieved his loss for so long. Why I bought him flowers every week for his grave for ten years (until I became a mom and he said, in spirit, 'save your money'.) That is why everybody came to his funeral. He was a good man.

G: So other good men exist, and are kind and loving and honest?

C: Yes.


This is the kind of focused 'learning' that comes with a Guide, in my case, I called the Guide, 'God'--and it felt like Him. His questioning was gentle, he reworded things to make a point, and he always expected me to 'figure it out'.

This is how Life Lessons 'work' in the Fifth Dimension--in our new Vibration; we can ask for help.

How do I feel now? Well, I see lifetimes of trauma to my Divine Feminine. I also see how I have made the same mistake over and over and over in my choice of partners. Although I see 'the error of my ways' I also feel like I want to 'clean up the wounds' .

Gaia is a Prison Planet.

We are like Australia once was, a prison colony. We are 'fenced in' by the Veil by our 'Supervisors' (Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart). They talked a good story, got the contract, and then went Rogue on the planet. This is why everywhere you turn there is something from 'them' to 'keep us in line' and 'keep our numbers down'. If you don't believe me, look for things that are marketed as 'fun' and 'good for you and healthy'. I see right through the lies. Most people can't. But more and more people are 'waking up' to this horrible truth. (This is why the Resistance Movement is working on the Liberation of The Planet. That same 'team' of Supervisors used to cover many other places, and have been kicked out from everywhere else to this last hold, this corner of the galaxy, and us.)

The reason I bring all of this up is that we are going to each need individualized healing on a very deep soul level to become fully functional in 5D. We have scars, ticks, fleas, and who knows on a soul level what else? The healing is titrated to each individual using Light, and Vibration/Sound. It is very pleasant, and even though the one I went in looked 'funny', it didn't hurt. It didn't 'change' me, and I felt much better when I emerged. (It happened in meditation during a nap I was taking on the couch.--here's the blog post:

• http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-light-box.html
• http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2012/09/how-i-got-into-light-box.html
• http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2012/08/physical-changes-after-light-box.html

So here I am embarrassed and sad because I know deep in my bones, the thing I want to do in life more than anything--explore a healthy relationship--Isn't going to happen until I go back to that Light Box some more for a good healing! I'd just end up doing the same things, right?

The angels say, 'No' and wave their hands at me right now. Their job is to encourage hope.

So, the point of this whole long essay is that once you 'see' with 5D eyes, you're going to take a look at yourself and go, 'Oh No! What HAPPENED?!' because you will understand the 'wear and tear' the 3D 'experience' has on a soul. And you'll want it fixed. Right away. But you can't. And it makes you sad. But the angels say, 'Have Hope'. (Even this morning my guide asked, can you make it one more day? Just one more day? And I said, 'no. the pain is too great. I can't do it. I've had enough of this 'reality' and I don't accept it any more.)

I think I'll go and make breakfast. I've had enough of this lesson for now. Harry Bird is twenty-four years old today! His favorite is French Toast. I think we'll have us a little celebration before we head off to school. I have the day off. You might hear more from me later. I hope you don't mind my sharing with you; I hope it will be easier when it is your 'turn' for 'lessons' so you will 'know what to expect'. 

Go in Nature.

Ask for Help.

Forgive Yourself and Others.

Prepare to be kind of surprised perhaps in a not-so-nice way, but Spirit is okay with it--it's part of the learning.

Give yourself Time to 'assimilate' what you have learned.

Be totally honest with yourself and Spirit, and trust that 'help is on the way' with the Resistance Movement, the Divine, and Source.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Cruelty is a Toxin

This is your native state of existence: rainbows and butterflies, in harmony with Nature.

Any step away from that is not healthy for you. Both on an energetic level and a physical level, you will take a step toward imbalance. And when imbalance becomes a habit, sometimes the entire energy body and physical body can't 'bounce back into balance'. Physical and mental illness is the result.

How do you feel when your foot goes down and you hear the crunch of a snail's shell as you step?

Does it make you cringe? Does it make you laugh? Do you not give it a second thought?

Now is the time to examine our choices that we make. Although 'everyone is doing it' might seem like a proper answer, the questions are being asked only of you.

• 'Will you continue to permit pain and suffering on a global level on our planet?'
• 'Will you look the other way when another creature suffers?'
• 'What can you do, in your own way, to relieve suffering in your midst?'

The answer will depend on the situation you are in, I know.

But when you cross to The Other Side, you are going to see the answer of your lifetime of choices. It will be plainly and painfully clear if you have erred on the side to support cruelty. 

And you will make choices to balance your Karma in your next life experience.

The judge, lawyer, and jury is you. Why not start to examine your self better today? So you may have an easier time of it at the End.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

'

Dear Patient

Dear Patient,

I want you to know that I love you.

In the almost three weeks I have spent without you, I discovered something important. You see, when I left to have my operation, I thought that I would be comfortable the rest of my life if I never saw you or took care of you again. I was that sick of being a shoulder you could cry on. I was that tired of being just another cog in the industrial medical complex.

In my experience as patient, I grew. I saw your horrors first hand. I saw bewilderment, as different people told me different things, and many did not do what they said they would do. My warm blanket never came. People did not hook me back up to the monitor. No one really cared that I was sick to my stomach or felt weak. It was like an assembly line, and I was just another product being processed through the system.

I saw the world through your eyes.

Isn't it humbling, the great equalizer of all, the hospital gown, and having to wear it?

That quiet call in my heart as I was home myself, recovering, it was for you. For all my life, my calling has to become a doctor. I jumped through many hoops to get through the training. It was my dream come true, in my heart. Being a doctor 'is not like on T.V.' my mother and I say to ourselves, It is an inside joke.

But I missed the part of me that can be there for you.

Last night, as I reflected on my first day back, at L&D, I thought about my patients. The husband, who after asking his questions on behalf of his wife, said, 'I put my trust in you'. When I got to the room, I was surprised, for she was writhing in pain and screaming with each contraction. When I left the room, she was quietly resting, with her head on the pillow and a half smile on her face. The look in your eyes of gratitude made me feel the struggle to get to be her anesthesiologist, all those years, was worthwhile.

We later went to c-section, your baby did not fit. And everything worked out for the best. Your child is beautiful and watching the birth was something I was lucky to be able to do. You do not know it but I was praying for her and you the whole time, with a thing called Reiki.

The first-time mom, with the excellent control of the pain for her contractions, got a 'set it and forget it' epidural. Inserted at eight cm dilation, she sat back with a smile, and every time I checked she gave me a big thumbs up. The entire family, from husband to grandma to auntie, were glad for the gift of taking away the terror of contractions of childbirth.

And the last, you were in the ER. A terrible spinal headache. You simply could not take the pain any more. I did a blood patch. You didn't believe me, but you knew you were there and there were no other options, so you took it. One hour later, when you sat up, the look of relief on your face, and that of your husband's, made my day. I knew the agony of post-dural puncture headache all too well. And I feel a great satisfaction when I resolve it, doing what I have been taught to do.

For you see, when I treat your pain and suffering, I treat my own.

And the world is a better place because of our interaction.

Be free and be well.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc