I was changing my sheets, and I felt Spirit. I lay down on the down blanket on the floor.
Ross arrived, we exchanged greetings, and then he stepped back.
I saw Archangel Michael, very close. He wanted to be there, he had something important, I can tell. Like him, it's also very difficult for me to keep secrets.
I was excited to see him because I sensed he had something to share and had come just for me.
He asked me how are you? How are things going?
I said okay, I suppose, I'm really benefitting from the time I'm taking that I need. I feel freer, I'm making progress. But as I was answering, I sensed I wasn't getting it, the question, as he was asking.
He rephrased it.
How about with me?
I saw his blue eyes, they looked into mine earnestly, there is intensity to them I can't describe. And I struggled to find the words...we have something we are working on, sort of a lesson I want to get him to understand, and I've told Divine Mother about it even. I sensed he was asking about THAT, and my perception of him in general. These Archangels are highly interested in how we perceive them, why, I'm not sure, but it fascinates them how we have our own way of looking at things that is unique.
Grateful. Grateful to see you, grateful for the healing.
Relax--no, relief, no, um....and I let out a big breath of air as in 'whew, the scary part is over I can relax now' regarding my growth.
I still wasn't happy with how I was describing what I couldn't describe, but then my soul spoke, and I said with my heart, 'more helping than pain.'
He's caused me pain, in the past, that's what I've spoken to Divine Mother about. I guess he knew, it's not like here where people don't know that they cause you pain, and you can just never once talk about it your whole life, if no one brings it up to discuss.
He stopped me, and was very glad I came up with that important point about BALANCE. He asked me to write this for you and everyone who is healing. It is like a yardstick to use to measure the energy shifts in your perception as you grow, and for me to reach this had taken a long time, a very long time, on a soul level.
'More helping than hurting' or 'more helping than causing pain' is the concept.
He asked me to break my time off from writing just to write this lesson for him to share with you, our readers.
I'll leave you with some fantastic photos I found searching for this one, the one above, he picked personally, because I sensed he thought it looks cool. Also images like this are helpful for the psyche in these times, as well as positive programming for the outcome of this Spiritual war we are in.
Chapel of Archangel Michael. The Belukha Massif two peaks Eastern Belukha 4509 m and Western Belukha 4435 m A beautiful autumn landscape, Russia, Siberia, mountain Altai, Katunsky ridge.
I could stare at this picture forever. It is so beautiful. If you are looking at it on a phone you really should get on a laptop to get the effect.
The cave of the Archangel Michael Panormitis found near the old town in Rhodes, Greece.
The influence of Michael is all over the globe! From the mountains to the sea, from Siberia to antiquity in Greece...this is a hint to how the Schumann makes the white. It is in partnership with Gaia and the loving energy that flows through their hearts.
Thank you Michael. Your energy is much appreciated, and Gaia needs your energy, now more than ever.
Ross says thank you, and also, since Michael is a guest, to let him sign this instead of us.
Love,
Mike of the lesson on what causes help instead of causing pain and suffering
(that is exactly what Archangel Michael said to sign him off as so I will. <3 )
I have a little notebook. There is a silhouette of a stag on it. And in it, I dutifully follow the exercise given in the last video about Childhood Emotional Neglect.
It's helping.
I feel vulnerable.
It feels good to put a word on that feeling, to be able to communicate it. The world of feelings is a difficult one for me to navigate.
It makes me sad to experience a world where one unhappy student can speak out in a safe place, and attack me--they would never say it was an attack of course, it would be a defense, right, nobody ever attacks. But we live in a world where there is ego, there is Spirit, and there are so many combinations of the two...from the information war, to the ASSC, to having to expose myself to risk at my work that can kill me just so I can earn a living...not to mention the things that happened to me growing up that made me who I am...
I'm coming to terms and to accept I have a disability. It is a painful one. It doesn't show. I am a survivor of uncomplicated PTSD, and complicated PTSD (from the babysitter who was drunk, Carrie, the Hungarian woman. I even spoke fluent Hungarian at age two--I've never learned Italian fluently, but I was so desperate as a baby I learned and I learned quick how to communicate). At to that my Asperger's tendencies...and knowing what I know with my medical training it totally sucks.
It hurts and makes me feel like I am less of a person.
I want only to be close and feel that warmth and nurturing with people I care about.
My attachment ability is all ruined. Once I have someone in my life, by the grace of the Divine--I'm okay--I'm able to function. I'm not able to ask for my needs and set boundaries as well as I should though. It's so lonely it breaks my heart because I want a hug, I hunger for it, just to be able to be next to someone and feel the warmth and reassurance and love.
It's reasonable for other people, who have been through a lot, to seek compassion and caring. I've hugged lots of people who needed hugs, I've known they needed it. Since it is reasonable for them to ask in this situation, I am going to ask too. Realistically, there's Anthony who I always hug. It's not exactly the same. But I'm going to find the next best thing with Ross' guidance. I'm going to pause on my writing, to nurture myself for a bit, and to focus on learning to identify and express my feelings a little better.
I adore writing.
I'm just going to take a little effort to work on things I enjoy and make me feel whole, and to take time to connect with people who help me feel like I matter. I called one of my sisters last night, and shared that I was making strawberry rhubarb sauce. This was the first time I was making it. And instantly she understood why--they used to serve it in the elementary school cafeteria. She was happy and shared my joy and reminiscence.
A promise was kept to me too.
I don't know how to say it, but I've like, never had anyone keep a promise, ever.
But my last Covid-19 intubation call was on Monday, and the promise was that I wouldn't be alone and I would be kept safe for all of these calls. It was a promise from Spirit.
I was safe. This call goes away on May 1, no more twelve hours in a tiny call room in the basement, with no windows, waiting for the emergency.
I'm blown away, and keep thinking, that promise was kept! It wasn't broken! It feels good for a promise to be kept. It really does.
It's little things like that, someone keeping their word, that keep me going when I feel open, exposed, vulnerable, and at risk.
I also understand that these things, these emotions, happen for a reason, they are gifts from Spirit. So for me working through the steps, the energies are flowing through me and there is transformation. I won't call it rebirth but it's like major tornado emotional Spring Cleaning. Everything holding me back is being cleared out. There are a lot of feelings of inadequacy that I need to let go of before I make my Ascension.
I couldn't connect with Spirit the way I do if I was emotionally one of the 'gang'--and if I was invested so much in the Illusion. Only an outcast/misfit could see the Illusion for what it is, on the outside looking in. It wasn't until I was attuned to Karuna Reiki that I felt like the ugly duckling that found the swans, and energetically, I felt like, 'ahhhh where has this been all my life'.
So I take it all in stride. It's part of the plan. It's not fun, it's like walking uphill, but I signed up for it and will keep walking until it's time to stop.
I have three videos to share, and that's about it for a while.
I feel hopeful and confident that these skills I am working on will help me to improve my ability to communicate and be fully present everywhere I am henceforth. If you see me trying to talk about my feelings, with you one on one, please give me the time and space I need to speak up and go through the steps I use in my notebook with you. Stating my feelings, and asking for support, is absolutely terrifying for me to do. With practice it will become easier.
Thank you.
These are my favorite daisies of all. Technically they are called 'fleabane'. They are very tiny, very delicate, and grow close to the lawn. My friends and I used to make necklaces and bracelets out of them. And little crowns too.
It's not just me. All of the rescued children are going to have the last kind, the complicated one, too. They are going to need therapy for a long time, from specialists like Dr. Peter Levine (he has wonderful resources on tapping to heal trauma). This is a look ahead for Ascension for many who will be freed from the trafficking and torture and ASSC.
This soul, Micheal, has Trisomy 21, or Down's Syndrome (go to 9:30 to see him). These souls are actually very advanced in areas that victims of trauma suffer damage and developmental delay--social skills and emotional connection. Their hearts are so loving, they love everyone unconditionally, and themselves too. Michael resounds with dignity! I have been hearing his speech in my head and my heart ever since I heard it yesterday. It's healing. We are not broken. And we have something to offer, exactly the way we are.
Ross fully supports me and actually suggested I take some time off from my duties. He will be sending healing and love if there are pauses in our usual schedule. He wanted me to take five days off, yesterday was one, and I'll keep going as he recommends.
Yesterday the plumber came on time, and did the descaling maintenance on our tankless water heater. He said that if a unit is over five years old, don't try it. Ours was a little over one year old, so it was okay. Our unit is a Rheem, the Ford of tankless water heaters and you buy it from Home Depot. They install a slightly nicer unit, but ours would be fine.
He was clean, fresh, and smiling even though he had on a mask for all the Covid precautions. He was kind and friendly, and I appreciated his attitude for the work.
I asked him to double check everything on the installation. Our renovators to the home cut corners and costs, and since everything worked I just wanted to be sure it was okay with the way it had been set up. It was, no worries. And he said that kind of cost savings (unlicensed workers) is very common these days.
He finished, signed for me on the iPad so it would be touchless, and I gave him a twenty dollar tip.
Hours later, it was time to clean the bunny, and no hot water.
I ran a sinkful of water, all cold.
A strange error message came up, 11 F, where the temperature readout is.
My whole life started crashing before me. The single mother thing. The not being able to do anything right. How every time I try to improve something it gets worse and there is a damn 'lesson' attached to it...
I called the company, and the soonest they could sent someone out is the next day. In the afternoon. No hot water, no washing dishes, no shower, nothing. I asked him incredulously why the guy didn't test the unit when he was done? He didn't know.
Then it came to me in a flash. Look up the warning code on the Rheem unit online. I did. And it appears this warning comes up a lot, it was super easy to find. The gas line was turned off. I saw the valve, it was against the flow (yes, I can tell what a gas line looks like now, compared to water lines.) I opened it, and BOOM! We had hot water. I had Anthony call the guy to cancel the appointment, and I sent him a screenshot of the warning and how I fixed it.
I was cooking dinner last night, and Anthony's friends from elementary school who go to a different high school invited him to play a video game with him. He used to have a membership, but it had erased his Xbox Gold, months ago. He straightened it out with Xbox, they gave the value back.
He couldn't play without buying the game, and he didn't like the game, anyway.
My heart reached out for him. I gently explained that when people ask you to play, even if you don't like the game, play with them, because they are your friends. I would pay for the game, just so he could play. He thanked me very much for being 'cool' and supporting him.
Our dinner was ambitious, teriyaki chicken and rice, salad, and homemade boba pearl milk tea. My friend Regina texted me, with a picture of her peach cobbler which was beautiful. We talked a little. I'm so glad she reaches out.
Dinner was ready, and Anthony couldn't leave the game.
It turned into Date Night for me and Ross. I kind of liked it, having Anthony busy.
I'm not much of a conversationalist, and I was hungry, and I ate and enjoyed the meal. I took care to put the rice in a little rice bowl and add the chicken on top of it, and to use my favorite Japanese chopsticks. Ross had me wait for the Boba as if it was dessert.
I asked him what was the hardest part of his day? He balked a little, because Galactics don't talk that way, and I rephrased it so he would understand--what was the biggest challenge you overcame today and what breakthrough did you get from it?
He said he found a new way to talk to me directly and it worked.
Remember how the help came to me in a flash with the water heater error message?
I'm pretty sure that was it. I didn't clarify and Ross and I don't talk a whole lot. To be honest what he said was like, the most he ever shared about anything and I was super grateful for that. I didn't want to push my luck.
After the meal, I worked on the puzzle with him. It's called the Water of Life. There's a woman in biblical apparel getting water out of a stream with a big jug that looks ancient, and Ross, kind of ghostly in outline, is pouring an even bigger jug into the stream in front of her jug.
It's a super difficult one thousand piece puzzle, but we are getting there. I know he's helping when parts that seem impossible I suddenly find and they match.
We chat a little while we work on the puzzle, but not a lot. After a while it was time for bed.
Anthony stayed up until one am and I made him go to bed. He was laughing and having fun.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he will eat for his whole life...as long as there are fish.
There are plenty of fish.
Ross and I are teachers, for a long time.
Yesterday we wrote about how we don't try to get every cent out of our work by promoting ads and monetizing everything we do. Not YT. Not FB. Not here on this platform.
Today I saw I was taken out of a FB group. I wondered why? I looked. I saw. Nobody had told me anything.
Apparently in a separate group, I follow just as loosely--both groups are organized by my students--and they don't charge either...one student quoted us and a person went off saying bad things about me.
We have an elite group of students. Our tuition is ten dollars a month, and we don't send invoices or keep track. Some people pay a little extra to cover for those who can't pay. Some have tough financial circumstances. The whole reason for the tuition is for the students to demonstrate they are interested in participating on a regular basis. I don't sweat over it, but I rejoice whenever money comes in and it helped at one time to pay for Anthony's drum lessons. One week a month this funded it. The other weeks I did.
It hurts what happened with that person who is speaking bad about me.
I'll tell you the story and the lesson.
My first Karuna Reiki student chose me. Wanted to learn it from me. Made a point to come to my home to learn it. I have extremely limited free time, as you know.
My mistake is that the energy exchange for Karuna Reiki One is two hundred and ninety five dollars today. My teacher Anne offers pre-registration and two, three or four payment plan options. Anne is very strict about people paying first before they set foot in any advanced class she offers.
Even for her open practicum session, I just paid thirty dollars to her in advance just so I can participate. I paid her invoice today.
My investment, not counting the Reiki education all the way to Reiki Master, but for Karuna to Karuna Reiki Master to be able to teach it, is one thousand twelve hundred and eighty five dollars.
If you were to go to a Karuna Holy Fire Master course with Karen Harrison, for three days to learn everything, it would be one thousand and twenty five dollars, payable in advance.
My mistake was not to collect the payment in advance with that first student. I wasn't clear. I had assumed that the hours of preparation (it's really difficult the attunement and you have to prepare the space before the student shows up), the photocopying of the manual and buying the binder for it, and the certificate...plus six hours of my weekend...are a huge energy exchange.
I was given a necklace. Silver chain. Rutilated quartz. A nice piece, given in love, yes. I didn't ask for it and never agreed to barter in advance. There had been no discussion.
I didn't suck it up, the loss of energy exchange. I explained plainly and simply and asked for payments.
This student was thinking friendship. She never once asked the fee or price.
That's why she's angry and upset.
It's a fruit from pain, this lesson, and I know in the future to make everything clear.
My second Karuna Reiki student was a little more sophisticated in this whole process. I offered the teaching from my heart, and I expected nothing in return. Teaching a class like this blows your circuits for a day or two, the energy transfer is huge that flows through you. I didn't mind. This was a close friend. And I was offered a healing in return, also something I didn't expect, one using the Emotion code, something new to me. It was an excellent healing and I'm thankful for it.
Even for the certificate, I didn't have the heart to ask for the certificate fee and postage, it wasn't that much, not like hundreds of dollars. But the friend bought me a copy of the Emotion Code, and sent it. I also got emailed copies of the work of Dolores Cannon.
I am proud of this student, and thankful for his honoring the energy exchange.
This is Saraswati. She is the Hindu goddess of learning and knowledge in India. She is respected! They understand that without education, your chances of a prosperous life are very low.
My attending Rani Asrani, MD, taught me this valuable lesson about Saraswati. We do not put our books on the floor, she admonished me, in the operating room, we show our respect and value for knowledge.
Dr. Asrani had an unusual game we would play. When I would learn something from her, I would repay her the next time I saw her with a small gift worth about twenty five cents, just to show I value her gift of education, and for this to further honor Saraswati and show I value being able to learn. And when I did well, and mastered something that was taught, Dr. Asrani would bring me a gift, the same very small value, but to show her appreciation of my efforts as a student, and for me to know Saraswati is pleased by my efforts.
We would give small pieces of fruit, candy, a pencil, very small things, but it helped to show our progress in education, both as teacher and student, and it was very enjoyable, surprising one another with these small gifts.
I had never heard of Reiki, I didn't ever know about Karuna, or Ross and our legacy of teaching spiritual things--but this was my first and most gracious introduction to the concept of Energy Exchange.
I feel sad that Karuna Reiki student one, and I are no longer on speaking terms, and further, this lesson's pain has made me leave a group of people I care about. I was just taken out of it without warning from the admin.
I was defended by my best friend. I heard of it but couldn't see it and will talk about it with her later. She's the best...
I had an hour-long phone call with one of my favorite cousins yesterday. He and I just 'click', and always have. He married into the family when I was about thirteen, but our conversations have always been of spirit and of the mind and very enjoyable.
He wanted medical information about the Covid. It will help him position his work when they start back up again.
I was happy and kind of tickled and honored that I had information to share that was useful for him.
He's also rock solid in Spirit. Very Christian. And we talked. About a lot of things. I can't share everything with you, because I don't want people to know too much.
His work brings him very close--face to face--with the ASSC.
I told him I couldn't do it, I would throw up.
He said, 'that's okay. I'm an asshole. But I'm needed and it's better to be needed than liked in this industry.' He sets very clear boundaries on what he is willing to do, and what he isn't. He says, 'that's okay if you want to do it that way that's fine but you're going to have to do it without me.'
He taught me some important things. I think one of the best is that sometimes God uses people temporarily. I asked him about his opinion of the whole thing going on with the lawsuit and Out of Shadows. God used the opportunity for the highest good, but now, that the movie is out, not so much with those people who made it.
I told him from my heart that with everything that's going on, I'm frightened for Anthony and keeping up a brave front. He said as adults we talk with each other, and we keep things positive for the children, and it's going to be okay. Not to worry about the implantable chips. He said God puts us in places for a reason, and as long as God wants us there, we are supported and succeed.
That got me thinking. I'm a deep person, I love to think, and make connections and identify patterns.
This cousin's mom remarried, and when she did, he was sent away to military school. He was alone, nobody liked him, and he had to fend for himself.
I realized that for him, the experience was Asshole 101 courtesy of Divine Creator. It prepared him for his role to play in Ascension. And he's playing it well.
My cousin, his wife, was terribly abused physically as a child. Lots of anger, lots of violence she received in her home. But she also got the training in her sport, from as young as six. The very best training.
The result? She's absolutely fearless. Has no fear. And totally loves God. She was prepared well for Ascension too.
Here is something deep for you to think about . Two videos:
This was my preparation. It was my early life experience at the babysitter. I was hungry, soiled, lonely, afraid, and the babysitter was a total drunk who didn't give a shit about me.
Nothing I could do, no behavior I could muster, could bring her away from the alcohol to me, to care for my needs.
As a matter of fact, the times she did, she reeked of alcohol, and when I am near a drunk and catch a whiff something in me relaxes and says, 'now everything is going to be okay'.
There's only a short window of time for us to build these social attachment skills.
Mine was ruined forever. The Emotion Code helped, a little, so at least I could see how bad it really was, I could assess the damage.
Did I learn to self-soothe? I wouldn't exactly call it that. It wasn't soothing. It was learning to wait, learning to ignore my needs, learning to shut up and suck up whatever fate was bringing me.
It troubles me.
It bothers me how people are so chatty and have these needs to socialize with each other and social distancing is painful to them.
You don't miss what you never had.
I have no fear to write about Ross and me and my growth to the world. I know actually the Truth is safest when it is hidden in plain sight, and furthermore, no one can fault you because nothing is hidden. It's right there.
God prepared me to wait until Ascension, being alone with my very high vibration, until fortunately--others of my soul family and Star Family were able to connect. I'm so grateful for this. But they are far, far spread out across the world. And the one to hold me, is in Spirit. I tell him everything. And I can sense he shared his caring and protection and soothing with me. Just like when I was catastrophizing over the water heater.
I suffer in ways you couldn't even imagine, because I have near full consciousness of my life in the Higher Dimensions.
Very few come close to understanding what it's like, to be here with that kind of knowledge.
Today I woke up crying. I don't even want to get into it. If the being I was talking with understood the message, eventually I'll know. It's so hard to explain, and just like we say here 'it's a first world problem', it's genuinely a 'fifth dimension stuck here problem'. My heart was breaking.
My teams came in for support, and reassured me everything is progressing on track.
So many here, incarnate, Lightworkers and not and the ASSC seem to think everything is one big party. Maybe they came here because they heard after Ascension the party would be good at the end, I don't know.
A planet is struggling for her life.
There is a spiritual war, and also, an information war that has really ramped up, it's mind boggling.
That's why Ross sent me from my tears, to have a cookie, to build the puzzle, and to go outside. I fed the birds, I pulled some weeds, I listened to the sounds and enjoyed the sunshine and fresh air. I let go and Ross told me to FORGET. Anthony was deeply sleeping and not expected to wake up for a long time.
I just stumbled across this too. I'm sure Ross sent it. And Ashtar too. : ))) My homies got my back.
Ross
Carla is on the journey she signed up for. It is significant in the loneliness it brings. I knew when she signed up for it the journey was going to be difficult.
I am here for her.
And I am far away. Not warm and caring, not cuddling, away.
Carla likes to be held because she knew when she was physically touching her caregiver that they could not ignore her needs, and that help was on the way.
If you read the comments section on that last video, you will know why both of us are here, online, reaching out to others, for free, from the goodness of our hearts.
Our friends and associates, we thank you most sincerely, we couldn't do this alone without you.
Everything is going to be wrapping up in a short while.
And Carla's heart is finding, through this heartbreak, which nobody on earth would understand, and we aren't going to explain it--although I fully understand and support her in all--is to place a little higher value on herself and on her needs.
Carla is my Queen.
I want no one to forget this.
Hurry home, baby. I'm getting lonely for your heart too.
And so is Ashtar, our best friend, aside from Divine Mother and Divine Father.
A reader reached out to us, completely aghast, over Magenta Pixie. Carla was at work, with all her protective gear, and thought it would be best to not fight the phone and it's little keyboard, and to wait until she could answer with me from her house.
Here we are.
First we are going to address limited thinking.
For this we will give you an example. See that glass at the top? This is something common and every day in appearance to most people. Some take it for granted, and aside from it being sweet or unsweetened, that is enough for them to know. It's iced tea.
You drink it on a hot day.
You drink it at a restaurant to avoid the sugar in soft drinks.
Right?
Well, not exactly. To a chemical engineering graduate student, this is one of the toughest questions there is on the graduate student entrance examination.
If the ice is simplified to a cylinder the height of the glass and all in the center of the glass, so that the axis of the glass and the cylinder align, discuss mathematically the gradients of heat transfer and mass transfer at the surface of the ice as it melts inside the glass, and with the condensation which forms outside the glass.
Yes, in a simple glass of ice tea, the energies are MOVING! The ice melts. It dilutes the tea. And the latent heat of condensation is involved with the drops of water that form on the outside of the glass.
There are equations to describe all of this phenomenon. Old equations. From like, back two centuries ago, the math was there. And they describe things that are moving...curving lines of physical laws with advanced calculations to predict how it is going to go all at the same time, the melting, the condensation, the dilution...so at any point in the glass you could know at what time the value of temperature or energy or concentration was going to be.
We know this is a roundabout way--boba taro tea milk tea anyone? -- but we are still answering the reader's question.
If a glass of iced tea can be viewed from different perspectives, one with third dimensional constructs (tea, glass empty, glass full, sweet, unsweet, hot, iced), or one with higher dimensional constructs (the gradients of temperature, the changing of phase of water from solid, liquid and vapor, over time...) why not other things too?
For example the Roman Catholic church?
In third dimensional view, it helps people to find God and to exercise their connection to Spirit, in an easy to follow, organized and structured way. This is taking it on the surface. People want good. In it there is good. And while they are okay with this, it's all good. You kind of have to look the other way with the lawsuits against the priests for abusing little boys a little, but for the most part, there's the stability--it's been there a long time, it started with Peter the Rock...right?
In a higher dimensional view, that which is hidden (darkness) comes to the light, metaphysically and with serious ramifications. After taking the Red Pill, Carla learned about what goes on in the Catholic Church, and decided it would be best to take her time and money away so it would not be seen as supporting the Church.
After listening to Sister Charlotte, she knew even though it was painful for her to leave the church and communion as part of her everyday routine (in a world of worlds, Carla would adore going to matins, rosaries, adoration of the eucharist, daily mass, and vespers--she would love it)...her awareness had grown enough to realize she had in fact done the right thing.
Although Magenta Pixie is an example, you could say Cob-rah, or others who Carla and I have promoted here in the blog, can be viewed in two different ways. With third dimensional view, they are right, or wrong, good or bad, perhaps at best, real-time tests of our reader's Discern-O-Meters. And Carla's.
We prefer to discuss that it is very much like Carla's perception of the Catholic Church: when your consciousness is within a certain bandwidth, it's good and it makes you feel good and know these people in most cases are trying to be of service to our team. For the most part, they have a good heart.
But we are in battle, in a Spiritual war, and the enemy is led by the best liar in the Universe!
Certainly there are bound to be sleepers--people who are controlled opposition who look good and act authentic for our Team until they are activated and then lead others astray...wouldn't you agree?
The nature of the non-physical beings of The Other Team will promise you they will serve you and give you anything, only to turn the table completely the other way and you are a servant to them.
This is their playbook. The CIA sent people to Bob Marley to give him the prostate cancer (a nail in a shoe that was inoculated, and given as a gift) and then the same friend who gave the shoes was an undercover agent who gave the fatal advice not to see medical care...this was a deathbed confession I saw long time ago on YouTube. These people are sick.
They will do anything to win.
So the answer to your question has two parts--never turn your Discern-O-Meter off, and do the best you can to find your way that's right for you in any given situation, including people to follow, while working to raise your Consciousness and find your way. Don't sit back on autopilot like we are trained to do when we watch our favorite TV show, and assume because it's available to you it's 'safe'. Always be a detached observer for everything.
Carla recommends also watching for things that give you that feeling like you're right/correct. That can be a set up for a sucker punch when you're not anticipating it. For most people, hearing the words 'you're right' brings more joy than hearing the words, 'I love you'. Be constantly on the watch for this entry point for deception. It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to make a mistake. Just make sure the same one doesn't keep happening again and again.
Now we are going to switch gears. There's work today, and we are going to give you the straight up about what's going on in the hospital.
Carla has been reading the charts on all of the intubated Covid-19 patients since last Friday. She also reads the ones who are on the floor in the medical ward because those are the ones who she will have to save if they get into trouble and the Code-19 is called on the overhead paging system.
Long story short, the sickest patients go on the ventilators and don't go off them for a long, long, way longer than normal time. ICU's typically have cardiac patients, trauma patients (there's a separate ICU for burn patients, by the way), people who have had big surgeries like a liver transplant. Sometimes people with lots of comorbidities end up in ICU after moderate to big surgeries too, for their safety. Someone with really bad COPD or sleep apnea might not be ready yet for the breathing tube to come out at the end of surgery.
If someone is on a ventilator about twenty one days, we start to think of the need to put in a tracheostomy to spare the vocal cords. After that long with a plastic tube sitting between them, they can have damage. The tracheostomy hole is below them in the neck, and also, it helps for suctioning out the mucus secretions when patients have a pneumonia. This is not an everyday thing. It's once in a while.
Our first patients came to the hospital at the end of March, beginning of April. Some had positive tests, others didn't, but they all turned out to have the Covid. All were intubated the day of admission, some in the ER. One had gone to primary care first, or another to urgent care, and had been sent home, gotten worse, and came to ER. They are still very sick and in ICU on a vent. That's like a month.
Most ICU patients turn around in a week with full medical treatment. The ones who don't, and are long-term ventilator dependent, get transferred to a special kind of nursing home where they take care of the medically complex patients. This is the kind of place that is most vulnerable for Covid infection, same as a regular nursing home.
So there you are.
Our ICU has a few extra beds, our overflow ICU areas are empty, and our medical floor is full for the Covid section. It overflowed on Friday last week, emptied the overflow, and now it's looking to overflow again.
Everyone who is intubated has to be sedated and paralyzed with medicine given continuously in the i.v. The nurses need to be able to give these medicines, track the blood pressure and send labs. So they need invasive monitoring lines and i.v. access. My friend the surgeon who works too much, I've seen his name on the chart taking care of a floor patient as the attending (where was the internist? I don't know), and also like he did in residency and fellowship--as the 'line boy' putting in an IJ triple lumen catheter and a femoral arterial line.
My workplace is a battlefield.
I walk in and I'm asked questions, about my health, and my temperature is taken. It is expected of me to wear a mask, but no mask is given when I enter the hospital. They are in short supply. I bring mine from the day before.
Then I say hello to people who I can barely recognize and with my goggles and street clothes they mostly don't recognize me without my voice. Again, I wouldn't be caught dead in scrubs outside the hospital people would mob me in anger. I walk to the OR front desk and ask for my daily N-95 mask.
I go change my clothes. Yesterday the keyboard on the scrub machine broke--I've used it for ten years--but if I used the screen keyboard instead I was able to get them.
I gear up.
I went to my call room. The cleaning lady Socorro is changing the sheets. She finds spots on both the top sheet and the blanket, and throws them aside, making sure my bed is fresh and clean.
She puts the pillows--plastic encased ones--on the chair, then sets them on the bed and then realizes she needs to wipe them to disinfect them, picks them up and cleans them and puts the pillow cases on.
It's totally contaminated on my bedsheets from the dirty pillows laying on them and the chair, but I understand who was on call the night before me, it's no big deal, it's like we are family. They hadn't intubated anyone, they said.
Then they bring Violet in the room. Someone won the contest to name the robot with the UV light, and got one hundred dollars! So Violet goes into my call room and flashes bright pulses of light for four minutes. Then we wait one more minute. The door opens, Violet is taken out by the cleaning supervisor, and I enter to a huge whiff of ozone. You know, that smell lightning makes? Yup, that.
I feel better and do my best to stay clean and safe. I've wiped my keyboard and surfaces and door handles, and the cleaning lady Socorro did too.
Then I count down the hours. Like a fireman, I am on the alert and ready to run to do my work any time the alarm goes off in the hospital.
I caught up on social media. I watched a little YouTube. I don't like the hospital TV. And I caught up on emails. I deleted over six thousand of them. It was freeing to just sit with my finger on the delete button and GO. Only perhaps ten things I needed to keep. There's a story with this which will follow.
Then I decided to eat.
The lunch room for the doctors is a war zone too.
They serve you like a cafeteria. You can't help yourself to the food.
You can't eat out on the patio because the hospital is locked down and there's only two entrances and exits, where you get the temperature checked.
You have to social distance so there's one person per table. They disinfect it between guests.
There's only disposable serveware--I ate out of a styrofoam takeout box.
The other doctors and I talked a little about opening up the hospital for surgery--the big news! We all think it will be a while before patients want to risk the hospital even when we are open. My friend the OB Gyn has had people cancel because they just don't want to take the risk.
I hate email.
I really do.
I like being able to communicate by private message on a platform where most people can't find me.
Then it's normal.
I'd been putting off my emails for my main account for four months. I had over six thousand unread emails in that account, and two thousand in my junk account when I buy things and they send me all those offers.
I feel attacked and violated by email. Everyone I ever do business with feels they have a right to assault me with offers every day of the week. They pile up. Even a reputable Reiki site, when I asked to download a free ebook to help others with the Covid by sharing their meditation--totally exploded with over fifty messages in my reikidoc@cox.net email.
Even my safe space in my FB private message is getting filled up with random inspirational things from people I hardly know. I have to fish through and I think I might be missing some daily correspondences I have. I thank everyone for their kindness, of course, they mean well. It's just my emotional connection and security and way of things is off kilter because of the Covid.
So here I am feeling violated and hating life that I even have to do all this deleting and erasing...I spent perhaps four hours. And as my vibration was sinking fast, I got a text invitation to participate live with KD Krishna Das satsang.
I joined!
It empowered me to finish the rest after it was done.
Ross stepped in, and Aaron listened, and I got back on track.
So don't worry if you're doing the best you can and it gets bumpy. Spirit and your star family are going to help you out.
I felt inspired at the end of my shift that I had finished it. It felt good to set that boundary between fear and what I really need to keep in my email. Next shift I will do the same.
The last thing to mention, Ross reminds me, is I miss my healing jewelry and crystals. With the PPE, I'm to a minimum. One ring. One bracelet that won't break if it gets caught in the sleeves of the gowns. Two necklaces, one working and the other is my favorite from Ross, a gorgeous mermaid who is holding white topaz tiny 'diamonds'--a reminder of my Sirius roots and happier times. The chain for it is adjustable, and on the very end of it is a little heart. I have on earrings, nothing special, silver leaves with European clasps which are my favorite. My friend lost a one carat diamond earring taking off her mask in a parking lot. So anything on my ears, if I lose it, no big deal. I really enjoyed the healing energy in the workplace...from my crystals. But it's okay, I'm stronger than that, and it's a chance for me to grow.
I think the others in the suite of call rooms didn't appreciate the satsang. I didn't sing but I wanted to. But the music went on and on. But I needed it.
The hospital is trying. They had a minute to pause and meditate (take a deep breath they called it) and center ourselves in the morning. There was an inspirational quote. They also have similar tacked up to the dispensers for soap and hand sanitizer in ICU. They provide food to all the workers most days. One day it was bags of tangerines for all. I didn't take any, I have a tree with fresh ones, so others could enjoy the ones for me.
Ross
I want you to take the differences between looking at something in 3D and higher D with a grain of salt. Make it light.
Here is a video highlighting the differences between Germans and Americans.
It's hilarious.
We are one. One heart. One Creator made us. And our Divine Creators made us with lots of different 'flavors', just like the tea. And the one Vietnamese coffee! We want you to enjoy everything.
Guiding Souls is something very light and gentle, and it is a skill many of us are going to remember as we make our individual Ascensions together, when the time is right for us.
For those of you who have experienced parenthood, there is nothing that can prepare you for the reality of the awesome responsibility of providing support to new life, little beings who are helpless at the start, and then through time and effort, grow into fully independent adults.
For those of you who perhaps have not experienced parenthood in this life, but have fur babies, again, the responsibility for their happiness and well-being is a commitment which brings us closer to the concept of guiding souls, much like parenting children.
If you work in medicine you probably have discovered there is an aspect to it which is more than physical--there are energies of the spirit world involved. You will sense them. A healing angel is always present with you when you are working, whether you know it or not, and you'll gain insights from it. Once you have mastered the technical aspects of caring for the sick, then this next level comes along, and often it is simply referred to as 'bedside manner'.
If you are a teacher or a leader in your work so you have people reporting to you, you will have discovered how to adjust your approach to meet the needs of those under your responsibility. It's not like it sounds, or you may imagine--there's energies involved, personalities, as well as the topic at hand.
All of this makes sense as these experiences are personal and touch many of our lives in the many roles we simultaneously embody during our Earth Walk.
Some of us in psychic development training (or even on our own, like me) learn to assist souls to cross to the Light.
Some souls get 'stuck'.
This isn't something most people experience but it's more common than some of the next things I will describe.
It's very rewarding to help souls cross. I always enjoy working in this capacity.
Once you learn and are attuned to Karuna Reiki--a gentle yet strong energy to help you learn to heal souls, as compared to Reiki which directs healing more towards the physical body, you learn how to get permission 'on a soul level'.
I would have conversations with souls, especially of my patients undergoing anesthesia for long surgeries, but my conversations would be almost an extension of my role as physician. I'd ask the soul how that pattern of behavior is working for them, that sort of thing.
This wasn't as rewarding in and of itself, but it is enjoyable and I like to develop my skills at it.
When it got exciting was when I would be scanning the patient's energy system, and find attachments. Especially the darker ones. I stumbled across this, and initially, the Guides of Compassionate Healing would remove them if I would pay an energy exchange to Margaret McCormick who usually does this kind of work. I'd just give the money to her for someone else to be cleared. It was a deal I worked out.
Over time, the need to do this kind of clearing on the spot resulted in the Guides of Compassionate Healing training me how to work as part of their team. Notice how I take great pains to avoid saying that I do this or do this alone. I don't. There's no way. Even Margaret doesn't do that. This is for the highest good of the soul who has the attachments, and for the attachment beings who are removed. The people who say they just remove them--however--but WITHOUT the Guides of Compassionate Healing are doing a disservice. Where do these souls who are attached go? Out into the sea of actively seeking souls who will only attach again to someone else! Right?
Today I went into meditation into the peace of space, and I was looking at the beautiful stars.
When you are 'out there', your Consciousness lets you see lots more than just with your eyes. You are aware of things.
Suddenly I saw someone very dear to me, and they were crying. I sensed that there was overwhelm. I couldn't feel the emotions as if I was crying--that empathic thing I usually feel was blunted. But I could hear and see the sobbing.
My guides showed me how to direct love and to envelop them in loving energy from where I am, and I was far, far away, but still able to send it.
They taught me to watch the same way I was taught to watch for things in my medical training. I kept the flow of energy steady, and at one point, the sobbing stopped for ever so slightly a pause, and the friend took a deep breath.
That's the point where you know it worked, I learned. You don't have to send the energy any more.
I watched with interest, as the reason to cry sort of got confused, a little more sobs but they lost their reason, and then the soul settled.
At that point I was allowed to go closer and just wrap love like a hug as if I would do now.
There's rules.
There's lots of rules to this just like with everything else.
I stumbled across a rule the first time in 1992 when I started medical school. I sensed my grandfather was going to die soon, and I had bought a hat for him for Christmas. I wanted to send it early. And I was told by my guides--NO! It's not permitted, not allowed, you can't do that. I shrugged it off, and followed the advice but didn't ask questions.
I've learned with this soul who had been crying, that the Free Will and the PreBirth Contract/Life Script/Life lessons are always to be honored. So even if I see something coming I can't just say it. I can hint. Just put something out there, and then drop it. It's the rules.
When we are not incarnate, I think we can run lots of screens at the same time--I don't know what other word to describe the image you pick up with your Consciousness of a loved one you are guiding...what is surprising is just how our guides pop in and pop out suddenly, it happens like that when you remote view and are alerted by your Consciousness.
We are multidimensional beings. There are so many skills to practice and remember and master!
It's going to be great, absolutely wonderful.
Remember we are spirits in a physical body, but also, even though we are told this world is not Spiritual--it is!
Embrace your spiritual gifts!
Good things are ahead.
Just like with parenting (children or fur babies), teaching, being a boss, or other forms of leadership--remember help is available to you at all times. Do your best. Remember it's an honor to be in that role you are in. Sometimes your student is your teacher.
As you grow, Spirit will present more ways to help.
And as an Ambassador of the Spirit World, I'd like to share something I have learned in my work at Disney and as a Lector at Church and as a physician helping the community--you are VISIBLE.
At Disney, they said, 'what do you think would happen if Snow White looked at her watch, said it's time for me to take my break, sat down on the curb and smoked a cigarette?'
As a Lector I was trained to remember now that I was visible to the congregation, I had to be mindful that OUTSIDE the church, people would see my actions too. I had to make sure I didn't make the church look bad through my own bad choices.
As a physician, I can't hardly remember who I have helped because I've helped so many over the years. But I've had enough people come up to me outside of work that I have a system now while I'm scrambling to remember who they are. I stall and ask them how are you feeling? Is everything better? Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't, but at least it comes across friendly and caring, which is the whole point.
People are watching you. Some souls might stop waking up if they see your actions as inconsistent with the whole Angels and Heaven thing. There's warnings in the Bible to avoid things like that when you're on our Team. Even if you are at a higher level of understanding, remember how you look to those with limited understanding, and make all of your actions and words clear, clear, clear every time.
This is something way better to do while you are on quarantine/sheltering at home! Put those Angel Training wheels on that bike of yours and take a ride! : ))) Next time you meditate, see what areas of growth you are being guided to explore.
Home is so wonderful I can't even stop talking about it. I'm feeling it more and more, and I'm happy and feeling the energy of like-minded beings and enjoying it so very much.
Remember to try new things!
Even yesterday, Anthony and I went to the park and played bocce. I made a point to leave my phone at home and he really enjoyed it. It was the first time we ever used our new set I picked up years ago at the Italian market.
Have fun. Enjoy the bonds and closeness you have now. And also, the bonds and closeness from our Home home.
Ross is smiling and good with all of this.
He wants me to mention work. I've worked Friday (night intubation call), Monday and Tuesday in the O.R., today is off. Tomorrow is intubation call in the day. And I think Friday is work. I'm grateful for the work. I'm also thankful for a chance to talk with grownups outside the home. When I finish though, even from short six-hour days, I'm really tense and tired from all the PPE and stress in the workplace. They are wanting to have things go back to normal in May, that's like one week. I've really enjoyed life on quarantine. Traffic is great, like Sunday morning all times of day. Being at home is nice. One gastroenterologist yesterday who has seven kids!--said he takes his wife for a walk every night. He joked and said that he takes her on a leash! Vietnamese humor is fun and very light-hearted.
I personally don't ever want to go back to the way things were before.
I want to live in a world where things like this happen always.
This is a symbol for Archangel Raphael. How I forgot to put it into the blog post yesterday I don't know, but he says this is a perfect place to start with today's blog.
Today we have a potpourri of some very good things. And we are starting -- Raphael is here too, along with Ross, and another very special guest-- with a bit of American slang people say to each other lovingly in the morning. It almost made the title, but we held back because some people might not understand what we are saying without an explanation. So Raphael thought it was best if we teach you all what we mean, just in case.
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!
It means, hurry and wake up because fresh bacon and eggs are waiting for you! It's time to eat a very nice breakfast!
Today we will have a little bit of gossip, tie up some loose ends, a little discussion about the Future You in ways that are clear to understand, and another special mystery guest.
At the hospital, we are seeing signs of things that aren't quite what all the 'praise the heroes' campaigns are showing us.
You need to know this.
An Egyptian colleague went into a local mobile phone store to claim his discount for first responders.
The minute he showed his badge, the people freaked out, realized he worked with the COVID-19 patients, and yelled at him for bringing germs into the store, and threw him out. They even locked the door behind him. No discount for him! Right?
A charge nurse, a dear friend of mine, has a six year old daughter. The hospital has arranged boys' clubs and girls' clubs for childcare for the essential hospital workers. But she can't because the school is online. Someone needs to help her daughter with the computer when the class is meeting. Her husband is working from home but expected to be going back. If you can't go to the boys and girls clubs for daycare, then the hospital will reimburse you seventy five dollars a day for childcare.
She has a very close group of neighbors who all walk their dogs together. They socialize and all their children are friends.
The mothers grouped up to make learning/childcare possible by combining certain families together to help one another.
But not her.
They told her, she is the nurse, she has the highest risks, and they need to protect their families. She agrees with them, that they are right, but it puts her in a terrible place. She also is looking into babysitters and no one wants to take the risk to work in a nurses' home.
For me, Anthony is fifteen, so he's old enough to stay home and fourteen is the oldest to receive the money.
Seventy five dollars doesn't go far for childcare here. I pay twenty dollars an hour, and that was about three years ago. Just to have someone make him breakfast and take him to school early in the morning was fifty dollars back then when he was little. My friend said that even at fifteen dollars and hour, an eight hour shift costs one hundred twenty dollars, and that doesn't include the commute time.
I wore a PAPR yesterday. The thing that looks like an astronaut. It is heavy, bulky, and loud. You can't hear anything. Some of my hair got sucked up into the fan thing or the velcro. When I took it off there was a RIP! of hair going along with it. I am grateful for it still, because it is one hundred percent protective. In major surgery where I would wear a surgical mask, I will still need one under the hood--but for GI cases where I usually don't wear a mask, I was fine taking a break from the mask and wearing it. I saved my bottom zipper part to protect my neck and shoulders, so I can wear it again today. It's a little awkward using the toilet because there's a cord you don't want to fall into the bowl. I know risk is when you take it off and put it back on. So I went for my shift yesterday, from nine am to three p.m. with no food, no water. I kept it on the whole time. So it's essentially forcing me to be like a machine, the COVID. We look like them now too.
At UCLA, the Child Life specialist made buttons like moms wear with their kids from sports--big ones with the faces of the caregivers on them--so the children will see the doctor's and nurses' faces on the button and not be afraid.
The beautiful soul I told you about completely amazed me.
Once he understood, he changed it.
He said he would put me in front of him on the equipment climb and PUSH me up over the ridge! He would use his strength to help us both climb.
I was deeply honored.
Then on second thought, he changed it again--spirit is like that--and he said he'd carry me over into the new energies, right in his arms.
Then I was completely overwhelmed with joy.
Our souls are generous of Spirit, filled with heart, and the beautiful scene that I haven't seen yet with my eyes, I hope will be something like this view of Springtime once I peek over the edge.
Look at the bottom portion of the screen here. This is an editing application used on the laptop.
Anthony loves to do this, I'm not really sure how all of it works myself. But you can see frame by frame the moving picture. It is possible to cut and rearrange and optimize things.
Please hear me out for a moment.
Please forget everything about editing except for the way that the time of the video is made for you to see all spread out from left to right.
I am using this to explain something in Spirit I don't have words or examples to describe, and this is the closest approximation I can share to help you understand.
This is a Timeline.
You know how there are timelines and our teams are working with them? Timelines and probable outcomes?
We each have one for us.
Taking me for example, on the left would be my incarnation with Ross as the temple girl to his Melchizidek, then moving a little to the right, would me my incarnation with him as Gamaliel to my Tabitha, then next would be my incarnation as Ross and Amee (by the way her birthday then was April 22 -- there are no coincidences! It's Earth day too!)....you'd see my immediate past life as a kitten in MK Ultra/Monarch system, and then me as Carla.There's more but you get the picture.
For those of you who read the blog, I realize all of these are ME, I'm fine with it, I remember experiencing everything just like I'm experiencing now, and it doesn't bother me at all the different names and bodies I've been given because what really matters is the experience I am seeing through my eyes.
Even in this incarnation, I feel the same I did as when I was three and weighed thirty-five pounds. I've grown in my body, and in my consciousness, but it feels effortless looking back. And it took a lot of work to get here, I'll be the first to tell you. But I'm better and wiser and gentler and kinder in so many ways... because of the journey.
If you go to the right, all the way out to the end of the screen, we have the Future You.
I am getting to know my Higher Self.
We are closer.
I'm not jealous of her, or resentful, like I once was.
You see, I even confronted her, and said, 'how can I have a relationship with you when I don't even know what to call you? What is your name?'
Where she's from, names don't exist like here, but she paused, reflected for a moment, smiled and said, 'you can call me Daisy.'
It's a start.
She sent me two videos which were timely and a delight. I'll share links to them now:
Twelve French Words that have no English translation from Rosie at Not Even French. She's a delightful soul who worked for a French designer and moved from New Zealand without speaking a word of French. She has one of my favorite YouTube channels. My favorite on this list, and they are all good, is the 'singing in yogurt'. I do that one all the time, I never really know the words to songs I hear on the radio, so I sort of make them up as best as I can while I'm singing along with the music. OMG. There's a word for it! Chanson dans yaourt!
I was very happy and content last night when I went to sleep.
I say goodnight to everyone and give thanks right before I fall asleep. And last night was a first.
I went to give Daisy and kiss and a hug goodnight.
She choked up, and started to cry. She'd been waiting for this for a long time. You can't rush these things. Patience and Time are the two most powerful warriors, said Leo Tolstoy, who wrote the longest book in the world, War and Peace. She is rich in both, as well as her love for me.
I didn't want to see her cry, so I gave her a small box with flowers from the meadow I saw over the cliff or at least hoped to find. She lowered herself to my height, and we have a nice hug and I kissed her on both cheeks like we do in France, and said good night.
I could tell my teams and guides were happy.
She is me.
Only my future me.
And I'm okay with that too.
I like the name she chose for me to call her too. Daisy.
It's a good name.
This is how I feel today.
I'm in good hands.
There's work today, not a long day, but a full one. And hopefully not too much risk.
The hospital says when the COVID-19 cases level off or drop for two weeks in a row then we will go back to normal.
I had frozen some of the bagels we had made. It had been a little more than a baker's dozen (thirteen bagels, I think we had fifteen). I've since thawed them out, and will make them for us this morning.
Give thanks.
Be love.
Be generous in your hearts.
Your Soul knows no limits to how much love it can share.
Embrace your Future Self (I think linguistically this is SO much more pleasant than 'Higher' self which has a comparison and negative connotation.)
Enjoy what gifts Spirit brings you.
And at the end of a long day, share your thanks to your teams and your Future self.
I realize mine, if she was in the military and a commanding officer, I would say to myself, in my head, when I saw her, that she 'earned her stripes'. I know she worked hard and always wants the best for me and that's why my life is so difficult at times.
And after seeing the transfer of Consciousness between Ashtar who is a little further out on the timeline, and the form that is a little more on the left, when they met, it was beautiful and dazzling and full of Divine Glory, it was absolutely glorious to behold. For the souls it is a total Win-Win-Win!
The system works.
Be aware and discerning for what is going on around you. Just don't get too upset or freaked out. Be an impartial observer always, and take notes. That is one of the best ways to learn and grow as a soul. I embrace this WAY easier than the slower way of making mistakes (there are no mistakes only lessons!, I know).
All four of us send you out deepest regards and blessings.
