Applying Love and Love Anyway!

There are some people in your life experience you are going to meet who are not as 'far along' in the awakening process as you.

Sometimes when you sense them, there's 'hardly anything there' besides the facade they have constructed for themselves, the 'story' they made up to help them carry out their lives that isn't true.

It could be the health nut who is addicted to and has dedicated their life to something potentially harmful, and their body is teaching them the consequences of their lifestyle.

It could be the profession where you are called away from home at any hour, and being woken up out of your bed or kept out of it because of some unwise choices someone else has made.

It could be someone with a totally different philosophical belief system from you who is acting out because of the new energies which are flooding the planet are really uncomfortable and threatening to them.

It could be someone who is actually the product of Monarch Mind Control programming who has been 'set off' by their 'controller' to go do something horrible that causes terror, confusion, fear and makes the news.

Love them Anyway!

Why Love?

Remember the Discipline I talked about yesterday it takes to walk the walk and talk the talk of 'living a life of Love' and 'Love is not Fluffy'?

Yup.

Energetically, and scientifically (metaphysical science) this makes complete and total sense.

Why?

Because Love is in alignment with the will of Creator. And you can feel concerned and sad for the situation--but the souls who are involved thrive on the energy of chaos, confusion and fear.  So one step down that slippery slope with your emotions and attention, and through the Law Of Attraction you are perpetuating What Is--your energy is FEEDING it and HELPING IT TO PERSIST.

Conversely, the energy of Unconditional Love when sent to the situation, always helps, always gives to the fastest and highest solution to the situation, and furthermore detaches YOU from being further 'dragged under' by these Very Low Vibrations.

What's there not to Love?

After all, many of the times, these 'people' who present themselves to you and annoy you are 'reminders' to you of something you need to work on in yourself. This is called 'transference' and 'projection' in psychology, and commonly understood if you wish to study it.

And sometimes?  Once in a great blue moon sometimes?  These people who treat you awful are encouraging you to stand up for yourself, decide you deserve more, and to vote with your feet and opt to leave the situation in search for something better for you.

The only way for the vibration to go is UP! That's for both them and for you.

Ever since I was served notice I have been sending unconditional love to the person who served me, and to all of those close to them.  And yesterday was the first inkling I got that this just might be the motivator to get me out of my currently lifestyle--still staying within Medicine--and into something New.

I have had twenty years of taking call, actually twenty-two years if you count Medical School. For the last twenty-two years of my life, my life is not my own.  Last night, Ross encouraged me to just relax and watch a movie. Nacho Libre. To enjoy the comforts of my home. He had me go to sushi and after reading the mail, my phone rang. I had to go back in. I had to be careful to be politically correct and talk with first call because the nurses wanted me to come in and called me directly. I had just enough time to feed the pets and I had to go. I never even changed out of my scrubs!

Once at the hospital, I understood and did my best and took care of the situation.

Part of the reason for the emergency is Obamacare.

There is a certain specialty who is not considered a 'life-saving emergency' and the official line is that 'it can wait until office hours' and some hospitals do not even have someone of that specialty on call at night.

I know one such specialist, and when she goes in to work on the indigent, who ARE having a life-threatening or excruciating pain or having a vital organ (her specialty) at risk--in the middle of the night--because of Obamacare she does not get paid!

She does it for free. Five hours of it, if needed. And she manages the patient post op through their hospital stay too, knowing she will never get paid.

She can't afford to stay in business, and is thinking about taking a contract to be employed by the other hospital so at least she can keep her office open and running and make payroll.

When the Obamacare 'not a life-saving emergency' turns into a genuine, the real deal, life threatening one with overwhelming infection, that's when the OR teams get called in. Fortunately for us, last night, everyone got paid.

Changes in medicine and healthcare are happening so fast you can't believe it. Even when you are within the system.

Even then, the solution is to Love--and to have faith--to ask, ask, ask Creator for 'something better'--and hang in there until this Ascension thing is done.





Ross

I love you.

I always, always, always love you.

And I always will.

You are incarnate upon the planet, and reading these words and getting your strength and guidance from them, because of a plan you agreed to before you were born for your very first incarnation, a long ways back!

And you are doing beautifully in your progress!

Read the words.

Apply them to you.

Love yourself.

And allow the rest to proceed naturally like a flower will blossom when given food and water and light.

This is the 'light' so to speak, and your soul can do nothing more but thrive on it--this is true for your soul receiving the unconditional love and respect from both of us, me and Carla--and it is natural for--in time--your heart to extend once it is 'full' and offer this love to everyone and everything there is around you.

So drink. Drink up! Have your fill of this energy which supports and sustains you, nourishes you, and eases your growth!



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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Couple

Heart of Hearts

Today was a difficult lesson.

It required being present, and allowing the sequence of events to take place.

Like almost all work of the angels, it was subtle, almost imperceptible.  But I 'got' it, and as I was going to sleep, Ross let me know I did well.  It is my choice to get up and write it down before I forget.

Love isn't fluffy.

It isn't going to die like the flowers you give on Valentine's day. Or pop or deflate like balloons.

Love isn't the 'love' they market with merchandise as something cute, transient, or ephemeral.

LOVE--the real kind--the basis of all existence--is the strongest thing there is!

There is nothing like it.

Nothing could exist without it.

At times it is soothing, supportive, comforting--I prefer the description 'nurturing, warmth, love and compassion' myself...but this is only one way of looking at it.

Love allows us to be free, to reach our dreams, and to appreciate what blessings Creator has given us!

Love is a discipline.

Love is an art.

Love is a way of life, a way of living your life to its fullest--for only then you are in complete and total alignment with the will of Creator.

Ross gets a bad rap sometimes. He is portrayed as weak, thin, and not 'manly' like 'other men' in historical or common household terms.

He is 'different'.

But that's not true.

Ross spit nails. He was as tough as it gets, mentally, physically, emotionally. Ross was smart, highly intelligent--perhaps not as diligent and studious as me, who loves books and learning--but very wise and highly respected in every single one of his incarnations I shared with him!

I want you to see that there is a 'twist' to everything there is 'out there'--and that this 'twist' is a deliberate misrepresentation of Truth, of eternal, Universal laws like how everything runs OUTSIDE the Illusion...

And I want you to watch for it in our time which remains inside the Illusion as it is slipping away.


Earlier today, after the tires, I was hungry. Both sleepy and tired and hungry.

Ross sent me to the crystal shop.

I was like, 'okaayyy honey...all right I'll go'.

I saw Brandon and Amanda for the first time in ages. They are remodeling and showed me the plans.

Next a woman came into the store. I was appalled by the words on her satchel:
 I (upside down star) rock.

The thought of that image and the shop which is sacred to me, just got my little hairs on the back of my neck to stiffen.

Brandon set the tone. He was genuinely kind, and welcoming.  He helped her find the item she was looking for.  She said loudly two things:

1. It took one hour to take two buses to arrive to the store (a ten minute drive, tops by car) 'to save money'
2. She was going to do 'a ritual' tonight, her first one.

I have no idea what that ritual is.  I know the new moon is coming, the second new moon, a 'Black Moon'--this weekend.

She bought like, five small green stones and one other colored one. 

That's it.  

To me, and this is only my impression--through the woman's portrayal in my day's experience--is that what APPEARS to be 'strong' and 'badass' and 'dark' is actually a heck of a lot weaker than it believes.

It's 'fluff'.

And it can only 'work' in its limited capacity under the Veil for those who believe in it...for a short time until the veil is lifted for us all.

There you have it.

If it wasn't for Anthony stalling for bed, playing his music, and this song going on many times, and his buying it:

Click for Video

I was thinking about how glad I am to have Ross. How nice it was for Anthony to sit next to me on the couch where I did my DuoLingo...and just to hang out with him.  For once!

Then it all clicked. 

That's why I got myself up and out of bed, tired as I am, to write.

Love is forever.

It's not going away.

And from the look of things, perhaps we should start thinking about making more room for it in our lives.

Not the stuff you buy for holidays, or hope will be promised to you through some diamond ring and fidelity...

I'm talking the undiluted, REAL thing, that we get to have back home when we are up in Heaven, 24/7--coming here and now to all of us incarnate on Gaia--all of our soul families for generations, all of our friends and loved ones we ever had--somehow our being aware of their presence as if they have never left us---and everything beyond our wildest dreams is coming true!

Nurturing. No one will be hungry again.

Warmth (but not too hot! not like our one hundred degree fahrenheit days here in the OC!)

Love  (the kind that is conveyed when someone looks at you, and in an instant knows everything you ever thought or did, and LOVES YOU ANYWAY)

Compassion (being able to give it, and to receive it freely, without fear of being vulnerable, or 'taking risk of being hurt')

Kindness and Gentleness--as a way of life! For all of us, not just the select few who practice it but everyone on Earth...even the slow ones who struggle will still understand the benefit of kindness.

All of this, perfect health, perfect everything...is on its way to us!

And even if it takes two days, two weeks, two years or two decades--the light at the end of the tunnel is clear...and every day brings us closer to our goal.

An eternity of contentment and joy and peace.

Try to exist in it for long stretches until it becomes a habit.   And the best way to practice it, is to be quiet and just contemplate on it, and to allow all this Good Stuff which Strengthens You in Body, Mind and Soul---IN.

Today I just lay on my porch swing in the sun. It's got spiderwebs I had to clean up, I haven't been home long enough to use it. I invited the energy of the sun to just cleanse my aura, and remove anything that wasn't helping me to grow and be all I was meant to be.

That too is a form of meditation.

Anything that is away from electronic devices and their noise is going to help. 

Enjoy.

Tomorrow is today--together they are both connected.

I also have a special message to a soon to be, if not already, widow who is in Canada, a very dear reader and friend:

I too know the sorrow of being a widow. To my knowledge I was widowed by Ross in all of our incarnations three times. It is a terrible pain to bear. I can see now perhaps it is a form of birth pain as we release our loved ones from our hearts and ability to interact with them on a physical level --to New Life for them.

Although there is consolation, great great consolation that in the Afterlife for our beloveds there is no pain, and everything works and is healthy--I've had months and years of making sure Ross is really OKAY because I am so wounded I have to be reassured and 'check'--the healing  from the loss must come in its own time.

With the energetics, with the loss of a loved one in our immediate family, there is a huge disconnection in energy flow between the aura of our loved one and us. 

It must heal.

It can heal, and it will heal.

But it takes time.

And the best part about the whole thing, the silver lining, if there is one appropriate to share at a time like this?

It's that they never had to live without you, not for a single day, and perhaps as painful as it is to bear the loss, it is a blessing that it was not the other way around with you leaving them.

A great deal of love and Reiki is sent from us to you and your family.

Ross is the best man for the job when it comes to welcoming someone who transitions Home.

I'm so very proud of him for this, his dedication, his kindness and his love.

Ross

Now Carla?

Get some rest.

Go to sleep.

Tomorrow is a busy day for you, followed by another one.

You are in my heart and I want you to rest in my arms, my spirit ones...come home to me in your dreamtime and let me love you as I have never stopped doing since time began.

The names and faces are a little different, from one incarnation to the next--but my love for you is constantly growing...just like this...

https://youtu.be/vwpfnX0rfAA

(This is a delight! I didn't know my favorite group the Spinners cover this song by Spiral Staircase--thank you Ross!!! --ed)

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

In Essence

It was another long, hard call for me, a night once again where it was too late for me to drive home, and I slept in a hospital bed.

The PACU nurses lovingly called it my 'hotel', and with great kindness they made a true hospital bed for me, instead of an uncomfortable gurney like I usually get. I sleep in the isolation room, where there is no door but a curtain for privacy.

I am a certified Healer, a Karuna Reiki Master, and certified Psychic, as well as physician. I am a mystic, for I see angels and converse with them...I do mediumship for I seen the deceased and converse with them too...and also I communicate with animals and plants and trees and rocks in nature.

All this and a board-certified physician with the license to practice medicine, too.

This caught the attention of a director, who invited me to 'talk' with him about my gift.

I didn't know what to do. On the one hand it was a terrific opportunity to 'be discovered'...and on the other, I asked myself, 'why do I need to be discovered in the first place?'

I felt his energy, and his vibration in his energy signature, and it made me feel like I needed to do this:

I just wasn't comfortable. The whole field of 'entertainment' to me is filled with Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.

So I ignored him, and his request.

He wrote back. He is persistent, and I knew he would.  I know people. I've worked at Cedars. I've already looked him up on Google. There wasn't a whole lot.

THIS TIME I honored my soul.

I declined, citing my natural shyness, and my unwillingness to participate in the project as 'it's not my thing'.  And I wished him luck.

In an instant, I knew now I was going to be for him, 'The fish that got away'.

His whole thing is it's 'fascinating' how so many physicians and nurses and other people in healthcare are going in this direction of 'spiritual' and 'metaphysical'.

I don't like to be labeled as 'fascinating'.

I never have and I never will.

I could hear my council cheering me as I wrote that response.

I am free!

I must explain something to you that is in the metaphysical, with an example in the physical, as an allegory to help you learn.

Is this a parable?

Not on your life.

It is only a teaching example and I will state clearly to help you understand. You don't have to figure anything out. What you see is what you get.

In healthcare, things smell terrible.

I am not being figurative. 

I am being literal.

I am saying, 'sometimes you have to have fresh unbrewed coffee grounds open and a fan to take the smell of feculent (feces) material out of the room so you won't throw up while you are working on a patient'.

This is MORE than the nasty smell of burning flesh when they use the Bovie (electrocautery) in surgery. That one makes me cringe, and it has more carcinogens in it than smoking two packs of camel unfiltered cigarettes to breathe that stuff. 

There are times whether it is your contribution to the condition (IVDA--iv drug abuse and addiction) or just plain bad luck, where health care teams work together to clean that terrible stench out of you and do what is possible to salvage what's left and save your life.

In other words, your choices, as a soul within your body--provide to you the lessons--which are pretty obvious so all the world can see--that you are poisoning yourself, you are being poisoned, parts of you are dying, and you might want to think about it, and seek change, to improve your health and your thinking.

It is a wake-up call. 

And sometimes people just don't get it.

Then they die.

Their soul goes UP with a report card of their progress on their lessons, and plans are made in the afterlife for them to be continued until completion.

No one is blamed or damned for not doing their coursework, however, their coursework still needs to be completed at a future time. Along with lots of counseling and coaching by their guides along the way.

Well, what about spirit?

Is it possible for our souls to pick up stinky crap and disease and need to be cleaned out by spiritual 'health care teams'?

Yes and no.

It is not like on Earth where you can go and say, 'I don't feel good' and other people figure out what is wrong and take care of it for you.

Your soul, your energy signature, and all of your choices over many incarnations is under the sole control and direction of YOU.

Can you ask for help? Absolutely!

You can even ask for Archangel Michael and St. Germain to help you cleanse whatever is holding you back.

Due to Free Will, spiritual beings can only help you if you ask for it.

Plus, YOU get to do most of the work. They are assistants. But only YOU can decide 'enough is enough--I want to change for the better' and that is accomplished simply by going along with whatever comes up for you at the moment, every moment, every single day.

You FEEL it. You EXPERIENCE it. You may cry bitter tears with regret, for instance. Then you move on to the next thing.

You and only you can PROCESS all of your emotions, your feelings, and your lessons.

There is a certain portion of the spiritual community who believe that everyone is blameless and faultless--and if you 'step on someone' in the course of your lessons, all is forgiven and all is well.

That's not true.

Outside the Illusion, all is well--yet outside the Illusion there is connection to the execution of the Life Plan and Life Lessons that will always 'stick'.

Your energy signature will always reflect the sum total of your choices while you were incarnate and learning your lessons--it can either go up a little bit in frequency--for those of you who make good choices, and amends when you do not--and for those of you who wish to 'sweep things under the carpet' then the dirt and the carpet and the hiding will also go into your energy signature.

This is NOT a harsh 'you made your bed now go and sleep in it'.

This IS a 'you signed up and wanted to grow in these ways, and if you did, more power to you!' along with the other outcome, so to speak, where perhaps 'more time and growth is needed' and 'you may have to repeat your lessons until you get it right'.

This is the beauty of the third dimension. Your soul is isolated just enough, perceptually, when you are 'awake' (but really dreaming within the Illusion) to be tested.  And just like on Earth, no one can take that test for you.  Only you.

So when you make choices that stink, as a soul, you are not doomed by this forever! If you reach out to Creator, and say, 'God, I really screwed up. Can you help me to put the pieces of my life back together so I don't do this again?'--all the legions of angels, and Creator will be at your side, encouraging you to make it right.

There never is a deadline where this will expire.

Creator sees both the good and the bad, in ways only a parent can, with LOVE unconditionally, even if it creates chaos, expense, and sadness on the part of a parent.   Creator will never judge you.

However, when you are disincarnate--outside your body--YOU will judge you.

And that's even worse than watching yourself on film or listening to your voice in a recording.

You are your own harshest judge.

And you decide what to do next on your lessons.

My grandmother Lucille died, and I spoke to her soul. I pointed out to her how she had the adoration and love of her whole family, yet she was petty, and unkind, and very selfish with her spiritual gifts of love, motherhood, and intelligence.

She recognized it at once. She saw how her heart was open for babies and that was about it. Everything else was 'you scratch my back I'll scratch yours'.

She promised me she would 'make a better show of it if she got a new body'.

And she did.

She has suffered, willingly, in this life (I know her she is a relative)--to make up for all the times she made my mother (her daughter in law) cry on the phone for letting her family get sick, for not cleaning the house better, and for all these other things. My grandmother would berate my mother every night, my mother wanting to be loved by both her husband and mother in law would take the abuse, and she would lose time from her family each night because the hour on the phone left the dishes and chores undone. My father never once stood up to his mother to defend my mom. He knew about the tears. It was sad the way he condoned the abuse of his wife in front of his daughters. My mother was always kind and loving to my grandmother, and in her later years, my grandmother apologized. There was nothing but love between them.

Once outside her body, my grandmother, with my assistance, came to see the inequity of her ways, and how very harsh it was on my mother. (She was so unpleasant that some of my cousins refused to go to her funeral, and of the ones that did, some went just to make sure she was deceased.)

That's why they are so close today, the reincarnate version, and my mother, who is now HER grandmother instead of daughter in law. There have been times where my reincarnate grandmother has said things that deeply hurt my mother's feelings. This is a lesson, she is making great strides in improvement, but her core soul needs to learn compassion and respect for others at all times. Every day....

So I hope this explains to you how you have the freedom to make your choices, either in accordance with your Life Plan, or against it, and further, unlike in the physical body, you are the only healer who can take the 'crap' out of your vibration, and raise it. You guides and angels and deceased loved ones are always waiting to assist!  But they can't do for you what you can't do for yourself. 

They 'supercharge' your healing!

And no matter what, tomorrow is a new day. There is opportunity to live correctly and within the scope of your Life Plan.

God is an easy grader.

But only you have the chance to do the work and turn your homework in.

Ross

I told Carla to tell someone something today about us. The two of us. Me and her.

I also didn't let her sleep, much as she would like to. She has to get new tires for her vehicle.

It is time for her to go.

I am going to have some fun with this (rubs his hands and smiles--ed)...with EVERYTHING!

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Reiki Doc Family

Just Watch

Yesterday I returned from a beautiful, all-flight-expenses paid trip to Chicago.  This is someplace I have never been.

It was a little unsettling. When we had a layover connection in Las Vegas, the clerk at the Ethel M chocolates store scared the daylights out of me:  he said there are fifty shootings every night, with forty deaths, and they have the highest murder rate in the country.  Even last night, my mother, said 'that town is lawless and it has always been'.   The Ethel M man made us promise we would not go out at night. We kept that promise.

What we noticed, personally, is that traffic in Chicago is very strange. Anthony noticed it right as we came out of the car rental place. He said, 'Look! mom, everybody is running red lights!'

It was true.

And pedestrians and bicyclists start crossing the street early on a red light, right before it changes to green too.

I was very sad about the rental car. We got it free with the room. And yet, valet parking was the most expensive in all my years of traveling I have ever seen! It was seventy-three dollars a night! So, in getting a 'free' rental car, I lost money--a cab would have been cheaper.

The funny thing is, that Ross insisted on us getting the valet park.

So that's the whole point of this blog post--watch--wait and see--keep observant for people to show their true colors.


Last night's presidential debate was an 'educational' session for Anthony. I am not political, I don't watch news, but I knew at school people would be talking about it.

Ross loved it when I talked back to the T.V.  To both of the candidates, when I knew their 'traditions' and 'team' and they were saying things people wanted to hear,, but were untrue,  much to Anthony's and Ross' glee I said, 'Liar! liar!'.

What I saw was something cleverly designed to make one candidate look good--the person selected to moderate, the camera angles, and who got to speak first...I saw very practiced, rehearsed responses.  And in one, possibly both, I saw very little in the pupils of their eyes. This is where the soul is perceived, deep in the eyes, and some people's eyes just have hardly anything there.  Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart are extremely dark and soulless in the eyes. It can't be hidden or masked with a smile.

When the moderator asked one candidate if they would support the other if they won, and this candidate said, 'Absolutely yes!', I understood. I understood the political machinations, and how everything is designed and absolutely fabricated to lead the 'little man' to 'a solution'--as the 'little man' has been trained by the system to give their power away.

Even the premise that any vote counts is utterly ridiculous as we all know it is the electoral college, not the people, who votes in the next president, and for those who study 'things behind the scenes' we all know that there are nameless, faceless people who control just about everything there is, and they never run for office!

I'm talking 'Those who do not have our best interest at heart'.

Anyhow, I came home from Chicago, and the mail, again, was distressing. My health insurance policy is going up (I buy all my own insurance) and the coverage is less (all out of network is not covered, deductible goes up) , my house gets a new insurance on it by the mortgage company, everything is going up, up, up. (I also learned from my mentor my malpractice insurance rates will go UP with this latest thing, for three years, just like the auto insurance does when their is an accident.)...

I was so sad. I have a super hard week at work. A certain someone announced some 'portal'--I don't know why these things upset me but they do...

Because I am very close to these beings, the announcement of this 'portal' deeply distressed me, because I know Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart have trapped and harnessed and put into subservience MANY of these wonderful creatures.

At this, Ross said, when I asked him, 'what should I do about this? what does it mean?' advised, ' watch and see'.

So I'm watching. And waiting.

He also told me he had a gift for me. I had to go out into the yard.

I went.

Oh my gosh the heat wave has killed just about everything I grow! I looked and I looked.

Then I saw his gift. I've never seen anything like it.  The bromeliad I bought when I first bought the house, one glued to the foot of a plastic African Grey statue (which has since grown into about eight plants and fallen off)--had a beautiful pink spike of blossoms coming out from each one! It was a miracle. I've seen perhaps one spike a year, but this time, it was exploding with pink and purple, and I smiled.

Ross is good with details!

As I prepare for this week, I think I might have forgotten one thing to say. But I haven't had much room for him to speak. I will ask if there is anything he would like to say.



Ross

I love you.  All of you who follow us with our work.

I am ready.

I am prepared for what's next, what is soon to be happening.

Are you?

I want you to go into a quiet space and reflect on this message.

Who have you hurt while you are incarnate? Yourself--this includes you who did not live up to your hopes and dreams....those close to you who supported you like Carla's mother, standing in the background so you could soar?...those who counted on you and you, being human, neglected them (I neglected Carla in our time, in our past incarnation. I am still responsible to her for the repair of this)...

Is there anything you ever did or said that you regretted?

Now is the time to make things right. Both with Creator, and with those connected to you.

In all of your business dealings, were you fair and considerate of the other person?

Now is the time to remedy anything you ever did or said to cause pain, even if it is by accident.

And then we move on.

Your final achievement and placement in the hierarchy in the afterlife will reflect just how poorly or sincerely or adequately or thoroughly you go through this step.

All is FORGIVEN!

But only YOU are the one who has the ability, while you are incarnate, to make the necessary arrangements for the amends to be followed through to their completion.




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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple

More To Say

So much to say!

So little time. And space here, on the blog. My iPad fits only so much on a screen.

Travel is a good thing. It's always full of surprises and it makes you adapt. This trip's surprises included--Anthony isn't doing well in his math, even though he gets good grades, because his fundamentals aren't being followed every time. Yesterday I was in shock at how long it took him to do it, to do it right, and for his attitude.  As an engineer, I nipped his bad habits like a Tiger Mom, and we are going to have to have me check his work more.

The other shock was how he needed time swimming, and taking a bath (eating popcorn and watching a movie on the cool bathroom mirror). We missed what I wanted to do. I missed the art museum, the aquarium, and Navy Field, the Bean.

And it's okay.

Today I want to talk about managing expectations, and communication. By being clear and up front, we accommodate others. We had a beautiful hotel, and enjoying the room was what was needed most.  I got my architecture tour, so I got 'something'. I think the best part was buying Wrigley's Doublemint Gum IN the Walgreens in the actual Wrigley building. That was cool.

In life, we are given opportunities to be our best selves. And when we fail, although there is love and only love, we ARE ACCOUNTABLE for our choices!

Amends are ALWAYS in order.  We wouldn't be IN the Illusion if there were not true rewards available.

So, just for today, pick up the phone and call that person you're 'not speaking with'.  Send a letter of apology. The Ho'oponopono is a good technique. It goes:

1. I'm Sorry
2. Please Forgive Me
3. Thank You
4. I Love You

It is never too late, even if your 'loved one' is deceased.

We are awakening soon, then the benefits of the Illusion (making right while there is still time) won't be as effective when everyone is awake.

I am in the part now where it's hard to see what I type.

I must go and board a plane too.

All is well.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Reiki Doc

Grace

Hi.

I'm not able to share photo images on my iPad.

But I'm back.

My mission was in Chicago.  It encompasses several things.

The first was to do an honor for my father who is deceased.

We took my cousin's daughter Lindsay to her first Cubs game.

It wasn't easy.

She invited her roommate. She didn't want to meet us at the gates at the time we were going to show up. She offered to buy us a treat or to pay us for her roommate's ticket--which is good manners--but we didn't want to do anything more than wish her good luck with her new life in Chicago (just moved here last weekend) and enjoy her company.

We left their tickets at Will Call, and everything worked out.

It wasn't until I was AT Wrigley Field, that I remembered how my father enjoyed taking her father out to MANY a baseball game. He was the son my father never had, and he enjoyed his company very much. But it all went sour over inheritance (my grandparents divided the estate to their living children, and my cousin's mom pre-dececeased her mother)...when Ron stopped speaking to my father.

In both cases, with Dad and Ron, and with me and Lindsay, LOVE had the final word. Love overlooks lower vibrations, and is not encumbered or restrained in any way by people's lack of Consciousness.

This is Grace.

My first love Tom is a cousin to Joe Maddon, coach of the Cubs. I met him in 1982, at Tom's house, when Joe and his wife and two peach faced love-birds were staying with his aunt Teddy as he just came to be a scout for the Angels.  He was the kindest man, and loved the birds. I was fascinated by them.  I was also fascinated by his empty orange juice can (frozen kind) and his chewing tobacco. I'd never seen it before in my life.

My heart was filled with love and gratitude to Joe, for living his dream. Anthony wanted me to say hi. I was shy. (I am shy by nature).  Later, I went to the end where he was warming up his pitchers, and yelled, 'I know your Aunt Theodora 'Teddy' Klocek Rickenbach! HELLO Joe!'

He heard me but didn't respond. She has been dead many years, but his Hazelton, Pennsylvania Polish cheekbones are just like hers. And THAT's why you hear polka's before the game.  I just wanted him to know I was there, and I was praying for him.

I said that prayer out out, in front of the fans.  Quietly, but I spoke the words, 'Dear God (and messenger angel), even though he chooses to ignore me, please bless him and let him know my love and joy to see him again, and my wishes for his success with his team.'

I look JUST like Tom's wife. Actually, she looks like me.  Later, when I was with Anthony where more pitchers were, front row, I saw Joe look. I'm friends with Tom on FB, and I'm sure he's seen either my post or my resemblance to his wife. He knew.

I know one day, he will be telling people he knows me! LOL. And even then, it will be all forgiven, and there is only love.

My assignment is to LOVE all of Chicago. And I am. The people here are delightful, they have such beautiful hearts. I like to think they accept nature more than others--due to the harsh winters and seasons--and this makes them more flexible than people who live in Southern California like me.

I think today's new Gaia Portal bears this out.  Being here for my family, and the people, is what this life is all about. If you could have been at the top of the Willis Building yesterday, and seen the joy and fellowship...it was all these people doing this crazy thing of stepping out on a glass ledge and enjoying the view...LOL. Life is sweet, all is excellent, and tomorrow I head home.

Now it's time for some fun!

Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc

Family

Family is who we turn to in our most difficult times.

On my first day of trouble, I turned naturally to those who are closest to me--my colleagues (who have experienced the same type of trouble), my mentor, Ross, and my teams. I also told Anthony's father because it was in the context of our text conversation. He was surprisingly supportive. For the lawsuit I did what I had to do:  I submitted a claim online, and very next day I faxed a copy of everything that was given to me in the packet when I was served.   My mentor was the most helpful, and even late at night he called to give me his view of the situation, and not to worry.

I take great care to be in the moment, and not to worry. 

The last time I saw Tim Braun, he said I need to write on a sticky note where I can see it every day, 'Why worry? It's probably not going to happen anyway.'

It's true.

The lawsuit with my mentor and boss has gone away as if nothing ever happened. Work is the same as usual. There is not change in sight, not to say it couldn't change at any other time, suddenly, but at the moment there is no change in sight.

They say that when you have serious trouble, for example, a person who has been raped, or remembers childhood molest, the one person you can't tell is the one you need to tell the most.

It's true.

I was afraid to tell my mother because of the shock to her delicate system.

I was also afraid to tell Anthony. It's something for me to deal with, and not his problem. He's the kid.

I told mom.

Anthony overheard on the phone I didn't realize it.

And mom was one-hundred percent supportive!  Nothing fazes her!

The amount of relief I felt from sharing with her is significant.  And when I told her I am just doing one thing at a time, and not worrying about it, I knew no matter what I am going to be okay.  I just told her there is going to be more busy work for me, more time commitments, more things to  juggle, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

Mom totally understood.

Anthony, bless his heart, was the most healing. He never said anything. But he went to our old computer only he knows how to turn on, and he started looking at old pictures. He never does that. And there were some beautiful ones. He was like, 'mom, why are you taking a picture of you from the side like that?'

I said, 'because I was thin!' and he laughed. I'm not thin now, and he totally understood. 

He was a happy baby. 

And I sure smiled a lot more back then.

I was more carefree.  My work situation was more bearable. I worked three days a week with two set days off (as an attending anesthesiologist who supervises residents and nurse anesthetists). Originally I had Tuesday and Thursday off (where I used to moonlight). Then I switched at work's request to Tuesday and Friday off. Let me tell you, that is the sweetest schedule when there is a long holiday. It really extends it by adding the Monday off. It was very nice.  I also had benefits from work, and my malpractice was 'new to practice' and super cheap (for moonlighting I had Part Time only, the rest was from my work.)

Now I have to do everything on my own, and my 'part time' is getting worse case lineups than my colleagues in the same group, and only two designated days off a month. Private practice is dog eat dog, and you don't get paid to wait for cases. You only get paid for the actual work you do; it's not salary. It is because of this the group competes for cases, and it's very unpleasant to have people who 'take care of number one' so obviously and it affects you and your income.  It's like people fighting over inheritance after a funeral, every single day.  It brings out the worst and the smiles don't cover up anything. I still like them, but I wish they weren't like that, especially to me.

I love all my work relationships. And yesterday I did the best on a chest case I've ever done in my life--arterial line in on first pass of needle, no wire needed, and double-lumen endotracheal tube perfect placement with no adjustment needed by the surgeon.  I really enjoy the energy of working on the chest--either a cardiac case (I haven't done in years) or a thoracic one. 

I also caught up on our journal, with the focus on cardiac. So people could see me reading that in the O.R.  It was fascinating how things have changed in my specialty. For example, many people have artificial heart 'boosters' (LVAD or left ventricular assist device) implanted. Some are a bridge to healing, others a bridge to transplant, and for the rest 'destination therapy'.

Well these devices may not have a pulse.

And when they go for colonoscopy or other surgery--how do you measure the blood pressure? The automatic cuff won't work!

See the kinds of things that interest me?  It's cool. Basically you measure arterial line mean pressure like on bypass, either invasively or not. And you never let the anticoagulation wear off.

Yesterday was the first time my Doctor's With Reiki family really helped me out--in so many ways.

I went to the post office with Anthony, and it took both of us to carry all the packages to the car!

The kindness that was shown overwhelmed both of us. He was excited like he gets at Christmas--wanting to help open the tape on the boxes. When it came to the cards inside, I was like, honey, these are for me! (I knew it was the energy).

That someone would remember my favorite coffee and send it (along with other things) as a belated birthday gift--it just meant so much.

So did a special piece of jewelry.

I told this reader I was seriously thinking about quitting medicine altogether. The ring made me see my place is IN medicine.

And I have it on right now.

The loving support--from those close to me--everything!--helped me to see I am making a difference and touching lives enough for them to touch mine back.

For this at this difficult time, I am MOST grateful!

Especially because Spirit had a hand in it all. It's clear.  These people were listening, and did what Spirit asked, and everything as it was let me know it's all right. Everything no matter what is going to be all right.

I won't have much time to write but I want to mention a very special person who is on my side--the mother of a patient Stephanie who was very dear to me.

I let her know.

We are still close now since her daughter's death. She is close to both the surgeon and me. And they used to drive three hours just to come to the hospital so only the two of us could take care of her. Her daughter refused to let anyone else give her anesthesia or surgery. Her case was exceedingly complex. And we believe, her surgeon and I, she got two extra years to live. Her condition was very close to end-stage when we met her 'randomly'--me being assigned to her surgery, and him being asked to do a surgical consultation mid-case for a different procedure by another specialty.

She said I was the nicest most caring anesthesiologist she has ever met.

And she'd be willing to testify to that.

Ross wants me to write one last thing, to explain to you what is about to happen.

I am on assignment.

I am going to travel somewhere with Anthony.

Spirit has some rather strange requests--one of them is to wear my old engagement ring from Frank.

It was always a little too big, too loose, but now that I am bigger it fits perfectly on the correct finger.

I tried to put the wedding band with it, and it's just too small.

The ring is beautiful.

(It helps to travel with a wedding ring on--it's hard to explain but I've noticed it).

I am not to bring my computer.

I'll have my 'electronic devices'--phone and tablet.

If I can write I will but it isn't easy with the pictures on the tablet.

So  nothing is wrong, and I'll be sure to share with you as I go.

Anthony is coming too.




Ross

Carla is traveling today.

Carla is traveling today to someplace she has never been, on a short trip, a long weekend.

Carla is using those two free tickets anywhere Southwest flies in the continental US.

Before they expire!






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Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Family and Couple

Hardships

There is something about enduring hardship that makes the perception of what is kind and good stand out all the more by contrast.

When I was in training, and spent days and nights and days in a row inside the hospital, once I got outside, a strange phenomenon would happen. The colors would look brighter, and everything had almost a magical quality to it. I eyed the outside world with wonder, even more so than coming out of a movie on a summer day makes your eyes have to adjust. There was just beauty and love and color surrounding my senses, and I was grateful for it.

My troubles continue.

Today they got worse.

But the beauty and love and color surrounded my senses, today, this time, INSIDE the hospital!

I noticed how the PACU nurse shared her dinner with me at the table. She saw I had only rice, and said her salmon was too much for her. She gave me half.

I was in a hurry this morning, and only packed leftovers that were in containers into my bag. Anthony's I didn't even have time to pack it. I gave him money, because he could buy.

Yesterday, at a computer meeting, I had trouble adding a new security app to my phone for remote access to the hospital computer system.  They asked me, 'don't you have our workers in the Doctor's Dining Room every day during lunch hours? Aren't they helpful?'

I replied calmly that they are, but I don't eat lunch, so I can't make use of their services.

Breakfast with Anthony and dinner were the only two meals I ate seated in my day. I also had a quick 'brunch' snack seated. All meals were rushed.  The other two,  lunch and afternoon snack, were single pieces of pizza eaten standing up. The first hot, the second cold, to celebrate Surgical Technologist Week.

The nurse's kindness with salmon and sharing conversation meant so much.

So did the hug from our former Charge Nurse who turned Nurse First Assist who had been out on leave for ages. She said, 'I missed you'.

I loved the nudges from Ross. The blanket on my patient was 'Made In India' and on the drive home, not one or two but THREE songs from him to cheer me up:

1. Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode
2. Hotel California by the Eagles (I love that album and it always makes me remember happy times motorcycle riding with my Uncle)
3. PYT by Michael Jackson (another one of my favorites)

With the first one I could see him inviting me to dance to the music with him in spirit, just like you'd ask a girl to dance here in 3D.  The smile. The tilted head, just a little. The dancing to get me to dance too...

I need to spend time with him now.

There are legal actions and I am named in it. It's something medical. This is new.

It feels awful.

But in a way, it bonds me to my peers...one was sued even though she is the one who fixed the problem another doctor did. The patient lumped them all together and sued everyone.

Another had a patient code blue, did chest compressions in the O.R. but didn't call the code team (In ICU and OR, we handle our own codes, traditionally, and don't have the unsterile code team come into the O.R.) The airway was the problem, the anesthesiologist had trouble, the patient didn't do well. But it took him years to get through it, and fortunately, the jury sided with him.

I think he got painful and severe arthritis from all the anger between that lawsuit and his divorce which happened a few years before.

Pretty much every doc you see out there has had something happen. My boss just got sued and it took five years of headache. My mentor was wrongfully terminated, and sued my boss. Everything settled. But it ages you and takes so much time. Just being collateral to their conflict cost me tons--to get a lawyer to be with me for my deposition ($3,000 plus a lost day of work), to incorporate (another chunk like that, because you can't wrongfully terminate a corporation--my boss changed the rules so to sign a contract to work with him I couldn't be a sole proprietor,  none of us could), and tax penalties (because my taxes weren't corporate, before, and making the switch has had some major hiccups--so many rules to understand and so many deadlines--my tax man and I were out of sync but now it's going to be okay).

Beneath this all, surprisingly, I feel joy.

I know I am loved by Creator. 

I know this is Illusion.

I know everything works for the Highest Good, in ways I can't possibly understand. 

I know to have a career with over twenty years in the hospital, with just this one thing, is pretty darn good. I've been subpoenaed once as a witness. 

People at the hospital were saying that they were having 'one of those days where nothing goes right'.  My friend the cranky hand surgeon who takes wonderful care of Anthony with all his orthopedic mishaps--said that and I said, 'so am I. I just got served. It feels awful.'

Tonight he texted me, and said if I ever need to vent, he's there for me.

How would I know he was that good of a friend if things hadn't been wrong on my end?

I don't know.

I'm going to sleep now.

There are dirty dishes in the sink from two days ago. The pets haven't been fed since morning. There's a super early case tomorrow morning. Another friend and cranky surgeon (cardiothoracic--aren't they ALL cranky?--lol)--is waiting to cut at eight as is the tradition in all heart rooms across America...which requires me being able to start my work at six thirty, which means I am at work by six.

When it rains it really rains lol.

Ross

Carla is taking it in stride.

She is clear on one thing--what she can control, and what she can't.

She knows I am 'available to assist'.

She asked me, point blank, 'what IS all of this?!'

I told her how things would turn out--not to be shared here, but the last page of the mystery, Carla knows.

She still has to work through her lesson.

And Carla is going to do just that (makes fingers walk on the table) one day at a time, one minute at a time, all the while connected to me.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Control Rods and Grief Consciousness

Dude,  there is so little time right now, I'm writing freaking Cliff's Notes.

Time is speeding up.

I'm going to hit three main points.

I have a degree in Chemical Engineering. Please look at this diagram. It's a nuclear reactor. Please look to part e on the diagram.

The reactor is taking place in the chamber. The reason it doesn't go Chernobyl or Three Mile Island on those people by the water next to the power plant is because of e--the Control Rods.

They are graphite and absorb the nuclear reaction to keep it controlled. The workers and nuclear engineers determine just how much of them to stick in at any one time, how far to stick them in, and when to renew/replace each rod.

You are called to be a Conscious 'transmuter' of the energy of grief whenever Ascension begins to show itself around you...follow your heart and connect to Source, and you are going to be okay.

Here is an example of how I did it yesterday:

I am in the Operating Room for a routine case, and we are waiting for our surgeon. The energy had been light all day. The scrub tech had recently gotten married. I had teased her because she didn't invite me, and we know each other well enough that we like each other it's just a family thing, and that's fine with me. I teased her and said, 'I was on call anyway'.

I am charting, the drapes are up, and I hear loud vocal noises. REALLY loud.  I'm not sure if it's laughing or crying.

It's my friend the scrub tech doubled over and screaming.  

My 'doctor' reflexes and instincts kicked in.

I observe the circulating nurse has the phone to her ear, and the scrub is crying over a painful message from her family.

Her cousin just committed suicide.

The energy of grief in that room was just about the strongest I've ever felt.  And I deal with strong energies on a regular basis.

The nurse and I kept soothing our scrub tech by gently rubbing her back and her arm, until she got off the phone, and the nurse held her while she sobbed.

I'm an authority figure in this situation.

I'm a healer.

I KNOW something is up because there have been more than one suicide related to our work family recently--the energies are just getting to some people, and they have their own reason and decide to go. 

I am connected strongly to Source as I can, and I say to my friend, 'It's not your fault'.

Those are huge words of healing.

Something Awful that Can't Be Changed?

Say to the person--even if in a way it IS their fault (smoking causes cancer, etc)--It's NOT YOUR FAULT.

This shifts the person from victim to one who can take action.

Then I asked, gently and carefully, 'was the family kind of expecting this maybe some day to happen?'

The answer was a resounding YES! She had taken her cousin to the ER after an overdose of pills, and talked her into living, and given her much support. They had been together at the wedding, and the cousin had called her to 'hang out' afterwards too. She had wanted to really 'try to get better'.

Now this.

Again, as the voice of authority in that situation, I looked her in the eyes and said, 'It is a terrible disease your cousin had', 'Go and be with your family and don't think about here'  and 'You are in no condition to drive, can someone give you a ride?'

She had carpooled with her husband. He was on his way.

THIS is what  a control rod does.

It took me some time to get my own energy calm after it, all of us in the OR including the surgeon who came in after our scrub left, were shaken.  And fortunately, a replacement scrub was called by the nurse at the beginning, and he was ready to assume the duties after the new bride had left.

Yesterday my stress levels went through the roof. I could barely keep them in check.

Mercury is going normal again--and the full moon has its effects--but for me, they were good and something was up yesterday.

I can't explain it. I have my thoughts about it, but I keep it to myself.

The child care/kid/sports schedule coordination combination with my work schedule reached new levels of despair for me yesterday.

The tryouts switched at the last minute from Thursday to Tuesday. So did the location. Both parents had to work. A grandparent was called that day to take Anthony.  He also had an after school enrichment activity starting that day.

Right as I get the email 'cancelled due to rain', grandmother is picking Anthony up from school. He is very unhappy.

And I had been trying all day to get coverage so I could go to a meeting where I get paid as an anesthesia computer consultant, but my surgeon was late and things weren't working out.

Furthermore...during my gap between cases, when I would eat lunch as planned, a quick case in radiology got assigned to me with nobody saying anything. I showed up and not a soul was there. I saw on the list, 'CX' --cancelled?

I asked the radiologist, they said it was not clear on that case--confusing.

I called the holding area and patient had just showed up.

I told the radiologist we have a deadline--not sure when--but specimens can't go after to main lab.  Someone told me it was two. But the courier would wait if we told them.

I told him we need his firepower.  I coordinated and relayed all the information with the holding area. We had anesthesia ready, patient ready, radiology ready and no CT tech in sight.  Another coordinator came in and assured us all paperwork was ready.

There was a baby shower.

The worker came in with a little plate filled with goodies from the pot luck and asked, 'Would you like a cookie?'

I said, 'No, I would not like a cookie!' literally annoyed at the lack of patient care, as well as my having to answer their phones and be an intern all over again. (ER was ready with a patient for the scanner too).

This same CT tech had cancelled this patient YESTERDAY and today was a make up!!

Can you believe it?

This is the kind of caring money doesn't buy. And this is what happens in organized, government paid medicine--the patient can wait, they can be inconvenienced, they can come back.

And to make matters worse? the CT Tech and the patient had the SAME DISEASE!

She kept saying it--how she's had chemo and all this--but she didn't CARE to help the patient who had her same disease and kept eating cookies.

It's shameful.

So after a day like this, on the drive home, where I had to go out of my way to pick Anthony up from his grandparents...Ross asked, what would you like?

I said to him, I give up.

I want a cake and I want a party. A cheap cake from the grocery store with a graduation hat on it, to let me know Ascension is done and I've finished and I can get on with my life.

He was pleasantly surprised, because I hate parties and only wanted to go crawl under a rock and hide from the world once I was done. For the longest time I was like that. So in wanting some acknowledgement in a public way for all of us, it is a sign of progress, for someone who dislikes social events as much as I do, to ask 'for a party'.

He asked me to write about it. So I am.


P.S. F.Z. and your vastness of nada--I'm not giving one ounce of my energy to you and your ways. Same to co-BRA, and all the other people out there writing 'things'. I only trust two sources--one is Gaia Portal, the other is John Smallman. Ah yes, and The Council. That makes three. Everything else just isn't in the right bandwidth to be useful to me any more.


Clap! Clap!--that's Ross. Anthony needs to be up early to shower, and I'm late for work and it's time for breakfast.

(Thank you honey for reminding me it's time to go to work.

I love you.)





Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Ross and Carla
The Twins