What Happened?

 

Today I had a late start. 

It's funny. Yesterday I thought to go to the gym to swim, but instead Spirit sent me to my old Pilates studio, and the discount store. A little retail therapy did me a world of good.

This morning I had thought to go to the gym before work...then I remembered it's Ash Wednesday. I decided to go to Mass. I haven't been in a very long time. 

Our local neighborhood church went through a 'pardon our dust' when Anthony was little. I didn't understand the need to scrap a perfectly functioning 1980's church, for a 'more modern' 2000's one. They had said the old one was too small, but this one here wasn't that much bigger! The old church is now a parking lot. There's a new church, hall, offices...parking with those solar carports. 

There had been changes. Instead of saying, 'and also with you' we say 'with your spirit' which I refuse. I'm old school. Gone is the cup at communion. And gone are the shaking of hands for the sign of peace. New is the bottles of sanitizer at every entrance. In the back was the prayer request book, and I put myself in there for my repair and recovery of my knee. 

Why did I leave the church? 

By 2012 I was a big donator ($100 a week) and I went every week to Mass. Anthony was baptized. We went to Fish Fry's (and he would win the lottery, three hundred dollars as a tot! lol). I'd been going since I was sixteen, actually, thirteen, and even my college roommate and I used to go to mass together. 

I remember on my medical school interviews, in Baltimore, pulling into a church, getting on my knees, and saying the most important prayer I've ever said. It was to Blessed Mother. And I said, 'thank you for being good.' I meant it.

When I took the red pill, and learned what goes on under the facade of the church, I could no longer in good conscience participate or donate. No matter what they say, it just all trickles back to THEM. TWDNHOBIAH.

It hurt. A lot. 

So today, I was talking with Ross. I was seeing so much perspective. I saw the early church of the apostles. How it took root. How the early Christians nurtured it. Then somehow the Babylonian idol worshippers (to put it mildly) infiltrated it. 

I was looking at layers and layers of good and bad, intrigue and deceit. I asked Ross, 'What happened?'

At the same time, I realized that if church is built by God, even if people who run it aren't holy, it still can have a powerful function. I recall back in college a wacky priest threw a bible down on the floor during his  sermon and jumped on it, saying 'it was only a book!'.  He was impaired, clearly, but the sacraments were still functioning. 

Ross said he would explain it to me. But also, I sense that there are things 'built in' to the church that are in a way, 'counter espionage' against the Dark. For example, today, after Mass, we said the prayer to St. Michael. It's a powerful exorcism prayer!  

I also realized how everything we think is 'good' or at least, 'structure'--government, education, church, etc--has the infiltration problem. 

There's no escaping it. 

I wait for Ross' reply.

During the meditation after communion, I saw Divine Father. He was very gentle. And he said that this 'movie' cannot be a Hallmark movie because it's for the boys as well as the girls. There are many out there who LIKE a little chaos and 'action'. He wants it to be a good movie that makes an impact to all. 

So he's okay if I hide my eyes (he knows how sick I feel from watching violence). 

He also told me that for Lent he wants me not to give anything up. But to buy myself flowers each week. Starting today. And so I went to the local grocery store and found something because for twelve dollars. 

I'm glad I'm being listened to. And grateful for the responses, both from today and the ones in the future.

Ross says, 'everything works out for the best'.

Now I'll get ready for work.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

A Conversation

 

Things are moving in so many different directions at once! I will hit the highlights in this blog post. But the most important is this conversation I had with Ross not too long ago:

C:  Ross?

R:  Yes, Carla.

C:  I might be alive in the times referred to at the last part of the Bible. Things are matching really close. But I don't like it.

R:  In what way?

C:  I don't understand how God works, Ross. I know He has His Plans. And some of them include violence. It's written all through the Bible of wars and pillaging and vanquishing enemies. Even the plan for Salvation included murder, a horrific one. There's all kinds of deaths predicted in the end of the Bible. 

I don't see why we can't just have a happy story like the Hallmark channel with a little struggle and a nice ending. 

Ross? If it's okay with you I want to cover my eyes for this part of the movie. Just let me know when it's okay for me to look again.

That was a really big realization for me. I've been through enough trauma in all my various incarnations, that I've frankly had enough of this 'Biblical Action'. I accept and allow--I don't fight it because I understand there's a Plan with a capital 'P'--but I have my limits. 

Another big movement, is that I realized that our home, although disorganized and cluttered, is comfortable. It lets us live and enjoy our lives without being slaves to the home. 

I discovered a wonderful resource online too. Here's a video that reminds me lots of how my dad and Ross used to teach me:  How to have Confidence!

Her house organization one is good too.

How about my health?

The anterior cruciate ligament is no more. There's other things too. It's swollen, and stiff and sore. 

Oddly enough, after I dropped off the Pilates Bar I used as a cane/crutch on that fateful day eleven days ago...I stopped by a local discount retail store. I want a new flannel nightgown. Nightgowns in general are getting harder and harder to find. It's all pajamas. 

I did find some sweat pants to make dressing easier for work and home. 

A woman commented on how pretty the rose pink ones were as I was admiring them. She said that all she can wear now are sweat pants because of her knees and the pain. She's been home for nine months now. 

I was astonished and told her I just found out today about my ACL. How sad I am to need to repair it. How painful and sore it is too. 

She asked me my name.

I told her.

She started to pray to Jesus right there in the middle of the store, OUT LOUD, to help me, to help my knee heal, and to have NO PAIN. 

As soon as she said NO PAIN my knee felt better!

She also said there would be a miracle and to look for it.

Her name was Mary.

I told her too how my leg is God's leg, I'm borrowing it, and He can do with it what he wills. His will, not mine. I'm thankful it's worked for so many years...

She said that helped her. 

People are going to be increasingly interested in Spirit. Ultimately the Jewish brothers and sisters will pick up where they left off years and years ago, and lead many many souls to Heaven! 

Even though The World Leaders are saying things that are true about what goes on hidden in plain sight in the US, it's in the Bible that alliance, and although it's valiant they will not succeed. Not against the AC. 

Only one can defeat that one. 

Which reminds me, Hope Johnson was talking about her relationship with Jesus in the most beautiful way on her Wisdom Dialogs. Let me see if I can find the link:  voila! here's the link!

You may know too that Lisa from Angelorum Tarot had a--deliverance?--from a serpent python demon and is now totally Christian and ketogenic too. 

I think now is a good time to make sure you know your Father's voice--and your Mother's too <3 It's fascinating times! At least what I'm letting myself see through my fingers during this 'movie' lol!

I think the most important thing is to accept and allow--whatever people find are right for them to do, and for you to do. 

I'll share something I haven't in a long time.

I was doing a pique turn when I felt a guitar string pop in my right knee. I was at a class at Irvine University High School as a resident in surgery. Maria Chand, MD, an ENT resident, was teaching the dance class. 

She was right on me and examining my knee when I fell. It hurt. But I could walk. I limped to the car, a stick shift mind you! I drove myself to my apartment, a low-income one bedroom in Costa Mesa, about twenty minutes away. 

I sat in my bed with ice on my knee, my leg propped up on pillows, and I was crying my heart out. I loved dance. And this was bad! I had my Orthopedic Exam book on my lap, and was blindly flipping the pages from one page to the next, wondering what I had done to myself. 

In the corner of my room, was Blessed Mother. She was crying as hard as me. And kept saying over and over again, 'God has made a miracle! God has made a miracle! God has made a miracle!'

It wasn't until after my healing, my surgery, my healing from that, my marriage, that I was at a stoplight, and Blessed Mother told me, 'you will one day dance again!' and then I really bawled, because dance is one of the greatest joys of my heart.

She was right.

I didn't know how it would happen.

One day Frank saw a ballet class at our gym, 24 hour fitness. He said I should go. I looked into it. It cost eight dollars extra. I was a chief resident and would schedule my calls so I could go to classes post-call.

Jay was an excellent teacher. I ended up going up on pointe. I learned about Miss Sara and her studio from Jay. I ended up dancing even more as an attending! I was in the Nutcracker twice, and La Bayadere too. Being a Shade was one of my favorite roles, I even wore a tutu. 

I ended up donating my costume from that other dance class when I hurt myself--we were going to perform --to the new studio.

In fellowship I got to dance where I couldn't afford it in medical school--The San Diego Ballet. I took pointe classes, regular classes, and even at home in the kitchen every day I did a barre. 

I danced up until I was seven months pregnant. 

She was right!

Well, what about this leg?

There was no warning. There hadn't been either the last time. I've been working to be in shape and loose weight. When I went down I knew it was bad. I hoped it wasn't as bad, but it is actually worse as there is a meniscus tear. 

I didn't see Blessed Mother. I didn't even cry. I had to be a mom. Keep things running. It was like a joke my hobbling around. Anthony took it serious. For example, if I took a shower, he was home, listening for a possible THUD, and was ready to call 911 if I slipped. 

But the other night, I was in so much pain I drifted in and out of sleep. And I woke up to Jesus. He was holding my knee in his hands. He's the most wonderful healer. I was happy to be in his care. 

I still don't understand why this happened. Anthony told me today it's 'mom, you have to realize you are not twenty five any more!' 

Even a surgeon who has been mean to me, gave me good advice, since he's had his ACL. He said to stay active and swim. I enjoyed being active in Pilates. At the ER my blood pressure and heart rate and oxygen had improved since before I've been exercising. 

Thank you for all of the healing you have sent, and for the prayers, and for the cheering me up. It's meant so much. 

Ross is happy. And he shakes his head 'no' on if he has anything to say. It's late, and he wants me to get my rest. I've meant to write this for two days now. So here it is.

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Aloha and mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins, one who has one good knee, and the other who has a pair of good knees <3

It Starts At Home

 

Our purpose of this blog has been to help you and inform you as the spiritual changes take place around us. 

The pace has quickened.

More like a three-ring circus, there are changes going forward on every front. On the home front the economic squeeze is being felt as the noose of control is being tightened. Around the world, if you listen to Ben Fulford--not to say he's correct and others are incorrect--there is global conflict going on behind the scenes as major controllers of the economy are going bankrupt, and the bankrupt controllers are not going down without a fight.

We are alive in a multi-faceted war. It is Spiritual. But also, information, political, economic, with biological and unknown technology implicated. 

It's not good.

Yesterday I was at the orthopedic surgeon's office. A gentleman perhaps ten years older than me, was standing, and he couldn't perceive me asking to let me walk by. He was in a trance with the television. He caught himself after I asked and moved and said, 'oh I was just staring at the TV'. 

There are a lot more people like him than like you out there. A LOT of people. 

Just look at the Super Bowl.

Humans like a story where the hero wins. 

They will put all kinds of money towards their heroes, not only in fan merchandise but in gambling too. 

It makes them feel better, like there's a bedtime story, like the world is understandable...even though all signs point to our being 'free' on some elaborate 'ranch' without 'borders'. 

What do we do?

Well, there are some revivals happening.

Those are from the Holy Spirit.

We are going to see a lot more of those. Including the Jewish people who will be right on target when it is their time. 

Remember, darkness hates the Holy Spirit. And darkness will infiltrate and mock and destroy and lie. 

Real revivals needs a strong leader who cannot be compromised by darkness. And who knows how to keep it away.

That's why we are at risk for overwhelm.  Everything is coming at us from all over the place, psychologically.

And that is why there is so much need for self-care, kindness to self, and daily quiet time to connect with Creator. 

It's kind of like our hiking trail has turned rocky and straight up. So, take breathers. Drink pure water. Regroup. Even if you need to do this more often than not. 

Remind yourselves that this conflict has a guaranteed outcome. And it does. It just might get a little 'bumpy' along the way.

When things happen--for example, for me, with my knee injury--accept it and move on. Do the best you can. I told God my leg is his anyway. I'd love to be able for it to heal and be strong. But God's will, not mine. 

Do I have pain? Yes. Lots of it. Hard to sleep. Hard to walk. Ice helps. I have a good doctor, I'll take things one step at a time (no pun intended).  'Why me?' isn't a thought I have the resources inside me to entertain. 

You will learn who are helpful people around you. And you will find your way. 

By contrast, there's a beautiful world of Nature, just right outside. There are the stars in the Heavens, the little plants trying to grow after winter here in the Northern Hemisphere. We have our families and loved ones (furry and human!) and these are true gifts!

Remember to appreciate these wonderful things while they are accessible. <3

Ross says that this is enough for today.

He reassures us we have supernatural guidance. And to listen to it.

It might be wise to check and cross-check all incoming spiritual information--just in case! Be prudent. As this is a complex, unconventional 'war'.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Freedom

 

How are you?

It's been a while since the last blog post, yes?

Absolutely.

There's been a lot of very deep growing and healing work going on. None of it has been painful. Not like in the past.

A lot of it has the theme of letting go and letting your Life Purpose take control with full and complete acceptance. 

I recently took time to attend a conference in Maui, Hawaii, the United States.  This was our view at sunset. That island is Lanai, the island my son and I last visited. And the boat, if you can see the mast off on the left, is the Gemini catamaran. 

There was a time I thought for sure Hawaii held a curse for me.

Really!

I mean it.

My honeymoon in 1988 there was heavenly, but I had a cold, it was in Kauai.  All was well.

But the second time, my first husband and I went there for a wedding of one of his childhood friends who was dying of AIDS. It was kind of happy-sad. And it was a real strain on the marriage. His friend separated us, and had his closest ones with him for every pre-wedding, wedding and post-wedding event. I was stuck talking with strangers. I felt very alone. We didn't know at the time he was dying. We just knew he was getting married. It was later when he passed his wife let us know how very sick he had been.

My first time to Maui was to Wailea, at the Fairmont Kea Lani. 

That's where the lei making instructor gently told me the truth, I wasn't really married, and I should wear the flower on my right ear, not my left. My second husband made me cry at a meal, and I left the table. I had been torn, and at the Luau the night before I'd decided he wasn't perfect but I was happy enough with him to stay. But the next day we decided to divorce. He slept on the couch in the suite, I got the bed. It was so cold.

Once we got home he put all my belongings in our bedroom and he split the house down the middle. I could barely walk into my room! 

Huge change it was for me. 

Huge change.

It wasn't until a cardiac anesthesia conference to Honolulu the next year that I realized the curse wasn't real. It was just a strange coincidence.

Until I went to Maui again. Anthony was three. And even though this was January of 2009, and everything seemed wonderful to be able to travel again, within months my job was no more--no longer an Associate Professor of Anesthesia. It shook me to my core and I had to scramble.

If you notice, in the last fourteen years, I've been to Oahu, Kauai, Lanai, Big Island--but NOT to Maui!

So I did a lot of deep meditation. 

What I learned was, losing my academic position led to greater financial stability for us. And losing that husband number two? I didn't even cry over him! I'd shed all my tears. 

So, I don't know what my Life Purpose has for me.

It looks like there's a huge separation if my son chooses to attend college out of state. 

But there could be other changes too, I don't know. And I'm glad and happy and grateful to have grown enough to accept that Maui has been the beginning of the biggest life changes I've ever had. I fully accept it. I know and trust in my Creator and my guides and my Higher Self that whatever IS, is going to be okay. 

Can you believe that's me writing this? I know right? I used to hate my Higher Self. A lot! LOL. And I have it in writing too!

Ross and I grow closer by the day. 

I spoke with him about how much I appreciate his love for me, and for his giving me the freedom to choose what lessons I would like--the ones that don't interfere with the main ones already written in my Life Script. And it's really great. Really.  I know he loves me and supports me in my efforts to pick up skills I want to have 'under my belt' and 'ready' before I get to Heaven.

I also am okay with people not really knowing me or anything about me from back Home. 

I figure is Home is filled with official activities and commitments and stuff like that, then to be a nobody here is a real treat! One I should enjoy with all of my being. And I am.

There was a doctor here who was hit by a car when he was riding a bicycle. And then the driver came out and stabbed him! He died I believe in his own emergency room. 

I was driving to work, and he popped into my awareness. He was politely coughing, nervous, stammering really to approach me. I was vaguely remembering some of that feeling from being back Home as he did that. He asked me what he should call me, and I gently said, 'Carla! of course! I wouldn't have it any other way.'

First thing he said was, 'Carla, that man of yours up here, he's not all that bad...'

I smiled. Last time IZ was the one who told me I should 'give him a chance'. Ross has good wingmen. But I laugh because Ross and I are closer than close now. We really are. As far as my being incarnate will permit. 

Then I asked how he's doing, this doctor? First he thanked me for being incarnate, in his area he lived, and for the work I do. Then he said, 'you get a certain age, you can't work any more, so either way, death or retirement, it's just about the same.'  

It was practical, yes. Sad though, since he's fifty-eight like me.

Then he told me something extra. When I'm doing my doctor work, I'm not just getting compensated on Earth for the good I am doing for my patients (body/mind/soul work, not just medicine).  He confided that I'm being paid at the same time, in Heaven currency, and the pay there is way, way better than anything we could imagine here! He says that pay is incredible!

There is a bible verse about storing up treasures in Heaven.

I believe all of us need the reminder about how well we are doing here, and how it translates to good things in the afterlife. Lasting things that will make our afterlife experience absolutely wonderful beyond our wildest dreams!

Ross had asked me to write about Freedom two or three days ago. I wanted to, but was tired. I still haven't unpacked and it's almost a week being home. 

He wrote through John Smallman things along the same lines as our discussions. I'm sure you probably have read it already, but I'll give you the link here: article if you're interested.

Anthony was out all week with a virus he picked up on vacation. I caught it but had to work. I had headache bad on Tuesday, and yesterday I felt feverish. My nose was really running bad. So today, he went to his dad's and I slept in. Until nine thirty (my normal wakeup is about five a.m.). I spent the day in my pajamas and took a long nap too. That kind of freedom is also a blessing! To be able to heal the body and let it rest.

Ross doesn't want to add to this message. He just smiles and waves.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Cousins who kiss <3 (he came up with that one....sigh!)