Spiritual Learning Is Limitless

 

Am I still crying?

Yes.

I have plans to go to lunch with an old friend, she has it kind of worse than me, and I hope to cheer her up. You know the saying 'be careful what you wish for?' (you just might get it).  She was a single mom like me, was dating, and wanted to get married. She did. But he has a terrible temper it turns out, and is really mean to her. I know they love each other very much. It's so sad. She puts him in his place and sets boundaries and holds him accountable. She does all the right things. It is exhausting. 

Anyhow, before the crying jag, Ross had a message and gently today he reminded me to share it.

I'd like to bring your attention to the beautiful 'Om' pendant in the photo. I'm wearing mine, which had diamonds in it too. All tiny ones along the entire metal of the Om. 

When I got to Karuna Reiki Master, I thought that was as high as my Reiki skills were going to go. It's the highest class offered by my teacher. During the class, I wore a nice dress, brought a special mug that said Love on it, and was surprised during my attunement to meet not one but two guides, Ross and Buddha. Ross was a little formal, and reserved. I'd seen him once or twice after communion years earlier when I was in Medical school. I didn't understand how a person could have two Reiki guides, usually I have met one at each level. 

Mine are, in order of increasing level, Mikao Usui, Blessed Mother, Eric from Sirius, Kamehameha, Jesus and Buddha. 

I didn't know Ross was paying a social visit, to see me, I totally didn't understand. Just like I didn't understand years earlier why he showed me his project (New Earth) and asked my opinion on it. 

I remember back then, feeling like it was the most natural thing in the world to have him consider my opinion, and I noticed he looked tired and worn. So I told him matter of fact that he didn't have to continue in this any more, it's taking too much out of him, and why not just give all of his job responsibilities to like, the Buddha? He has to take care of first things first. He explained and mumbled why he couldn't but the dynamic was there--I look out for Him when everyone else looks out for number one and for what He can do for them. 

So anyhow to celebrate completion of Karuna Reiki Master teacher, I got this necklace which I figured would be the last one I'd ever wear. It was on sale at Macy's. That was back when I used to read the ads.

I've since worn lots of other necklaces.

And the teaching point?

After that, I learned Galactic Reiki levels one, two and master teacher, Agarthan Reiki, Gaia Sophia Reiki and this one now I haven't taught anyone and don't even know the name of. All of these forms of healing came through me. Typically others found the first symbol, and showed me and the rest just came through.  I've also done videos of the keys, the healing ones. And Marc Gamma entrusted me with the Divine Healing Codes as their caretaker. 

I heal entire stadiums and theme parks. Yesterday there were over twenty-seven thousand in attendance, not counting the stadium working staff. All at once. I help set geographic healing for Gaia's energy flow systems. Daily Reiki and Divine Peace Healing has been going out to millions of people a day, daily, for over twelve years running. I've learned to manage negative attachments and dark attachments. The Guides of Compassionate Healing and I work very closely together. 

Someone I care about recently had a headache and the chills. I was able to scan the energy from a distance. I was stumped because the life force was very low, all over, shockingly low, and I couldn't find a 'source' for the infection. I only saw lower energy in the throat chakra, and something in the left calf.  I asked Archangel Raphael for guidance, He pointed out the top of the throat like where the tonsils are, and the eustachian tubes. It turns out it was a pretty bad case of Covid. That's exactly where I saw lit up in green is where the virus replicates. The left calf is likely a tiny clot/DVT. There had been recent air travel. 

I've grown so much as a healer.

Way, way, way more than I thought possible when I bought myself that necklace with the diamonds and Om. 

It's nice to look back, and to appreciate ourselves for our healing energy. And the progress we've made.

I'm having nice chats with Ross this morning. He gave me a bouquet of flowers too, spirit ones. It helps. 

Even though being human can be challenging, especially keeping our hearts open and embodying Love in this place where so many people are under the influence of zombie-fying factors and their hearts are more closed than a mussel or clam or oyster shell--it's important to be here nonetheless. Take it easy. Try not to take it personal. And just give yourself a break from the chores and expectations when you go through healing like I've been doing. 

A lot of what I talked about with Ross is that I feel broken in my ability to 'attach' emotionally to anyone. Even my brother who was so open and we talked daily, once I friended him, stopped. Ross assured me, so very gently, that the next one I attach to will actually come and attach emotionally to me, and it's going to be okay. Everything will work. 

I need to go prepare and I'll meet my friend.

I hope this lesson helps you. Yesterday I took the 'blood' of my broken dreams and sorrow, and added it as 'payment' or 'offering' to Divine Creator during the healing I sent out from Angel stadium. It seemed to 'stick' better and have more effect than my usual healings. So, if you're blue and suffering, why not put that suffering up to good use as a gift, a precious pearl of a spiritual being having a human experience being incarnate? Creator appreciates all of our creations, especially our lessons, and it also helps us to separate and move on from our suffering too, by making it a gift of healing for those who are deeply, deeply, deeply asleep.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Moon In Cancer

 

Dude, I am WORKING!

On very important soul work.

Probably the most important, for I'm preparing within for Ross. Right now, I've worked myself through two days of crying, and I'm being assisted by Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael.

You could say, in a way, I've reached spiritual-emotional rock bottom. 

Well, Carla, what IS there for you at Emotional Rock Bottom?

Grief.

There is Grief.

There is the last, deepest layer of grief over someone I once knew when I was young, someone with a charming personality and we definitely click, someone I look up to as my hero, someone who underestimates my intelligence and doesn't really listen but who I adore completely, who stubbornly goes on his own way to his destiny, and gets into mortal danger...there is nothing I can do to help or prevent it or even console this man that I so deeply LOVE. I have to wait for him to do whatever he has to do, and pick up where we left off, if he wants to return to me, if at all. Even if it's not exactly 'conventional'.

At the same time, I have to let go of all hope of ever 'getting it right'.

Then, there is also ANXIETY.

Anxiety over an arranged marriage to someone who isn't in the physical, who doesn't exactly have 'good days' and 'bad days'...and it's not going to be some small private twenty-five people over ceremony at that. 

Archangel Michael reassured me that one day I WILL 'get it right'. And all of this grief and heartache is going to be long time in my past, way, way, way behind me.

I have to trust in Creator, that all is working together for the highest possible good, no matter how it may appear or feel at this time. 

That this crying and hitting rock bottom is me finally being permitted to feel things I've been repressing deep within my soul for a long, long, very long time.  So it's freeing. Even though it's very sad.

Earlier today Ross had me reflect upon all the things he's done in this life to show he loves me. There's Anthony, Ross asked me if I wanted a child, one morning when I was away on conference in Hawaii, and I said 'yes!'. So he broke the rules and let me have that one dream come true. 

He's guided me and helped me survive and find a decent place to live that wasn't falling apart...he protects me.

And Archangel Raphael gave me a cup of something to drink, and it numbed all the soul pain I had been experiencing. So I could function with my day.

Do not be afraid to take the time to let all of these feelings up and OUT.

You may find yourself in situations which are uncannily similar to ones in the past that didn't work out so well, and you may find you are getting your hopes up for a chance to 'get it right'--finally! 

Remember we all belong to Divine Creator. Each and every one of us. Even Ross, as well as me.

We need to find to courage to let go of our loved ones, and place them in Creator's hand. Or Ross' hand. Even our pets. 

Then we need to remind ourselves that every interaction we get with those we love, it truly, truly, truly, a gift to be cherished. There is no entitlement to such things. Everything is a brand new gift, every day. The bed head in your children. The meal shared at table. The coming home to a sense of 'normalcy'. 

Even the lessons and the pain which often accompanies them is a gift, for it makes us better people in the afterlife as well as while we are still incarnate.

Here's a song In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel which catches the emotions...and here is the Schumann Resonance Frequency which is dutifully ramping up.

Emotions are gifts. 

Be brave enough to experience them.

And heal.

clap! clap!

Aloha and mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twin Souls

No One Is To Blame

 

The storm is upon us!

Five generations of deep occult planning have brought us to this moment, the first of what I anticipate to be many, many opportunities for 'the un-occult-educated' to completely flip out and create social upheaval and unrest.

Yesterday with the outrage over the Roe vs Wade Supreme Court decision (which, I may add, does absolutely nothing new to our home state of California)--I had to stop and step back, and admire the absolute genius of evil that goes into planning these things.

You take advantage of the perception, by moving the chess pieces so slowly they move just a little from one generation to the next, barely noticeable, and chalked off as 'youth'l--but you create a hunger for a 'right', you make it clear of the disadvantages of people who don't get that 'right' (coat hangers, anyone?), you get another generation experiencing a need for such 'right' (summer of love, anyone?) and create products which are in alignment with the desired outcome (birth control?)...then you let mothers and their daughters and their daughters daughters experience this 'option' and suddenly it is taken away! Revolt! Revolution!

And I laugh because most of the 'un-occult-educated' can't see the forest for the trees. This is IT. This is the hill they want to die on...

They have no clue that this planning takes into account all kinds of interactions and possible outcomes. And that this is but the first of many designed to antagonize the 'un-occult-educated' masses against anything that is associated with the Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism, Muslim). 

It is only with extreme unrest and suffering that the AC can step on the stage and accomplish two things--be widely accepted by the 'un-occult-educated' and eradicate the Abrahamic faith off the face of the planet, therefore ensuring only worship of him as God.

Have you studied evil?

Seriously.

Not like in the movies. That's bogus.

Like in reading Kerth Barker and all those tales of the survivors who have escaped the system?

Do you know what goes into creating a mind-controlled slave? 

Do you have any inkling of how the mind works in trauma-based programming?

It helps if you study the enemy. If you don't know who Svali is, or Fritz, or Cisco, or Cathy and Mark...well...The storm is here and you're probably going to have to take my word for it because these resources, original sources, aren't easy to find. 

All I can say is, it's starting to get really cool to watch, the battlefield. These are two formidable opponents, good and evil. And how the 'masses' are getting swept up in it is fascinating. 

So, what can you do to help fight or at least help anchor the light where you are?

Listen to this music video by Howard Jones. Remember, no one is to blame. No one. Not them, not us, we just can't know the whole story until we are no longer incarnate. It doesn't matter, the blame. Not at this point. Blaming isn't going to accomplish anything.

Save souls.

That's what matters.

Do your best and angels can do no better. 

Your inner guidance is stronger than all of my studies, but you must keep your ego in check, know yourself well, and keep your connection to Source and your guides absolutely pristine. Know that the enemy is going to do everything in its power to knock you on your butt and disconnect you. Be ready to get back up and keep fighting...when that happens (notice I don't say 'if')...forgive yourself, ask for Divine Forgiveness, and get back to the front lines. 

Don't quit.

Try to find someone you trust who knows the playbook of the opponent, or at least, can perceive their patterns and styles of fighting. Look for signs, secondary confirmation, and ask for those things too from Spirit. 

It's definitely going to get bumpy. We have economic hardship, political separation now for ten years that's strong and unresolved, impending starvation, pestilence, and an information war that uses highly sophisticated technology. 

Keep your heart open, make your energy a safe haven and do not lose your cool over anything. Anything! Anchor and connect to Creator. 

This is what is asked of you. 

When it comes to issues, such as this abortion one, ask yourself, and ask yourself often, 'would you rather be right? or would you rather be loved?'--be loved. Let the people get their emotions out, based on their limited perception of the situation (they only have five senses and what their mothers and friends taught them). Only someone outside the matrix would know the full and complete picture. It's not anyone's fault. So let them react--keep your distance. Do not change your vibration or let it drop. Do not enter the fray. You can't win, there is no winning, and those who are occult-educated have planned for every possible contingency so don't even think you are going to win or have a chance if you enter the discourse. It wouldn't matter even if the Holy Spirit was speaking your every word for you. At this point, the ears are closed by the egos and emotional reactions of people affected--they cannot and will not hear anything they do not agree with--and this is by design and has been built for five generations of the occult overlords of the human population.

So keep your 'zen'.

It's your best weapon you have in your arsenal.

And enjoy the fight.

Remember the next 'tidal wave' might affect a completely different group or pair of extremes in the belief spectrum as this one. They want everyone weak in the knees and off-balance. In this they are easier to control. Way easier to control, and more plausible to apply further more strict restrictions on the freedom of the 'herd' (which is what we are, basically, all of us, in their eyes of TWDNHOBIAH. Remember they want to cull the herd and enslave who survives).

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Battalion Guardians

Taking My Prescription

 

How are things going?

Much better.

Remember that the Universe gives you exactly what you need, at any given moment. Even if YOU would rather have different.

And, keep in mind that with Ross as my Soul Twin, I have infinite trust in him, and he in me. We are working within a paradigm where he is out of the matrix, and therefore, completely healed, rational, and 'otherworldly'--following the customs of Home. Meanwhile I am inside the matrix, and healing from scars I've carried upon my soul for ages. Everything has been forgiven between us for a long time. But, just like with scars, perhaps, from a burn, there is care and physical therapy needed to keep the patient able to move and function as normally as possible. For me, learning how to interact with others in a healthy way, and heal the attachment dysfunction, is first and foremost...

This past weekend was my medicine.

No Anthony. He took off for his dad's to celebrate Father's day.

No family for me. It was my old wedding anniversary but it's been thirty four YEARS. They are busy enough. 

No friends for me. Why? Because friends make you feel better. And when you need to heal, sometimes you need space to 'feel the feelings' and 'allow'.

Surprisingly, Anthony stayed Saturday to help me with two big chores I can't do easily by myself. Cleaning the rabbit and cage isn't easy. I clean the rabbit because the cage is heavy and awkward.  Then we feed the snake together. I drop the mice and he handles the snake and the feeding area.

It felt a little awkward going to Disneyland alone. It was the first time, where I wasn't going to meet anyone. I used to do this often when I was in training, long before I had Anthony.

It's a nice place to go when you are alone. I found it a challenge because usually we do whatever Anthony wants to do. This time Ross said to just be present in the moment, and not to think of anything from the past or the future. So I did. I had a nice lunch, a corn dog, because I was hungry at two. Later I bought a special dinner option so I could have a nice place to watch Fantasmic. It's easier to get into rides when it's just you. And waiting in line is no problem. I realized actually people are so much on their phones that there's not a lot of conversation even when you are in line together with others. I saw the Main Street Electrical Parade, and also, Fantasmic. The show was better than before because they made smoother transitions between the parts and the Lion King part and monkeys in glowing costumes on the rafts had newer costumes.

Yesterday I wasn't sure what to do. Do I do chores? Do I do work? Do I go have fun?

Ross told me to lie down. And I did. And as I rested, it came to me what to do, in what order. And I cleaned up a part of the house that's been bugging me for a long time. I only put the bare minimum on the counter once I sealed the stone of the counter. Then I went to the beach for the first time since April 2021. It felt wonderful to go to the beach. I just brought jerky to eat, and water. I didn't have time for a big meal and it was enough. The water felt so good. And there was music others were playing near my towel, and I was happy to hear it. I drove home, and then, cleaned and sealed the other counter. I just put all the crap in a laundry basket. And I can go over that whenever I want. But the bare minimum is ready, and visually it's so soothing and 'zen' now in an area where I go every day.

Anthony came home. I watered the garden. I had cereal for dinner. I slept fine.

Except I had a weird dream.

We were in San Francisco. And I was seeing someone's super tiny apartment/business space. They people there gave me a new keychain for my car, actually, a whole new car. It was an electric station wagon, supposedly really 'nice'. I was surprised and happy they were so kind. But later I realized they'd thrown away my old keychain, my house keys, and all the rest. I was willing to go look in the trash for them. And as they drove us in the 'new car', I realized it wasn't as nice as the old one, and I asked for my old one back. Then I woke up.

It's funny because the dream sort of segues into the final result of the prescription: accountability. It's part of the Divine Feminine we don't talk about much these days. Never, ever in Spiritual circles. Divine Feminine is either raging/destructive, like Kali, or loving/nurturing 'Earth mama'. We forget, and I use the term loosely because I suspect the dismantling of this is systematic and on purpose by TWDNHOBIAH--we forget that women are the ones who raise the young. And like Mother Elephants, we hold the wisdom of our species, the wisdom for survival. For humans, probably just as well as for elephants, our survival depends on not only knowing what and how to do it, but also, how to play a role in our society, as we are not solitary beings living on instinct. It is the Divine Feminine, that makes sure you learn a new task such as brushing your teeth or tying your shoes, and mastering it. You will be held accountable until you learn it right. This kind of standards keeps our society under the control of ourselves. And stealthily, like a thief in the night, the media, television, pop culture, being 'cool' and all these many many 'service to self' branded concepts are picking up where standards and accountability once were. 

Even in TWDNHOBIAH circles, it's the Mothers of Darkness who impost the 'posture' and perpetuate their own system. They copy what used to be here, only here in the outside, they've identified and weakened that most important function. Our mothers today are exhausted from working outside the home, from comparing themselves to others, and from having to instill some kind of manners/kindness/hope in our society. The Divine Feminine needs protection from the Divine Masculine, and yet, in relationship, often times the men just go off and do what they want to do, even leaving their partner on a whim. And sadly, the Divine Feminines as a whole aren't acting exactly 'divinely' on their own, either. Men often step in now and do work/roles where the Divine Feminine energy is utilized. That's okay, we each have a balance within ourselves...but look inside, and check on your balance. Is it leaning heavily one way or the other? Is there anything you can do to balance it? Ask Spirit to help. Spirit will always help.

So, we have gone from just being in the moment, to working in partnership with Spirit, to learning about accountability, and taking back our power.

It's been good medicine and timely too.

Ross

I am happy.

I am quite happy and delighted and content that Carla both participates and allows her lessons to take place unhindered...and that she does the work...and her growth is remarkable!

It is by her example that I encourage you to do the same. Take your lessons to heart. Allow yourself to fully immerse in them. And see where their soul guidance takes you!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Love and Gratitude Begins with YOU

 

This is a really hard lesson to describe.

It's also a painful one.

I'm in the middle of it.

Imagine trying to heal a two thousand year old wound?

Let's begin.

Recently, I'd say within the last six months, I negotiated with Ross. I wasn't happy, the relationship really is difficult over the dimensions, and in the past, well, my heart was demolished in just about every way imaginable--he gave away my son and told me he died during childbirth (was stillborn), he wandered all over the globe away from home and family, he 'wasn't true' and brought home a horrible venereal disease to me, and died a horrible death that I tried with every fibre of my body to prevent but he just wouldn't listen. 

I walk around with a lot of pain.

But in my negotiations, I explained how our relationship had two or three areas that I really needed to improve before we get back together according to the plan: number 1--I need a solid target to direct my affection towards, not some amorphous 'cloud' of 'consciousness', since I am human, and number 2--I need the skill to be able to talk about my feelings in real time, I'm not good at this in relationship (writing is another story lol! I excel at it there).

Ross is extremely reasonable and fair, especially now that we are past that old life, and has me on the accelerated healing path. 

Somehow, after our discussion, I find I am in a situation where there is distance, lots of similarity in how Ross' personality is, enough to make me have newfound compassion for him, and little bits of talking, here and there that are incredibly healing for me. With no plan or outcome or expectation in sight.

Many of my deepest wounds are healing in this situation. The horror of not being able to trust another human, ingrained in me since I was in the crib...it's loosening up and my heart is able to attach properly again. The way God intended it. The way it is all of our birth right. 

I'm gently being guided to learn that my past, no matter how terrifying or traumatic it has been, is okay to leave in the past. It doesn't show. And it's okay for me to move forward and to forget about it. 

I am able to say, 'I might do these strange and weird things because I have been traumatized and I'm learning how to heal and to interact in a normal fashion, kind of like catch up growth'--and then I move forward in complete and total acceptance of friendship, a very deep connection, on a soul level that is hard to explain. 

I am being brought up to the skill set that on a soul level, I feel I need to meet this minimum criterion before I can interact with Ross face to face when that eventual time comes. This is mutual, by Ross and me, and I can sense it because lately I see messages like, 'your guardian angel never leaves you'. He's trying his part on it too.

For me, I am holding on for dear life as we go through these lessons together, me and my guides, because just as I make one massive healing (last weekend) I move on to the next one (distance again without reassurance or connection of any kind).  The other lesson superimposed on this, is that Anthony is growing up, literally, working full time, and at one point is going to either go away to school or start his own life...it's sad because the happiest and most fulfilled I ever have been was when he was very little. And now, even though I don't have the energy I used to have and I know I couldn't take care of him that way indefinitely...I need to re-evaluate who I am, what my life is now and how I want it to be...until I go Home or Reunite with Ross in the physical.

So here is what came through the last two weeks: friends! Friends supply the love from 360 degrees around us. 24/7.

I felt it.

The love coming through as if it was from Heaven, strong, caring, capable, and connected. 

We really ARE One.

Can I give examples? Yes. I discovered a wealth of photos of someplace I've only dreamed to go, Niagara Falls, and it helped me through long hours in the O.R. to look and enjoy them and comment on them with this dear friend.  I have daily texts from people who provide stability and support and structure in my otherwise chaotic life. I even am reaching out to my half-brother we found, actually who found us, through DNA tests. It's nice to know he's there and get acquainted. Even if it is weird my dad had a kid before our family and he was adopted out and nobody knew. 

These connections are treasures, in good times and in bad times, and if I had been in relationship with anyone, especially a soul connection like Ross, I wouldn't be able to appreciate them.

Which brings me to the most difficult and painful part of this complex, multi-faceted lesson: learning to love ourselves as Creator loves us. 

We are God's kids!

And in our society, it's especially difficult because there's pressure to become 'service to self' but we are naturally from Heaven designed to be 'service to others'. It's a twist on the norm of 'looking out for number one'. 

We can't be fully present in any situation--with friends or partnership--until we can be completely able to fill our own needs and be happy with ourselves.

For me, it's a little difficult because there's one skill set my soul is really good at, I've had several lifetimes practicing it, and you need a deep soul connection and a partner. In this life I would love to be able to continue the growth, to pick up where I'd left off, and move forward with that exploration of the Divine Mysteries.

That's not possible.

And it's important to heal the wounds, and to reinforce and strengthen the ability to provide physical (food, clothing), emotional, mental, and spiritual support to me.

So, today is practice. That's what's on the agenda. Anthony goes to his dad. And I'm not working. I have plans to go somewhere alone and have a lot of fun and just relax. I need to. Thirty-four years ago today I walked down the aisle. I need to celebrate being away from that horrible marriage. I need to honor myself for all the lessons I've been able to learn and heal since that time. Including being able to heal like this meme shows:

It took so many years to address the damage that had been done, to learn to self-regulate, and to take back my power in relationship. Why has this been so important to me? Because I want to be responsible for my healing. I want to be the very best ME I can be--nobody is perfect of course--to everyone I meet! It is a terrible weight on my shoulders to be doing things out of unconscious reaction and trying to avoid pain from old wounds. That only seems to perpetuate more wounds both in ourselves and others!

Ross says to bring yourself flowers. To do this and to do this often. Not only to make yourself feel better, but to encourage you along your healing path, and for you to absolutely celebrate all the progress you've achieved.

I have a reminder of every milestone I make, and it's on a bracelet. Each little part reminds me of a major growth step I've taken. Celebrating this year, at New Year's Eve, with people, even though I could catch Covid, and I probably did...telling my worst secret and being able to be accepted...honoring my past as a Cinderella (I was treated in a horribly cruel fashion and yet my core personality remains 'nice' and 'kind')...and even being able to hope for a future.

Do your very best to be spotless and blameless...not in having lived in a bubble and experienced nothing! Be spotless and blameless by knowing yourself, truly, inside and out. And in loving yourself. If you have patterns or habits that bring you down, energetically, make new patterns to avoid them. We have this gift, this generous hope, every minute we are born. Walk the path where you used to have arguments only this time with a smile and a loving heart. Bring things to harmony within you. Push yourself to reach your goals beyond your wildest dreams. Lean on spirit. And learn to negotiate with your teams on the lessons which are important to you.

There isn't much time, really, life goes by quick, and there's lots of changes going on in the world around us. But...don't be too hard on yourself either for we have infinite incarnations to 'get it right'. Just know that sweeping your areas of growth under the carpet and ignoring them is perhaps not in your best interest given the current situation, and whenever possible, do your very best to examine the moment, all your feelings in it, and grow.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple who are of the same soul

On Emotional Hunger and Healing

 

Today I have off. I woke up early at four a.m. because I felt like it. I have been rested. This week has been a real gift, and I'm pretty certain Spirit planned it to help me recover from my emotional shock. 

I am a survivor of all kinds of abuse:  sexual, emotional, neglect...and the adult child of an alcoholic.

Somehow this beginning was needed to help the seeds of my spiritual abilities to grow and develop so that I could help at this time with the Awakening. Many times individuals who have 'no place to hide' during their suffering will spontaneously go 'UP' into their soul/astral body while trying to hide from the abuse, then the channels stay open instead of closing. 

It also kept me humble--definitely not 'stuck up' as we used to describe it on the playground in North Long Beach where I grew up. No one could guess or even have a clue about my Spiritual legacy and origin.

As I disclosed in the last blog post, the legal attack--even though on their end is their quest for money and 'I shouldn't take it personal'--was an attack of everything I have built to believe and walk around like I am a 'good person' and especially a 'good doctor'. Which I am, I truly believe I am. But with that 'band aid' ripped off, all the raw, painful, unhealed trauma rose to the surface...and I could barely function.

I was in a state of profound shock. Keep psychological shock. I didn't know where to turn, and I couldn't stop crying. 

I tried to go out for tea, which usually helps, but the facility was booked for hours. I didn't want to go home and have Anthony see me cry. So I found another restaurant near the tea house, and went to have 'tea' there. 

I wasn't alone. It looked like it to physical eyes. But there was a beautiful guiding teacher soul with me. We talked and it helped. Not about my situation per se, but about things that are important to me at this time. 

Spirit provided for this. I'm sure my guide teacher knew well in advance what was coming for me and made the time and opportunity for this 'tea' to happen. 

It helped, but it wasn't enough. A few harsh words of annoyance at the ballpark from Anthony, and I was in tears in front of everyone, and I couldn't stop. It wasn't his fault, it's just my nerves were so raw...

I couldn't even do the laundry.

Anthony left to go visit his father. And I stayed home, on call for work, backup call. I hadn't been scheduled to come in, but I needed the phone near me. Just in case.

I did light, soothing activities. Lots of lying down and resting. Lots and lots. Getting fresh air and sunshine. Processing emotions. And communicating as best as I could with my teachers and guides, earthly and not in the physical. 

On Friday Ross told me who to contact when I was in total shock. That friend was solid, right on it, and even said that the opposing legal stuff was just 'paper and magic' and truly, it is.  Those closest to my heart, including Anthony, supported me. I couldn't make it on my own.

I also reconnected with a very dear friend who lives abroad. And the beautiful thing is, I was able to share that I'd been crying (I usually wear full makeup when we talk), and that I wasn't embarrassed to show myself in that state if they were okay with it, and they were. It turns out that this friend had also experienced new 'lows', and was healing from that. FaceTime, with old friends, is wonderful.

And, ironically, once that morning healing was done, I got called in to work. I wasn't supposed to, but there was an emergency and fortunately I got the easier line up. This patient actually went into asystole on arrival to the OR room, not ever when there was any anesthesia given or surgery. They just died. I couldn't have handled that, not in my state. But the easy cases I had were fine. Then I went home. 

I was able to rest, have a nice meal, and prepare for first call. 

This is where the miracle happened.

The 0800 case cancelled because the patient was too unstable.

The 1200 case, and another later in the day, both cancelled, because the patient left against medical advice (AMA are the three most beautiful letters!)...

I worked from one until three, with good cases that made decent money. 

Then I went home and was able to see Anthony. I slept in my own bed. And I slept good sleep! This is rare and unusual for first call.

And, surprisingly enough, even though we are short-staffed, I was off on Monday.

I've also been off on Tuesday and now today, Wednesday.

Which is fortunate because I have have a deadline. I worked hard on it yesterday, scanning and emailing documents. But today I needed the time. Yesterday I had to be gentle to myself and not push. 

The full moon and the Schumann are both supporting me in my healing.

To be honest, I had thought I was going to die with my early childhood wounds unhealed. 

Yet, through this horrible weekend, the circumstances are set to help me heal them, for the first time, instead of just making do or trying to compensate for them.

All my life I have felt like my birthright to have a normal heart that works how God intended it to work, my birthright was stolen from  me and I'd have to live as a highly-functioning, damaged person.

But it healed.

I don't have that ache of abandonment I've known all my life. I don't have that fear that I'm going to be yelled at, bad. I feel like I can be myself. And I can speak up for myself.  I feel better. 

So I have the spiritual, which I'm quite strong and capable--that hasn't changed.

But the human, the matters of the heart, the emotional especially, have completed what we would call 'catch up growth' -- I'm back to where most people begin. Preemies need catch up growth, and then end up indistinguishable from other full-term babies. People who have been emotionally stunted need to process and gain skills they should have gained back in the time of abuse. How the sorrow and despair from this weekend turned into healing, I don't truly understand...but it did. 

I still need time to process and heal, I feel vulnerable, but it will come. I am very grateful that Spirit is giving me the time I need to get this project done before deadline, and to do it at a slower, gentle pace. I also can help go to exercise class, help Anthony with his first week at his employment (I make breakfast and pack lunch). Money is important, and needed, but health, mental health especially, needs to come first.

This is how Ross and I together can help you.

I share what happened to me. How the system works. How we may have had unusually bad experiences in order to be able to be at our post when Spirit needed us, with our Spiritual gifts ready. Even though our challenges were a heavy burden to bear. 

By living our lives to the best of our ability, we are able to touch other's lives.

And by staying true to our life plan, sometimes things that really knock us on our butts are opportunities for deep, valuable healing in disguise! 

You may be reeling in pain, and suffering, and unable to tell the difference from a new wound, or a combination of new wound allowing healing for old wounds to come up.

Listen to your guides! Do what they say! Interact with your friends, and teacher guides, who know and love you. Be honest with what you are experiences and use your words to communicate it. 

Let go of all expectations of yourself for earthly things. I let laundry and dishes sit. I ate peanut butter sandwiches instead of cooking. I gave myself free rein to do what I needed to do to heal. Including lots of fresh air and sunshine. 

Let go of the outcome. When Spirit overrides your plans to allow for healing, observe like an impartial observer. Don't judge. Don't despair. Just give it Time.

As you heal, you may gently resume earthly tasks and projects. 

Don't worry if you aren't able to work for whatever reason. You are the first priority, and then, you can make up for it later with extra hours worked.

Once you see the direction your healing is going, thank everyone, on the planet and beyond, for their assistance and let them know how you love and appreciate them!!!

Give it time. 

This is how miracles happen. It's not just a 'poof!'--it's a Process....

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Count To Ten and Trust: Honoring Self-Care

 

On Friday I received devastating news. It's about my legal troubles. I wish I could say more but I can't. But what I can share is that my quick exit I had hoped for, is not to be. And the pure negativity and relentlessness of the opposition got the best of me. I realized even if I were to pass, they would still go after my estate. There's absolutely no escaping these tormentors. And I assure you, the last three years of my life have been absolute torment and hell professionally. 

I saw a meme let me find it and put it here:

With that in mind, I would like to prepare you for what I am seeing as a trend across the globe--some of the most gentle and kind, extremely dedicated Light Workers are experiencing extreme challenges that are shaking them to the core. This is often but not limited to the extremely mean people who are just making their lives hell. It could be hacking of a website that will take hours to stop and might never be the same again. It could be a landlord being mean and kicking a business out that had been renting there for twenty-three years. It could be personal circumstances with the family, or a medical challenge, or a psychological break...

For me, lots of issues I had thought were healed came up. I literally couldn't function. Thankfully Spirit provided me the space and 'break' I needed to get this done, to process the emotions. To reach out to those who love and care about me, and verbalize my distress. It was so profound that at the baseball game on Friday night, Anthony raised his voice at me in annoyance over his not being able to catch a ball because I distracted him, and I just started crying right there in my seat. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop crying all weekend. He apologized and I explained that it's just been a bad day. Normally it wouldn't faze me. Even having a huge ice cream in a waffle bowl at the game helped, just a little...this short video gives you an idea of the kinds of wounds I am healing traumatic childhood signs. My plate is full and I had to pull back from the daily healings until the dust settles and my cup is full again.

Remember to take time for you.

Eat well.

Rest.

Exercise.

Spend time doing things you enjoy. 

Let things sit that can sit. I left the laundry for another day, and only washed some but not all of the dishes. 

One of the things that helped me the most was lying in the sun, getting sun, and even looking at the sun (gazing) during the sunset. 

What is the purpose of this? These mean people? The suffering and the crying?

Well, for me, it's showing me where I need to do some more work in preparation for the next stage of Ascension.

For some, who have their emotions locked up and their heart less connected and live mostly in their heads--it's a chance to recalibrate to have all three (head, heart, emotions) working together in a better balance.

In a way, too, this is like the last time where things were very difficult I wrote about a short time ago--we are the guinea pigs and experiencing these sensations and growth first in order for us to have more compassion and love--hearts filled with compassion!--for those who have been decided to do to the work 'on the fast track' instead of over the last many years at a slower pace. It is going to be a definite shock to them and to their nervous systems!

Here are two 'mantras' to keep in mind if and when this happens to you:

• In this moment I am safe.
• I ask for this or something better

Here are some Bible verses that may help too:

• For his anger is but for a moment. His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
• For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
• But those who wait for the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run, and not be weary. They will walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

And here is a wonderful, beautiful Near Death Experience:  click to watch video (twenty minutes about)

Ross

I want to say a moment, very briefly, how Carla is moving forward in her growth and development, although to her it may appear that she is moving back. 

Carla cried for me in her torment. I was the first she called. I was the one who told her to reach out to a friend and I told her what friend.

She also finally got to cry her tears that have been long held back over my death. And she reached out to me, and I reassured her, that there is no way, absolutely no way whatsoever, that I can ever get wounded, hurt, or die again.

Thus our soul tie strengthens and heals.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The couple

Pick One

 

Anthony has a big examination tomorrow morning. He asked me, 'mom, should I be studying like crazy or just relaxing to prepare?'

I thought about it. For a few moments, I carefully considered it. And my answer was, 'for some people, who like to feel like they are in control, studying like crazy helps them very much. For others, that would stress them out. What is it like for you?'

Then it was his turn to think about it. He likes the last-minute, high-pressure and it forces him to perform better. So, for him, the choice is to relax. 

So he is.

If you think about it, we aren't that different in a situation, Spiritually and 'globally'...changes are impending, we have been preparing, but what are we to do in this space of time before everything hits?

For a lot of people, the answer will be through asking a question like I asked of Anthony in reply to his first question. 

For me, there's lots going on, inside. I'll try to unravel them and share just to give you and example of all the options I have to put my Consciousness Focus upon, and what I ended up choosing. 

First there's keeping 'tabs' on 'what's out there', for example, the Schumann Resonance Frequency. Cobra had an announcement yesterday, what criteria were 'met' and what ones were 'not met'. I follow Ben Fulford with a grain of salt. I see Jessie Czebotar is naming names now. That's huge. She could be risking her life in doing this. On Twitter you can look her up and scan what she's posting. 

There's also connecting with Source. I needed to do that twice today, and still, the messages were very quiet. I couldn't really 'connect' like always.

Then there's the YouTube..I watch a little of everything. Here's three that resonated, and you don't have to watch them, it's just for you to get an idea of where I'm at:

• Prepper Princess predicts ten dollars a gallon for diesel by fall, and how it will impact us. Also suggestions for what to do to 'work around' that.
  
• Iran's biometric digital ID and rationing the author goes so far as to call this the 'mark of the B--st'
  
• Therapist gives ten reasons about clutter. She hit many right on the head for me. This is so important. 
  

The last piece of data was tuning in to myself, and noticing that I'm 'off' today, energetically. A little is from staying up until two in the morning with Anthony celebrating at Disneyland since it was his last day at school. But also, I just felt 'blocked'. 

So here's my answer...are you ready?

Let's look at the picture above, make it bigger if you can. It shows the energetic connections within us and between us. 

Energy and consciousness is why we are here. Healing helps us to remove the blockages--many of which are cumulative from this and many past lives. When we are open and clear, we are conduits of this Reiki energy, of knowledge of Spirit, of Divine Assistance. 

So, that's number one. 

It's the only thing, really. 

We stay where we are, we tune in and connect to source, and we are a clear channel for Spirit to reach out through us to those that need it. 

So, I rested, I took the advice of the therapist in the clutter video, and then, when I felt ready, I went to my chores of going through memory boxes that have been untouched since we moved here in 2019. I'm clearing space in my room. On a deeper level I realize I can't have everything here for poor Anthony to process. And only now am I ready to go through my mom's things and my old things from her house. 

I shredded my file of 'stuff' from my relationship with Anthony's father! It's good! Who needs it? Not me!

The other thing besides clearing my energy, is to have hope. To look to a future, even if it is uncertain. Because we are sent here to hope and dream and create. So, that's healthy for us. And I'm practicing it and putting it into practice and doing all the things that between Ross and me, he knows what I would like to be working on, and he's guiding me and blessing me. It's like the last lessons to complete before this cycle is over, perhaps the life will be longer, but in this paradigm we live in before the changes...

I also do intercession. I pray for those I love, many times a day, and I ask Spirit to help. 

In summary, we need to know on a 'need to know' basis about changes that might be heading our way and impacting us and others. Many of these things we can't control, we didn't cause it, we can't cure it...if we 'fight it' energetically we are prolonging it. That's how the Law of Attraction and the Universe works.  What we can control is our reaction to things, and also, how energy flows through us. We can clean 'our side of the street' so to speak. And we can cherish our dreams and nurture them, even in difficult times. 

Ross

What Carla is going through is a little like what happened before I died. 

She could read the writing on the wall, politically, in our town, and that things were Not Good. Our relationship was strained at best, and yet she brought it upon herself to warn me as best as she possibly could--and much to her frustration, I wouldn't listen.  I had stopped listening to her and honoring her many years before. I chalked it up to her 'being emotional' and 'making a big deal out of things'.

You can imagine my horror when it turned out that she was right and both of us were powerless to change it. 

And so the events began.

How much longer, you may ask?

And once things are beginning, how much suffering is to be expected of us?

After all, the reign of the AC is supposed to be seven or eight years, isn't that correct?

Well, as you see, time is very 'stretchy'. And the more people are proud and unwilling to show sorrow and change their ways, I would say, perhaps, the changes may take a 'little longer'. And the less people are like this, and the more people are genuinely sorry and open their hearts to live in better ways, then perhaps I would say the timing would be 'a little less'. 

And that is enough for today. What you need to know is that you, as a community, and you, as an individual, have input and can alter the course of the timing for what is to appear. 

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

A Beautiful Healing

 

'You can't let a good trauma go to waste'

This is the essence of today's lesson. It is complex. 

To break it down for you, we need to keep in mind  these separate things:

• we are human, spiritual beings in physical bodies
• there are those sectors of the 'humanity' we think innocently as 'homogeneous ', who are trained in the occult. They understand the weaknesses of humans--physical, psychological, spiritual--and exploit them for their own sick pleasure and gain. We call them TWDNHOBIAH.
• TWDNHOBIAH are fulfilling an old prophecy to depopulate according to the Georgia Guidestones
• There are factions within TWDNHOBIAH who are struggling to come out on top, one is called the 'Lighter Side of the System' which actually is not 'light' as in 'Home', it's the AC 'beast' system.
• There are the 'good guys' also working to help awaken the population. Many are here as Ground Crew, you are considered to be among them.
• There are many, many more who are vulnerable, asleep, and under the delusion that TWDNHOBIAH truly have our best interest at heart.

There are a lot of factors 'rocking the boat' and 'stirring the pot'. If Gaia had her way, she would reboot. Just get rid of everything and start over. However, this is not an option. 

Anything can happen. Economic collapse. More restrictions. Pandemic. Food shortage. Blue Beam (false flag UFO type scenario). Holograms of spiritual nature that might seem real. Weather manipulation like with HAARP. Scalar wave influence like shown in the original movie the Kingsmen. There is no limit to the depravity of TWDNHOBIAH.

The current status quo is unsustainable. 

Those of us who have put in the effort, and 'awakened', know about the ceremonies, and sexual and culinary peculiarities of TWDNHOBIAH. 

For every one child lost to an active shooter, there are legions who are lost to the peculiarities of TWDNHOBIAH. There are even statues out there, for example, one in Bern, that show the unknowing public exactly what the culinary peculiarity is! But unfortunately it's so horrifying most go into denial, and think that there's no way that could possibly be real. 

I've known a survivor, someone who got her dissociative identity disorder cured. And I know what she told me about her past and her family and the babies she had that no one ever knew she was pregnant with. 

Her story echoes many of the ones you can hear online, or read about. 

When the truth hits, it's going to be like a bomb going off, only a psychological one. 

The key factor affecting those who are asleep is Betrayal. 

I know when I read Cobra's little red pill in July 2012, ten years ago, I was in a state of shock and numbness. For days and weeks. And I had chosen to know the information. I was offered a choice. 

One main end scenario is that legions of people who weren't given a choice, all of a sudden KNOW.

They realize everything they've lived or believed or admired/looked up to, is a lie. Everything they've sacrificed for, everything they've done their entire career, done out of the goodness of their heart to help people who are suffering, was actually exploited and controlled and used to benefit TWDNHOBIAH. This is because TWDNHOBIAH lie and deceive as a matter of course. 

Humans, being delicate and frail, especially after being told lies and betrayed, are fragile. They can break. Their limits are surpassed and there is a 'nervous breakdown'. This condition is an old term. It just means that when overwhelmed people cannot function. It could be a psychotic break, or depression with psychosis, depression with suicidal ideation, it could be dissociation and compartmentalization...It's not good. Here is a link to a busy but thorough article on the wounds of betrayal.

How do we support people who are suffering like this when we are not trained psychologists or psychiatrists?

With lots of self-care, and an open heart, and compassion. Being able to create a sense of 'normalcy' and 'routine' and 'structure' is very important. Helping people to connect to nature, like with horse therapy, or gardening for patients/survivors of the holocaust, are ways that come to mind. Listening. Reassuring. Offering hope. I don't know anything clinically besides the 51-50, preventing people from being a harm to themselves and others. But I do know we always have our guides, we can ask for Help, and help will be provided--be it in reassuring us, or giving us inspiration in what to do.

The key point to discuss, is that in bringing people up in the system of TWDNHOBIAH, is the deliberate 'love bombing' up to age two, and then 'betrayal' (sexual abuse by parents is typical) is done on purpose to shatter the mind, and make it possible for mind control programming to take place. Trauma-based programming is done in a series of such 'betrayals' over time. There is an art to this and if you'd like to know how it's done you read books by Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler. Not copies or interpretations of their books. THEIR books. I've read them. 

So we are going to need to pray, and to ask for Grace when the shit hits the fan. 

On the one hand, for the positive, it's a turning away from the sleep, and a step, although a painful one, towards Truth for all. 

On the other hand, it could be yet another step in psychological control and domination of the masses, this time a formality to truly break the spirit and minds through absolute chaos and make people easier to control. 

If the first scenario is true, you will see help being offered to the victims--at some point.  If the second is true--well, it's a tough call because after a 'session' of 'programming' then there is time to reward and soothe the victim. Otherwise the victim would just want to die. They have this to an art. 

That's why a strong connection to Source, daily meditation/connection to Source, association with like-minded individuals, and keeping our heart open while constantly looking for signs of guidance is key.

The Schumann Resonance Frequency is ramping up. This is in our favor. 

We watched all of the newly released Stranger Things episodes. It's entertaining. But I watch for subtle themes used to manipulate the people. One is that they said that the Eddie character was a 'devil worshipper' and the deaths were 'sacrifices' and the mob was going after him. The cops couldn't control the mob. This is actually not true in the story line. However, in the real world, it has been said that when the public figures out that the leaders who participate in TWDNHOBIAH won't be able to walk down the street. For that very reason! So the screenplay and script of Stranger Things is sort of 'damage control' by TWDNHOBIAH--trying to lesson the blow to the people by getting them all mixed up.  Any situation where 'bad is good' and 'black is white' is kind of a tip off that TWDNHOBIAH is behind it. And also, 'following the money' is another way to find them. Lastly, facial similarities. Because in those circles, the parents, the true ones, don't raise their children. They switch them around to protect the bloodline and the kids don't know. Look at the likeness of Tony Podesta and Chester Bennington. That kind of example.

As a nudge from Ross, I need to reach out in love to everyone who has been raised in the system of TWDNHOBIAH. Have hope. You don't have to be in the system. There is healing. It takes work, but it's possible. You don't have to live and suffer with those huge gaps of time any more (when one alter takes over the body from the main one and runs it). The few like Svali, Cisco Wheeler, Jessie Czebotar, Kerth Barker--who were pioneers in healing like my friend I mentioned earlier--healed and function. What is coming, if indeed it is from the side of good--is advanced healing technology. It might be a med bed. It might not. It might be people here who are connected to Healers on the other side being told what to do, to try things that are more effective. Remember there is nothing wrong with you, you are precious to Creator and to all of Creation, and you are WORTHY of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. No matter what anyone has told you or you've experienced that was painful, a time is coming where you can heal and run and be free from all that. Just hang in there and if you can pray. Help will arrive. It is a promise. Even if it is in the form of a puppy or a kitten to help you through until further help is on the way. Guaranteed.

clap! clap!

Ross and I know this is a difficult article. We thank you for keeping with us. Keep your thoughts positive. Understand the dynamics of what is inching closer and closer with every day. Know you are not alone--there is always support and you are welcome to ask for it. You've done this lots of times before, even if you don't remember. You have all the tools. And everything is going to work out in the end. Absolutely.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple