Something happened yesterday while I was in meditation. It's hard to explain and I think it's important.
Please bear with me as I begin.
I was in meditation with my team--Ross, Michael, Raphael, Raziel and Merlin. These are my closest advisors and in fact I am 'married' to them. It's so hard to explain but it's different from here where time is linear. Up Home, time does not exist. So here the equivalent would be Ross and my former partners/spouses. Up Home somehow everything works out. That is not the point.
The point is the thing they did.
And their reaction.
A similar 'funny thing' happened the time Divine Mother Incarnate taught me how to make bracelets over Skype. This was years ago. I forget when.
Ross and Ashtar were present.
They were sitting in their big chairs, relaxed, hands interlaced and behind their heads, elbows out, and
watching the whole time without saying a word.
I commented to Divine Mother Incarnate, 'Don't they have anything better to do than to watch two women with their hobby?'
At the time we were making bracelets just because we wanted to pass the time until we went Home, our Missions were complete, and it was fun to make them. Just like working on jigsaw puzzles...right? A hobby!
I didn't know it meant more.
I didn't know I'm a healer, I work closely with Spirit, and I create using the crystals.
I didn't know I would touch to many lives.
But the enjoyment and amusement and INTEREST of Ross and Ashtar??! THAT is what almost gave it away. Their BEHAVIOR was somehow DIFFERENT. Watching with interest, taking the time in their busy day, and not being in any rush but being HAPPY.
Does this make sense? Are you still with me?
Yesterday one of them put this huge thing that looked like a black Tahitian Pearl (see above) in my chest! Then the whole team backed off to watch me.
I'm not sure if I swallowed it, or they just went through my chest wall of my Light Body.
It's HUGE, like thirty-five millimeters.
I was surprised and like, 'what's this?' and Merlin explained it would do something/compensate?/ adjust? (I can't recall the word) my 'new chakras'...I know my lower three merged into one orange/gold one near my solar plexus a few weeks ago.
It didn't hurt.
I don't know what it does.
And when I asked,
every single one of my team acted like they didn't know it had ever happened, and wouldn't answer my questions, and were smiling really big like they had to be careful not to tell a secret. They shrugged, shook their heads, you know how people are when they deny something, and are 'up to something'...
I asked 'WHAT DOES IT DO?!'
They smiled and shook their heads, and looked at one another as if the best plan ever these buddies could think of just got pulled off.
I have to be careful, because down here, I don't understand things like that well, and sometimes I feel like I am the butt of the joke--even though my team has never in a million years made fun of me--I had to be SURE.
So I went to Divine Father. I showed it to him, and asked should I be concerned about it?
He said it is a nice surprise and they don't want to spoil it for me; it's something good and I will be okay. He said to watch it and see what it does.
At the same time, in Germany, Divine Mother Incarnate experienced something too.
She was lying in bed (recall there is a time difference between California and Germany) and woken up from trying to sleep. She heard a sharp sound like a stringed instrument's string being plucked. It startled her. She also heard a cracking sound. It was very loud and she's never heard anything like it.
Divine Father said it is the first crack of the split between Higher D and Duality World, and it will take a few days for it to show.
I'm not worried.
I'm not afraid.
It did throw me off my game a little.
At bedtime I realized I forgot to send the healings. That little 'nudge' or 'insistence' I have with my discipline to send it totally disappeared.
I was able to move forward in some areas I've been blocked for a long time.
I hate to admit it, but I had a care package for someone who was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer earlier this year...and I never sent it because it was to Europe.
She died.
Now it's about two months after her death. Her sister who is close to me is still grieving.
So I put together the care package, baby items and toys I bought in June when the newest grandson was born (I was in Alaska that day)...along with ten bracelets of different sizes made of angelic, the stone Spirit said would be good for the family to wear in remembrance of her.
I made more bracelets.
I made the one for the server who liked my mom's eye of protection bracelet in Burbank last May when we took her to see a play she wanted to see. He was at the California Pizza Kitchen where we ate.
I made one for Biramel--she's going to like it. And three for me, I call them 'Heaven on Earth'. I'll show you photos.
To the left we have angelite. In the middle is howlite hearts with two kinds of glass bead (glass is actually useful in healing). The right is green opal from Peru, and then Swarovski color-change 4 mm bicones called 'cantaloupe' because they turn green in fluorescent lighting. The angelite, by the way, is also from Peru and was discovered at time of the Harmonic Convergence.
I really had a lot of fun to create.
Yesterday we went to the mall. I was turning on my Pokemon Go and getting steps in to hatch eggs, and in the parking lot, said, 'I WANT A SQUIRTLE!'. He's my buddy, and I want a Blastoise because Anthony and I saw one in the wild. He caught it, I didn't.
His computer had a grey screen. We had to go to the store for the tech to fix it. It's his dad's weekend, but I had permission to get the laptop fixed.
We had a light dinner at home before.
Everything fixed quickly.
We went to a Nescafe free giveaway (they try to sell you one the whole time they make your beverage) and then walked towards the door.
Build a Bear was there.
Anthony had his fourth birthday party there. We have so many happy memories!
We found a Squirtle.
We made it and didn't add any of the clothes. How can you dress over a shell, right?
Anthony and I have a tradition. When he was lonely for me, we would make them with little recordings of our voices in it. Then at his dad's I could hear him, and he could hear me say the prayer I said for him every night. His version is: 'God Bwess you and pwotect you and have a good night!' in his adorable two year old voice...
His dad didn't like it, and refused to let him bring the toys.
But we have a collection of his voice as he grows up. We made many of these things, always with the voice.
Anthony said, 'Thank you mom for all the times you took me to Build A Bear. Making them is a blast!'
His voice sounds older and more mature. I will always treasure it.
I named it--you have to name every one after you stuff it--IWANNA SQUIRTLE.
I manifested it.
(Ross says not to worry about my forgetting the healings, we are a team, and he always has my back. He sent them. He also says I got a lot of energy yesterday too, and to excuse me.)
Today is a long day.
I help with mom.
She wants to go home.
It's about three weeks after her stroke.
She can't use her hands to open her pill bottles, or empty her foley bag to drain her urine from her stoma.
She can hardly get out of a chair, and needs coaching and encouragement.
We aren't sure if we can leave her alone.
I have to assess her mental ability. I 'm going to give her
this test. I need her to know I'm looking only for medical information, and the information is to see how we can accommodate her needs and adapt by seeking outside help.
It won't be easy.
She has little insight, and thinks her stroke was like having a cold. It's over.
Everything else she's had, it's been like that.
Her executive function is impaired, and also, the family has noticed the memory changes over about six months to a year. She says it's her medicines she takes for her kidney.
The nice thing about the test is it will help us see if she's normal, a little impaired, or a lot.
There is like world war going on between my family. All of it is based on fear and misunderstanding of the medical condition.
So I'm going to have to educate the family, as well as be a negotiator.
It's been about three weeks of our lives being turned upside down by mom's condition. Lots of phone calls, coordination, doctors, and making sure she's not alone.
Everyone is tired and cranky.
When it comes right down to it, it is what it is.
She is officially enrolled in a palliative care program, but we aren't going to use the word 'palliative' about it because dad had it too. She knows what it is and it will depress her.
Medically, her future isn't good. The aortic stenosis will gradually worsen until she has chest pain, shortness of breath and syncope (passing out). The kidney transplant at some point will fail, and uremia will follow with death in about four days. She can't fix the heart because she is concerned, rightfully so, about the effect of the contrast on the kidney. It will hasten the demise of the kidney, and dialysis isn't really an option she welcomes.
If in the event of a code blue, with critical Aortic Stenosis the external pressure on the chest for CPR can't generate enough pressure inside the chest and the heart to get the blood out of the aortic valve. It's unsuccessful.
That's why we put her in palliative care--fortunately when all three daughters were 'fresh' and in agreement.
Ross says to go five times, today will be three. I will go after I mail the packages.
Ross had said she won't be around much longer.
I keep getting signs from my dad.
Someone sent me a video clip from him. It's supposed to be funny. More cowbell. But the SONG is 'Don't Fear The Reaper' and it's about Romeo and Juliet--young lovers doing suicide together like those two. It sent me chills, because that's how dad is when it comes to mom. He wants her. He's wanted her since he died. His message to me is 'don't fear mom dying'--I get it. It's the same message we get from all of her loved ones when I work with Tim. I stopped going because they talk more about her and to her than to me. It's my dime!
I saw a license plate that said, 'Coffee Date'--that's how they met.
So he's calling to her with that and other signs. She's sick of being sick. So tired of it.
Wish me good things, patience, compassion, calm...I am going to be an anchor in a storm.
The funniest thing about neurotypicals and me--being Asperger's--is that I need a lot less emotional support.
My dentist was saying, 'it must have been hard on you being sued. You are single. Who is there to reassure you when you wake up at three in the morning and panic about being sued?' (he had a frivolous one against him, that got thrown out, too). He's right and he's smart.
I haven't had the luxury of emotional support like some. Yet you don't miss what you don't have, especially if you are Asperger's. For my support I have my Star Family and my Teams and all the wonderful readers here. I know I am loved. and When you FEEL loved, you know deep in your heart, no matter what, everything is going to be OKAY.
That's the message I wish to share with my family today.
Ross
Love is the most important nutrient you can get.
Even for me.
Make sure you get enough of it!
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple
