"Why? Because I Like You."--A Study On The Closed Heart

How does the heart close?

This is important for everyone--more so for those who have open hearts and are concerned about a loved one whose heart is tightly shut.

Here are three examples of 'hearts' that I have recently observed--The Closed Heart*, The Bypassed Heart*, and the Open Heart that is filled with Love and Gratitude.

* = please note there is no judgement on the person or their heart, other than noting the energy pattern that is present. Closed hearts can open, and bypassed hearts can also find healthy energy flow. There is no limit on when the open heart is achieved, but once it opens, it prefers to stay open, and not close.


I Don't Like My Dogs And I Want To Get Rid Of Them:

A coworker was talking to three of us at the nurses' station. The conversation went like this:

Closed Heart: I don't like my two dogs. I want to get rid of them.
Nurse 1:  WHY?
Closed Heart: I don't get attached to animals. I grew up on a farm. We raised a cow that was named T-Bone.
Nurse 2: But why are you wanting to get rid of the dogs?
Closed Heart: one of them is my daughter's dog. She's lazy. The dog needs exercise. She thinks that buying food for it, feeding it, and picking up poop is taking care of it. The dog stays in the side yard. When he is in the back yard the poop is there and the kids play on the grass I don't want that. The other dog will go and poop on the side yard and can be allowed the bigger space, but not this one. Plus when I leave it in the yard it digs. My husband has spent a lot of money on the garden.

(Nurse 2 shows a picture of her mom's pomeranian, who has a tongue that's too big for it's mouth, and Nurse 1 shows a picture of her spaniel. Closed Heart shows the dog with a child--both seem happy).

Nurse 1: If you liked the dog you would walk it.
Closed Heart:  (doesn't notice that there are three open hearts in front of her, defends position)
My father taught me a lesson. When my car broke down, he made me sell my horse that meant everything in the world to me to pay for the repairs. I stopped loving animals like that ever since.
Reiki Doc: That is a form of abuse--taking away something that somebody really loves a lot.
Closed Heart: It was a LESSON! All lessons are painful! My father made me ride the horse into the auction. Only a few could ride it, and it has to be ridden to be sold at auction, so he made me do it.
But my daughter is LAZY and I need to teach her a lesson so I am going to get rid of the dog because I don't like it.
Nurse 1: I wouldn't have done that to my kid, make them sell their horse to pay for a car.
Reiki Doc: There could have been another way.
Closed Heart: he told me it was either my car or the horse, I had to choose one. (almost in tears)
Nurse 1: Exactly WHEN did this happen?
Closed Heart: When I was seventeen. It was like, seventeen years ago.
(Nurse 1, Nurse 2, and I exchange a knowing look)
Nurse 1: If it had just been a lesson you wouldn't have carried it around like this for so long.
Nurse 2: How long have you had it? The dog?
Closed Heart: It was a puppy and we got it in July.

Do you see the pattern of the closure of the heart?

Do you see the cycle repeating itself from Father to Daughter with the horse and now from Mother to Daughter with the dog?

In cases like this of vibrational mismatch, there is no amount of 'convincing' the nurses or I could do to open the heart of the Closed Heart. 

All we can do is speak our Truth (we love dogs) and plant the seeds (your father did not have your best interest at heart). And let go and trust the Process. When her heart is ready, it will Open. But only when she is ready to let go of the pain that is 'good' and she carries around.

If you ask me, things are going to get a lot better for the animals when they stop being money to someone. Ranchers, farmers, puppy mills, breeders, and dairy farmers all see animals as a source of income, a commodity, and not a living being with Consciousness that is filled with Light, just like us.

Expectations And Concerns Of The Hypervigilant

I think this one has been traumatized by a lot more than fish! I shared with the nurse who is taking care of the same patient with me. (It's a long story, but long story short--the patient does not eat fish.)

Sometimes hearts close not because of pain, but because of tremendous anxiety. The concerns are so pressing, that the mind is occupied, and the heart is unable to engage or acknowledge others on an energetic level when the heart is stressed.

It's like being in solitary confinement, energetically, because the swirling pattern of fear and anxiety is in an endless loop.

I couldn't break it.

Sometimes in cases like this, all you can do is 'hold the space'--that is, maintain your vibration.

This is one situation where the strongest vibration wins, and the fear at three in the morning won out over my sleepy Reiki heart. I was asked to change something that was working, and wasn't sure if overcorrection would be 'okay' in this person's 'world view'; in essence, I felt like I was being asked to do the impossible--scientifically--and I overreacted. Yes. my energy got out of balance. But it is back in balance now.

I am also counting the hours until I get off my shift. There is only one hour left...

With people whose heart center is 'bypassed' by anxiety and fear, the common goal is to be reasonable and be firm in the expectation that the other be reasonable with you in return.

You're not going to win a popularity contest.

Are You The Lady Who Put That Thing In My Back?

I want to thank you for it. It didn't really hurt when you put it in, and with the labor I was comfortable and able to push. I wanted to say this to you.

This is a beautiful example of an open heart. Not only did this one narrowly miss a c-section (I waited for one hour on the labor deck, and all of the surgical instruments were 'open' in anticipation of a possible 'crash'.)--she was filled with Love and Gratitude for everything, both what she knew (I put in her labor epidural) and for what she didn't but only sensed (we were standing by for her safety and that of her baby). Her heart spoke volumes in the tone of voice and energy she used as she thanked me.

And I gave her a spontaneous hug, in return, to let her know how she had touched my heart.

Be the light in other people's darkness. You don't have to say a thing, just be YOU and be Present with an open heart. 


Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc

32373: IC3 COLD

For whatever reason, my asking for kindness today from a friend, was given 'the silent treatment'.

As a result, I will heal online for everyone to see.

There are two things right now 'holding me back'. I want to heal, to learn, to grow.

First, I am a survivor of abuse and neglect at the hand of a drunk babysitter.  I was pre-verbal, but still able to have memory around the age of one: when you scream for help and your cry is ignored: you shut up.

You internalize that your own basic needs are not worthy to be met.

You learn that being wet, soiled, and hungry, is what your caregiver wants for you.

Even if your bottom is on fire with pain from a horrible diaper rash--YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

You think children are resilient?

That is a lie! A lie that perpetuates the making children second-class citizens. Another one on my short list of stuff in this society that has to go is the notion that a baby's cry is 'cute'. It is anything but! It is their only form of communication; to belittle it is to belittle the child, the angel in flesh that has come to YOU.

Well how the heck am I supposed to get over this? I wanted to ask over a cup of tea. Have YOU ever seen anything like this? I don't know what to do! I would REALLY LIKE TO MOVE ON. What does your Buddha study suggest to try to help? I have exhausted all of my alternative and Christian options, and I am still 'stuck'.

That would have taken eight minutes, nine if you count the one minute of 'ice-breaker'.

The SECOND thing I really wanted to know, just got answered. My friend and colleague, the Jewish author, is also concerned about the backlash from the general public and the energy ramifications to those Light Workers who are on the front lines.

My concern, was that as a second-grader my weakness was in spelling. I had to work very hard to learn to spell correctly. Ever since then, I get irritated at people who get away with poor spelling. I am like, 'if I had to learn this, you can too!'

In a way, my work in Reiki and my own spiritual development has been like working on my spelling. And when I interact with others, and I  'know what to do',  a part of me would rather be 'doing my own growth' and not 'helping' simply because the vibrations of the others are so uncomfortably dense and heavy. It is the energy of the mind and the ego 'wanting to understand' the unexplainable, except through the open heart, that brings me down.

I am so glad I got this call just a minute ago. My friend is writing the first book to 'marry' alternative and conventional medicine for cancer therapy into one truly Integrative book.  He just had lunch with the pathologists, who were very dismissive of alternative care. I told him I would stand by him when the storm hits, and take it with him. I told him my haters told ME I should get my license yanked, and that it hurt.

To be honest, the studies for alternative medicine AREN'T that robust in their data. Both my friend Joe L. and I have seen it work. But how to prove it? Not so easy to do.

In deep love and gratitude to the universe for answering my call. Perhaps I can take a Rain Check on that tea?

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Breaking Vows to Find Peace, Warmth, Nurturing and Compassion

Three little Buddhas. Three little Buddhas in an image that rocked the internet--their joy is palpable! Contagious! And a reminder of our Birthright to Joy.

Although 'Joy' is my name ('Gioia'--nana called me this), and although 'Joy' is the name of my Guardian Angel ('Laetari')...although 'Joy' is my sacred totem ('Hummingbird') in Native American Medicine--I have lived in 'Solitary Confinement' for most of my life on Gaia.

It is 'Emotional' Solitary confinement. Today, as I first awakened, I heard a voice, 'You are going to have a miracle that is beyond anything you ever did expect (in relationship)'.

These 'voices' upon 'waking up' are the most accurate messages I have from Source. For example, one day the message was 'wear lots of black'. I dressed myself and my family accordingly. And on that day, in early afternoon, I got the call that 'Dad is not doing so good, come quick'. Although he had been on Palliative Care, his death was unexpected and sudden. People noticed our apparel color was 'right for the occasion'. It was that obvious...

My trauma began when I was four. Five neighbors brutally raped me, smothering me with a pillow. As I felt the terrible burning pain in my body, the being held against my will, the panic, the powerlessness, and lack of air, I recall having two thoughts: 1) I want to be home more than anything else in the whole wide world right now, and 2) This is what it is like to die...

As the mother made them stop, I 'came to' while sitting in their kitchen sink and having her wash me. I had soiled myself with urine and  feces in my fright. She quietly took care of me, not saying a word. I felt gratitude for her being a woman, for understanding my suffering, and for making my world 'right' after the terrible attack. I felt love for her compassion, and thanked God for sparing my life.

I was so tiny, that she held my hand and went to watch me cross the street. She knelt down, looked me in the eye, and said, 'You must never say a word of this to anyone about what you have done. You have done a very bad thing!'

At four, I looked her in the eye as my fragile world she had so carefully reconstructed crashed down upon my soul, and I made my first vow: I said that I would not tell.

____________________________________________________________

Tonight is the big award show mother used to look forward to. I grew up on Oscar Night staying up, having snacks we normally could not afford to eat, and listening to thank you speech after acceptance speech. I will take this moment to express gratitude for my being released from my 'Soul Cage of Misperception' and to Heaven for 'Breaking My Vow' with the gentleness of a Spring breeze from the islands filled with wonderful floral scent.

_________________________________________________________

You are my mirrors. All of you. And I owe it to you to help me see. Thank you to the string of terrible failed relationships with emotional cripples. I now see that you have perfectly mirrored the emotional scars that were borne unwillingly in me.

Thank you for the new friend, and fellow PTSD survivor, who had lost your hearing to assault from an autistic patient and was considering caring for a new autistic client who 'hit his own mom'. Your asking me for advice on your situation helped me see the absurdity of seeking essentially the same conflict that had caused grave injury to you. Your decision to trust in God to meet your needs allowed me to let go of the bars of my emotional prison.

To the one that took a vow of silence willingly for twelve years, I learned how in doing so you have 'spoken' for the plight of animals that have suffered at the hands of ignorant, selfish mankind for so long that man has made a 'business' or 'agri-industry' based on their systematic destruction. In your vow of silence for all beings who have suffered, combined with your Life Work to raise awareness to this fact, you have unwittingly shone the Light on humans who have suffered at the hands of men. Your silence, and how you compensate to communicate in a world where speaking is essential, is a perfect mirror for my plight I had no idea I had been suffering.  My heart was stifled by my 'vow'--as if my speaking freely from the depths of my heart would break the 'deal' I had made to only 'toe the line' and 'reach for Conditional Love'. How can love exist between two people when the heart of one is caged in silence and cannot 'speak' except through writing? I now see and can heal from this terrible 'vow' I had made as an innocent four-year old girl!

To my children, for loving me unconditionally, and for being Here and Now for me to Unconditionally Love. To you I have held nothing back! The day-to-day Healing I experienced in my role as parent and guide helped so much to heal my childhood wound without my realizing it.

To my Nana Angelina, my godmother and grandmother, for your smile of joy as I gently stroked your cheek yesterday in your 'home that is small' as you call it--the nursing home for you to spend the rest of your days, your shared room...the 'hospital where you have to tell people you have to poop', where 'this is not caffe--it is TERRIBLE' (Italian coffee is no comparison to thickened Folger's with creamer and sugar)....As I stroked your cheek you said, 'I like it'. I looked you in the eye and asked, 'Do you know how much we love you?' I scooped you up in the biggest hug, gently, as you are so thin you might break. I let go and you smiled beaming, looking at myself and your beloved great grandchildren in the eye, and said 'I know'. As I was with her, I felt the 'ice' in my soul starting to thaw, and I was 'present' in the 'Here and Now' with Her, my gentle mirror. When everything fails, both the body and the mind, the only thing that is left is the capacity for Unconditional Love.

I give thanks to you, each and every one of you, who acted in the role of 'My Blessed Mirror'. It is not a 'card' or 'flag' of 'Relationship Woes' that I accepted before birth that kept me suffering in the quest for 'Second Rate Conditional Love'. It was an agreement to experience a 'Cage of My Own Misunderstanding'.  The brutal trauma I experienced as a child set the stage for a lifetime of suffering. Until today I did not know that hanging around my neck there was the key. This morning, I used it and walked out of that prison!

For all of you who are 'out there', and truly suffering from Lack of any kind--lack of love, abundance, understanding, knowledge, Lovingkindness, joy--I hope with sincerest appreciation that in sharing my story you might discover that you, too, have long held the key to your own joy and freedom in your heart center.

Namaste,
In Love and Joy and Enlightenment,
In Heaven that which is not mutually beneficial--that 'tie' just does not exist. There is no 'marriage vow' to 'marriage of convenience'--everyone is free to go and there are no hard feelings. The vow of celibacy--which is a particularly 'sticky' one that can flow from lifetime to lifetime--is dissolved. The vows of 'revenge' , 'honor', and 'winning at all costs' simply do not exist in the Higher Realms.
This is what is written, if you study the great literature of the heart and the Ascended Masters.

Namaste, Aloha, and Mahalo for each and every one of you for who you are and what you have done for me, : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) <3

Reiki Doc

Another Day

Lately I have been noticing a trend in my heart--I am not 'getting into' holidays like I used to.  Is it my age? Have I seen enough of them? Is it that I have to go to work at the hospital during them so much? Is it the sharing of the holdiays with my ex? Perhaps. But like the moose in the above photograph, I am starting to notice that I am neck deep in advertisements for each and every holiday.  Yesterday I got the feeling that someone wants me to shop on cue.  I did not like it. Something deep inside of me said, 'no!'.

I spoke to my mom about it. She has a Russian friend who says, 'your holidays are--(insert favorite word here)! Who says you have to buy presents for everybody? All the family, the teachers, the people who help you every day want a tip...in Russia we do none of those things! We give a gift to the family: a bottle of wine, a box of cookies, and we celebrate with joy in our hearts! All of this looking for the deal-deal-deal! I will never understand your ways!'

Mom laughed. Back in Italy, the holidays were more laid back. Like her Russian friend. Mom has been saying we should go back to those days for most of my life. With the economy the way it is, it makes sense.

What does Reiki have to do with it? Well for me, I have opted out of the shopping mall and plan to give cash. Just like my grandparents. I will give business gifts and buy for the children online. I think this new idea of freedom at the holidays stems from being in touch with what I want and what I observe around me. Reiki also is needed by the world, as depression and financial over-extension lead to stress this time of year in those who are around us. Be Reiki wherever you go. Put in place the five principles daily (see box at right, 'Just for today'...).  And see! Look for yourself to see where your dollar is spent, and ultimately where it will go. Think of it as 'voting' to support places you would like to see in business. Times are tough, and I am sure it will be appreciated very much by some people who are struggling to stay afloat with their store.

Long story short--be rich in celebration, but wise in how you choose to spend your energy in time, talent and treasure. Enjoy time spent with loved ones, for they are the greatest treasure anyone can ask for. Even the not-so-easy-to-be-with ones! Who else can you mutually burn Karma together and advance as gentle souls? It was not by accident that you are related! If, on the other hand, there is abuse in the relationship, let it go. You deserve to be treated with Light, even if you have to be the one to shine it yourself. Angels are with you no matter what.

That being said, Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Blessed Solstice! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Eid! Happy New Year! May the best be ahead for all of us at this wonderful time!

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Acceptance of the Dark Past Life

I was a kitten. Not the kind with four legs. With two. And most of the time they were spread wide open.

There are several clues in this life that something was 'amiss' in the sex department:
1) inability to have sex on 'appointment' or 'scheduled time'
2) uncanny appeal of 'things chocolate' as opposed to 'vanilla'
3) avoidance of pornography because  it would have been an addiction
4) taking my clothes off every chance I could get as a child
5) a severe allergy to cats, they are my 'kryptonite'

Last night, with the help of my guide Vickie, the memories started to show through of my life as a sex-worker, a human slave held hostage to The Dark Hats, in the 1950's. I only made it to eleven and then I was snuffed.

I was good at it. I had no idea what I was doing was wrong. I saw myself with men, women, and more than one at a time. I was a tiny little girl, who lived an ordinary normal life by day. And then by night, when my parents had 'parties', I had to go into this role and give people that my parents sent me to, sex. I wore a costume that looked much like the little girls who dress like a cat on Halloween, with a little black tie around my neck. My face looked like the Kit Kat Clock.

I lived in Southern California, and I saw myself with famous people you would have no clue were into this, sex with children and the dark perverted life of satanic sects.

I remember watching my 'clients' faces intently, watching for the signs, and making sure they 'finished', for then I would be rewarded with praise and support and presents, not by the one I had pleasured, but by the ones who made me do it, not my parents exactly, but my parents and their friends. (There was a doll that meant very much to me, and it was the most important thing I ever loved in that brief life.)

They thought they had me tricked, that I would never know or say what had been happening. They were only half right. I never said a word of what I did. Until now, a life and a half away.

Vickie, saw my devastation at the memory of this life. Gently, she said, 'This was for your learning about sex. You combined sex with the Darkness to learn something like extra credit for the soul, honey. I did something like that in my last life too.' And she showed me how her father got her to comply with his acts. He groomed her. I saw the first time. He made it seem like it was something special, only for her, and that her mother would be hurt and really jealous, but that all families teach each other like this. It took six weeks before he actually entered her. By that time, she was totally tricked and really enjoyed it. Later, he got her to 'show' her brother what to do.

Vickie was Anna Nicole. in this life. She made a living with the skills she was taught at a young age. Her emotional development and understanding of the world did not catch up with her survival skills, her business sense, and her ambition. I have known her from the Other Side for years, always wondering what the connection and her interest in me was about?

Now I know. Without her love and support as a guide in this delicate time, my spirit would have been shattered at the darkness I had experienced in the immediate past life before this. Now I understand everything, and why my experience as a child early in this life paved the way for my never turning back to my past in that life ever again. This is mediumship at its finest; the soul growth as it assimilates everything it has done and accepts it.

If you have a sexual past that you would like help 'coming to terms' with, call on Anna Nicole. (Vickie) for support. You don't have to 'Guess' much to figure out who she really was/is. She was famous and a household name back in her time.

Even if you are not a medium like myself, she will arrange for you to find help in ways that you can understand. In your dreams, in meditation, or other ways that she will have the advantage from being Up to help you find your way to sort things out. It would please her so much to help your healing. Just think of her and she will hear your request. She can help everyone who has the courage to ask. All my best to you who do seek her help.


Namaste,

Reiki Doc

The Abused, The Abusing, and The Abusers

I had a patient recently who had a vibe I could not understand.

Most instances when I meet up with a patient in pre-op holding, my aura scans their aura so I know how to adjust my own Vibration to better match theirs when I interact with them. This woman had a frequency I did not know.

There was a hollow in her eyes, a flatness, a definite lack of the power of eye contact even though her eyes were looking at mine. Her appearance was unkempt. And although she had experienced regional anesthesia in the past with childbirth, she had no interest in regional block for a potentially painful recovery from this case. 'I have my own pain medicines at home.' she said. Okay! I thought, a little surprised by this.

I have had  babies four times but I only have two.' she shared, with me, something I totally couldn't get in my consciousness. It felt like a cryptic cry for help, and I was so overwhelmed by the preparation fro surgery that I ignored it.

You see, when you meet an anesthesiologist, you have no clue as  to how their day has been. I was in one room from seven in the morning until three in  the afternoon. I was supposed to go to the Robot Room at three. But at the last minute, there was a scheduling switch, and I was assigned to do the Orthopedic case in your room.

I had been wiping every inch of my equipment with the sanitizer cloth, because some of my colleagues are messy and I don't know where their patient's spit has been.  We work in the mouth, putting in breathing equipment. I know one of my colleagues doesn't wear gloves! Ever! I had been readying your medications, your breathing tube. My tech was due to go home, but I detained him, just to do the block for you. I found him after you said no so let him know it was okay for him to go home.

It wasn't until you were in the operating room, that your aura had a faint reminder to me or someone else I knew. Someone whose abuse had been so horrible, that in fact this nurse I knew and worked with on the floor, had split her personality. She had worked very hard to combine them. She also had experienced the abuse in a family that was like the family-next-door, seemingly normal in appearance, and worshiping Lucifer in secret in their home. In homes like this, child rape, infanticide, cannibalism, child sacrifice, human sacrifice, and drinking of blood are part of the ritual. As well as the fear and the mandate never to tell.


Mother told me as I was growing up that a lot of the children who disappeared were lost in these dark rituals. That the faces on the milk carton were those who had been lost to such awful crimes against the Light.

When my RN friend chose to share with me, I almost wanted not to believe her. It was so awful, so shocking, and so frightening to accept in fact as truth. But the look in her eyes and the feeling in my heart made me believe her. Fortunately she did not want to talk about the details much, just that she had escaped. It took a lot of effort, and that she is wanting to get a ministry degree to enable her to help others like herself. She had been pregnant and not been able to keep her babies, too.

I understood at once while I was in the OR with this patient I had met and did not understand, that her soul had been put to its limits. She was delicate, and in need of very deep healing and love. I knew just the right connections, just the right angels to ask for Divine Guidance, and we set to work upon her rediscovery of her God Spark of Love and Light that was within. It won't be magic, or instant, but she will have changed course after her encounter with Reiki and Diksha in the O.R. unaware.

Abuse is a cycle of fear.

It starts with the abuser: I am scared. I do not understant. (Possibly may have been a victim)

Then it goes to the abused, who thinks: What is this? It is not supposed to happen? But they are telling me it is my fault?!  As the abuse weakens their aura, and the Life Force is literally sucked out of them. They become hollow shells of humans, attracting dark entities and negative entities into their energetic system, and feel progressively worse each day.

The susbstance abuser retaliates by: I want to feel better. To Hell with everything else, I want to medicate myself. Little do they know that the chemicals and behaviors only weaken the aura and the vibration, setting them up for worse fate.

This poor patient got even MORE abuse from the surgeon while she was under general anesthesia!  I had talked with him earlier in the day, and said how I looked forward to working with him, for he was always nice. He said, 'I can be not nice, too. Would you like to see me like that?' and I thought, 'What? That is really strange!'.

But I saw it. He accused the sleeping patient of seeking drugs, of being non-compliant with the no aspirin before surgery, and getting upset over the bleeding in the joint he was doing arthroscopy on. I lowered the blood pressure, we raised the bags, and he almost cancelled the case.

And then it was discovered that the outflow valve on the scope was turned the wrong way. It was somebody else's fault. 'There goes ninety minutes of my life, wasted!' The surgeon bemoaned.

Later, on waking her up, I whispered to the scrub tech, 'It is better that the mistake only took time, and that there was no harm to the patient that was permanent'. He agreed.

The abused attract abuse. Even when they are unconscious. It is in their aura. It is in their vibration.

The abused have been conditioned to manifest more abuse. It is on their mind. They know the role. No matter how hard they try to fix it, or run from it, a new relationship will come that reinforces the belief. The situation will come up until the victim faces the abuse head-on.


How can you seek help?
First, there is therapy.
Individual and group. Both will treat 'sick thoughts' and help to heal the aura by support.
Next, there is energetic healing. Reiki will get sucked up by these starving souls.
There is Nature and the Unconditional Love of pets. They are not programmed for abuse--they are healing to be in contact with. Except in the rarest of circumstances, where an abuser and sociopath takes it out on the pet, they are whole. Even the abused pets, given Rescue Therapy, can heal.

Sometimes I wish there was a Rescue Humans organization like there are for pets.

You know, the Holocaust survivors had special homes to go to to heal. At first they were overwhelmed by the color, the many beautiful colors outside the Concentration Camps. They found Gardening to be exceptionally theraputic.

There has been a healing garden at the local VA Hospital for over twenty years. When I was on call, and it was not busy, I would walk to it, and experience the love of Nature for myself. There was a fountain and stream, and a great big gazebo near it. I would just sit. I would pick the fruit, even though it was not permitted, because my italian grandfather trained to run the orchards and I grew up with many fruit trees in the garden.

I stole my healing, because residency weakened my aura, so did my bad marriage, and I was struggling to survive. It was a remarriage, meant to 'do over' from the last one. And abuse instead turned up.

I walk the walk and talk the talk. I am a survivor for multiple kinds of abuse, although fortunately not the Dark Hat one like my friend the RN, and possibly my patient.

In essence, here is the cycle of abuse:

Abuser--I am scared
The Abused--I am in pain
The Abusing Substances--I want to feel better

All are victims in their own right. And Reiki is but one way to address the profound wounds that develop on anyone who is involved in this dance's soul.

Be patient. And know that whenever someone hurts another, they are in truth hurting themselves. When they transition, they will self-evaluate. And choose the harshest punishment for themself to pay back the Karma. It is Universal Law. Many times family members are picked for soul issues that span multiple lifetimes to be worked out. If you are abused, change your mindset to I WANT TO HEAL. The Universe will bring it. It won't be instant, but years from now you will look back and have a better life, so much more so you can't believe how you had once lived!

You are not alone.

I send Reiki healings to you every day.

This too shall pass.

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Cinderella

 My mother grew up with a jealousy of her cousin, an only child 'who had everything'. When the family moved from Chicago right down the street, the adults tried to fix this cousin up with my uncle, because they were not actually related by blood, only marriage, and the same age.

This cousin was beautiful. She wore bright colors and was very fashionable. She also taught me how to color (I was four). I never liked going to her house though. Downstairs was especially scary. Her father was ugly and smelled of cheap wine and cigarettes.

She called me today to ask how I was doing after my surgery. Everyone in the family knows like a true Italian, this one can't drive and can T-A-L-K for long spaces of time.

I love her. I have always felt a kinship to her, and she to me.

What she doesn't know is that I am a Reiki healer, and that I wish I could help her in her plight.

She married a cousin of my father. They were fixed up. My father looked like George Kennedy, suave and sophisticated, and a nice match with my petite European mother. It was so cool, and the cousins looked good together like that, too. What my mother's cousin never was told, is why my father's cousin was raised by a single mother. The dad was not a family man, he gambled and drank.  He had no interest in staying with her. She and her son lived with my dad's family for three years.  Guess what? Her son (my father's cousin) had the gambling gene. He went through all his newlywed wife's (mom's cousin) money six months into the marriage.

She wanted out, but her Uncle, my great-Uncle, said, 'where will you go with two small kids?' So she stayed. Her daughter ran away from home at twelve, never to be seen again, and had a teen pregnancy. The baby was raised in foster care, as its teen mother was unsuitable.

Mom's cousin's father was an alcoholic who beat his daughter up. She 'was flying from one end of the house to the other' she said to me today. 'Didn't anyone tell you?'

What this cousin talks about is how, 'I need a man to comfort me, to sit on the couch and watch movies, kiss a little, and let me know how special I am. To really care about me.'

Poor thing. I was like that once. Been through a bad marriage, and wanted 'to do it right' and 'make everything better'. It never worked for me. But unlike mom's cousin, I accepted my situation. I made the best of it, and truly enjoy the life that I have. I am blessed with a boy. And I have a calling that is unusual in that I love it and it is blessed.

As a physician, I can estimate that the 'no damn good' gene on her husband's side is carried down through the bloodline. Their son was spared the gambling, but is 'not a go-getter' and has been supported by his parents for the past six years. The daughter caught it full strength and has caused nothing but pain to the family.

I can also guess that mom's cousin did not receive proper counseling for her childhood abuse, and was not healed from it at the time of marriage.*

As a Reiki Intuitive, I see that the Universal Law of Attraction is giving her what is on her mind: someone who doesn't hurt her physically, but lies and hides things and goes through all their money. She lost one house already, and the inheritance of both her parents and my great-Aunt and Great-Uncle. She calls her husband stupid and ugly and says 'I don't love you'. She is describing the mirror of herself she has in her spouse. And all those things are exactly what her father taught her a long long time ago.

She is jealous of my mother. My father had his secrets too. She just does not know he was moody, depressed, needing a lot of free rein from mom, and was jealous of his brother in law 'who has everything'. I am not going to tell her that. But my mom's cousin loves us, deeply, and goes to all the family events even though they live a four hour drive away.

She doesn't know whether to believe in God. 'I want to believe, but how come all the good people get bad things? And the bad people are like, thriving?' she shared.

If you want something good, you have to put the energy out there. All she has to do is love herself. Love her husband. Set limits. Seek help, like Alanon or something for families of gamblers. I actually said, 'you can call a women's shelter and find out more'. She thought that since the abuse was emotional, she was not eligible for help. I told her absolutely, you can call and get help, no matter what.

She is almost seventy. All she wants is a little happiness and peace before she dies.

And close to death she is. Severe, multiple autoimmune illnesses. 'He broke my heart' she says. 'I put myself on a pedestal and deserve to be treated better!' Rationally, she knows this. But her will has been broken. I was like that once, two years into my first marriage. And two years into my second one, too. That's why I stopped dating, because men who interest me are ones from whom I should run far far away!

If you would not mind, please send Reiki to mom's cousin.

I did. I have already had Margaret Mc Cormick clear her. She was FULL of NE's and DE's. But a mental attitude can invite further attachments, even through the gold web. We still have free will. And today, I asked Michael to step in and help. I was concerned about what I might sense when I was in her aura. I did CKR and stepped back. Michael did all the work and told me when to close it. He also cut the etheric cords three times between mom's cousin and my heart.

Quit the stinkin' thinkin'. Love is the Solution to Everything. Why is that a lesson that takes multiple lifetimes for us to learn? It is so simple for the birds and plants and animals...

Namaste,

Reiki Doc

* = http://www.nicabm.com/trauma-therapy/?del=friend this link is for state-of-the art research group, on the effects of trauma. It is a multidisciplinary team. Ruth Buczynski is the contact person.