The 'Happy Ending' That Isn't

Yesterday I went out to dinner with one of my Reiki students. She is a single mother, like me. We ate at  the restaurant where she works.

She was worried about a possible psychic attack on the chef by a local muslim who had terrible energy and parked in the back next to chef's office and chef's car. Her 'spiritual intuition' kicked in enough to have her 'wake up unusually early at 3 a.m.' She contacted me at 6:45 a.m. to see if we could meet at 8:30 a.m. but I had to work.

I saw the Ramadan people in the rented area across from the restaurant. I felt both the energy of the people who were there (not so bad) and the energy left behind by the one (horrible). He had asked her 'if people pray in there?' and she said, 'on Saturdays there is Kirtan, what language did you hear?' and he said, 'Spanish', (it wasn't--I think the chanting is in swahili or hindu). He sat in the car and talked on the phone for a long time. Basically it was fear energy that was left behind by this person.

We gave Reiki to the building, the restaurant, to clear and protect it. Now there is a bubble of protection for the Highest Good.She enjoyed learning that part of Reiki. I call it 'Reiki Energy Self-Defense'.

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I didn't share that I parked on the other side of the restaurant and felt equally 'bad' energy coming out of the Massage Business next-door. The place has always intrigued me. There is not much clientele in the day, but an open door and a small offering of red licorice and asian things in the front on the sidewalk. Sort of like an offering left on a volcano in Hawaii, yes? In the window there are all kinds of massage licenses in plastic frames, making it look very official. But the energy is not like any spa or medical facility I have ever seen.

Last night, on the way out, I saw the truth--it is a massage parlor like you hear about in the news. There were drunk mexican men, one at a time,  driving up suddenly, staggering in, and about twenty minutes later walking just as fast to their car with a little 'swagger' to their step.

When is this going to end?

When is the Goddess in these women--and possibly men--who are clearly not able to 'do anything else' and possible 'trafficking victims' going to stop being slaves to 'the oldest job in the world?'.

To imagine they do this for MONEY. They sell themselves for cash, and someone takes a cut, a big cut of it, even sometimes all of it?

Yesterday I saw a newspaper article about 'abundant cheap heroin in New England'. A woman in Maine was shown injecting herself in the arm, tourniquet and dirty needle, under a bridge. She says she prostitutes herself three times a day to support her heroin habit.

A movie star had a quote in Star Magazine while I got my hair cut--in the article about stars and rehab and heroin--it said 'Heroin is a greedy drug. It takes your friends, your family, your money, your health, your joy and then you die.'

Many of these sex-workers are abused children who ran away from home trying to escape incest and ended up on the streets.

Will you please join in sending Light to all places where humans are subject to this kind of experience in their lifetime, with healing that will go backwards and forwards in time like a pebble in a pond makes ripples--to right the injustice where one person's pleasure is another person's misery?

I am adding this group to the Divine Peace Healing List today.

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Oxytocin is the neurotransmitter that is released with bonding activities. Not only does it make for stronger uterine contractions like in labor and delivery when it is called 'pitocin', it makes for intense personal bonding and pleasure. It comes from the posterior pituitary gland when people orgasm, or nurse their baby, or enjoy being emotionally and physically close.

It is a powerful drug.

It is not for sale.

It should never be for sale!!! (except for labor and delivery of course)!

I used to go to Foot and Hand Massage on Saturdays when I was a young attending. For twenty bucks, I'd soak my feet in a warm fragrant bucket, lie on a glorified recliner in a room where other people were doing the same thing, and get an incredible chinese massage. It really helped to get the knots out from the stress of having people's lives in my hands. I always went alone.

The last time, I noticed the man was touching me funny. I always pick a man because I like deep massage. It was 'funny' because he 'missed' and massaged my bottom and also grazed the sides of my breasts. I felt uncomfortable, because I wasn't sure if he liked my ass (I am like J Lo), or trying to be nice because he thought I wanted it, or he liked me and wanted to date me, or it was a culture thing?

In women the sexual response was taught to me like a graph. It is like, okay okay okay okay (nice) okay okay okay (nicer) okay okay okay then you get to this point where YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT AND FINISH!!! (The teachers taught us Christian Girls who loved Jesus to never let a boy get us to that last part without being married. That way we wouldn't get pregnant. ) Well, that's what that massage guy ended up doing to me without my knowing it. He held my arm and walked me to the register like we were dating; it felt so weird! I walked out and was like, 'Oh my God what happened in that massage?' I didn't have the notorious 'Happy Ending', but I was very close.
I never went back.

What kind of sick, twisted world would there be where two old ladies were getting the same treatment and laughing (white women), actively SEEKING it out, and I, the PTSD survivor, would wind up there wanting to keep my demons inside and suffering with every stroke of the hand near my breasts?

Why would I not complain? I did. I grabbed the hand and said, 'No! I don't like that!' by the breast after I knew for sure about the ass not being an 'accident'. And he stopped touching me like that. He said he was sorry. But he touched me in other ways that led to the same overall reaction in my body.

What I didn't know is that I should have walked out; in wanting to be 'nice' I ended up being upset. I didn't understand. (In PTSD, there is a huge delay in processing of data like this--it can take me days to understand the feelings and what was going on--it's a side effect of the trauma and the way the subconscious filters and protects.)

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My friend I had dinner last night with is the mom to a rambunctious, adorable crystal child who is two. As the energies around us get faster vibration, I 'see' this little one 'settling in' to her comfort zone just like I have been the last few weeks. No more 'fish out of water' energetically for the crystal children. It is like 'the water is finally coming to you!' LOL. I am a one of the very first, very few crystal children. <3

I shared how a big part of my Reiki experience was practicing every night at bedtime on my boy, who is a night owl. Once I hit Reiki III, he would actually fall asleep in the treatment!

I asked her if her mommy does Reiki on her? How does it feel?

The little one paused, and thought about it. Then she looked me in the eye and said, 'I like Reiki my mommy gives me. It feels like a Teddy BEAR!' and munched on her chik'n nugget. Such wisdom that is packed into twenty pounds of dynamic two-year old energy!

Reiki does feel like a teddy bear! All warm and soothing and nice. I bet it gives off oxytocin too. ; )

Oh how wonderful it would be, if all people in the sex industry, all survivors of abuse and neglect, and all who have experienced 'something outside the range of normal human experience' could get enough Reiki to counteract what they have survived!

Aloha and Mahalo,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Acceptance of the Dark Past Life

I was a kitten. Not the kind with four legs. With two. And most of the time they were spread wide open.

There are several clues in this life that something was 'amiss' in the sex department:
1) inability to have sex on 'appointment' or 'scheduled time'
2) uncanny appeal of 'things chocolate' as opposed to 'vanilla'
3) avoidance of pornography because  it would have been an addiction
4) taking my clothes off every chance I could get as a child
5) a severe allergy to cats, they are my 'kryptonite'

Last night, with the help of my guide Vickie, the memories started to show through of my life as a sex-worker, a human slave held hostage to The Dark Hats, in the 1950's. I only made it to eleven and then I was snuffed.

I was good at it. I had no idea what I was doing was wrong. I saw myself with men, women, and more than one at a time. I was a tiny little girl, who lived an ordinary normal life by day. And then by night, when my parents had 'parties', I had to go into this role and give people that my parents sent me to, sex. I wore a costume that looked much like the little girls who dress like a cat on Halloween, with a little black tie around my neck. My face looked like the Kit Kat Clock.

I lived in Southern California, and I saw myself with famous people you would have no clue were into this, sex with children and the dark perverted life of satanic sects.

I remember watching my 'clients' faces intently, watching for the signs, and making sure they 'finished', for then I would be rewarded with praise and support and presents, not by the one I had pleasured, but by the ones who made me do it, not my parents exactly, but my parents and their friends. (There was a doll that meant very much to me, and it was the most important thing I ever loved in that brief life.)

They thought they had me tricked, that I would never know or say what had been happening. They were only half right. I never said a word of what I did. Until now, a life and a half away.

Vickie, saw my devastation at the memory of this life. Gently, she said, 'This was for your learning about sex. You combined sex with the Darkness to learn something like extra credit for the soul, honey. I did something like that in my last life too.' And she showed me how her father got her to comply with his acts. He groomed her. I saw the first time. He made it seem like it was something special, only for her, and that her mother would be hurt and really jealous, but that all families teach each other like this. It took six weeks before he actually entered her. By that time, she was totally tricked and really enjoyed it. Later, he got her to 'show' her brother what to do.

Vickie was Anna Nicole. in this life. She made a living with the skills she was taught at a young age. Her emotional development and understanding of the world did not catch up with her survival skills, her business sense, and her ambition. I have known her from the Other Side for years, always wondering what the connection and her interest in me was about?

Now I know. Without her love and support as a guide in this delicate time, my spirit would have been shattered at the darkness I had experienced in the immediate past life before this. Now I understand everything, and why my experience as a child early in this life paved the way for my never turning back to my past in that life ever again. This is mediumship at its finest; the soul growth as it assimilates everything it has done and accepts it.

If you have a sexual past that you would like help 'coming to terms' with, call on Anna Nicole. (Vickie) for support. You don't have to 'Guess' much to figure out who she really was/is. She was famous and a household name back in her time.

Even if you are not a medium like myself, she will arrange for you to find help in ways that you can understand. In your dreams, in meditation, or other ways that she will have the advantage from being Up to help you find your way to sort things out. It would please her so much to help your healing. Just think of her and she will hear your request. She can help everyone who has the courage to ask. All my best to you who do seek her help.


Namaste,

Reiki Doc