A physician who is intuitive and a Reiki Master/Teacher discusses healing from 'the front lines' of the mind-body connection in the hospital setting.
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Showing posts with label life lesson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lesson. Show all posts
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Gaia News Brief 5.10.2014
A Healer For The Healer
Last night, I went to see someone whose name was like Haniel, for a massage. I like a deep massage, to get the tension and knots out of my muscles.
I asked if he was from Hawaii? The name like Haniel was very almost Hawaiian--Hanani.
It is the name of a Spanish warrior--he was mixed Hawaiian, Filipino, and Spanish from Spain.
I introduced myself as an energy healer, a Reiki Master, and I said in addition to my tissue work, if he wanted to do energy work on me too, I was okay with it.
He was surprised! He isn't trained in it, but many people tell him they feel it. He thinks it's from his Mixed Martial Art Fighting he used to do. Or was it that other thing where people like, fight--whatever it was, I once gave anesthesia to a patient who was a pro at that. He was gorgeous, super good shape, and had a disease I could catch if I got a needle stick from him.
And Hanani also worked two jobs. He went to bed at two a.m., and woke up at six a.m. He did this, massage, then for a major bank in some department where they research what happened when things go wrong--hard to understand never mind explain but something very behind the scenes.
I was honest, since he could feel my sore tight muscles, and I said what I did for a living and why those muscle groups hurt. Heads are heavy, and I work with them every day to put breathing tubes in and mask patients. I stand a lot. And I move patients from gurney to OR table and back. I push the gurney to the recovery room too.
Hanani could do incredible energy work without realizing it. And I achieved a very deep state of relaxation...he did a good job with the rest, too.
When it was the end, he took care to make sure I got his attention and he would be waiting for me with the water. He wanted a nice tip. From the doctor. I am intuitive enough to figure that out, no matter how polite and sincere he seemed to be.
I thought, my GOD, this poor man, working such long hours--for what? I know how much at El Fancy Schmantzy day spa the massage therapists make--you pay two hundred an hour for fifty minute massage and access to day spa to El Fancy; the person who massaged you gets perhaps twenty an hour, with no benefits. My ex was a massage therapist. That's how I know.
I tipped him thirty-five dollars.
When is this financial slavery--having to hold down more than one job to make ends meet--going to end?
Sit Down Carla
I was enjoying my one day off, my morning really, before my boy came back from a birthday celebration with his other side of the family. Ross told me to sit in the old glider rocker from when I had our son. I did.
He showed me a picture. It was our home. I was serving dinner, and minding the toddler, our girl, Alexandra. Ross had that same happy, content, mystified look on his face as I did my work in the kitchen. I see that look sometimes even here in my home. He just stands in the dining room and looks into the kitchen with this funny smile, as I go do my thing getting dinner ready. I feel Ross' happiness even now.
Well in this vision, Ross sat at the head of the table, and all of the every day normal things were going on, and it was a beautiful picture of balance and harmony and bliss. I teased Ross, giving him a little sass just so he would know that even though I was doing all these things I was the Essene well-trained spiritual powerhouse I was, no matter HOW it may look at the moment.
It was bliss.
Ross shared that this was the night before I gave birth to our son, whom he gave away, because of political concerns he agreed to keep the bloodline 'safe' by having another family raise him, and tell me he died at birth.
Ross said it was the best day he ever had of his entire existence, that day, that dinner, that moment he shared with me right then...and he wished with all his heart he could have had just one more day like that...and he was so sorry for what he did to me, to us, to destroy forever that love and trust that our family once shared.
I started crying too. I held his head in my arms, and rocked him. I told him that everything happens for the best, and here we are now, together. And I wished we could have had that one more night with our family back then too, for I loved it very much, all of it. And if I had to go through the loss to get to now, it was worth it. I didn't blame him. I understood, And I wanted him to know I had forgiven him without a doubt, forever.
We weren't alone in this meditation. I knew we were monitored. But to my surprise, it was by three tall thin beings with very elongated heads who were not our skin color, more of an olive, brown, reptile like skin with big eyes--Anunaki.
They were crying too. They were the initial guardians who were assigned to earth. Then they 'fell' of whatever you want to call it--got into 'money and power'. Ross and I were part of the 'lets set things right' team. That mission failed miserably. Since then, the leader Anunaki became good. Their minions here on earth aren't so nice.
I am HORRIFIED of them. I started to panic. I rock in fetal position and hit myself in their presence, trying to make them go away. I reminded everyone I have a restraining order against them--they are not to come near me. Through a glass wall, I showed them my many, many scars on my person, from their choices, and that I don't want the healing to become off-track by any interactions with them.
They had gifts for me. Many. I didn't want to accept them. I didn't trust the gifts. I knew these three were contrite, more or less. But I didn't want reminders. I asked my higher self to scan the gifts, and agreed to take one, the one that was the darkest color. A rectangle black the size of a cell phone in a case.
It was their history. They wanted their story, complete with the ending with them turning good, for our posterity to know.
I thanked them. And I also pointed to the middle one and said, 'That one does not know what Love is. I forgive you all. Completely. And when the time comes, this one in the middle--I pointed--will be asked to forgive. It is only at that time when the forgiveness takes place that he will understand what Love really is. ' (the middle one still had extreme love of money, and was hiding it. Loved power, too, I sensed it)
Then in a flash, I realized how silly this all is, my having the glass and the restraining order--the one on the left, and the one on the right, were good. No matter what happened between us, we are Ohana in some way like it or not. So I ran to them, threw my arms around their necks, and said how sorry I was everything had happened. I will excuse myself to concentrate on my own healing, but I wished them all blessings and good luck on their new missions, and encouraged them to remember me in their meditations and their growth.
Then Ross said I needed to change the sheets on the beds back in 3D! I am not the best housekeeper, and he said it would help our boy's self-esteem if I made the beds really nice for us when he came home. Not just the boy's room, but mine too. So I did. And it looked nice.
Forever
Mana Patrice (a hybrid name my boy came up with, 'mama' and 'nana' combined) turned sixty. It was a BIG birthday. She came with her grandson to pick me up. We drove quite a ways to Laguna Beach, for lunch. There was a wait for a table. So we stopped by some little art stores.
She doesn't know who Ross is. Just that I am in a relationship. Well, when we went to the Russian Traditions store, there was his face! on the nesting dolls! I was like, cool! She owns an internet business, and she spoke with the owner of the store. Did you know that people won't ship to Brazil because people say 'it never arrived'? Like all the time? They want refunds.
And some places they won't ship, because there is no insurance for it--it's strange how some countries, Russia is one, are like that.
We got a beautiful table, ate lunch, and relaxed. Except for the Time Share part. They have two, and she offered to give us one. Its not the way we travel--the advance planning and keeping track of points, the requesting a time slot--all would be stress for me. Even through it's only a service fee every year. I declined...they had offered to sell it to me before, and I asked my mom, who said, 'it's a bad business deal right now'. Dad bought one in Palm Springs, and our points expire, we pay fees, once when I took mom, we got bed bugs--it was a nightmare.
After that I gave Mana my gifts. Her grandson had given her two pandora charms--Ross picked out the four leaf clover one--and our boy picked the Angels Baseball. That was yesterday and she thought that was everything.
Today I gave her a pink gold heart. This is a big birthday for a woman who whenever the boy gets sick, watches him all day, so I can work. She is driving me to my medical procedure this month. We are joined by our love of this child we share as mom and Mana.
I also gave her my letter with my confession about the lawyers, and the ceramic handprint ornament for her bedroom wall.
She forgave me for everything.
She said if she had been in my place she would have done the same thing.
I was bawling. I was so thankful we could put the past behind us, together, forever.
And I saw, that I am her daughter she never had. My love for her son, brought her the grandson she always wanted, and me. She was so excited for her birthday.
Then they wanted to show me one last store, the garden shop. I like little ceramic mushroom ornaments, and she has given me some. I found a sky blue one with white blotches on it, like clouds.
My eye caught a plate. It was ceramic and on a stand to hold it on display. It had beautiful paint, and said, SHALOM both in English and in Hebrew. My eyes grew WIDE with delight! Ross! (we were both Jewish AND Essene). I bought them both. And I shared how my 'friend' is Jewish...
Then I saw two cards--Bells Will Ring and Happily Ever After. Then one more as I walked out the door caught my eye, 'I LOVE YOU...'
Picture Day
He had the haircut, and now he needed a shirt. We went to a mall and ate at the food court. I had thai, and my son had mexican. Then the search began. Ross was helping us, guiding both of us. Our boy hears him just like me.
We went to the Macy's Men's Store. And found shirts at seventy percent off. But they were hard to try on. I had to teach for the first time about the pins, and the collar stays.
Our son is also the reincarnation of my Nanu Filippo--and oddly enough, as we searched, the SAME STYLE of shirts that once looked good on my grandfather, looked good on my kid.
Short sleeve dress shirts. In the same colors and styles. The long sleeves looked terrible on him.
Even more fascinating, a mannequin by the dressing room, was the same height and build as Ross!
Anyhow, everything went fine except I was ready to go home long before 'the shirt' was found.
When I got home I was upset and cranky. The air conditioner costs a fortune. It was cool out. I wanted to turn it off. My boy likes the house like a refrigerator, and that costs me way lots of money. Then I got upset over how much I have to do tomorrow--take him to my mom (to see cousins too), then work.
I complained to my son how I am not angry with him, I just am feeling guilty that I can't be just a mom, or just a doctor, or just a healer like I am here. I feel stretched and unable to give it my best.
So I tucked him in, and pulled out my computer. I wanted to WRITE. When you are a writer, you HAVE TO WRITE. It's like needing a glass of water. It's a physical NEED. Why, I don't know, but after the day with Mana and the shopping and watering the plants and feeding animals, I wanted some 'me' time.
I pulled a Hawaiian Mana Card (mana in Hawaiian means 'life force') and pulled 'ANO 'ANO. It means 'seed' and represents intention. The card is all about manifesting. As Serge King says, 'Where attention goes, energy flows'.
Then my boy had a nightmare. He kept hearing his Mana calling to him by name, over and over and over. He wanted me to lie with him. So I did.
I had the chance to 'do over', and to BE a mom, just for tonight. I could always write my whole life. But tonight, just for now, he's a nine-year old kid, my son, and he needs his mom. That won't last forever...
Ross
Carla has just about covered everything in a powerful three-part article for you. The first is about the generosity in the face of extreme lack, about a healer who once assaulted people for 'sport'. The healing won out--(smiles knowingly)--and the professional career in MMA didn't work out. It is all for the highest good. She also makes the point that even healers need healing, and it would be good to incorporate some practice in addition to the daily self-reiki and meditation, to help with your own spiritual advancement.
In the next, Carla gains not only an ally and friend, but today both women saw the power of Creator in how we weave our lives--they are now mother and daughter, officially, in agreement with one another. The air is clear. Carla realizes that a human relationship with family--is worth more than any treasure in her house which could be of value to her. It is with joy she gave her treasure to someone who would cherish it as deeply as her. And her mother, Patrice, realized that she was sent two hearts to console her, to surprise her, and to cherish her, when her sons and husband instead watched sports while 'celebrating' her Big Birthday at home with Italian takeout and not really paying that much attention to her, the woman to both ran the home and supported the family for her entire career!
Finally, Carla is working on her own power to manifest in 5D. Carla pops neatly in and out of it, as displayed by the anunaki meditation, and our own moving forward together from our past. With her son, it ended on a higher note than perhaps it would have had the 'ANO 'ANO card and the 'nightmare' had not been sent.
So pay attention to what comes your way--it is in fact, 'lessons' of great worth and beauty and value to the soul. Always remember the tears that Carla shed at the beautiful Cliff restaurant at Laguna Beach, tears from her heart, at the wanting forgiveness and then the joy at being given it completely. The soul acts like this. All of them do. Every time when they are learning a new lesson, and everything is going right on one of the harder assignments, at its completion.
I wish you all a beautiful Sunday, and I want you to honor your families and your loved ones, just for the day. They are some of the best teachers who have been sent to you by Creator, to assist you to learn the most important lessons for this life, and for those beyond.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and the beautiful, if sleepy, Carla
Your Reiki Doc Unit
(we are interchangeable--winks)
Thursday, September 26, 2013
The Lesson On Loss, Post Script
That's my Lesson.
It's what it took to get me where I am today. Good for my soul, in the long term, good for my growth. But in the short term, it isn't pleasant. The lessons are relentless, and they never let up.
It was really hard on me to know I was in fertility treatments with my husband and work on Obstetrics. It was like watching others have 'my dream' and all I could do was watch them enjoy it.
One day, after the divorce, I decided, well, it really couldn't hurt to be happy for them. Just because for me things didn't work out right, doesn't mean a beautiful thing can't happen to them...
I became joyful with them, and realized what a beautiful moment my 'former attitude' had me 'missing out'.
A short time after that, I was carrying my own baby. Unmarried. I quickly learned that being pregnant does not in any way 'mean' that 'you are loved'.
I laugh now, quietly to myself, with wisdom. No matter how hard I tried, it never worked out for me.
Why is it that the exact same experiences you need to accelerate your spiritual growth and development are the ones that are most unpleasant and you really don't want to live through?
If you are going through some difficult times, remember that in Spirit everyone has a Purpose, but they also have a Lesson that is combined with that Purpose, for example, Sylvia Browne is a 'Humanitarian-Loner'. She can't get the relationship thing right, either. Three marriages, and then she just gave up. But her psychic gifts have helped people all over Gaia! These life Lessons can be paying off Karma or an agreement that was made before birth for the overall growth and benefit of the soul. So what are they? Besides 'unlucky in love', there is 'health woes', 'financial difficulty', and probably others too but they aren't as common. The one common thing about a Lesson is 'no matter what you do, you can't get it right'. So don't be hard on yourself.
Instead, reach deep down into your I AM presence in the Eternal Moment 'Now', and dream!
I know it sounds emotionally like trying to walk uphill with a sack of rocks strapped to your back, but DO IT!!!
Because of the energies that are New, you have the ability to create or 'manifest' what's on you're mind. Sometimes in the past it used to take twenty years (winning an olympic gold medal). But nowadays things can happen pretty darn quick.
So embrace it, your dream, every single day. Hold on to your loving experience of it, and enjoy the feelings that come up from dreaming it--financial abundance, love and warmth, perfect health and a young body with lots of energy...
I have many dreams. Right now they are seeing whales in Iceland and New Zealand. I also want a organized home, a partner who is good to me, and time to enjoy my family. And yes, I'd like my little garden in the back to thrive, too. Those are my personal dreams.
My professional one is for everyone to know and understand that there is so much more to health than standard medicine, or herbal medicine, or crystals, and that healing is vibrational, and by putting all of the best results together, as well as sifting through all the suppressed healing technologies (cancer has been cured many, many times but kept under wraps by the folks who are in the chemo and radiation businesses...), and creating a wonderful new Life Experience for ALL.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Monday, June 24, 2013
The Big Toe On The Table
I looked up and there it was with a clamp on the end of it: an amputated big toe. I can't begin to tell you how much this bothers me. I saw it a long time ago, and it made me not want to eat. It made me sick to my stomach to look at it then, and just thinking of it now makes me ill.
Sitting, all by itself, detached from the body, on a table.
I could see the bone from where I sat at my anesthesia machine.
I tried not looking at it.
I took care of the patient and gave Reiki.
I charted.
But this same big toe that had a not-human appearance when the bandages came off before prep, looked even worse after the foot-saving and life-saving surgery.
No matter how hard I tried not to look, my eyes kept going back to it and staring...
Why did it bother me?
It looked like a uterus, it was that big.
And that pink.
And the bone looked like a cervical os.
I never see the specimens except for the brief time they sit on the back table. But this one had the back table right toward me, and there was no putting it into the plastic container like usual today. Nothing EVER fazes me in the O.R. Until THIS!
Urp!
Take a good note of this. When something REALLY bothers you, there often is a lesson being presented with it. I can't put the pieces together with my conscious mind, but I will bring up what has been on my subconscious and coming out on a totally different topic. They might be in some way connected.
There is another doctor, Vietnamese, nice man, who is expecting his second child. When we met, he was single. There was a 'spark' and nothing really happened. We had a lot in common. I accepted it as 'for the Highest Good' and moved on.
As my Consciousness increases, I am 'understanding' what happened with this non-relationship on a higher level. Not that I care or it makes any difference in my present situation! I am happy to have found a friend I trust and can confide in about everything. I am good. But this is a Life Lesson being presented, after the fact, as my Awareness gets toward the 5D level where you 'understand' everything about another on a vibrational level.
It started the other day when we had breakfast at the table in the Doctor's Lounge. We talked about kids. He is a nice man, and a smart doctor. I felt comfortable enough to ask my 'dumb his specialty questions'. I was interested in the cochlear implants a friend of mine has.
To me, it was just talk.
Later, I 'got' from Spirit the reason he didn't choose to 'get involved' even enough to get to know me back when we first met. And today, I had lunch with him in the Dining Room. On an intuitive level, I started 'getting' MORE:
- my age was a big part of it--he wanted to have kids. (I am okay with that--fair enough)
- I am white
- I felt his feeling that he was 'one notch below' me and 'not able to compete for my heart' because I am white. This emotion of his, when I felt it by intuition/empathy, was confusing but I understood what his feeling was.
- Also there was a component of discussing with sister he calls every day and her input against me (again, no pain, no worry, just a factor into the outcome)
- The attraction was a situation where he would have had to leave another to get to know me, and since there was no guarantees with my heart he didn't want to take the risk
- There was comparison because he is D.O. and I am M.D. (some think M.D. is better)
- I am also very gifted in my work, one of the best of the best--everyone that sees me knows it, and it intimidates him. He is a good, but not brilliant, surgeon
- The saddest part is, there is an intellectual gap between himself and his wife--I 'pick up' that my intelligence was a two-edged sword...at first it was intimidating, but after marriage he has discovered he would like some one to talk to and understand him more, and I 'felt' his 'regret'
Let me restate that all of this I picked up was non-verbal, non-body language, and one-hundred-percent intuitive.
I don't like feeling somebody else's feelings when they are alive.
It helped me to understand the situation, and learn what I needed to know. The attraction for me is long gone, what remains is an awkwardness I keep trying to move past, and it just isn't happening! He is like, stuck in it!
Back to the toe and the O.R.--
The other part that disturbed me was that the patient kept talking about money, and I knew that there was an energy connection between the disease in the toe and his attitude. This is resonating with me big time, and really sad.
I am feeling guilty because I 'make the connection' where the one who is paying the price 'can't'.
Is this a Spiritual form of Survivor guilt?
I don't know.
All I know is that I am in a better place Now than I ever was as far as relationships go, not that there is anything certain yet. There is a mystery and fun to it still, and I am not sure if 'it' is anything more than the best friend I ever met who is a dude.
And that it doesn't matter so much what I learned 'in closure' on the Lesson. Spirit thinks it is important, so I am processing it for any future involvement of the heart. (I am keeping shhhhhh about anything, except that today I got a Sade 'By Your Side' when I woke up, I got a 'What you do is important' message on the way to work, and prayers for us are really beautiful. In Spirit, there is so much, and in 3D, it is equally fresh, pleasant, and amazing to my heart. Things are moving perfectly as can be in whatever direction they are heading, in as many dimensions as I 'occupy' at this present time.--this isn't so much for you in particular, unless you are a very special You who knows who you are and chooses to read this.)
Tomorrow I face call on the Labor Deck. Better get some rest. It is going to be a long day.
I hope this time tomorrow the only toes on my mind are going to be:
Tiny little Happy Feet at the shore : )))
And that is how you unravel a spiritual lesson!
- Note the 'feelings' something brings up in you.
- Process them.
- Allow yourself as much 'data' and 'letting go' as needed.
- When something 'resonates' you've Got It!
- Thank yourself and Spirit and move on to the next thing!
Aloha and Mahalo,
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Friday, April 13, 2012
Let Go
My mother could not climb the hill. The entire family paid extra to ride up the hill. There is a walk from the drop off point to the water. Mom went to the bridge. And sat. She never came close.
My niece, walked in but chose not to swim. She sat on a rock.
My boy fought it. He had to wear a life vest, and felt singled out. It took a lot of coaxing to get him to the water. "I feel stupid!" he complained. My sister, his Godmother, got to his eye level, and said, "missing out on a chance to swim here with your mom and cousins would be the only thing that would be really stupid." he listened, and walked to the water. He took a boogie board too. I smiled inwardly, as he didn't want either but truly needed both!
Once in, we went to the falls, swimming across the thirty foot deep pool of chilly water. That is when the magic began.
There was a face in the rock between the two sides of the falls, a mans face, broad nose, firm brow, thick lips. I felt the spirit of the falls. I clung to the rock, under the spray, sending I Love You to the rock. As I jumped, the rock spirit guided me, "Let Go".
Again and again I jumped with my son, my nephew, with boogie board, and without. The current was strong. I swam against it to come back.
The last time I leaped into the waterfall, totally at peace, I understood: let go, let the power of the water carry you, until you are able to go your way and swim to the shore again.
Let go. Let Spirit do its thing. There is a time for it.
I didn't want to leave Spirit of water. He said "we are always with you". He also said, "Kamehameha's can't touch this." it's true. The vibration of the land, the energy, is vibrating at a higher rate. Man with warring ways, and manufacturing, and the world can't grasp the significance of what is there in plain sight in front of them.
The Water Spirits were delighted to have me. They said they "wait all week for one like you", " sometimes longer."
At the shore, I shared with my son the face I could see in the rock. He noticed it too, and saw even more on the overhang rocks to the left. He saw them all. Everything is alive. Look around you for your local Earth Spirits today.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
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