The Discussion Continues

"Your hear may cry, but even good comes from a weeping heart."

Here is the Heavenletter: http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/2014/03/19/heavenletter-4861-the-path-in-front-of-you-march-17-2014/

We are in Truce.

But this doesn't help. It doesn't help me.

Even if this whole 'life on Earth' thing was designed to help us keep our Vibration of Love energy HIGH No matter what...

The pain outweighs the gain.

And I don't want to buy a tee shirt or postcard or magnet for my refrigerator from this 'adventure'.

And my heart is FULL of LOVE for Heaven, and God, and HOME as I write this.

A Truce is a Truce...and that is all I have to say.

I almost would spit on the ground right now, but my heart is so full of LOVE that I won't let my actions be spiteful. I do want you to know that I thought of it.

A life with no connection, or connections that randomly break, is very painful to the energy system.

With my 'box of crayons' I only want to draw flowers and butterflies and unicorns and rainbows.

It's not fair that the bullies Who Don't Have Our Best Interest At Heart decided to break all my crayons in my box and make me eat them and cry.

So with LOVE for YOU in my heart I cry out with LOVE for 'they who do not know what they do' and I LOVE that you let me see how I DO NOT WISH TO BE (by their horrible example) and how much I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY miss HOME and GOD and ANGELS and FAERIES and UNICORNS.

Peace.

Reiki Doc

P.S.
Please give me a new box of crayons, some paper, and let me sit where I can see you out of the corner of my eye, Lord Father-God, and I will be just fine. That way Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart' can't bully me ever again. It doesn't matter what anyone else does or says or hurts my heart. With those minimum things, your Presence, crayons and the freedom to draw what I want to draw--in my case, beautiful things--I can adjust.

If you ask me, those significant others who turn away are just sorry excuses for YOU.  Since you are not so easy to see, hear, or experience 'down here', we try to make do with whoever shows us kindness and love. That is why it hurts so much when they break our hearts. Not only have you been taken away from us with that ridiculous Veil of Illusion, but then they, our transitional objects, if you will, turn away from us and walk away too.

That is why I cry.

Now I want to draw a picture of what kind of world I would enjoy. One where your energy is absolutely FLOODING the environment, undiluted, straight up, 24/7, forever and ever and ever...now let me create.

P.P.S. You played this song for me about ten minutes ago. Thank you.

The Sunny Side Of The Street by Steve Tyrell

http://youtu.be/61OX7jpaEs8

P.P.S. Why did you show me this license plate from from La Puente that says ATLANTIS???? It had some energy to it! 

Oh. So THAT Explains it!

I just had a disturbing dream.

I was re-marrying my first husband. We were older now. But he was in jeans, and I wasn't in a dress either. I was digging through my old jewelry box to find some new plain rings for us. His wouldn't fit. And the crowd seemed annoyed to be there in the first place, and waiting.

In my heart I was thinking that we would be peaceful together this time because we were older.

My sister, who had been our bridesmaid the first time, was standing in place, and ready...

But when it was time to walk down the aisle, I said, 'What am I doing? I don't want to be here!'

So at the  altar I politely explained the situation to my ex, and to the audience, and feeling tremendous freedom, I excused myself to go.

I've been divorced from him for twenty years! It was finalized I think April 1994.

At the same time, I realized I had some feelings to 'work through', and basically, it was facing the need for earthly companionship/needs being met that were totally apart from the spiritual ones.

And I Woke UP!!!

According to Marilyn Raffaele, http://aquariusparadigm.com/2014/02/16/the-arcturian-group-via-marilyn-raffaele-16-february-2014/, our entire LIFETIME this time around is meant to 'bring up some serious karma' for resolution. And in my dream last night, I felt myself working 'through' the the last bit of an issue I had thought had been resolved a long time ago...

Then Heavenletter today is along the same lines--'A Change Of Heart' --http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/heavenletter-4833-change-of-heart-february-17-2014/

To be honest, I was quite ready to 'give it a go' with the ex, and to trust him. It wasn't until I woke more and thought, 'What am I doing? I am happy with my husband in spirit, Ross! I am already married in my heart.'

I guess I got myself to the point of forgiveness (we were just kids at the time, and he had a troubled childhood, my college sweetheart who became my first husband.)

And that was it.

Go along for the ride.

Your karma resolution is depending on it.

Let everything happen for there is healing in it. Just note that you are Here, Now, and you have a say in how your heart REALLY feels about it this time.

Learn your lessons well. And let go.

I have to share a big one I did yesterday that is going to make you laugh:
When my son was born, the hospital gave us plenty of baby blankets to take home with us. You know the white ones with the stripes of pink and blue on them? I've kept them for YEARS. My boy is nine! Sunday, I gave them back into the dirty laundry in the newborn examination room. There were about ten blankets.

I let them go.

I let go of everything I had been holding on to, trying to keep the magic of being a new mother.

I let go of my dream of having five kids and a busy home and being a wife and mother.

There is no way I could ever have a baby. Even having him was a miracle--I couldn't. I would miscarry.

And now there is a hummingbird taking a bath in the fountain, chirping away.

Ross and I filled the hummingbird feeder together on Friday. He was trying to tell me I am his angel and I got embarrassed and wanted to cry so I changed the subject, 'Do you like hummingbirds?'.

'I like hummingbirds. Would you like to fill the feeder together?'

We did. 

I guess everything is going to be okay.

I'm glad he sent me one right now while I was sharing something that might make you laugh but was very serious growth for me.

He is a a good husband.

Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

P.S. This morning I saw him go to work. He went up an elevator type thing. He went WAY up. He was quiet, and thoughtful, and wearing his suit he wears, the one with the little gold triangle over the heart. They don't drink coffee at the control panels. I kind of thought they would. But they greet each other heartily, and get all intensely engaged with their work and their day...he's at the helm now. With Ashtar, Bartholomew, and one other... : )
Have a good day Ross!