On Letting Go--Thoughts From An Anesthesiologist On Death

Today we are going to bring up a subject that might make some people uncomfortable.  This is not the intent.  The motivation is to bring to you the benefit of my over twenty-years experience in the Operating Room, and to help you make the most of your quality of life when it comes to end-of-life care.



Three Hots And A Cot

This is an old saying among those who work in the hospital, where on the coldest of nights, people who have no place else to go, will come to the emergency room complaining of chest pain. They understand the protocol to rule out a myocardial infarction (heart attack) requires three blood tests taken eight hours apart.  This why food and shelter is given to them for one day, and it is free of charge, as there are few resources typically available for people who use this as a last resource.

People are clever.

So are those who work in the hospital for figuring out a quick saying that captures the situation succinctly, and allows more energy to be focused on other priorities besides the current situation. You can't win. The patient has won by faking a heart attack on a cold winter's night when there is no shelter. And you go through the steps and do what has to be done, but you don't worry or lose any sleep over it, does this make sense?

This patient needs a six pack and a fishing pole.  -- James Jakowatz, MD, Surgical Oncology

To me, this quote from my teacher sums up all of end of life care for the patient's highest good:  there is a point where further intervention will decrease the quality of life for what little time the patient has left--everything must be done to ensure the patient's comfort and to meet the patient's goals of care.

I want you to think about that as we go through the next few scenarios...

Disease Has Its Own Course Over Time

Recently I did major cancer with reconstructive surgery on a patient who was 'lost to follow up'. After the initial abnormal finding on the mammogram and instruction to have a follow-up radiology exam 'just to make sure'--the patient didn't do anything except go from one second opinion to the next, trying to decide what to do.

Cancer growth is described as a 'doubling time'--one abnormal cell takes a certain amount of time to divide into two cells. By the time where it can be detected, it has been present for what could have been a length of time!

Disease is not going to slow down its progression once it gets detected; rather, it is going to pick up steam and accelerate itself in your body whether you choose to act upon the test results or not.

This is difficult and painful for me to say to you.

I know you would like to have time for the emotions to settle after receiving a devastating diagnosis, before you resolve to act. Anyone would like to have unlimited time to search for the best course of action which is right for them...I know this all too well.  I've done it myself, and fortunately I got lucky. But I was playing with fire, with my own life, and I was gambling with very high stakes with my delay.

This is where the love and support of family and friends, and if you are alone then the social worker or chaplain--to help you sort things out once the cards have been dealt.

What could have been a twenty-minute operation with nipple sparing turned into a seven-hour ordeal, with much greater risk of anesthesia and surgery, as well as extensive restructuring of the body appearance because of this delay.

If money is a concern talk to a social worker. Most of my patients these days are funded by the county or the state or Medicare...there are options you might not know exist...

Dedicating This To Mommy and Daddy

My father challenged the system in which I work.  He had a total fear of the ICU. When I worked at the VA, on ICU, and wasn't allowed to leave the floor, sometimes he would bring me Taco Bell...it took a lot of courage for him to walk the length of the ward to the break room to visit with me. He stared straight ahead, and avoided looking at the rooms on either side of him that were his worst nightmare.

I suppose this only further strengthened his resolve to have 'no heroics' when his pulmonary fibrosis was diagnosed.

Have you ever seen 'air hunger'? Father died of it. After a while even the oxygen doesn't work any more. At the end he was so exhausted he did not have the energy to brush his teeth. Mom had to do it for him.

When I got the call, that he 'wasn't looking so good' and it was time to come to his bedside, the hospice nurse from Kaiser was at my parent's home. To my eyes, I saw her giving him an overdose, and withholding definitive care (intubation of the windpipe, like I do every day).   I accused her of all of these things!

My brother--in-law and mom yelled back, and said, 'HE WANTS IT THIS WAY!'

And he died.  It took hours. I had to tell mom to give him permission to go. And once the chaplain anointed him with oil, I saw a vision, my clearest and first one of the pearly gates. I saw him cross over...(there is a blog post describing it in detail, around June of 2009 he passed...not sure when I blogged it).

Father said NO! To long-term care in a facility on a ventilator. Father said NO! to being embalmed. Father said I ACCEPT DEATH after a lot of work with his chaplain and hospice team (they call it Palliative Care with his medical system)...

I learned to respect Daddy for the lesson he taught me--on how to 'let go'.

Mom, on the other hand, said, 'I WANT TO LIVE FOR MY FAMILY'. In 1999, December 31, mom had renal failure.  She could have died in four days had she rejected dialysis.

She took the dialysis.  Then she said, 'NO!' to the support group of dialysis patients. But after a while, she and father decided to go.

Then she said, 'NO!' to the extensive medical testing you need to do to be on the transplant list. She was terrified of having to do the spirometry test.  But after a while, she and father decided to complete that last test and be placed on the transplant list.  She waited with excitement for the day her new kidney would come!  (she didn't want ours, because as she said, 'you girls will need them.')

After time, she said, 'God? I accept this life of dialysis in my heart. I won't fight it any more.'

Two months later she got the call! 'Charlie' the new kidney was hers! She had energy, and a new life! Except for a bunch of pills she had to take, she could travel and enjoy her grandchildren again!

She took care of Anthony for two years while I worked part-time.  He was born three years after the transplant.

But the anti-rejection medicines gave mom both diabetes and bladder cancer. It was ADVANCED!  She needed life-saving surgery.

During each step of the way, in private, I asked her, 'Mom? Do you really want to go through with this? Is this what YOU want? And not what you think the family expects of you?  You let me know, and no matter what, I will explain it to my sisters gently if you just want to stop like dad did.'

She valued my openness and concern. And she told me where all the 'funeral packet' is and how she's planned everything. But for now, she wanted to live, and that was her goal.

It was a very long, drawn out time for her in recovery. But now she is content, and alive, two years later.

So whether it is a YES or a NO, you have the right to decide what is right for YOU, every step of the way, when devastating illness makes itself present in your life...

Dad as a little boy

Here Is The Skinny

From where I work in the O.R., I see a LOT. And there are some things that exist that I call 'mortal wounds'...

• that LAST thing that goes wrong in a patient who has multiple serious medical problems of all organ systems--who was living independently until this seemingly minor 'thing' happens.
• end stage cancer to the point of intestinal blockage in multiple locations with ascites
• tumors everywhere and weight loss to the point of being 'cachectic' (wasting)
• going for anesthesia for something minor when there is sleep apnea and morbid obesity
• any anesthesia when there is pulmonary hypertension
• very extensive surgery in someone who is not in the best of health

The patients basically 'want their old life back' and seek surgical intervention as a drastic means to 'obtain it'...

They and their families are not thinking it through.

There are surgeons who will operate on anyone who has a pulse.  Whether it is to do an exciting case, or to 'help', or to make money, there is a lot of pressure not to cancel their case...

In essence, if I have a 'BAD FEELING' about the risk of a poor outcome (death, stroke, etc) but no test results or evidence to 'back it up', I can't cancel the case...but if you look very closely at my face and my eyes, you will see my concern there.

In very brief explanation, for the reasons above, I submit:

• there are too many 'miles on the car' to withstand the anesthesia, surgery, hospitalization and recovery.  There is little or no 'physiologic reserve' to help you get through all what it ahead.
• It's a choice of dying with tubes and bags on the stomach or just without--it won't extend life.
• The doubling time has increased the tumor load on the body to where the tumor is taking more of the nutrition than you. At this point we are just 'feeding the cancer' and tube feeding is withheld...
• airway management in anesthesia is a serious risk we don't talk about. If you open your mouth and no one can see your uvula (that thing that dangles down in the back) you better be having your surgery at an experienced center who handles the difficult airway. No one might tell you that you had a significant desaturation after anesthesia was induced and the airway was controlled with the breathing tube because it was difficult to put in place.
• the risks of poor outcome with anesthesia and pulmonary hypertension are about fifty percent where with other diseases it is less than one percent.
• surgery is like running a marathon--the longer it is, the harder it is on your system.

Have The Talk

There are three talks you need to have about the end of life before you EVER mention it with your doctor...


With yourself
What do YOU want? Do you want to be kept alive? Or allowed a Natural Death? Do you want hospice? Who would you pick to make your medical decisions for you if you can't? How far do you want to extend yourself in treating your ailment? And what 'decision points' will be signs for you that perhaps it is time to change up the plan, and perhaps, suit your goals further, in another direction?  (By the way, I strongly suggest doing what works for you in MANY areas of healing, not just one...)


With your family
I have made it know that if I am in a persistent vegetative state I am OKAY with it. I only want my loved ones to be able to see and touch me as they need to, and when God says 'it's time' I am okay to go. In the meantime, I have my Jewish Friends on alert that I want the Torah read to me as much as possible, in Hebrew--because even though I can't understand it, my soul somehow does, and is deeply comforted by hearing it. My stylist Ed is the one who is 'on the hook' for this right now, and has been for over ten years. When Anthony was born, Ed came to the hospital with his little prayer book--and said blessings over the child and me. It meant so very much to us both, that he would do something so kind that no one else would be able to do for us.


With God
This is the most delicate of them all. Because, as we know, we don't have the final say in the outcome. It is important at this point to invite 'Creator' (I call it 'God' out of habit) to help direct your choices for The Highest Good.  Case in point, a woman I recently met at a mediumship had a husband die young. He was very sick, and he wanted to suicide. She was very disturbed. She loved him and didn't want him to suffer, but the ways he had in mind were messy and graphic and more than she could accept at the time. A mutual friend found a group, 'EXIT' in their native Switzerland. It helps people in his situation suicide. So he drank something, and she listened to his heart, and fifteen minutes later it stopped and he was dead.  she STILL bears the emotional scars from witnessing his suicide, and he left her with three kids to raise all alone...and this was over TEN years ago! So his 'FREEDOM' cost her more SUFFERING... so when it comes to the 'big picture' (read 'karma balances' overall--do you want to owe any in the hereafter?) make sure you get Creator in your court when you can.

There are a lot of blessings at the end of life. Some people spend their energy and purpose in easing the Transition of those who need it the most.  It is inspiring to us all.


Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc



P.S. for synchronicity--I've had this post rattling around inside for two days--and my friend and Reiki student also published this--and she is thousands of miles away, and we don't really keep in contact much <3  http://thewaytotheway.com/the-cure-for-death/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-cure-for-death
(Dis-Ease is energy imbalance, disharmony in the energy body that develops into physical illness if left uncorrected)

Lifting The Veil

Recently I have been asked several questions by my readers:

1. Explain the transition to the afterlife 2. Is there a formal script i can use as a guide for my moms service? 3. What basics should i cover? 4. What is death? 5. What is it like on the other side?
6. What do I do when my life becomes overwhelmingly negative and dark entities physically attack me and my pet?


Reiki was discovered, legend has it, because the students of Usui Sensei asked the question, 'How did Jesus physically heal others, not just healing the soul like modern beliefs discuss?'

In Japan, there is honor in that when the teacher does not know the answer to the question, they will make the effort to find out. Legend has it that Usui traveled through three different continents, learned several ancient languages, and studied the ancient tests directly in search of the answer.

Although my Japanese energy workers shall be quick to point out that this is legend, and nothing more, I think there is something worthwhile in this lesson:  that the students direct the class in the direction their collective consciousness wants it to go.

So here we are!


Let's review:

• the last blog post, http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2014/08/waiting-for-right-wave.html, discusses why we 'learn lessons'. For Ascension, this is an important step. Through self-discovery and increased awareness of ourselves, for example, how we think in a certain subject, or how we act that might have connection to a past life--we review and decide whether this 'thought pattern' is something we want to keep with us. This is a chance to raise the vibration by discarding low-vibration thought patterns from the energy body.
• Just like an epidural anesthetic for labor, there is a whole range of pain relief that an epidural can run. The heaviest it can be is so numb you don't know you have legs but you can move them. And the lightest is that pressure waves come and go (the contractions halfway covered up) but they don't hurt.  In this same manner there is a whole range of Consciousness one can have through the Ascension process.
• One of my colleagues who I respect and admire for her bold, pioneering spiritual growth, stated on her page yesterday that 'I don't need lessons'. Technically, this is correct. She has raised her vibration to a threshold where it is not as important for her spiritual growth--she has one leg 'up' on the Ascension 'bandwidth' already. She is leading the way and is enjoying the vibrations of the higher realms (5D). 
• For every one of her, there are many, many more who are just on the awakening end of the Ascension process, and are needing to 'do the work' to help prepare themselves for this new energy level or 'vibration'. Like getting a series of gentle Reiki attunements, their spiritual journey is going to 'open them up' to be able to handle the higher frequencies that are arriving to earth.
• Remember, Earth is like a one-room schoolhouse--and many grades are welcome and accepted in the program!
• People who have higher vibrations tend to be able to see ghosts and communicate with their angels easier than people who don't...

1. Explain the Transition to the Afterlife?   As people approach their Transition, they spend time going back and forth with their consciousness between both worlds. They are deciding and in preparation, much as a baby 'drops' into the pelvis in preparation of being born. At some point the soul disconnects from the body, and moves on to where it is from. Here is an example where I witnessed the transition of my beloved Nana Angelina (http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2013/11/what-i-just-saw-with-my-third-eye.html) and also when I witnessed the transition of my father (http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2011/10/why-behind-wow-oh-wow-oh-wow.html)
2. Is there a formal script I can use as a guide for my mom's service (she just transitioned recently from cancer last weekend--ed)?  Most services are for the living. Depending on how 'religious' your family is, it can take anything from a 'mass' type of 'service' that is something everyone recognizes as 'saying goodbye'--to simply opening the microphone for people to come up and share their memories of the deceased loved one. I tend to prefer the latter. I would use my pendulum and spirit and ask your mom from the other side what she would prefer. Here is a resource for you: http://www.ulcseminary.org/ceremonies.php
3. What basics should I cover?  Love is the Solution for Everything. She loved her family. She loved her life. She loved her career. She loved being a mom. Give examples to paint a picture of her love and how it was evident through her life. And give everyone an opportunity to share how she touched their lives too. For my father, I told the guests at the funeral, 'Dad, I KNOW you are up there (pointed to the back of the church) listening.' and I spoke from my heart a short message I had prepared for the family. The pastor let us come up. I, my boy, and my nephew all came up.
4. What is death? Death is when your soul no longer is connected to its vehicle to experience life, the physical body. Here is a description of the physical processes leading up to death itself: http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2012/07/energetic-look-at-death-what-you-need.html
5. What is it like on the other side? If you ask me, Heaven is a place--or rather, a 'vibration'--where nurturing, warmth, love and compassion flood your very being 24/7. Time does not exist. People don't need to eat and sleep, although there are rest periods. They have homes there. And many entertainers and comedians put on shows for people. You have access to the geniuses in the fields of your former work and your hobbies, and can consult with them for their expertise. There is a lot of watching and sending guidance and love to those of your family who are still incarnate in the Illusion too. As always, souls learn and grow, but it is slower and more gentle a process on The Other Side. As Sylvia Browne said, 'Live a good life, then go Home.'  My teacher put together this meditation which might be helpful for you: http://www.annereith.com/product/lives-between-lives-guided-meditation-anne-reith-ph-d/
6. What do I do when my life becomes overwhelmingly negative and dark entities physically attack me and my pet?  According to Anne Reith, PhD, my teacher, we have free will. The dark entities have to obey us. We tell them to Get Out and Go! They have to. It's that simple. It must be a strong belief and strong will to make them go. (these are those unattached to us. ) For those that are 'attached' and it's early, for some Reiki practitioners, self-Reiki is enough to 'clear the aura and energy field'. For others, for example, one woman whose Twin Flame boyfriend had entities that physically made him move--had a friend and lightwkrker removing the attachments without much success. I had her refer out. She got Margaret to clear her and her Twin. Now she is enjoying tremendous progress in her reunion with him. Here is how to contact Margaret for her services. Sometimes in cases of hardship ways to work around this are available too: www.margaretmccormick.com  For things that are often on high-ranking Lightworkers to disable them for their missions--sometimes etheric implants of a different nature are present. The work of Reverend Pamela and Alexandra Meadors are very helpful in cases like this. And example is Alexandra's husband Steven, who had one wrapped around his brainstem and altered every thought he had for the negative, leading to a life of addiction and abuse. He cured after this process of removal. http://galacticconnection.com/guardian-healers-alliance/irp-2/
7. What if you did not answer my question? spirit is always available if you ask. Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael are always a good start. Just go within, and ask from your heart for All Divine Assistance. It might require patience. Oh yes, Archangel Nathaniel is very good for really difficult situations. He says, 'no job is too big!' So is Saint Jude and Saint Anthony for the impossible. Here is an example of mediumship for you: http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-ride-home-with-michael-jackson.html

Ross:

Good morning.

It is a pleasure to be with you.

Carla, in her humility, totally forgot how I came to her assistance on her last call. 

In the middle of the night, after a very long day at work and only one hour asleep, she got her worst nightmare--a bloody airway. It was similar to a tonsil post-op that bleeds and has to come back to the O.R. to control the hemorrhage.

She collected herself, put on her shoes, and made the sleepy drive from her home back to her work, where she spoke with the surgeon about the surgical plan. She also, after setting up, went to the ER to examine the patient. It was the worst--sitting up, bolt upright, with four buckets already filled with blood clots that had been spit out, and the patient gurgling and coughing up more blood as they said it, 'every thirty seconds'.

This one was challenge for the following reasons:

• blood loss can lead to hypotension (low blood pressure) after starting anesthesia. It can be life-threatening.
• the airway can be so filled with blood the only thing the anesthesiologist can do is have someone press on the stomach and they 'go for the bubbles' to guide them to insert the tube.
• the airway can be lost, catastrophically, leading to need for emergent surgical airway.
• blood can spray all over her, and the patient might have a contagious pathogen in the bloodstream she can catch.

I helped Carla.

I sent her colleague from OB to be randomly at the OR right before the case started, so she could have back-up just in case if she needed it.

The work has a Glide Scope which was very useful for this case.

Carla has had coins in the airway of children in the past, and knows how to keep the airway open if anything were to go wrong.

She is comfortable putting patients to sleep that are sitting up.

She asked for me, and her whole heart knew without question that I would assist if it was for the highest good for everything to go right. Her calm, her zen, her faith in me, as a leader to those present in the OR with her was contagious to everyone in the room; everyone thinks it is the surgeon who is the 'leader' and sets the tone in the Operating room, when actually, it is the anesthesiologist. In times of risk, it is the anesthesiologist who directs everyone in the OR towards the rescue of the patient from whatever danger they are in.

I love her with all my heart, Carla, my wife.

I would do anything possible for her, when she asks.

I am not incarnate. There is only so much that I can do for her with my support.

That being said, there is a lot that I can do to help her that isn't seen.

I was standing there with her, holding her with my energy field, stabilizing her from panic, and keeping her calm the whole time. She did not know or feel my presence.

I was there.

Your loved ones do this effortlessly for you when you are in trouble too. They are your angels, guides, and LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY--no matter what may have happened between you in your common life when you were both incarnate.

I want you to reflect on this as you go throughout your day.

Open your heart, and feel the love that all of us have for you, even me. I love you like Carla, only different--she is my Twin and there is no other love like that---and Both of us LOVE you with all that we are, and we heal you and send you blessings whether you ask for specific ones, or not.

Our presence is to guide you in your awakening.

Namaste,

Peace,

Aloha nui loa,

Ross and Carla, the Reiki Doc.

Acceptance

I fed the snake today.

I have a snake. My boy wanted it as 'his' pet when he was five. I have what has been called a 'zoo', a 'menagerie'--I love animals and I am horribly allergic to cats, and dogs if they live inside. I have a bird, a turtle, and a fish in addition to the snake. Well, and some 'boarder' mice too. The child took care of everything for the cockatoo for two months before I bought the snake four years ago, to show he had responsibility and maturity to have him. That was the last I have seen of either character trait with the pets ever since--just like all parents discover--the novelty wears off quick.

Cecil is a ball python. He is very good-natured. I have written about him before.

I hate to feed him.

He eats live mice and rats. He is very picky--only fresh mice straight from the pet shop. The ones I've 'boarded' for a while don't 'smell' like mice. They smell to the snake like the bird, because they share the same room. So he won't eat them.

The good thing about the snake not eating some of the mice, is that the bird has some company. This morning I had five mice--all of them male, but in the past we have had the 'miracle of life' by accident...

For some reason today, I was having an exceptionally difficult time with the mice in the snake feeding box. I had three I brought from the pet ship this afternoon. I literally was shaking and making the transition symbol on them in their little bin, before one by one, they each went to snake.

I had to close the top on the box so I didn't have to look at them when the snake struck.

I am shown each mouse in spirit after it dies.

I am reassured that it is okay. The person who is with them has them wave to me. They smile...all of them smile, and wave--the spirit guide...and the recently transitioned mice.

It happened today.

Then I remembered why I hate so much to watch death...that's how Ross left me.

It was the worst thing I ever could have experienced. The wounds are deep. And they have stayed with me many lifetimes.

I cried while I was feeding snake.

I cried because of this world of death. And I begged to never have to experience the horror of witnessing anything die ever again! I begged everyone.

What was different, is that behind Ross--he's the one who smiles and shows the me dead mice--this time was a row of about twelve people in robes. Bearded people. SaLuSa was there too.

And I shared how this was never part of the plan, to have things keep on dying.  Even though the snake must live, I love him and don't want him to go hungry--the whole downside of Duality is the horrific way that so many 'leave' the Illusion.

And I cried over Ross. How I felt powerless. And guilty. With my intuition I had foretold this to him many a time, but he was steadfast in his efforts, and would not listen to my guidance to him in our last life together on earth.

Then it happened. The fourth mouse, was one from the 'boarders'. The snake quickly coiled and it died with minimum suffering...

He didn't eat it.

The snake killed one mouse, a 'friendly' mouse, and kept looking all over the cage for a 'better mouse'.

I had to take its corpse outside.  It's spirit told me it wanted to be buried with the compost.

I honored its wish.

When I was about to throw it in the hole, and cover it, it had one last word with me:  make new Life!

Then I really started crying because 'God takes away everything I ever loved and God does not want me to be happy!' I also said that I didn't understand! I would never understand! And it is horrible and pointless and painful suffering that has to stop at once!

I know this is total bullshit--with my logic and my spiritual experience as a medium. But the emotional wounds are just as fresh as ever. I love God. But I also have hit my limit in the 'growth department' on this 'lesson' a really really long time ago. I also saw quite clearly that those who had advised Ross on our son, were those behind his death, and that they knew exactly how to destroy my heart as they had studied me on the timelines...I asked God how this evil can exist?! And why didn't He put a stop to it a long time ago?

Ross asked me to sit on the porch swing. I lay down on it, on my back. SaLuSa told me something, but I started to get upset. I think it was about the necessity of Transition for the delicate ecosystems. It was logic, to make me feel better. Ross gently stepped in.

He talked to me of acceptance. Do you accept I wanted to die? Do you accept I thought of you, when I asked that maybe I wouldn't have to die? Do you accept how I looked when I died? When I died, I was up, above, and even though I was talking and you could hear me after a point I didn't feel--I was safe. (As his twin, I felt everything too. And the worst was when I felt his energy go silent--I felt not only everything leading up to his death, but his actual passing, too, and his soul was gone for the first time where I could not feel it. There is no worse torture for a Twin.)

He asked, do you still love me?

Do you still love me in death? Do you still love me that I did what I did to our boy? Do you love me through the pain that you experienced? Do you love me still? Do you love me through everything?

I said yes softly to every question he asked...

He held me a long time.

Then he told the people who were watching us, to make it so I would never have to be reminded of his death again. He explained to them that I've had enough. And I accepted it, that outcome, his leaving me through a horrific, painful, torturing death. It was time for everyone to move on. Out of respect for what we have experienced as a couple, and as Twins (it is never easy to watch a Twin die)--could I be given that consolation to be able to move ahead with our new life, unencumbered?

The answer from the twelve was 'yes'.

For all it's worth, I feel better.

I was given a lot of healing by the twelve after Ross got me through my last lesson, as in, my most recent one, not my last lesson I will ever learn or anything.

I think it's important to write this.

For other people and their Twin Souls are going to have this kind of healing to go through, as well.



Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc

My Beloved? You're Right. It Was My Mistake In The First Place.

My Beloved,

Game. Set. Match.
You win.
You are right.

I know that is music to your ears! Just like it is music to mine when you call me Cinderella. <3
(http://sirianheaven.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/heavenletter-4881-cinderella-sleeping-beauty-and-the-seven-dwarfs-april-6-2014/)

I know that story well. I have lived it. In many a lifetime.
My first gift that I can remember in this lifetime was a tiny watch with pink numbers and hands, that wound up. On it was the word in script writing, Cinderella.

She's been my inspiration my whole life.

I have to take my son to breakfast at his favorite place. He's getting dressed. I don't have much time to write...he's very hungry, and so am I.

But I want you to know how I FEEL.

I 'got' it. I got the point you were trying to make.

I got it yesterday.

Because of my friend who is dying, and the one who passed suddenly in the fire, I decided to 'pretend' that yesterday was my last 'normal' day on earth.

It worked!

I detached!

I enjoyed talking with my mother. I didn't mind the political positioning at the office department meeting on Saturday morning. I didn't care that I make the least money in the group! They explained the higher earnings go to 'those who like to work'. I laughed inwardly. How can you work those hours without a wife to take care of you like the men? How can you make time for your family? It's a balance, is it not--the income and the memories you make with your loved ones?

I went to my favorite garden. I saw where I had once wished to get married...I picked fruit and I ate it. I sent photographs of flowers to my friend who is dying, and the iris I sent her (her pre-agreed sign to let me know it's really HER who is contacting me from beyond) ...was matched with the rose (I sent her my heartfelt wish of every rose in the garden, that this is going to be MY sign to her that the message really is from me, and that I GOT her message when she has the chance to send it from The Other Side.)

I took my son to the park, and I saw with new eyes! The grandfather pushing his grandson with the blue balloon in the swing, and the child's delight. I saw turtles and ducks in the pond where I used to go feed them as a child. The squeak of the swing as I rode on it instantly transported me to childhood at Houghton Park, where mom used to be in her beautiful clothing and push me so patiently every single time we went to the park.

I felt JOY I had not felt in years.

And it felt GOOD to detach!

I wish I could feel like this every day...on others, concerns for my own survival, and my own physical exhaustion and hunger make me cranky and I lose hope.

I will say, I will make an effort to try to see the world more like YOU. For you are RIGHT.

And when I do, my Beloved, when you have the time, I would like to know just how that makes YOU feel about it!!

Remember, feelings are IMPORTANT!!!

That's what keeps us connected with our hearts--you holding up your end, and giving me a little 'tug' every now and then, just to let me know that you are there--and that you are happy to still have this connection with my heart.

I'll be smiling and holding up the other end of our heart-connection on mine, and giving it a little 'tug' back every now and then, just to let you know I am still overwhelmed with happiness just to have this connection to YOU.

I wish you a wonderful Sunday at work, my beloved.

Don't work too hard, and have a good day.



Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,

Reiki Doc

The Exit Strategies

'Qui vit en paix avec lui-même vit en paix avec l'universe.'  --  Marc-Aurele

'He who lives in peace with themselves lives in peace with the Universe.'  -- Marcus Aurelius



Every Soul Has The Freedom To Decide Its Soul Progress
Earth, or Surface Gaia, is a school that offers something to each Soul in a variety of levels for Soul Development. Like a one-room school, Gaia offers Lessons that are available to every level of Soul Growth. Her Diversity is unparalleled in all the Universe!


Gaia Is Upgrading Her Curriculum
The Soul of the planet has a Soul Development Plan for Herself, as well. Think of Her being a planet as a 'Master Class', for example, a class for dance teachers or yoga instructors, to help Her become her best Soul she can be too.


Not Every Soul Is Comfortable With The New Upgraded and Further Advanced Curriculum
Each soul has autonomy to learn its Lessons at its own pace. Sometimes it is needed to repeat a Lesson until it is mastered at a Soul Level. According to Sylvia Browne, each Life is 'scripted' for major Lessons, and gifts, and Mission or Purpose, in a Pre-Birth Contract.
Each Contract has 'Exit Points'. There are about five of them written into each Life Script. At an 'Exit Point' a Soul has the option to continue the contract, or to exit Gaia and move on to something else. The last Exit Point is non-negotiable.
For some Souls, the incoming Vibrations of Higher Frequency are extremely uncomfortable to them. Imagine listening to fingernails being scratched on a black board, or chalk scratching on it, or any other unpleasant and annoying sound that drives one to distraction. How can a soul concentrate on its Mission when it is in this state of Distress?

Exit Plans or Exit Strategies Have Been Developed Between Each Soul and Source For The Event
According to a recent Gaia Portal, the exit strategies for these Souls who might not make the most from this 'Upgraded Curriculum' are in place. I have seen sudden, recent loss in some of the loved ones of my readers recently. They share about it on social media sites where I am present. They also ask for Reiki and for Spiritual Support (for the survivors and their ones who have passed). Although this loss is difficult, and grief is not a welcome experience, the loss is the soul exercising its right to 'go', and must be respected. My mother lost her uncle who is the same age as her--both her grandmother and mom were pregnant with them at the same time. Mom is the last survivor of her family line, almost. When you hear news of a sudden death, please use the perspective of the Soul and its option to leave and return as a newborn on Gaia or Off-Planet to continue its Soul Lessons at a 'level' that is optimum for them.  This also applies to sudden break-ups in relationships, too.

Angelic Assistance Is Available At All Times To Help Those Grieving A Loss
In case of overwhelming distress, make the call with your heart, mind, and soul, for All Divine Assistance to be given to you. Angels, Ascended Masters, and Deceased Loved Ones will hear your call! You may or may not experience 'contact' with these Guides, but they shall be Present with you. Journaling will help you keep track of the sudden ideas and signs and messages sent so when you look back you will see the pattern of Divine Intervention on your behalf. Dreams are important for this too. Also be sure to use the services of a reputable Medium if your adjustment to this Loss is extending for a long stretch of time and making your ability to function impaired.



I hope this message offers some explanation to what is happening from a Spiritual Perspective.

Let Go, Accept it as Divine Will, and Ask, Believe, and Receive as you enter your new phase that was suddenly placed upon you as the 'loved one that was left alone'.



Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,


Reiki Doc

The 'Closed Heart'--A Lesson In Duality and The Higher Dimensions

This is a story of observation.

There is no right, and there is no wrong.

This is looking at a death in the family through higher dimensional 'eyes'…

Our matriarch breathed her last.
I, who was very close to her, was present in the room.
I am comfortable with death because I am a doctor.

I was glad we were alone.
There was peace, a mixture of joy and sadness at the finality of the 'goodbye'
She had lived a good life, and spent years suffering from the ravages of dementia.

Yesterday was the viewing.
No one was invited but the closest.
She looked beautiful in her pink casket with pink rose sprays and a pink rose heart arrangement.

I wanted to see her One Last Time
The hands that helped raise me
And pay respect to the Heart that guided me throughout my whole life.

I was safe with her
And loved
Very much so

In the room, was another, who was there by duty as much as by free choice
It was better that this one was present, another decided not to even go.
'You were a good mother' this one said to the corpse.

The eyes were dry but the voice cracked a bit.
This one brought treasures to put in the casket
A favorite sweater, a robe, jewelry, a watch

I didn't bring anything
Except my Awareness
Memories washed over me of all the good that has passed, the kindness, the lessons; quickly I was transported to the place of No Time, of Silence, of Gratitude and Heart.

That is the Higher Dimensions.
But I kept being 'yanked' back into Duality
By the one who has 'cried all their tears' and brought the treasures.

This one was anywhere but here and now!
Old hurts brought up against others--the inheritance denied, the savings spent by a careless one, memories of pain, shame, and unhappiness.

None of these had anything to do with the deceased!
There was talk of who would come to the funeral, what time the meal after…
No matter how I tried to distance myself and get back to 'that space of Timelessness'--I was not allowed to return.

I left my hand on the shoulder of the one who had passed, feeling the cold, taking in the Presence.
And I opened my heart in Love to The One That Does Not Understand.
Left behind by parents and husband, perhaps the pain was too deep to fathom?

Or perhaps the knowledge that 'my turn awaits'?
There is Life, the endless busy rushing of the living.
And the Divine which encompasses us all.

Where is your Heart?
And what is its dimension?
No matter where it is…will you open it?

Just a little more, to allow Light to bathe every cell in your body,
Every thought, every emotion, every hope, every pain.
You are Light-That-Walks-Around-On-Two-Feet!

Always remember this.
My lesson from grandmother
Is the beauty and softness of a heart that is opened by pain.

By joy and sweet surrender
To Lessons that Life does bring
Not judging, not worrying…

Staying open to the Light
Through the Heart
To 'Connect' to something that connects us all.

And to share this Light with those who are too tired to grieve,
Too stressed to Open.
Fully present, Here and Now, I Hold the Space for Others to awaken…

In my family
my work
my home.

And also on this page.
<3






Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

The Gift Of Presence

Today I spent eight hours with my Nana Angelina in her nursing home. I sat right next to her bed. When she awoke, I smiled and gently spoke with her. When she slept, I put the cold towel on her forehead and sponged her arms and the back of her neck and face with cool water. Her fever was 101F.

She stopped eating last week. Today her 'adult pad' (the appropriate term for an adult diaper) was hardly wet. They changed it once. The nurses changed her position in bed twice.

Nana will be ninety-three this week. If she makes it. Her organs are shutting down slowly before my eyes, and her skin is losing its color over the course of the day.

The hospice nurse came. The doctor had ordered to stop all feeds because she aspirates (chokes) when she eats her thickened liquid meals. She can no longer take a pill.

I spoke with the nurse at length, and agreed to the arrangements. The nurse later drove to mom's house where my sister and mom were waiting to sign the forms.

I asked Nana, 'are you tired? are you Done? do you want to see Nannu?' and she just stared blankly back at me. Earlier in the day, when she first woke up, she recognized me and asked for a kiss. She also said she was hungry.

What do you do when a loved one is in the early process of death?

You sit.
You talk.
You hold hands.
You take photographs.
You cry.
You thank God for the time you have left.
You give permission 'to go'.

Alzheimer's is a disease that causes so much suffering!

What do you do when you are watching the one you love so much arrive at end-stage dementia?

And what do you do when you are Reiki Doc?

You surrender.
You accept.
You see Blessed Mother over Nana's left shoulder and your Twin Soul over her right, and negotiate and get reassurance from the Other Side that she will not suffer. They say, 'we'll take care of her'.
You have visions of unicorns who present Nana as a young woman to you, and later, as she will appear from The Other Side (as she did when I was about ten).
You ask the Unicorns (there were a lot of them in a field in the etheric plane that I saw with my mind's eye), very politely in their ear, about unicorn etiquette:
     How do you say 'thank you' to a unicorn the proper way?
You watch as that question touches them deeply. They think reply, 'Mahalo nui loa' is what we say.
You make flower garlands and ti-leaf leis (the open-ended kind) in spirit for the female and male unicorns and put them on and say 'mahalo nui loa' to each one. They act like they tolerate it but you know in your heart they appreciate the attention very much, and look them in the eye and smile.

The message that came through tonight was that all is not decided yet--she is 'thinking about it'.

I also, in the silence, felt our auras communicate profoundly in the Language of Light, Nana Angelina and myself.

You also thank the nurses and LVN's for the remarkable job they have done taking care of your loved one.

When was the last time I spent that much time with Nana? I don't think I ever have.

What was my happiest memory with Nana? Taking her to see the opera Pagliacci and watching her smile. I wish I had done that more often.

What is my biggest regret? That I didn't spend enough time with her.
Her spirit corrected me--in the Language of Light--and said I was not made for that kind of life where you are a homemaker like she was. She also let me know she understood, and was proud of me. And she never wants to see me cry.

Her life, compared to what it was, is really hard for her. When she was more alert, she was embarrassed at the 'adult pad' part. She hated the food, although she loved the 'formal' dining room. Although all the nurses love her, and make her smile, and come to see her even though they don't have to, Nana's existence is not what she ever had in mind.

But to spend a whole day just with her, in her suffering?

It's the gift of self that always gives back more in return.

I feel wonderful right now. Except for the part where I am going to at some time say, 'Good bye'.


Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Something To Add: The Truth Of Death

There is an article that just came out by The Creator Writings about death: http://thecreatorwritings.wordpress.com/2013/10/21/the-truth-of-death/

It's true.

I am a medium. I've seen 'ghosts' my whole life. And I talk with them.

One of my favorite ghosts these days is the father of a Japanese chef I know. He showed me a perfect heart on the granite wall across from the counter where I was eating alone the last time I sat there. He is very supportive and kind, and has a genuine interest in my heart. He's a 'friend'. I only see him when I am where his son works.

If you are interested in more stories of 'what happens after death', I invite you to read my book, Messages From My Patients. I published it online one chapter a day on this blog as a service to humanity. There are over eighty chapters. The point of the book is that most of my patients who die, seek me out with a 'message'. I carefully recorded each one in a journal over many years. There are some relatives in the book as well, but I changed their names and sex to something different so my family wouldn't get upset if they read them.

Here is Chapter 1--it is about the first time I learned how to 'pronounce somebody dead': http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2013/01/messages-from-my-patients-chapter-1.html

I hope this book give you comfort and peace, especially in times of loss.

Please excuse the times I accidentally assigned the same number to two different chapters. You'll figure it out.

And just in case you are wondering what happens to the body as it dies? I wrote about that too: http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2012/07/energetic-look-at-death-what-you-need.html

I also shared what happened, both to my father and myself as a medium, during his 'Transition' with Our Lady into Heaven: http://reikidoc.blogspot.com/2011/10/why-behind-wow-oh-wow-oh-wow.html

With great love for you and all whose lives are touched by the death of a loved one,

Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,

Reiki Doc

Intuitive Mediums vs. Allopathic Medicine

Yesterday a colleague came to me flustered. A prominent surgeon had picked up the phone from a patient, who berated them at length over 'not being called by the office and the disease is going to progress and kill them!'.  Interactions like this are not typical for this surgeon, and they dug in through the emotional maelstrom to find the truth: the patient had chosen to see a psychic, an intuitive medium, instead of following up on their own care.

The medium, guided the patient BACK into the system, but said, "You are going to get stage IV recurrence and die even though you get the surgery". The surgeon, who had followed their OWN intuition, found out the truth!

Never before had this type of scenario happened in this surgeon's prominent career over two decades.

And never before has the surgeon known, that I, the one approached for reassurance, was a psychic, Intuitive medium, and Reiki Master myself!

"Who IS this medium?", I asked authoritatively, shocking the surgeons somewhat. "They should be reported." (I know a teacher in the area, and it might have been one of their students) "In talking like this they are practicing medicine without a license."

"Well how are you going to report THAT?" the surgeon shot back. "Besides the medium told them to come back and have the surgery."

"Anyhow, I think you should have your patient request me to do anesthesia for the case. I could help them in the O.R., I am good with patients who are like this." and that went totally over the surgeon's head.

"Well, they are back in the system, and the patient is happy. I don't think it's going to make a difference now."

And I shut my mouth. A big part of being a Reiki Master-Teacher is knowing when to let it rest.  This medium was not acting in the best interest of the patient. And for anyone who is considering going into  practice as an Intuitive Medium, heed this case! It is a lawsuit in the making, for metaphysical malpractice.

Now take the counterexample, also from yesterday, of the Intuitive Medium Physician at work. A patient presented with the same disease that was mortal to my father. The goal was to have a test in the CT scanner, where a biopsy was taken to hopefully return the patient to the transplant list. My experience with this disease and my assessment of this patient's clinical condition was that the outcome was not good. I was willing to give it a try with the anesthesia, but a hunch told me to double-check on the risk of a known complication of this procedure that would be deadly to this patient with end-stage organ disease of the lungs. Sure enough, the radiologist had cancelled the procedure two days ago, on account of risk, and scheduled anesthesia to be assisting with the case. The risk of this particular outcome, was over fifty-percent.

So my gut instinct was right. But how to break the news to the patient, that they were going to stay off the transplant list for good because it was not wise to do the anesthesia for this test?

This is where the mediumship came in: I asked for Divine Guidance, and I also had all of my Intuition Radar up. My approach was, you are not doing so well with two lungs, this procedure might drop one. We can likely get you through, but you might not wake up the same as you are now, or not at all. I am not a gambler. The risk to you of brain hypoxia, renal failure, myocardial infarction, ventilator dependence, and death are too high to take you through this risk. I 'get it', the importance of this test for you, and how much you put your hopes on it. But things today could go way bad in a hurry, and I am not going to move forward with anything that could do that.

And the patient understood. We were talking soul-level to soul-level, heart-to-heart on their future, and the quality of it, in the short time that was left. Both of us knew, before we ever met, how sick this one really was.

The radiologist was deeply relieved, and went to ask the pulmonologist what else we could offer.

Mediums who are aligned with the medical system have so much more to offer than those who are against them. Doctor-bashing and establishment bashing is a sport. But blinders need to be lifted.

Dear Primitive Patient--your whole concept of Allopathic Medicine is going to change. Because Reiki Doc is in the house, and going to bring the Light in, and that is going to fix it. There is a whole movement around us called Intuitive Medicine coming in. There are so many of us doing our thing out there from within the system--that we are going to rock the house! Orloff, Shultz, Oz, and more...

Namaste,

Reiki Doc