If The Shoe Fits...
Life for me is incredibly unpleasant at this moment.
Two colleagues are 'out sick'--one has had fusion of the cervical spine, and the other, whom I suspect very strongly is on vacation and going to come back with a very dark tan--has 'herpes zoster and is in pain'.
So everybody has to move up and take their call for them.
The c-spine one, I saw him before surgery, and it was like he had just won a million dollars he could barely contain his delight!
He said it's because of the pain and they could Do Something about it.
I sensed because it's an instant eight week vacation in late summer, no questions asked.
I know from experts that he had the not-state-of-the-art surgery, for his condition. State-of-the-art is only done by two surgeons in the area, and it is the removal of the damaged disc and replacement of a fake one. There is no screws and plates in there.
This one unbeknownst to him is the incarnation of Archangel Raguel.
Spirit told me this when I saw him in pre-op.
And RAGUEL basically 'gets the bad guys caught in their own trap!'
So is this why I have to cancel my sister's birthday lunch and possibly my entire VACATION--because my boss told me where are short and on my ONE AND ONLY DAY OFF in two weeks I have to work?
I told him I have plans.
He didn't care.
My Discontent
It has grown beyond the ridiculous at this point.
I want out.
And for me, the only way compatible with Ascension is to keep focused on what I want...what I really want...and that is to get the hell out of 3D and duality.
This JOY bathes me 24/7, 360--I LIVE and EXIST in a force-field of JOY.
I just can't feel it.
Unless I let go.
Unless you let go of WHAT, Carla?
Unless I am unwilling to experience any more suffering, and I let go of the pain--by telling myself this is ILLUSION, pure and simple--and to not make room for anything else but the JOY I want to experience.
I say, over and over to myself--this current situation is not REAL. It is ILLUSION.
What is REAL is I am made to experience joy and contentment.
JOY is the only option I have.
And it works! I get a glowing feeling in my heart center for a while.
This is the last step in 'doing the work'. After you drop your baggage from your many incarnations, and face your fears one by one, you must CHOOSE what paradigm you want to engage in....fear or love.
I choose LOVE.
It is a resolute choice, and I am stubborn about it. Basically, in my view, my birthright is JOY.
I can drop dead from overwork, but that still cannot take my joy away from me. I can experience this JOY until the bitter end.
I have to give thanks to Ito for teaching me this one. He is Buddhist, and believes in reincarnation. To him, this is 'only a life' and 'not a big deal'.
It's true.
I might be too old to have any more children, and never have time for anything but work...but it's only Illusion and it's ONLY a life.
Getting worked up about it or fighting it is pointless.
Hot Coffee In My Lap In The Car
That was my lesson for today. A nasty scald. I dropped my cup on the freeway. I was horrified. I picked it up. Then the burning happened. I felt the coffee run into my lap and my legs, hot hot hot!
I got burned! I said to myself over and over again. I got burned!!!
Ross said, 'that's how you are with your love experiences. You have been 'burned' Are you going to stop drinking hot coffee because of this scald? It's just a mess and you know what to do and you clean it up, right?
Right.
Ross
Carla is at the most difficult part of her lessons, her training has prepared her well for it.
What is Joy?
It is a vibration. It is a feeling. It is a WAY.
It is a WAY of life, of looking at things!
I can't feel the JOY for you that is yours! Not even for Carla, and I am her twin.
It is up to each of you to decide when and how you want to experience that JOYFUL EXPRESSION.
Carla is working on 'laps' of it.
Today, the caterpillar monarch turned into a chrysalis on the roof of her habitat for him. It is light green. In a few days it will be able to fly. Another big one is climbing on its way to go hang at the top.
The baby is still having to eat.
Everyone is at their own pace on this, just like the caterpillars.
Carla is 'hanging and in her chrysalis' right now, with her soul.
A butterfly shall emerge and no one shall contain it.
Can you imagine how the roles will reverse when Carla's relationship to me is known across the world? How her coworkers will have to scramble to cover her shifts, for when she is mine she is MINE and I'm not having any chances on the OR or anything else.
That is enough for me today.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla