I am trying new things with my work. I said 'no' to a work environment that did not respect me--partly because of my being unable to accept the good with the bad like a neurotypical anesthesiologist. When my income was denied due to a mix-up, it was war because they made me prove through the people who mixed up that they mixed up. Not just my bank statement and my saying they mixed up. It was a ten-thousand dollar amount. After my doing two years of clerical work forming the corporation and getting contracts for them for free.
Trust goes both ways.
I found out yesterday, talking with the accountant for the group, that the lost money I had been trying to ring the alarm about for months, totaled to nine thousand dollars. What happened was that checks written by United Health were on a pale green typical check paper. But the BMO lockbox which deposited the checks, the safety feature deeper into the lockbox system, kicked the check out for 'being unreadable'. They took a horrible unreadable photocopy of the check, and sent that in a notice to our group that money was being taken out of the account. It was never deposited back.
Overworked, I asked a colleague who was good at talking with that insurance company to approach them. I gave all the copies of the letters.
He just shrugged it off. He pressed me for the numbers on the checks and the amounts that were not there. He could have looked them up. On the bank statements (where the accountant found them). He just is a new father and has other priorities.
Going back to the main OR was fantastic! I got a new locker in the newly-opened women's locker room (these are very scarce things if you do anesthesia especially in outpatient). I had two backup calls. And a bonus Wednesday off!
However this is half-time.
This week I gave to a sister outpatient anesthesia group. I live by the new facility they got the contract for. I had been hoping they had gotten all three open contracts--GI center, under the hospital outpatient, and this freestanding one. Well, I had to go for a meeting on Saturday about blocks. But I could only attend half of it, I had an appointment. The guy was good with blocks but wasted an hour on 'sterile technique' and I'm trained in surgery, I know how to put a sleeve on a probe.
My first day was awful. I couldn't have made more mistakes. The anesthesia machine looks like ours with the electronic flowmeters, but they have old-school knobs in a place where I had to have someone point them out to me. This facility, to save time, skips pre-op assessment. There's a corner of the anesthesia record where you check a box that says 'no change from H and P'. I've never seen that done anywhere in my many many years of providing anesthesia care. The nurses were rushing me. I couldn't eat. I barely got one glass of water between cases. My blood sugar plummeted by the end of the day. Surgeon was upset, he went behind my back and asked someone else to put in blocks on my two patients. He took money away from me, and also, showed disrespect. One patient had blood pressure drop to forty ('he's moving' they complained and I deepened him). Another had bit the LMA so hard no air could pass, then had Largyngospasm. Desaturated bad but I got them back.
I was nervous to go back the next day.
I was supposed to have three cases but I ended up with one because the other two cases moved rooms.
What I realized is this is an orthopedic surgery center. Most orthopedic surgeons do not appreciate medical complexity--especially if it can stop a case from moving forward. That explains the little check box. They want the cases done as fast as possible and to get out of there.
The new anesthesia group got the contract by promising speed. And they commented that my old outpatient surgery center their 'fast' wasn't really that 'fast' was it?
Some things are not a good fit. And like dating, you just move on. I didn't expect anything.
But then there was an emergency. They needed me in a little strip mall surgery center. They were starting to do spine cases in a place that usually does plastics. I've worked at places like that before. The first time it was plastics and the scrub tech was suturing (outside the scope of practice) and I got a credit card stolen from my wallet. But they paid me at the end of the case. The second time, same group in a different location, and I never got paid. No matter how much I asked. I ended up threatening small claims court, then I got the check.
It was awkward with the team all of us never having met or worked before together. The neuromonitoring tech was very nice. Even though it was a little scary to be just me there, and no other anesthesiologists, the patients were super nice. And the surgeon made a judgement call that was for patient safety. Would I go back? I don't know. But it was better than the orthopedic place. And from what I hear from my colleagues, they get paid. It's by mail or by Venmo. Time will tell.
There's this thick, juicy space that is between what you have, and what you are going to have next, that is wonderful. Even failure is good because not everything is meant for us! Yesterday and today I am home and I LOVE IT!
Bunny got a nice grooming and bath, I enjoy caring for her. I picked the last apples from the tree. I went to a pizza place for their lunch buffet and the place was filled with Junior High students who went there at the end of the day. They were loud and awkward and running around. They had bought pizza and shared. I would never seen kids this age--mine is too old now. So it was a slice of life adventure and a good salad with some slices of pizza.
It is okay to fail.
Failure is a part of life.
And when something as important as your happiness and work are 'moving around' it is okay to 'take the best and leave the rest'. These things take time. And keep at it. Don't settle. Life is too short. Oddly enough, my hospital gig looks better and better all the time. Newer machines and nicer colleagues. They are getting along much better now than when I left.
I'm switching gears. I believe there is a slow release of certain knowledge about what goes on behind the illusion of how this world is run. My first friend ever, a conservative in Texas, posted a video from a survivor. Another friend from the block, construed the video as 'oh yes that's Bubba' (in reference to another video where a DJT 'blows' someone with the nickname Bubba'). The first friend said if all you can get from that video is Bubba then that is sad for you. She posted a meme that said for a huge portion of the population their whole personality--a big part of it--involves hating DJT.
I took the red pill ages ago. This is nothing new. For me, I just commented one word, frazzz=-llll---odrip.
They won't take the bait I'm sure.
But Roseanne Barr posted a video. She said things are going great and give it a few days. But her head was shaking 'no' the whole time, and she touched her finger to her nose (a clue of lying). I admire her for speaking up the times she has. And I am curious what she is alluding to. I suspect the soft disclosure is what is happening, and it is so soft people do not realize what it actually is.
I saw a video from the deceased VG, the 'unstoppable' thing she set up after her murder as plan B. It was fascinating too.
So, hopefully in a short time, we will arrive at something that has been planned since the early sixties and seventies by the good guys in the military.
God speed. And pray for our world to be liberated from the liars.
That is enough for today.
Ross
How bad is bad?
How awful does evil need to get before everyone notices it?
That is a powerful question.
There is a 'king of this world' who is in charge of it. According to the book of Revelation he is going away for a thousand years, will get a 'brief time out' and then go away forever.
Carla saw a video from a woman who claimed that we are in that 'brief time out'--where the Dark One reigns. She asserts in the video that the stuff in Revelation happened a long time ago.
Which would mean we are closer to full and complete resolution than one might think.
Carla asked someone she trusts, what do you think about this video?
And the person she trusts, said, 'ask Ross' what he thinks.
(he smiles. What a beautiful smile he has--C)
I am at a loss for words.
(he strokes his beard as he is thinking deeply)
What is the best possible outcome that could be had with this opportunity?
C: over and done with it forever, and only Heaven's rules forever, everywhere, always
Carla, how did that change?
C: I understand that Heaven has never lost control, nor will it ever, and that all that conflict is a lie, and that even though there are a bunch of lies, everywhere, and evil everywhere you look--like evil like in the Sodom and Gomorrah levels described evil--it is just a small 'blip' in the grand scheme of things. And even though the 'soft disclosure' and other things are harbingers of what is to come, even that is tiny in comparison to the wonder of Creation. And the wonder of Creation, if we so choose to tap into it, can be with us Here and Now, in our hearts, and nothing can ever take it away or separate us from Source.
R: THAT IS THE answer I would give your friend.
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple who is Happy