More Thoughts and Feelings On My Soul Growth Spurt
Today I am more philosophical than cranky. Perhaps I have progressed to one of the next stages of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of grief? for reference
I want to emphasize that no matter how upset, cranky, or emotional I get, at the same time, there is always a portion of my consciousness watching as an 'independent observer' the whole time. It judges not, but it's always looking for reasons why I am reacting this way, and making connections.
Perhaps you do this also?
A lot of my agony is feeling like I have no place to go with my complaints. They have fallen on 'deaf ears' for so long--clearly!--because nothing has resolved with the state of the world, 'obviously'...
Spirit was trying to talk. I went to the store and as I sat at a stoplight thinking, 'I haven't got a friend in the world' thoughts (One is due to transition soon)--a 444 license plate drives by! (The angels are saying--we are with you!)
You know what I said? I said, 'You're not the kind of friends I would call friends--we can't hang out, and you always are so hard to spend time with! You're so busy!'
But the unraveling of my ire had already begun. My son was watching Bar Rescue. And I saw in the example of the owner who was wanting to give his input to the 'revision'--he had to step back and let the expert do his job. As far as I know, compared to me, Ross and Ashtar are the experts at fixing a screwed up planet. And this planet is majorly screwed up. Majorly!
So I got the message loud and clear to 'butt out'. Even though I still grumbled at them both well into the night.
At the store, I saw the DVD of Anthony's favorite movie, The Kingsmen.
I bought it.
We thought we could watch 'a little' but we were committed to the end--until midnight on a school night, I know...I know...
In the movie was a character named 'Merlin'. There also was a person who was insane and trying to 'Save The World' and 'Save Gaia' by depopulation with the SIM cards on free phone service...with little microchips implanted into people's heads.
I realized there could be much worse technology 'in the mix' now, and decided to 'let the experts do what they are sent to do' and shut up.
When I went to sleep last night, I let Ross know my agony and anguish, that I love him, but I just don't want to think about or talk about these issues. As I slipped into unconsciousness, I saw myself being led down a hallway by Ashtar...I was wherever I go when I am not 'here'.
I woke up telling Ross I REALLY love him--and I also haven't felt much resolution from the situation.
Basically I feel like Ashtar and Ross are choosing the paint and the furniture for a remodel of Gaia...without asking me...and I'm the one who is going to live there! LOL
Well to make things clear, Ashtar came with a message for me. Ashtar said that the one will go and I will stay. I quipped, 'Like a puppy?'
He didn't get the sarcasm, and said an enthusiastic 'yes!' and then caught himself. That's when Ross showed up.
They both asked, 'What can we get for you to help you with this?'
I said, simply, 'A chew toy'.
Ross took matters into his own hands at this point. I calmed down. I also told them that even though they annoy the crap out of me and push me to my limits, my love for both of them is unchanged, and just as strong as ever.
At this they were in shock.
I am becoming more and more galactic by leaps and bounds, even with my 'rough edges', and they are both especially pleased with my ability to self-correct, stay on topic, and to work with my feelings and 'logic' together for the Highest Good.
I had a long talk with a friend, and I am discovering--long story short--that things that 'don't feel good' are some very important 'data points'.
If you are hoping to experience joy, and something 'rubs you the wrong way' and 'irritates you'--by all means, STOP doing it.
Another thing I realized is we all must stand on our own two feet--we are born alone, we die alone, and we Ascend--ALONE. Even if we have Twins. Everyone must 'do the work' they have to do for their spiritual growth. No one, not even a Twin, which is the closest relationship in existence besides with Source--cannot do the work for another. No matter how much there is love between them both.
Namaste.
I must excuse myself. I have twenty small dishes of creme brûlée to make for the International Potluck at the school tomorrow...
Ross wants to say something...
Ross
Carla is my hope, and my love.
I can't 'get between her ears' (gestures to his ears with his index fingers--ed)
No one can.
No one can 'get' inside of you--your perceptions, your life experiences--this could be across many lifetimes and incarnations, your hopes, your dreams, your fears...not even me. (makes the same gesture again--ed)
Carla can't get inside my head. That's an ongoing source of frustration for her too. Why do I act the way I do? I come and I go? I am never really far from her--just between us--but her PERCEPTION is that I am miles and miles away, and somewhere unreachable.
(He drops his head and looks up at you --ed)
Now what am I supposed to do with THAT? you might ask?
(gestures towards his chest with a fist, motion--ed)
It all has to do with the heart.
Carla is RIDING her RIDE that her sum total of all her life experiences is giving her at this time. Not to say goodbye to Isabel, her friend and confidante--but in dealing with all the buried anger that got displaced into hate for herself when Carla was upset at me for all the times I died on her in our past lives. The anger has to come up, and be dealt with. The feeling of impending loss for Isabel is the same as for when I was at my last days--Carla knew it, and Carla felt it, and I was (gestures to his ears again--ed) in my own 'space in my head' and there was NOTHING Carla or ANYONE could have done about it.
A lot of you are dealing with addiction--those near you are into this and doing 'that' illegal and unhealthy recreational activity that isn't 'recreational' any more!
The boundaries are set and sometimes you have to tease them apart when they are blurred...and a little 'fuzzy'...
Carla is going through the steps right now to figure out where 'Carla stops' and Carla 'ends'--in this direction and in that relationship and with me and with Ashtar--much to her annoyance with us--and after her outburst she realizes there is something she can keep--a very deep and lasting connection to us for our mission now with her and 'Lady Gaia'...
Do you understand how confusing and how important this important step of growth in your life experience can be, a sorting through all of them together? An assimilation of sorts?
If you are like Carla it will happen round the clock until she's through. Carla likes to get 'on with it' and 'crank it up will you?!'...your higher self and you are negotiating how you will navigate this chasm, in order to get (arm stretched out like two karate chops--ed) from HERE to THERE (wiggles one hand first and then the other for emphasis--ed).
No one can do the work. No one (gestures to his ears again--ed) can get inside your head but you.
Absolutely no one.
Carla is a 'Hope Giver' and that is why I sent this license plate to her today. She shares from her heart to you, in order to make you feel less disoriented in the whole process of renewing the planet by first starting with yourselves--your hearts, your minds, your souls...
Forever and ever you will have all you wish...and then some!
That is enough for today.
Carla has to go and get Anthony. I will help with the creme brulee after you return. And I want LOTS OF VANILLA in the cream. Carla had to go buy the vanilla beans. She never used them...(rubs his hands together--ed) and ALL of us are in for a treat! (rubs his tummy and smiles--ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins