On Releasing Fears
Dude? Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude....(big sigh)
This one isn't easy to write.
It's embarrassing.
My father raised me to 'face my fears', since I was an anxious child. He really really worked with me. A LOT. I can hold snakes, I'm not afraid of bugs, I like roller coasters, I'm not so keen on stuff like getting my blood drawn or having surgery on myself...but even now with a toe that's got arthritis in it and 'is painful' as my friend the podiatrist said, I will go do the exercises he told me and bend it, even though it's really really painful to do. I ride a motorcycle--a dirt bike. I know how to shoot a gun (dad taught me that too). I enjoy adventure and I like to try new things!
Here is a list of the fears I have encountered in myself during my Awakening:
- fear of abandonment by God
- shame of being separated from God, and guilt and dread to be incarnate and amnestic
- total fear of my Higher Self--thinking she would 'swallow me up' and 'I would not exist'
- jealousy of my past incarnation, and fear she would steal my Twin
- anger at my past incarnation, for her channelings through others, for adding confusion to me and my role in the Ascension process
I also completely accepted the fact I would be alone forever and that I wouldn't meet my Twin until I died...SURPRISE! (I wasn't expecting that I would have a relationship with my Twin who is not incarnate...LOL...but I do and it's really wonderful!)
And healing these things takes TIME! You can't rush it. The things I have felt and done and said! My gosh!!! You see I would feel both anger and desire to avoid certain beings of Spirit--very strongly--sometimes with reason as in the past they had led others astray or caused me in some way, pain.
Here I am thinking 'I love everybody' and yet there are some surgeons I needed to 'accept and allow', for 'love is the solutions for everything'...at least five I have had to forgive and even though they drive me crazy to let go and let them be and to Love Anyway.
I have been through the wringer resolving Ross and my past traumas. It took six months to a year to get over that one. (remember, my soul BOLTED way worse than any 'runaway bride'--one incarnation after the next)...
I've 'patched things up' with Metatron, Thoth (mostly), my Higher Self Sophia (she's surprisingly okay), and my old incarnation (Sophia helped us out on this one.)
Last night I made a bracelet with my old incarnation. She offered. And it was SO difficult! She wasn't telling me what beads to put in what order. She told me to 'put them together and see what feels right and looks pretty'...so I had the beads, and the right number of them. But twice I put it together and it would have been perfect for elastic but she had specified 'clasp' closure with a wire...
I even picked up all the beads and scattered them on the bead board, searching for a pattern. There was no help.
It got late, but I had to finish it.
The final result is more beautiful than anything I have ever made. And the energy is nice too. She told me not to sleep with it, which is unusual. She actually had me take my bracelets off.
I look forward to wearing it today.
The moral of the story is that in my relationship with her--I had 'settled' on being 'kind and polite' and 'not quite friends' in my heart. She could 'do her thing' and 'I could do mine'...
She taught me how working together is important, and my being able to find my way through the challenges of the bracelet-making, with very little guidance from her, builds up the trust I need in myself to counteract the jealousy...
These are VERY deep, hard-wired in fears in the soul...fears of survival as a soul...everyone has them.
This is HER energy, and if you look closely at the center, it makes a letter 'M' with light.
Sometimes when you do this healing, you are 'selective'. I had forgotten I had 'patched things up' with Sananda too.
He had sent me this image, a magnet on a locker...
So--I wish you luck and patience with yourself on this last phase of the Awakening process!
The Gossips In The Breast Case
This has nothing to do with anatomy. It has everything to do with the people in the room, their energy, and their level of spiritual development. During the conversation, I took notes!
Here are the topics:
- one percent of all adoptions are 're-homed', typically due to violent, sexual, or violent-sexual behavior in the adopted child. The family can't cope when the child kills the pet or molests their other children. But out of the RE-adoptions, there is a very high success rate. Why is this? My surgeon wanted to discuss this topic, and said, for example, there was a 're-home' mother who was seventy, had an autistic daughter and was used to abnormal behavior (she had 'seen everything') and knew what to do.
- in ten percent of all couples with children, the father in the relationship is not the actually paternity of the child. And the mother has reason to know this. What happens is when there is a cancer diagnosis in the family, people want to make sure about the DNA risk. So analysis is done on the DNA. Well, for example, if you have Greek parents, which Greek DNA is clearly visible to some researchers, but you end up with half Scandinavian DNA patterns, then it is highly doubtful that the Greek 'father' is the actually biological father. This puts the cancer doctors in a bind--do you tell the family the truth? How do you support the family? Some fathers, due to anger and betrayal, break off all contact with the child they have raised for thirty years...These tests cost around ninety-nine dollars too, where you can send them in for 'ancestry' analysis in our popular culture too. It's a dilemma.
- My surgeon likes volleyball because the other team is on the other side of the net. She played basketball and water polo growing up. She refuses to let her daughter play these sports now because the children are routinely coached to hurt the other players. The entire room piped up about how children are so competitive and without conscience. (I suspect the 'programming' made for children leads to disrespect of authority, and also the 'video gaming' creates a false sense of being 'above recourse' when it comes to hurting others.)
- There is a book recommended by my surgeon, 'Little Girls Can Be Mean'. It has scenarios and real stories of the complex and constantly shifting social/power alliances of young girls, and how they hurt each other, so you can help the child to best navigate them. 'Let them figure it out' is actually no longer wise, as some 'Mean' girls are highly successful at manipulating the system to torment another, and when that person acts out, gets them in trouble for 'being mean to them'.
- We discussed Landmark (new versions of EST and Summit) 'self-help' that isn't exactly 'spiritual', to know what it is, and what they do. Apparently a mom of the Brownie troop drops a lot of suggestions on how to work with the girls that are 'Landmark'-based. The nine and ten year old girls have 'changed'--the surgeon who has worked with her daughter's troop and leads it is finding that they are more difficult to work with, and disrespectful of her. (again, the 'programming' on children's entertainment always has inept or absent adults...so ten years of watching this has an 'effect' on the child, I think.)
- The surgical technologist, a traveler from another local hospital--the fancy one--brought up Love and Logic, a method of parenting. Many of the successful re-home adoptive parents are using this approach. She herself only agrees with parts, but not all of this philosophy. (you can't warn you child of consequences or intervene. you let them learn it on their own)
- The tech also brought up MGTOW, the movement called 'Men Going Their Own Way'. These men refuse to marry or support a woman. There's youtube videos on it. (I wouldn't want to watch them, myself)...we talked of how these men enter relationship saying I am a MGTOW...with no excuses. And how George Clooney was a huge MGTOW but got married. I brought up the new concept of a 'nurse or a purse', much to the amusement of my surgeon who had never heard of the term (we are both single moms). In my opinion, when I was on social websites after my second divorce, I was 'matched' with men at least twenty years older than me. And in these circles, the men typically WANT something--someone to care for them (travel--health, etc) or to support them. Or BOTH! LOL
This type of conversation would not have been possible in the Operating Room even five years ago.
People are waking up. They are thinking...by the way, this beautiful surgeon gives every single one of her cancer patients a free copy of Buddha Boot Camp...she is so caring and loving for those who come to her for their care. And she's excellent too! Internationally known for her life-saving work!
Just another day...
Ross
Carla is taking Anthony to the doctor.
I helped with her schedule.
This is why--her comments to a very close friend--about the situation. She had asked EVERYBODY to trade with her, sacrificed a day of work with a colleague who eventually did trade, and informed her boss of the reasons behind the trade. He said, 'we will play it by ear' and Carla, without skipping a beat, totally professional said, 'I already had to reschedule my son's appointment last Wednesday (she should have gone home at two and had to stay until six). My surgeon is very kind and understanding of the situation.'
Carla let it go.
And said this to her friend:
Please Jesus save me from this heartache and hell of not being able to help our boy when he is not well.
Please honey.
Please.
I listened.
At five-thirty last night, her boss, after a computer meeting, told her she would be able to go to the appointment, much to her relief.
(He had asked her if she is going on vacation earlier. Carla didn't think anything of it, and she said, 'no, I don't go until June but I stay here to help with the computer project'. Apparently some are trying to go on Spring Break, and would pull a trick like that to get free of the hospital and make their flight...sad, isn't it? )
We are here to change this. We are here to change everything about how society is, and to base it on love, mutual respect, and reality.
Carla made a big step in overcoming her distrust of her former incarnation.
Another lightworker got a head necklace of Gold from Ashtar's treasure chest. It helps to align the Higher Self with all the rest of the soul, its aspects, incarnations, and soul fragments...she is sharing this gift with the world. You can see how it is working with Carla.
Her cousin, got a ring, from that same treasure box. Into it we have put both the Golden Christ Consciousness and the Seal of Solomon in one. He can use it now, just like Carla.
Carla herself got the timeline splicer.
What did you get?
Will you find out?
Are you going to use it for the Highest Good?
And will you share it with the world?
These gifts are that powerful!
And so are you.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
'in love'