Very Loving
I didn't write about this part with Archangel Raziel yesterday. It wasn't until Archangel Lauren, who is an incarnation of Archangel Ariel, mentioned to me that Raziel commented on how we two--Lauren and myself--are so very 'loving and and wise and quick to understand' and it had to kind of work its way through my subconscious.
Loving? Loving?
Then I remembered. I cried a lot with Raziel when I first met him yesterday. I cried because I need to tell people I love them. And here he is, someone I never knew who existed because of the veil of forgetfulness in 3D, who is someone I LOVE and all this time has passed and I never even once had the opportunity to say anything about how much I care about him...and for ALL those other people who are my Star Family who I never knew were related--the same thing for them too!!!
I was inconsolable.
He said, 'they KNOW! they KNOW! they know YOU and they LOVE YOU! and they UNDERSTAND...'
But I said, 'I didn't have the chance to tell all these people I care about--that I love them because I didn't even know they were THERE!!!' and cried harder...
Ross showed up, and somehow they adjusted something with my energy, and soon I was content and calm again. I knew I had made my point. It was heard. And we moved on with the conversation.
I think this is going to be a real big deal when the Ground Crew awakens, and realizes that the amnesia they took on willingly in order to complete their missions, has a price in tears. For what's joyful to one, at the reunion of the Star Family, can be sorrow over 'what could have been' for another. I think this is because we don't see The Whole Picture yet, only parts, as the Illusion is falling apart with chunks here and there but not the whole thing. And I think it's important to communicate as such.
Communicating Fear
Today I went in the garden even though it was over ninety degrees. The chard had almost melted to the ground, and I emergency watered all the plants. I gave reiki to the chard (aim at the roots) and I also did the Margaret Mc Cormick Divine Peace Healing 'command' to point to them and say 'Change It' so spirit would know I wanted them healed. They did perk up, I checked on them tonight...
Anyhow, Ross said I didn't have to go into the sunshine to get the aura-clearing effects. I was fine on the porch swing. But gung-ho Lightworker that I am, I went and sat cross legged in the grass in the back yard in the heat to get direct sunlight on me.
My peace was disrupted when I heard a bark. I was eye to eye about three paces with a boxer or pit bull. The dog was not on a leash, and the owner, five paces away from the dog, had a frisbee in hand.
The dog looked at me, began to bark, and when I went to stand up, came closer to me.
Please take your dog. I'm scared of it.
I stood like a rabbit as I waited for the man to come take the dog. He introduced himself as Cameron, and shook my hand. His hand was rough from hard work. I could tell he was sorry, by his aura. I said, I'm Carla, and this is my garden that I grow. And we both smiled.
When I went back inside, I realized, 'that's how it's supposed to work!' No anger. No accusations. Just communication in real time, hearts open, and acceptance that they weren't trying to do anything more than play. It just was unexpected to run into each other like that. And we are still friendly neighbors now too.
Counseling
For the first time ever, I shared with my son's counselor (I have to go once a week too, so she can help him best--I give the adult version of his life's concerns to her)...anyway I shared with her that life with his father is a nightmare I never know will end.
Those were powerful words. She asked more, about how? I explained politely that I have to always be careful what I say. I can't make a request and have him honor it, even if it is something I think is in the best interest of our son. It's like he wants his own world with him, with all his own rules, and own everything, with no phone contact allowed to me, when our son is at his dad's house.
I looked at her, quizzically, and asked, 'why can't he see that we are our son's world? And it is better for it to be consistent in both? The boy is pre-diabetic, and the father is in denial. I am a doctor, and I know what these labs mean. He won't listen! He feeds him pizza and pasta or else he starves him. There is no milk in the house. What kind of father is that?!'
And I experienced the tremendous power of being understood.
In this she now is able to help both of us. It feels REALLY good to get this off my heart, and out into the air.
Ho'Oponopono
Today I did the biggest thing I have ever done. I came clean on a lie I have had on my heart for nine years. I wrote to our son's paternal grandmother, whom I am close with, probably closer than my own mom.
It was the hardest letter I ever wrote.
I shared how the lawyer wouldn't let me give her the clay imprints we had made together for her mothers day, present from me, when my boy was only two months old. It had been a day of peace, where we were both trying to establish a relationship as family even though the father and I were not together. It was hard because my ex confessed to me, that over a lunch at Hof's Hut, his mother had once advised him to break up with me because of my age. He needed to have a chance to have a family, and I was forty. She was only looking out for him. But he didn't want to break up with me. He loved me very much, and shared how happy he was to be with me.
Well he left. And we two women were picking up the pieces and making the best of it. She wanted the art I had being made for her to match her new bedroom remodel, and looked forward to hanging it on the wall as her treasure.
I shared in this letter that I wrote today that not only was their lawyer the former law partner of my firm of two lawyers, but she also used to BABYSIT for one of my lawyers! I told her I lied and said her clay art with the baby prints broke, but it had been in my house all this time, and I couldn't live another day with this lie.
I also told her that my lawyer asked me to write prescriptions for sleeping pills, Lunesta, for her the whole time I was her client, and out of fear for the well-being of the baby in the lawsuit, I did what she asked. I did a quick exam on her, and kept records, just to make it official enough. But it was not right of her to put me in that position like she did.
I looked through the old box, saw the clay art, and wondered why there was white cord to hand the decoration, when she had ordered black, and why it was round instead of square?
Then I remembered--I had so much fear at the discovery of my lie, that I threw away her gift back when I got the notice I was being sued by the father. This one was mine. The extra one I bought for me, with the hand and the foot. The one on my wall has both feet. I hope she doesn't remember, and just thinks it is the one we ordered for her. I filled out the sticker for the back with the birth date and time and weight and length. She wasn't there for it. I didn't want the father anywhere around at the time.
I gave birth like an animal in hiding, fearing for her life, because the father felt he had a right to be there at the birth, in the delivery room, even though he was no longer romantically involved or even friends with me. I couldn't have done that. I told him firmly, that as long as the child was inside my body, and I was working to get it out, only boyfriends could be present. People who are supportive tof me. And not him the way he was. I asked him for that privacy during my pain and my labor. He wouldn't give it. He actually called all the hospitals in the area, trying to hunt me down. Fortunately, my privacy at the hospital was respected, and I gave birth in peace.
When it comes right down to it, I am so thankful to have this beautiful woman in my life, who loves her grandson as much as I do...and the lessons of forgiveness I have learned from her, just in putting the lawsuit behind us, are so valuable to my development as a soul.
It is not worth it to have that art in my home, not even on display. It is not helping anybody.
Being so afraid you do stupid things to cover up your tracks is really not something you want to have on your vibration. It is clear now, and day after tomorrow, I plan to give this beautiful gift to her, as a gift to show we have put the past behind us, and really are family now.
Quackery
I recently got added to a list on Twitter under a term like this. I was in good company--I saw posts from many physicians and healers I admire--only to be ridiculed by this individual who made the list.
It hurt.
I gave thanks in my heart for this person having done it. I wanted to see how I come across, not just to those who enjoy my work, but to others who might not 'get it' too.
I followed her --I pressed the 'follow' button to be able to see the feed. I like to keep my finger on the pulse so to speak, to know what is going on with people like her.
So I was waiting for my boy at the counselor for his hour, and I went into meditation. I found her. I waved. (I can go on a soul level and talk with the living--at least their higher self--much like I do with my mediumship).
I sat cross-legged on the ground near her. I showed her my hands--they were empty, and I wasn't going to hurt her.
She had a lot of questions, and was very defensive, frankly, rude and hurtful to me. I started to cry as my Love and Kindness was not 'reaching her' the way I had hoped it would do. Ross stepped in, and he had a serious look on his face.
She recognized him, stepped back in shock and fear, and asked, 'Am I dying?!'
He said no. He explained I was his wife, and that I have been trying to work on a project to raise the vibration on Gaia surface. Then we asked about her experience with her disease, and the cure? We saw and felt the emotions in addition to the physical post-surgical change. Ross politely showed her what her body would look like in 5D. Everything back, normal and healthy, actually, looking a little younger too.
She couldn't believe it! She was overcome with happiness to see her body whole, as if nothing had happened.
Ross explained to her that I am trying to raise the vibrations enough, so that everyone will experience the health benefits of the higher dimensions, where there is no aging or disease and everyone enjoys perfect health. But with her work she is doing on the website, it is lowering the vibration so much that is it making my work a little more difficult for me to do. Would she mind thinking about it, her actions, and how they affect others, please?
She listened.
I came back and gave her a flower lei, in spirit. I told her I am not angry that she made me cry, she can make me cry again, if she needs to, I would never get back at her in any way. That I accept her as she is, in her development, and if she wants to make the going rough for me, I will keep at it, and I am confident I can overcome the negativity like hers too, So keep learning your lessons and exercising your Free Will I said from my heart.
Ross says she will have a change of heart and become a strong worker for good, to give it time. Sometimes those most opposed to change are the ones who could benefit from them the most.
Ross
There are a lot of lessons in this article. I want you to digest them slowly. Take what you can, and go over it often. I would bookmark this page, and go back to it several times. There is a lot in it that is good for you, in the heart (he taps his heart).
I want you to be heart-centered now in all that you do. It is the only way to the energy of 5D, the healing that shall take place is going to astound you...but only if you make it a priority to raise your vibration higher (shows hand gesture) as much as you can. Commit to this process. It doesn't have to be 'cram for a final exam' like in high school or college. Just commit to getting rid of the things energetically you don't need any more (like Carla with her lie to the grandmother), to avoiding that which lowers the vibration, and doing more activities to raise it up (like Carla in the sun for about ten minutes, grounding on Gaia and sunning her chakras at one time).
I love you. I love each and every one of you in my heart. You are beautiful and perfect and special. I can to this, because I have the love of unconditional acceptance and belief in YOU, my Beloved Ones, my brothers and sisters, who are on this journey, our adventure, with me and with my twin soul Carla.
Together we shall make it UP! (points to the sky)
I shall sign off for now, for Carla is sleepy. It really is a tremendous service that she does for those who align with her energy.
Aloha and mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
The Reiki Doc Twins, Ross and Carla (honey you don't mind that I used that name for myself too?)
of course not, Ross. I rather like it!