Ross has invited me to write today to share about his gentleness and kindness. With his input I will share about our initial meeting, about his encouragement of my feminine side, and his continuing gentle nature in our relationship as it stands.
For those of you who perhaps have not read about Ross and our relationship, we are Illuminated Twin Flames who are reunited across the Veil of Illusion. He is in one dimension, I am in another. Through mediumship, which is my gift, my psychic gift I have had my whole life, we interact on a daily basis with each other. We are close, and very much alike, yet in some ways vastly different. We will let you decide if we are more alike, or more different from one another, as time goes by....
Our Formal Introduction:
It was either late November, or early December, of 2013, when I 'figured out' his face. Until that time, he had been a Presence. Since summer of 2012I could see the body, the uniform, the hair, but the face had been blurred out from my vision of my third eye. I would ask him for help, and energy would rain down, if I was in trouble. I knew his name was Ross, and that we had a home and two kids in another dimension somewhere. I could see the house and the look of pain in the kids eyes as I didn't know who they were. 'It's the amnesia' I would explain, apologizing.
Ross and I interacted before, but not in a regular way.
Once I saw his face, I knew who he was exactly. I find him devastatingly handsome! He has a beard like most Ascended Masters. His eyes are deep blue and blue grey, and are very expressive. His smile is a megawatt gorgeous movie star smile, and it makes me melt! He is over six feet tall, medium to lean in build, intelligent, and gentle and kind.
When this happened, and when I accepted him as my Twin, Ross was unable to function at his work. Ashtar took me aside, and said, I give you three days with him. He needs you. You know what to do.
Ross cried. His shoulders shook as I held him. I had no idea why he was so emotional. I just felt he was having a moment, well, actually, a day, and I stayed with him. I held him. We talked. We kissed. We enjoyed our togetherness after many lifetimes apart. We spoke of our childhood--I am the only one who calls him Ross! LOL--it's my childhood name for him. We assured each other we would be there for each other in every way. When I was at work, he was There. And when I was at home, he would watch me interact with my chores and my son. If I had downtime, I would lay on the couch and mentally 'speak' with him.
Things affect him much more than they do myself. I have seen everything at the hospital. I am strong. I am a single mom. I have to survive! I don't have time to process emotions!
(On the day my beloved nana Angelina died, she passed at six p.m. and I was back in the hospital on OB at eight p.m. to complete the rest of my shift! It isn't healthy--not in the least--but it is the lifestyle that accompanies my profession. I was back at work the next day, and did not grieve until about a week after when I had some time off.)
Ross Encourages The Feminine In Me:
He told me once I can ask him anything, even what color pair of pants to wear when I am putting together my clothes for the day.
No question is too small for him!
So when he told me I needed to get a pedicure and a manicure, I laughed! I'm like, Miss Holistic Berkeley Graduate, you know, 'totally granola'? I hadn't painted anything in years.
But he said, 'You are mine. I want you to enjoy being a woman. Why not go just this one time?'
(I am also VERY ticklish in my feet, so often I don't really enjoy it, having someone work on me.)
I went, and I met a wonderful woman, who somehow managed to put the polish on in such a way that it doesn't chip. And the tickling was the most tolerable it has ever been for me, ever. I could bear it.
I felt WONDERFUL.
What do you know? Ross was right!
He has shown me things he thought I might enjoy--always giving me the chance to say, NO I don't want them--a beautiful silver mermaid necklace, matching earrings, bracelets, makeup, even 'foundations' (an old-fashioned word for undergarments), really pretty socks that sparkle, all at a reasonable price. Almost everything has been from Target. And to cover the expensive ones, where he said he would pay for it, like two days later I got these checks from some old business deal or another, out of the blue, to cover it. It was just the right exact amount.
Ross is gentle enough to encourage me to relax into his masculinity. He is secure enough in it to encourage me to venture out of my comfort zone, and enjoy being feminine. Most guys don't have a clue about that.
Ross does. And it is very nice!
His Kindness To Me:
Mind you, there are some issues after that first meeting that came up. I didn't turn spiteful, hostile, angry, and full of rage at Ross for nothing. I had good reason to stay bitter and want to avoid any interaction with him at all costs. These are things that happened when we were married in our last incarnation. Most women in my position would have been upset at Ross for his choices back then, too.
He promised me many things. Not only was he sorry, and it wouldn't happen again. He said he would always take out the garbage when we were in the same dimension. He would help fix things around the house. I wouldn't have to lift heavy things any more...
But it wasn't until one day I was at Target. On the clearance rack was a really nice rolling pin, not the kind with handles. It was the baker's kind that is all one long tapered rod of wood. I held it in my hand, interested in it, and looked at the price tag to see if I could afford it.
You can hit me with that if you want...
It was Ross, offering to be like Ricky to my Lucy, like the Honeymooners, like all those old shows where if the women were angry they could hit the man over the head with the frying pan or the rolling pin, and everything would be okay between the two again.
My heart melted. I knew that he meant it. And I would never, ever hit him with it. It made me know he understood how I felt, how frustrated and angry I had been over his secrets. He has not one, but two. I have only shared publicly the one. The second involves another, and is best kept between us.
All is forgiven, now, for everything. On that.
I slapped him the night before last, though.
I was put through a psychological test for 'great disappointment'--he told me that is what it was, and that I had passed with flying colors. He whispered, because he was proud of me, and I wasn't supposed to know. (I had been through some very challenging and difficult experiences recently)
'How CRUEL!' and I slapped him on the face, just like in the movies, with the message, 'don't ever do that to me again!'
He looked at me with surprise, and sadness, and the recognition that yes, it wasn't right at all to test me with no warning and take me to such extreme distress in the name of a 'test'.
I was outvoted. he said, simply.
All of a sudden I understood, because he knows me well, he had anticipated my reaction, and stood up for me, but the council had outvoted him on the plan. They had desired to see how a person who has my vibration (it is high) reacts now to extreme disappointment.
My reaction? I trusted and moved closer to Ross. Until I found out it wasn't just a usual struggle but in fact had been deliberate, and a test. I made it unmistakably clear how I felt about that.
But then after I knew his side of things, I rubbed his face and kissed him and apologized and gave a tearful ho'oponopono to him, to the council, to Ashtar (yes, he got slapped too, and I'm not the kind to get upset like that--I don't hit my son, or anybody--but with the Galactics treating me like a lab rat that was way over the line).
Ross and Ashtar are usually together, except the times that Ross is actually alone with me. Ashtar had told me the results of the test too.
Both Ashtar and Ross apologized. They immediately saw how it came across as uncaring, cold, and clinical to 'test' someone psychologically like that without their consent to participate in a test. They assured me there would be no tests of this kind on anyone, ever, without a fair treatment of the subject who agrees to the conditions of the test. They said, and they meant it, that they are still learning, and that day I was the teacher for them both.
Galactics and Ascended Masters are different. They have patience, they always expect the best of you, they encourage you no matter how dire the present situation, and they have feelings. Although they are not perfect, they acknowledge their shortcomings and are more sincere than anybody I have ever met in wanting to grow and to correct their behavior.
I look forward to spending time with Ross. Because of his gentleness, I am healing on a very deep, soul level, in my heart.
By his example I strive now to grow in gentleness as well.
I am thankful because it also brings out the love and gratitude for all that is in this Now moment, too.
Thank you Ross. I love you very much. You are my beloved, and I wouldn't want it to be any other way, than me and you.
I hope I discussed this topic fairly, and to your liking, honey.
Have a beautiful day.
Peace.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Reiki Doc