Today Ross invited me to spend some time with him. I did.
For those of you who may not know us, we are reunited Illuminated Twin Souls, who unite across the Veil of Illusion. I am incarnated and present in 3D. He is in a higher dimension, and is Galactic. He is also an Ascended Master.
I too have Ascended. I have been given the title Our Lady Of Hope by, well, from where I come from, my home dimension. I also have been given a Ray. What lesson did I master? The lesson on Loss.
Tomorrow (well, today in some parts of the world) marks the closing of a window of wonderful opportunity to clear out any negative energies or experiences that have been holding you back.
This is a story of our clearing something that is huge, not just for both of us, but for all who love and have experienced betrayal. Ross asks me to share this with you as part of his amend towards me to win back my eternal trust and my Love.
Our time started smoothly enough. We talked about old scars--we have reunited since December--and we have much catching up to do. Aside from the obvious ones, Ross has only calloused hands from rough work, and never has broken a bone or had a serious wound until, well, what killed him.
He let me see a memory like a movie, of me giving birth to our first child. I saw the pregnancy, his kissing my belly and talking with love to the child every day...I broke tradition and requested he be present at the birth, which was granted. The girl child came up screaming on my chest, and after that, she went to her father's arms. The look of delight on his face was unforgettable. As he says, 'That day I had two of you, a small one, and yourself...I was joyful beyond my wildest dreams!'
We basked in the glow of the memory of being new parents. Her name was Sarah Alexandra. I don't recall our last name, or if we had one.
Then I asked about the second child, the boy...???
Ross grew quiet.
I saw the truth, like a movie...
As I gave birth, the child was quiet and not allowed to cry. They took it to the next room where a wet nurse was waiting. The boy child latched on, and the two of them were taken away.
I was told the child was stillborn.
I screamed in agony and asked to see the child!
They never let me see it.
They never had a funeral.
I was told to 'get over it'.
I was never the same.
My mother's heart was shattered.
Intuitive as I am, I knew something was up but could not pinpoint what was happening. I knew my boy LIVED! It was a LIE! A LIE!
Why won't they let me have the child???
Ross was political. A leader. Just like now, right up in space. And there were signs of trouble. His life was in danger, as was my own.
It was thought that our lineage would be better off if it was split. That way one child or the other would survive, much like in the movie Star Wars with the twins Luke and Leia.
Ross conspired against me. Our first son was taken away. I never laid eyes on our boy, our Benjamin, the one who haunted me in my dreams, crying out for me with wails of sorrow...
And now Ross confessed.
I was in shock!
At that moment, in spirit, my mother-in-law, BM, came to me. She looked me in the eye. I trust her. And she said, 'I did not know what was planned. If I did, I would NEVER have allowed it!'
What happened to us?
Could I forgive him, he asked?
Yes, I still love him, but I need time to process this on my own. I will get back to you, I said...
BM came back to me with another surprise: in our marriage, Ross and I had one more child, but it was lost in a miscarriage before either one of us ever knew.
That soul is here with me incarnated today.
The decision was for me to be without a partner to raise the child on my own to 'make it right' for me. This explains the conception, too. (another blog post about that--the face of my partner changed to a luminous face of another who looked in my eyes...)
Ross said that is why he watched me closely in every incarnation ever since, to make sure I was all right.
That's when I started to cry...
Simply, I looked at him, and asked, Why didn't you trust the Goddess? Why didn't you trust me with our son? Our flesh and blood?
Ross looked at me, and said, It was IMPORTANT!
I said nothing. I looked at him.
We both saw the role FEAR had made in that decision.
Can I spend the night at your house tonight? he asked excitedly. The two really are the best of friends.
At once, both mothers said, 'No! It's a school night!' and laughed.
But when it was time to go, after a few minutes of catching up, the friend sneaked into the car, like a stowaway!
I smiled! I had planned on going to our favorite pizza parlor because Ross has suggested it last night as we planned my day while I was falling asleep.
I asked, How would you like to join us for dinner? His mom said, 'Bring a jacket!' And off we were, the three of us in the car. So much laughter. So much joy! So much life!
All the while, this song was playing:
Hurt by Johnny Cash
And I felt Ross' energy signature, apologizing to my heart.
The pizza was fun. The boys watched three different sporting events and ate a lovely cheese pizza all to themselves! I had the Provence. I love France and all things French. It always makes me feel better...
On the way to drop off the friend back home, I saw this license plate: BEE JOY
Then the boys were being gorillas and laughing and I was happy to have this new unexpected addition to the night's plans...
This song played:
Song 2 by Blur
It was followed by this one:
Around the World by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Then this as we pulled into the garage:
What I've Done by Linkin Park
Ross's energy signature was in all three songs...again...I could feel his pain, his repentance, his regret...
I forgive him.
I always would have.
Where else could I find Peace?
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
P.S. My boy looks over my shoulder while I write. Usually when I put in the music.
He asked about the story. He wanted to know the truth. I told him about my loss in that life, and also about what might concern him.
He wanted to light a candle.
We lit one together, just for Ross...It's white. I know the picture on it. It is good.
Everything is okay.