That's my Lesson.
It's what it took to get me where I am today. Good for my soul, in the long term, good for my growth. But in the short term, it isn't pleasant. The lessons are relentless, and they never let up.
It was really hard on me to know I was in fertility treatments with my husband and work on Obstetrics. It was like watching others have 'my dream' and all I could do was watch them enjoy it.
One day, after the divorce, I decided, well, it really couldn't hurt to be happy for them. Just because for me things didn't work out right, doesn't mean a beautiful thing can't happen to them...
I became joyful with them, and realized what a beautiful moment my 'former attitude' had me 'missing out'.
A short time after that, I was carrying my own baby. Unmarried. I quickly learned that being pregnant does not in any way 'mean' that 'you are loved'.
I laugh now, quietly to myself, with wisdom. No matter how hard I tried, it never worked out for me.
Why is it that the exact same experiences you need to accelerate your spiritual growth and development are the ones that are most unpleasant and you really don't want to live through?
If you are going through some difficult times, remember that in Spirit everyone has a Purpose, but they also have a Lesson that is combined with that Purpose, for example, Sylvia Browne is a 'Humanitarian-Loner'. She can't get the relationship thing right, either. Three marriages, and then she just gave up. But her psychic gifts have helped people all over Gaia! These life Lessons can be paying off Karma or an agreement that was made before birth for the overall growth and benefit of the soul. So what are they? Besides 'unlucky in love', there is 'health woes', 'financial difficulty', and probably others too but they aren't as common. The one common thing about a Lesson is 'no matter what you do, you can't get it right'. So don't be hard on yourself.
Instead, reach deep down into your I AM presence in the Eternal Moment 'Now', and dream!
I know it sounds emotionally like trying to walk uphill with a sack of rocks strapped to your back, but DO IT!!!
Because of the energies that are New, you have the ability to create or 'manifest' what's on you're mind. Sometimes in the past it used to take twenty years (winning an olympic gold medal). But nowadays things can happen pretty darn quick.
So embrace it, your dream, every single day. Hold on to your loving experience of it, and enjoy the feelings that come up from dreaming it--financial abundance, love and warmth, perfect health and a young body with lots of energy...
I have many dreams. Right now they are seeing whales in Iceland and New Zealand. I also want a organized home, a partner who is good to me, and time to enjoy my family. And yes, I'd like my little garden in the back to thrive, too. Those are my personal dreams.
My professional one is for everyone to know and understand that there is so much more to health than standard medicine, or herbal medicine, or crystals, and that healing is vibrational, and by putting all of the best results together, as well as sifting through all the suppressed healing technologies (cancer has been cured many, many times but kept under wraps by the folks who are in the chemo and radiation businesses...), and creating a wonderful new Life Experience for ALL.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Reiki Doc