He was nervous. Sometimes the surgeon prepares me for the nervous or difficult patient during the case before.
This one had stacks of articles and refused to sign the anesthesia consent without talking to me.
I 'get it'. There was a really bad outcome, in his mind, once and he did not want for it to repeat. That his mental functioning would be so altered that for five days after having anesthesia he would be declared 'dementia' makes a lot of sense. I could see he was pretty sharp as he was talking to me in pre-op.
I listened.
There were a ton of things to do, and a surgeon who was waiting--but I have been in this game long enough to know when it gets like this, you rush the patient, and bad things happen. It is not good for the mojo. Es no bueno.
So in clinical situations like this, I give the illusion of time. You know how a bartender gives the illusion of more alcohol when they do a 'long pour'? It is kind of like that: I relax, I lean on the side rail of the gurney, and I look the patient in the eye. My ears are open, and I listen, with statements here and there to show I am understanding what is being said. The emotions in the patient need to settle when they are undergoing anesthesia the first time again after having had a bad experience. I 'get that'.
After I had carefully studied the paper at the bedside--it was from 2005 and poorly written, with no help whatsoever in selection of the drugs to use for him, I thanked him for the paper and said I would keep it. The disease was pretty fascinating, and there wouldn't be much larger studies in the literature anyhow. It was okay.
The whole time we spoke which was about ten minutes, which is FOREVER in a busy O.R., I was looking at his tattoos on his right forearm.
They were like bracelets stacked up on his arm. I saw a celtic cross near the elbow, and a pentacle not far away. I asked him, 'Did you know that in the center of a celtic cross time stands still?' and touched the tattoo at its center.
He said, 'Do you know where the circle comes from on the celtic cross?'
I didn't
'It is from the 'circle of Morgane' 'and he pointed to the pentacle. 'You know, when they were making the religion before there were priests AND priestesses. Then the early church got rid of the priestesses. If you ask me they are all one big lie. Anyone who knows anything would know God is a WOMAN because of the Carrier of Life. God is a WOMAN!'
I nodded knowingly and muttered under my breath, 'Mind Control'
He laughed and was ready for the procedure.
I watched him close as the work was done. As I gave Reiki, which I always do, I noticed a comforting flow of energy coming back to me. I couldn't understand it.
And then I saw: he was born on the exact same day as my father, who has been deceased for four years next week. Same month. Same date. Same year. No wonder why he had a pisces sign on his 'bracelet'!
If you have ever been 'Daddy's Girl', and lost him, you would understand how wonderful it is to realize he would have been the same age now as this patient. And you would feel as if God 'sent' this person to you to give you a 'sign' that 'everything is going to be okay'. You always miss him.
I miss having someone to talk to that loves me for who I am, and can hear anything I have to say and not change his love for me, no matter what.
His eyes were the same color blue. And his hair the same grey. And the skin just as weathered.
The patient woke up 'clear headed' and was extremely excited to have avoided the 'bad side effect' he had worried about.
I was excited to have had a short 'visit' with 'dad', to feel 'looked after' for a few minutes--energetically, and to make a difference in an anxious soul--dad was a worrier too.
See the car?
I saw it right after the funeral. Dad used to drive one just like it when I was growing up. I used to fall asleep in the far back behind the seat. I fit.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc