Today as I sat in meditation outside the entrance to the hospital, in a beautiful sunlit space, I joined the World Liberation/Return of the Goddess Meditation that is done in my time zone at noon on Sundays.
An entity came to me, and requested Ho'oponopono for not giving me love when My heart sought it from them. I forgave.
Forgiveness is the most powerful gift of all we have to offer to others. It cuts the cord binding us together and in exchange gives us the freedom to go on to learn our next lessons.
I have been doing some deep thinking. I share about my inner world and deepest thoughts, because one day you also with be managing your own growth and spiritual path like this. I was thinking, 'if I want a partner to connect with the Divine, and the Divine isn't sending me anyone--quite the contrary !--why not bypass 'significant other' and connect straight to Source?' It might make me happier.
In medical school I wanted to accomplish this by becoming a nun. I was sick of relationships and broken hearts! No matter how much al anon program I worked, God sent one drunk after the other. Spirit said No with a capital N on my nun plans. So here I am, one step different, as a single mother.
He is very good for me, my boy, and so is being a mom. Yesterday we took a walk around the neighborhood. I am so incredibly blessed he chose me.
On the way in to work, I send Divine Peace Healing, I send three 'batches'. The first, to Countries and Locations. The second, to Groups and Organizations. The last is for me. For example, when guided to help mom, nana, and uncle, resolution to the situation happened in two weeks!
I have had the nerve to be sending my batch to me, my son, and Someone Else. By name. I had the gumption to even call it The Little Family. I did this for Three Months, every day! I had hoped our energies would combine and be mutually supportive. All last week it was Him or Someone Better. And today, just me and my son. I had given up completely on any hope of ever being anything but a single mom. I have paid the price for my 'sin' and accept full responsibility for my actions. I am dead. I am done. I am finished with my heart. Forever.
Blessed Mother popped in. 'Wouldn't you give just a little bit for him(by name)?' Oh, to be not able to close a door is painful! But I obeyed.
What followed is tremendous insight and growth. I forgave him for everything. I forgave him for hating doctors. I forgave all of us for frustration and anger (I am irritable and snap at my son) due to this situation. And I opened the connection to Source for Unconditional Love to flow from all three to everyone that was in need of it...
At work,I got to the cafeteria before closing. Get eggs. But I don't like eggs! The six wrapped breakfast burritos got my attention. Get eggs! I took the burrito. I saw three different kinds of salsa, plus pickled jalapeños. 'Which one is the hottest?' I asked. 'The green one,' replied the worker, 'It will burn your mouth.'
I took all three. The green one I could hardly taste. It lasted about half a burrito. The rest I did red salsa. Given my choice, I would take Pio Pico or Cholula any day!
My life and spiritual path is very much like Green Salsa. I am used to it. It has flavor but in no way sets my mouth on fire.
You will get a taste for salsa like me, too. Give it time. And for all the Higher Dimensions. Everyone in Southern California grows up with Mexican food. It is normal. Soon Spiritual Food and the Higher Dimensions will be like that too.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc