I have been short-tempered recently. This is out of character. It happened night before last in the ER with mom's nurse. The new nurse was coming on shift and I said, 'I hope you like critical care', insinuating that his hours ahead with mom was not going to be easy. His reply was very sarcastic, not in a mean way, but still a very weak attempt at humor. I told him I didn't think this was funny, because my mother was practically dead from sepsis already--in medical terminology--and not to talk that way with me any more.
Yesterday at the bedside I met a patient who boggled my entire Vibration! This one (I can't say if it is male or female) was a typical example of the patient who makes my life a nightmare: obese, difficult airway, with lots of caps in the top front teeth that are at risk of being knocked out, an incomplete workup by the surgeon/guy who 'cleared them' for surgery, a recent cold that started last night (huge risk of bronchospasm in O.R. and possibly my canceling of surgery, depending on my findings on chest exam), pressuring me to do the case no matter what, and asking if I am contracted with their medical group because 'on T.V. they say to ask the anesthesiologist if there is going to be an extra bill'. (The term is R.A.P.E. --often radiologists, anesthesiologists, pathologists, and E.R. docs are not contracted to your insurance and do not accept the 'negotiated contract rates' that are 'usual and customary'. They will be out-of-network, and bill you for the balance of their fee.)
The problem is, surgery has been scheduled months in advance, and at the beside prior to surgery is NOT the place to discuss it. If you are worried, you should call my billing company in advance! The pressure is on me the day of surgery to get you into the O.R. as efficiently as possible.
This patient had sarcasm, too. So did the adult child and the spouse. I was told that was how their family 'expresses their love'. I said plainly, 'I am not feeling the love.' and politely excused myself from their presence after my work was done. What I felt was passive aggressiveness on their part, and a total inability to acknowledge that medically, this case was going to be a challenge, and I had been struggling to get information out of them to make the important plan for the anesthesia for their case.
The part that made me see red was the patient saying, sarcastically, 'I know, I know, I could DIE!'
One thing was clear--I was thankful I could give propofol and not have to listen to 'sarcasm' any more! I was so upset I told my anesthesia tech and my OR team how I just couldn't handle this patient before they were brought into the room!
This patient, also, prior to falling asleep, had the last words before the propofol 'hit' to render them completely unconscious, 'I am role playing in the role of the dutiful patient.' Even THAT was very like a drama teacher and totally out of sync with anything I had ever seen in my career. Controlling and rebellious to the bitter 'end' of their ability to speak! (I must admit, this person was MUCH better AFTER surgery, I checked, and they probably had a bizarre coping mechanism for their fear.)
What does this say about me? I am still working on it. Sometimes when something gets you that worked up, it is because of something you don't like about you. Am I sarcastic? Am I not taking serious things seriously enough? I do a lot of soul searching on myself...and on this one, I wasn't sure if that was 'right'.
And then it hit me: what if it is a Vibrational Difference? What if my Vibration is skewed so far to Ascension that these people's 3D 'vibe' makes me uber uncomfortable?
A huge vibrational difference is going to make both parties involved want to RUN. It is very uncomfortable to 'Lower the Vibration' by being around people 'more three dimensional than you'. This is one reason why Ascended Masters don't just 'walk around' where we can see them. Our 'Density' is uncomfortable for them, vibrationally, and is not pleasant/difficult for them to sustain.
It goes both ways, too. The person on the lower vibration is just as uncomfortable in the presence of the 'higher' vibration soul, too. 'Higher' and 'Lower' are just settings on the frequency rate, not 'better' or 'worse'--as everyone is in their 'school' together at the 'grade level' that is right for them.
I think that is what might have been going on. After the case, I found the family, and smiled and said how everything with their parent had gone well. I had given extra morphine to keep them comfortable, and they were wide awake in the PACU.
Love is stronger than Fear. Would you agree that Sarcasm is often a defense people use when they are afraid? Humor, with a loving heart, often dissolves fear. But humor, from a fear-filled heart, is an entirely different thing, and is often inappropriate to the situation.
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Here is another sign of Ascension in the O.R. : my general surgeon wore a prominent pentacle around his neck. In private, I pointed it out, and said, 'Cool! We should talk sometime!' and shook pinkie fingers with him.
In the O.R., as they were prepping the patient for the case, the R.N. was scrubbing with the clorhexidine prep, pointed to his neck and asked, 'What is THAT?' I forget his answer. But I walked over and said, pointing to each point, 'This is a person! This is the Head, Two Arms, and the Feet. This is okay.'
Remember, Darkness 'tips the star upside down' and two points are on top. That is called a 'pentagram' One point up is 'good'. This is called a 'pentacle'. It represents all five elements--wind, water, earth, fire, and ether, in balance and healthy. Darkness also inverts the cross, and flips the holy Hindu swastika-like sign backwards so it rotates in the wrong direction as a swastika.
Wicca is the religion of the peaceful goddess-worshipping society in the region of Ireland that was wiped out completely by the Illuminati eight thousand years ago. They were slaughtered after teaching their skills at magic to the Illuminati. Magic is their right, not the right of the ones that stole it. Magic is a Fifth-Dimensional ability to Manifest.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc