Keeping My Promise

 

I'm in the middle of change. Not just from the seasons, but also from my life. 

As I work to create a new routine for myself, a daily devotional is part of it. Today, since is was Saturday, I had no time constraints. I have a wonderful Catholic Bible that lets you color in some designs in the margins. I find that the coloring is just as healing as reading the words sometimes, especially now. 

Today I clocked myself. I do a P.R.E.S.S. format daily study, and actually, a lot of that is coloring time. From seven until seven fifty-two I did my study.

I started out in my notebook--you need to write as you study, it is how this P.R.E.S.S. works--with the P--praying to God. And I asked for help in different areas. I was totally honest and wrote many lines, almost a full page. It's not easy for me to ask for help, but with God I can and I do.

Then I opened the Bible randomly, and found a picture to color, and I did. You fill in the words. And I just don't think when I color. I'm calm, and just focus a little on what I am doing. 

After that I read the chapter. It was Tobit 13. It's one of my favorite books in the Bible. I've posted a link to that book before once here, I remember. Anyhow, that's the R is Read.

E is when you think about what is actually happening in the chapter. And in this one it was Tobit giving thanks and praise to God. 

S is when you see how it applies to you, in your life, here and now. The Bible has the ability to carry with it more than one meaning in the words. So I searched deep inside to see how it felt it applied to me, and wrote it. Short writing, just a line really, in my journal.

S is share then, and I figured for the day my energy would be enough of a share because I had studied. My energy would rub off on people I meet.

Well, I thought I was done. I wrote down the end time, and put everything away. Then I felt a nudge.

God wanted me to write down all the things I want to get done before I go to work. Feeding pets, shower, breakfast, exercise, Bible study. I did it and wrote down next to each item how long I would expect it to take. I included my commute. Everything with no rush.

Then I back calculated when I would have to wake up. It was like, three in the morning! Just to get to work on time. And with my Monday later start I could sleep in until four. 

That's when God made me realize how much I need to depend on Him. Because there's no way I could do all that. Not every day. 

It was after that realization that the help came from God. And I wrote it, word for word. Guidance just for me, in my every day life. It felt like time stood still! There was this feeling of connection, of being Home, as we were talking, really, as I was listening and writing everything down.

That's when God asked me to write how long everything took. And surprisingly, the end part, both the writing of the schedule and the 'download'--only added fifteen more minutes time! It felt like much longer. 

So even though I didn't write this right away, this morning, as I had an appointment...I'm writing it now.  God says that this is enough. I sense it was to be an example of how long some things take. Yes, when I did Bible study like this without the coloring, every morning, when I was first taught, the goal was about fifteen minutes total time. But the surprise for me was the bonus time tacked on to the end of today's study, and how incredibly helpful it was. Writing is important. It activates a part of the brain that otherwise doesn't get engaged by passively reading. It also leaves a written record of prayer requests, and you can go back and review or remember things to see how far you have progressed.

Ross wants me to make a special mention to those who have experienced Religious Trauma. Carla is sharing a method that she has found works for her. There is no more meaning to be inferred by her example. Not what is 'right' or 'wrong'.  We are sensitive to what it triggering to some individuals and respect this immensely. However, the ability to be quiet and alone, to study and journal with a written record, and the amount of time needed to take (as well as the coloring!) are the learning points we wish to share with you today. Ross specifies that many of you enjoy writing with the keyboard in this day and age!  Ross says 'it doesn't have the same effect as the writing by hand when it comes to activating the part of the brain which is very healing. The hand and the mind are connected when we are using a pen or pencil, not the keys.' Whether you wish your study to include the Egyptian Book of the Dead, or perhaps instead the Kama Sutra, applying the structure and framework of the P.R.E.S.S. and journaling it will certainly apply. No questions asked! What matters is to find a book that 'talks to your spirit' and has wisdom you can glean from it. 

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Second Guess

 

Regret.

That's something I have been experiencing. 

And I'm not a kind of person to go back on my decisions and wish that I could have changed them.

Presidents are selected, not elected. And the evil that goes on here -- basically everywhere -- is mind-boggling.

Yesterday, I watched a very long montage of footage from a young, newly-escaped and healed Cathy O'Brien talking about what George Bush did to her daughter and what Dick Cheney did to her. 

It was heartbreaking. 

And my regret is that I voted for the guy.  

I don't think either of the presidential options at the time would have been 'wholesome' and 'good'. Cathy describes how George Bush and Bill Clinton, who were friends, were talking about how when the public gets tired of Republicans then Bill would carry out the rest of the NWO agenda as a Democrat. 

Hearing Kathy describe how Kelly, when the president was through with her, a six-year old girl, she couldn't breathe, she had deep lower back pains and abdominal pains, she had fever, and she couldn't walk or move or talk. 

I feel awful.

I feel horrible for being alive on a planet where there is so much evil, everywhere, hidden, some not so hidden, some that easily comes into our homes now in video format...you try so very hard to make choices that are for the highest good of all...and you can't help but fail. 

Where is the link the the video (source? hahahahahaha I hate those reactions, might as well tattoo MSM on their forehead)...it was from a reply to a post on Twitter. 

I don't need to post the 'source'.

Because this blog isn't about what Cathy said.

This blog is about how we feel deep inside when Spirit guides us to discover Truth. I've read Cathy's books (For National Security and TranceFormation ). I've watched hours of her interviews. I follow her on Twitter. I know her story. 

But it wasn't until yesterday, that I felt it in a way that I realized in my own tiny way, I was responsible for their suffering. 

I voted for the guy.

And I feel awful.

Yes, it was a long time ago, yes, I was asleep at the time, yes, I was just a kid, really, and yes, absolutely, the way presidents are 'selected' there's always a candidate that you really wouldn't vote for running against them, it's designed and there's a special name for that candidate in the opposition role. 

I guess you could say I feel bad for Cathy, and bad on top of that for letting myself get hoodwinked. Even though I have studied way more than the average person on all the hidden occult government type stuff. 

This is where we get to explore forgiveness.

God knows all this stuff and God forgives us. As long as we don't make the same mistakes again. And like a good parent, if we mean well and fall down while we are trying, He helps us get back up. 

Cathy doesn't blame us. She knows who the source of the Evil that affected her life is. And she just wants people to KNOW the TRUTH. She wants justice. Cathy is grateful she got her mind back and is able to live by her soul instead of MK Ultra handler instructions. 

But in the quiet, during the soul-searching, we need to forgive ourselves. That one is hard. It takes time. And gentleness. It helps to pray and ask God for forgiveness, and to ask God to bless those who have suffered because of our unknowing. 

Earth is a school. We are here to learn. And some lessons, are painful. Then we get a chance to thank our teachers, such as Kelly and Cathy. Incredible souls. Who have suffered so much.

We have a wonderful example of one who loved us so much he gave his life, and suffered, for us. 

Make things right with Him. 

And with his Father. 

And with your Soul. 

Ross wants me to share a story. Let me look it up. Ralph Lazo story of Japanese Internment as Non Japanese for Solidarity with Friends

Ross wants us to have hope, and to look for the bright stars like Ralph we will see shining along the way.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and  Carla

The Cousins who Kiss

Massive Shifts!

 

This is possibly one of the longest gaps I have ever had while blogging since I started in 2010. Relentlessly I have been pursuing self-development and healing, mainly in the area of nervous system regulation and attachment healing. 

There have been some pretty big breakthroughs!

About a week ago, something inside me 'clicked'.  I realized that no only to I have the ability to recognize bullshit from someone else, but I also discovered the resolve deep within me not to accept bullshit from ANYONE! This is from someone with a strong freeze/fawn response developed in childhood. 

I finally found my voice to call out the bullshit when I see it.

Another big area of growth was by watching videos for children whose mothers are narcissists and they are the daughters. It only took two videos. And I had a huge 'aha!' moment that explained a lot of the odd experiences I had growing up. Oddly enough, I never fawned over my mother. I knew she expected everyone to tell her how great she was. Over everything. And because it was expected I kept my mouth shut. Only when something was genuinely good would I compliment her on it. So in this keeping to 'truth', I became 'competition'. This explains the sibling rivalry (my sister was the 'favored one'). It also explains how at prom (I was an extension of her) prom dress shopping was hurried but kind, but bridal dress shopping she made me cry and I didn't even want to be there. It explains the hurt from renting a tuxedo for my favored sister's boyfriend without asking me, and for letting my dress get messed up before the wedding. There was a pattern. And whenever I spoke up for myself, I was gaslighted and made to think 'it was my hormones' or 'I was the crazy one' and she was 'the victim'.

This gives me peace.

Now I can move one because I understand.

What is ahead of us kind of makes me nervous.

We are in the beginning of the true sorrows talked about in the Bible. Society is truly beginning to fall apart, in some places more than others. With the cost of living steadily increasing we are like the frog in the pot of waters that is set to a slow boil.

It is at this point I would like to remind you that this is a Spiritual War. 

Everything, right down to the popularity of fried foods exposing us to seed oils...is planned to the last detail, with the aim to sicken us and weaken us and deprive us of our birth rights. For some of us, we can live in a cabin near a creek and just detach from the 'world'. But for others, we must fortify ourselves as best as we can with the weapons of Spiritual War (reading the bible, memorizing verses, getting close to Spirit and being able to listen to Creator). It is important to understand that this war is a lot bigger than just us, and that in the end, God wins. So take heart! From what I understand, it's about three and one half years of progressively worse and worse, so when the AC steps out into the public, then, he's the big 'hero'. But that's a lie. And after three and a half years more with him at the helm, then the tides will turn. 

I was watching football the other day. Sunday night, a filled stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. And then again last  night, same stadium, also filled to capacity. Can you imagine what would happen if all those people were demanding justice for the children? I know, right? Instead they cheer for their teams, as is our culture these days (it appeals to what is familiar and 'fair', I don't blame people. Plus they gamble a lot on it.). Whatever it takes to get through these years and these times, do what you can and don't take the mark. That one is not good. Really not good. 

What are my goals, Ross asks?

To listen to the Holy Spirit, and to be able to hear when it's time to escape, if I am to escape, and where to escape to. In the meantime, declutter, and organize my life, and adapt to all the changes as they happen.

And to rest. My body needs it. So to rest as much as I can. 

And to guide and teach  others, not 'formally', but like this, just under the radar, so they will find hope and peace and joy that is beyond all understanding to help them carry on.

He smiles.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Cousins who kiss <3