The Man Of The House Lays Down The Law

 

It was the first day of classes.

The temperature was over one hundred degrees in the shade.

Surprisingly, Ross had some very strong concerns for us, and we honored his wishes:

• no beach
• no TV of any kind
• Carla had to do the dishes and also move her work items into her new tote bag
• Anthony had to study and go to bed early
• Carla needed to be present and listen to Anthony 

It's amazing the things that happened.

I made dinner using the beautiful cauliflower she's wanted to use for a week. We had it with rice and naan.  As Anthony said, 'it wasn't bad'.

I read the history of my town. I was surprised both President Reagan and President Ford came to help with certain ceremonies to open something new or celebrate a ten-year anniversary. I had been looking for the original sales information for our housing tract. Each home has a name for its 'model' and I wanted to know ours.

I watered the garden.

I cleared a little of the clutter. SARK turned me on to something called 'micro movements'.  I've needed to clean my bathroom and missed a few Mondays. So two nights ago, I only cleaned the sink. On the inside. That was it. But last night, I charged my clarisonic, and then sorted through a few of the piles, and even dumped the trash. As I took the bag to Anthony's bathroom, I dumped it too, and hung up new hand towels. He had been making do with paper towels. 

Ross was very clear. He wanted Anthony to get work done, not to escape it and stay up late. And also, he wanted me to be totally PRESENT. And I was. 

I'd call it a Presence Precedent!

He said we would find out the news about the debate later. He absolutely refused for us to put our energy/focus/attention into it. He was firm. And we listened. It would have been easy to watch, or to play 'the drinking game'  that people made with it (c'mon man! is a sip, etc), or whatever. To be a 'part of the crowd'.

That was not to be.

How do I feel about it?

It feels wonderful. In his wisdom, he let us have boundaries. For our benefit. And I'm glad for this.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Acceptance Is Key

 

I went to the beach again. <3

This time we saw a boat that had beached itself on the shore. Local and State police were in on the situation. Eventually as the tide came in the boat was freed and able to go back to the ocean. 

On Instagram I've been posting helicopters and rescue vehicles patrolling the shores. Now there is one more for my 'collection'. 

On the way home, I was thinking about my old home, and how I hardly ever think about it. It's maybe a mile away from the current one. I hadn't wanted to leave it because I had felt God helped me to find it. How could I let go of that?

But I did, and even though the change is irreversible (I can never get the old home back), I was surprised to notice that I am indeed okay with it.

Same with mom.

I miss her. Really I do. And I can never get her back in this lifetime, while I am incarnate.

But it happened and I accept it. I even have the courage to go forward with everything else that needs to be done for her belongings and home. It won't be easy. But I can do it.

Because we were so close, and because my grieving for him was unfinished, mother's death brought up feelings from Ross' passing so many years ago. It had imprinted on my soul deeply. 

The complaints and words I had to describe my mother, were the exact same words I had dared not to utter over Ross for thousands and thousands of years as a conscious soul. 

He was nicer to others than he was to me.

He was crazy. I couldn't understand him. And it made life with him miserable!

It's true.

Think about someone on a 'mission from God'.

That is their first and foremost goal, it's what's on their mind, not their family and loved ones. They LOVE their loved ones. Actually it was his love for me that kept him going. But he was on Earth more for others than for his family. 

Fortunately, the session with Creator and the Theta Healing helped me to align with the strongest force that erases confusion of the soul, and in 'healing mom' (which is what I consciously thought I was doing), I 'healed Ross' too, on an unconscious level.

It feels good.

And here is a new Gaia Portal.

Ross wants me to talk about the shadow banning. It's real. Both FB and Insta will not let me post anything linking to this blog. It has been this way for one to two years now. 

Recently someone wanted to give a donation in exchange for a bracelet, and PayPal is taking three days to 'investigate'. They only told me it's 'pending', but I was told what they told the person who sent it.  I don't know how to explain to PayPal that in addition to selling bracelets, I also have a holiday giveaway where our community contributes for materials and postage. It's just what we do and it doesn't fit any business model I know, lol.

I also want to add this recent Ben Fulford. Remember the best lies have a lot of truth mixed in with them. So even though he may be controlled opposition--rumored as such--with Discernment--this article is actually very encouraging if even half of it is true. You've been working hard, and apparently, the US military has been too. For the highest good. (Don't read the link if you haven't been red-pilled though. Seriously. It's red-pill instant if you do.)

Ross

I want to share how proud I am of Carla and her developments. She traded away a day of excellent pay, just gave it, in order to be home with Anthony and prepare him for his back to school which happens to be today. It was a school holiday.

They went out for three meals, and also to the beach. 

Yesterday was 'mini vacation day number 2' for the year for them. Although both had to work a little, on schoolwork and blogging. 

Everything happens for the best.

Even for me.

Everything happens for the best. 

I love you tons and oodles!

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Maintaining Trust Both In Yourself and Others

 

We are in good hands. Remember this.

Today's blog post is inspired by the book of Jude and the lesson I gained from its study last night.

Everything is going to be just fine.

Let us take cows for example. 

We have ranchers who raise them for meat. It's part of the American tradition, the cowboy.

Here is a video of a cattle roundup in Nebraska.

Here is a video of how dogs can be trained to help make cattle go where you want them to go.

Here is a video how to brand cattle without pain. From the other videos, you can see it's a hard job to brand them the old-fashioned way. And there's even some footage of vegans getting branded the old-fashioned way to point out the cruelty inherent in the meat industry.

Here is a video of how knowledge of the cow's psychology, as an individual and as a herd that can stampede--is exploited to reduce fear and suffering in the meat slaughterhouse by Temple Grandin

Humans, like cows, are big mammals.  

We have our own ability to detect danger and react to it, just like a cow or bull can gore something or stampede to escape. 

Unfortunately, there are people who like the Sk-U-l...l... and Bownnn societies who select and indoctrinate world leaders to 'control the herd' through 'war, famine, pestilence and anything else needed.'

Here is a video of how women were brought into the workforce in world war two as Rosie the Riveter.

Important data points are that women can be taken out of the home, they can be financially independent, and the family--usually the grandparents--stepped up to the plate to watch the children.

As humans, our psychology makes us vulnerable to small changes over long stretches of time.

It is my belief that humans were created to be nomadic, like the American Indians and First Nations. In this state humans are in balance with Nature and completely self-sufficient. There isn't much territoriality as long as major tribes respect and honor the needs of other major tribes for land to sustain them. 

Over the years, the initial settlers moved out West, building homes and homesteads--while still being able to produce their own food and shelter--affordably. It was work. The family was needed to pitch in. But it happened.

Then there was the industrial revolution which brought people into the cities, and away from their means to support themselves from the land.

Women were taken out of the home. Rationing was initiated for food and other materials. People were able to comply because of the 'war effort' which they knew was temporary.

Women were then brought into the home, and given 'labor saving appliances'.  Suburban life was the fashion after the war. There was great prosperity.

But women, once having tasted the ability to support themselves, grew bored and were vulnerable to the women's movement. Returning to the workplace in great numbers, at first, 'to get ahead', it became a necessity for a two-income home to raise a family.

Enter the daycare centers and preschools, which add an expense almost as high as health insurance and rent to a family. Many horrible things have happened over the years in some places which were covers for indoctrination of innocent children into SRA. 

Now with COVID, the school is in the home. Money is tight. People can barely afford to stay afloat. Yes there are homesteaders on YouTube, but for the vast majority of the population, this is unattainable.

There is social unrest because some of the population wants to work for themselves--and others expect the government to support them.

When, and how many tragedies like Pearl Harbor, will be needed before the Gnu Whirled Order begins?

Is a movie like Han Solo's upbringing on Corella simply predictive programming?

Fear not.

The leaders of the Gnu Whirled Order movement are broken, like this brave soul who shares her dissociative identity disorder and shows a switch near the end of the video

In fact, there is an organized system to create such individuals, and each is under the control of a handler, and above that, Dark Mothers and above that, the liar himself.

Everything is smoke and mirrors, and everything is built like a throne of lies.

Reality is Creation.

God is Love.

There isn't anything else.

We are here in some 'movie' incarnate to learn our soul lessons. 

Nobody can 'steal it' or 'hijack it' no matter how hard they try.

Why?

Because our very essence in the physical is the energy of Love and Creation, slowed down enough to be physical. 

Even monsters are made of this Love Energy, whether they realize it or not.

This is why Jesus says in John Smallman to CELEBRATE!

Be awakened to this!

You are Love.

Everything is Love.

Some people have a problem with this, and are trying to shove the Fear is Love concept down everyone's throat in their quest for Power.

With everyone making the choice, everyone who reads things like this, making the choice to be loving no matter what happens, 24/7, guess what?

Love Wins!

Keep up the strong work.

What you see is only half the story.

Realize there are blind spots in us, because we are human.

Know that there is a hidden 'hand' that is run by a system of broken people who are too broken to realize that they too are made from Creator's Love.

Be loving in all things.

Ross

Everything will happen for the best. 

Keep your eyes open for opportunities to be loving all around you.

Walk in joy.

You are not alone in this.

I and my teams are always with you.

(applause)

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Fear Of Love versus Love of Fear

 

Isn't it irony that we just entered the sign of Libra on September 23? It will be here for a month, and as we all know, Libra is the sign for fairness and justice.

Yesterday there was a new nomination to the Supreme Court. 

It is a wonderful show! That is, if you step back and look at it with the eyes of Divine Creator, and don't take it personal.

I watched four hours of video documentary all together yesterday. Two hours in the morning, and two at the end of the day. 

Now we have this message which in and of itself answers the questions I had after watching the video--namely--where are we at in this whole process and where are we heading?

Yesterday there were feelings of intense closeness with Ross. We are slowly making our way back to where we were as a couple before any of the unpleasant things happened to us. I feel like his Queen and it feels wonderful, very wonderful, indeed!

Which brings me to our next point--yesterday I had three interactions with people I know, and one in preparation Ross sent me for on my own. First, I had a 'wonderful breakfast' he encouraged me to have. I went out for a croissant and cafe au lait at a local European Bakery I've been wanting to try. This was how I used to nourish myself when times were hard and I was a freshman in college. Simple, cheap, and yet, so elegant!

I also did a little shopping and again, it was time for more pumpkins and pumpkin spice. We are incredibly fortunate to have a large Latino community here in Southern California. They had the little day of the dead skulls with plants in them. I had taken mom once to a celebration at a local museum, and she was surprised because it was very much like what they used to do back home in Italy--sugar skulls, music, flowers, and a picnic at the graveyard to enjoy the presence of their departed loved ones. So, I bought the big black skull with so much beautiful artwork for mom, with an aloe vera plant, and a tinier blue one for dad. He's been gone longer, he doesn't need as much of the attention. And I bought a marigold plant.

I drove out to a new housing development in the area, perhaps thirty minute drive, to visit an old friend who had a mutual friend pick up something important for our health in Mexico. I brought pumpkin spice ginger beer for a treat (I know he's diabetic so I didn't bring cookies) and the check to reimburse him to reimburse her. We had a nice visit, and an enjoyable tour of his garden. 

There was a sadness to him I'd never seen, and a loneliness. He and his wife sold their home of twenty-eight years in another nearby community, to move into a brand new seniors housing development. It's very beautiful, and the home is only one story. His wife was sad too.

They are both Christians and very active in their church. It's hard to put my finger on it, but I think they don't get lots of visitors and the community isn't 'vibrant'. They are investing in a new pool and spa 'for the grandchildren'. Fortunately, her mother is living and I can practically see her house from my back yard. I look forward to inviting them over. Community is important, and retired medical people need contact with their friends from the hospital. 

Creator has been taking care of me, and I've seen the uncanny coincidences. SARK had an online retreat with The Surprising Gifts of Terrible Things. I started it at one. I love SARK. I've been to her book signing once. She's just incredible and I follow her on Instagram. I've had her posters. 

Her course was run well. It went from one to five, with an optional breakout groups from five to six. We get access to the recording for the course. 

I was shocked to see that the ninety attendants were all women close to my age! ALL WOMEN. But it was good to be in this small community, I felt safe and welcome, and some people were having even worse situations than me.  

But at three, I played hookey for one hour, and it was delightful! Why? I got to experience my first Theta healing with Divine Creator and Jennifer Farley.  I put the Zoom on mute and stopped my video, and participated in the healing over the phone. 

If you put the two healing methods side by side, one is like a dot matrix printer and the other is like a laser printer. Both print. But one is way more effective, sophisticated and targeted than the other. With Theta healing you just talk. It's not like Reiki where you don't talk. Energy moves. And insights just happen out of the blue. I think I said, 'it's like two plus two is four but without Creator I never would have made the connection.' These insights and energy upgrades (for lack of a better word to describe them) helped my emotional body, my mental body, and my physical body HEAL. It's like getting to the root of the problem and fixing it.

So at four I went back to the zoom. I hadn't really missed much, to be honest. Just answering some questions about alchemy of the sad things to find the good in them, and how to redirect the life. Some people shared their answers and we listened and supported them. 

I started my spiritual journey with SARK in the 1980's. It was nice after the strong healing, with theta, to 'come back to earth' in the warmth and kindness of SARK and Meg, and then get back to my daily routine.

So what's with the title?

Power.

Love is the ultimate Power. 

Just like Karuna energy is softer and yet more Powerful than Reiki. 

Lots of people don't 'get that'.

So in the physical plane here, we encounter those who have Fear of Love. It's from the conditioning of being raised in a society built by the 'controllers' who 'built' it and 'maintained it'.

If you watch the video you will see someone saying that God created Lucifer who is 'virtuous and kind and on and on' and shows knowledge.  The interviewer is so shocked that they ask the man to repeat himself and he says it again. 

When it gets to this point, the perception of Power has become so distorted that it morphs into a Love of Fear. These are the rituals. These are the people who seek demons. These are the people who want to control everything. They are so separated and powerless from lack of Unconditional Love that THIS happens. Perhaps they were raised in it? Perhaps to survive childhood they got brainwashed into it?

It's hard to say.

That's why the message of Jesus in John Smallman is all the more important.

The only way to countermeasure Fear of Love and/or Love of Fear, is to LOVE. In every situation. 24/7. Because LOVE truly IS all that there IS. And it's time for the sleepers who are stuck in Fear of Love and/or Love of Fear, to get used to it. 

Start with self-love. Like starting the day with the croissant to take the sting out of Anthony not being home. (he's with his father).

Know you are protected, Divinely protected, and infinitely loved.

In the Theta Healing, I got to experience being worthy of love, and I saw that Creator showed me golden waves at the seashore, that keep coming in, one after the next, and will never end. 

It was a good day yesterday. A very good day. I was able to interact with people who had high vibration, and even higher and higher vibrations.

It was a day of Love.

I had a backup call on Monday. It's one of the opportunities to make the most money. I asked a friend to take it. The school has a day to 'celebrate Autumn' and of course Anthony told me at the last minute. So now I will be off with him.  I'm so glad I asked. I was feeling trapped and hopeless, but my friend offered to cover during the week, and I thought, why not ask?

Look for the depth and gifts of the souls in your community. It's not enough to 'be love 24/7 in all circumstances'. Ross is correct, but he's missing the best part, the part that will keep you going--while you are doing that, and you will, remember you get to find the buried treasures and jewels which are in the souls of everyone you encounter. They might not know they are there. They might know them. But there they are, shining, precious, never to be repeated--spiritual gifts developed over thousands of incarnations, new insights and 'fresh perspectives' from the younger souls!--all of it is good. 

Yes, Surprising Gifts can come from Terrible Things. 

Even in these times.

Love is also Truth. 

Stay away from television and movies if you can. Even fun things you enjoy, and even YES even social media (even though we are on it and enjoy it and YouTube very much). 

Connect with Nature.

Be kind to yourself.

Exercise.

Get in the habit of doing the nature and self-care a little more, and have the social media be the 'extra' and the 'once in a while'. 

You'll be much happier.

Ross

Carla is my princess, and my love. I LOVE her very much. With all my heart. Together we support one another.

In this we have love in our hearts which overflows with love and healing.

This is the love we have for you.

It too is unconditional, and without end.

All of it is like this in Heaven.

Allow us to be the stepping stones for you to acclimate to the Higher Realms.

Its an honor to be of service to you in this regard.

All our blessings will fill you.

P.S. if one of Carla's bracelets is online, don't ask for the stone. It is her special gift to the person she made it, and it is only for the two of them to know. If you recognize it, please don't say it. Otherwise people will forget Carla's special gift, and in seeking the stone from other places, it will diminish Carla's gift to the world.  Thank you.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Prince and the Princess of hearts

Some Days You Can't Go In The Water

 

Yesterday was a long day, but not that long. When I got home, I asked Anthony, 'want to go to the beach?' So for the third day in a row, we went. 

The day before, he could be at waist high, and manage the incoming waves. I went out there with him, but it was too intense, because his waist high is about my neck high, and I couldn't touch between waves. I knew I would tire. So I stayed a little closer to shore at my waist high. 

The waves were tall but not very powerful.

Yesterday was a 'yellow flag' day, and almost a 'red flag'.

Anthony went out, and the current carried him down the shore several hundred yards in five minutes. He 'ate it' with one wave but it brought him close to shore and gave him a chance to get out of the water. 

The lifeguard was busy taking out body surfers and beach goers who, like Anthony, where whipping down the shore without realizing it, due to the current.

Some days you can't go in to the ocean all the way. You must respect it. But on these days, the ocean has other gifts. We saw a glorious sunset through the clouds. 

I also rested and didn't walk. My muscles were sore from yesterday's workout. 

You do the best you can. And always, give thanks for the fresh air, for the sunshine, and the freedom to enjoy Nature every chance you get.

During the lockdown, we were in a habit, of eating dinner in front of the TV. Watching either Ancient Aliens, Bar Rescue, or X22 report. I've let go of a lot of the 'knowing' types of social media. At first it was dealing with the raw grief. Later it was because I was feeling better and having more energy, and especially, watching Anthony stress less. 

What more can we do?

Vibrationally, many of us aren't on the 'cutting edge of freedom'--although perhaps we support these warriors with our minds, our souls, our hearts, and our wallets. 

Vibrationally, we can crank up our vibration to our comfort zone, or perhaps just a little above it, and see what results from there. For us, it takes a little effort to get to the beach. And perhaps we stay up a little later doing chores and homework when we get home. But it's been working for us. 

Ross

The grief is lessening, or rather, changing, like a fine wine. It is getting to 'just under the surface' kind of grief over the loss of Carla's mother, which is exactly like Carla's soul has been 'carrying on for millennia' over me.

It's the kind of grief that is always with you.

Yesterday God placed Carla between two of her best friends in all of surgery, two lady surgeons, one she trained with years ago and spent an hour on the phone with consoling her about her mother just this weekend, and the other who is Carla's closest and dearest new lady surgeon friend. Both stopped by Carla's room to say hello to her, and offer her hugs, which meant so much for the loving support. Both have lost their fathers, and one, her mother too. It is incredible support.

In turn, Esther had her first day at the surgery center, working GI. It is different work, the data recording is not automatic like at the hospital, and there is paperwork to learn. In this, Carla supported Esther, bringing her own blank billing slips to share. Carla also texted the head of the GI nursing staff to take care of Esther as it was Carla's friend and colleague, who was on her first day.

How much does it cost to support one another?

What is the cost to LACK support for one another?

Which one is vibrationally a challenge?

Huh?

Our bodies and our souls and our entire social structure as community is wired to help one another! It is easier to go with the flow than to go out of our way to ignore or harm others.

It is in THIS--energetically--that the battle is already won!

Less energy--going along with the LifeStream Path--is always going to outlast and out run and out maneuver--the energy that is going against the flow of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

It's energy, simple spiritual 'math'.

I hope you get the connection.

The show, the battle, the X-22, everything is going to come to a head, and will place a 'Win' in the right bucket, in its own time.

Adjust your energy accordingly. The more you are in flow with 'what is correct' from a metaphysical perspective, the more the victory will ensue. 

Align! Align! Align!

God wants you to have fun with it.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Twins

Introductions With Love

 

Today was a good day. I had the day off from work. I slept in and caught up on my sleep. And after cleaning the pool, I had time to meditate.

I did my every other day meditations, which I continue to do, to help bridge the gap in our political realm. It's bad here in the states. My family member can't come home from their work in the public sector, due to expectations of more riots in the area following a court decision. It's tough.

I did my Bible study.

And then I got to just go...where I go...where I like to go...between worlds.

In that space, the most wonderful thing happened! I got to introduce Ross to my mother, and my mother to Ross. (She already knew him and loved him, but never realized the connection of the heart we share!).

Ross was absolutely glowing to have me introduced to her, his smile was so bright, he was so warm and engaging, just absolutely filled with joy. 

Mom wasn't sure how to take it, but was gracious and loving even though she was taken a little off guard. 

When she was relaxed, and calm, I could see off in the distance the others. And I introduced them in turn to mother--Micheal, Raphael, Merlin, and Raziel. Each was most gracious and kind to mother. I enjoyed very much watching them charm her in their own special way. 

It was a good day. 

Other things?

I'd taken home a large floral display, the one my work had sent to the funeral, the kind that is on an easel and is HEAVY. The flowers had lasted one week. I had wanted to compost them. So I plucked them out of the green florist foam, filling two huge boxes with flowers and greenery, and I have them in the center of the garden. 

We made lunch at home. Anthony thrives when I am here in the day. He even asked me for a cup of coffee in the afternoon to keep up with the coursework on the computer. I made us cappuccinos. He was definitely wired for the rest of the day. 

It's hard to explain, but I go to the beach a lot now. It's the only thing that helps with the grief. I swim and I walk. Now my lungs are feeling better. 

If it wasn't for Covid, and distance learning, this would be impossible! With my days off, and no other places to go (no Disney, etc), the benefits of living near the ocean--it's only a short drive--are appreciated. There is sand EVERYWHERE! In the car, on the floor, on me sometimes...and I really am thankful for this time to heal and to rest.

For those of you who have reached out to me, thank you. Today I sent out two bracelets and two thank-you notes. I'm able to make a little progress. For those of you who offered healing sessions, thank you. Our schedule for October to December just came out on Monday. So I can check my availability and get back to you. 

I can assure you that the loss of a parent is highly traumatic. I was in a fog for a long time there, and even now, I am gentle with myself for not being able to remember things, or to keep up with my usual expectations. It's okay.

I can only imagine the effects of being traumatized systematically like Cathy O'Brien was. She is such a hero to me, in so many ways. And Mark Phillips too. Compared to her, my losses are 'trauma lite'!!

It is time for bed. So many of you have reached out I wanted to give you an update on how everything is progressing. Thank you again so very much for your prayers and Reiki healing. Especially the Transition symbols! The aura hole is healing somewhat, I can function a little, and the pain is different now, more tolerable. 

Ross

You can imagine my surprise when, in meditation, Carla took my arm and wanted me to meet her mother!

It's official now! (he chuckles goodheartedly at our Earthly custom).

From where I am, you would think everyone knows me. And they do. But not in that close, familial way.

That is why I was so tickled and warm to greet Carla's mother 'face to face' at Carla's request. 

It made my day.

I can assure you it made the day for Michael, Raphael, Merlin and Raziel too. Introductions like that don't often happen here. Our energy signatures say everything there is to know about who we are and our relations. 

(He's still laughing and smiling)

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Family

Coalescence

 

Today's blog combines many things I see happening around me. There is a 'certain coming together' of spirit and everyday happenings which is catching my attention.

Case in point, Friday. I cried on the way to work because I 'called' my mother, by speaking aloud in the car as if she was still here. It was our routine. I couldn't bear to be without it. 

That day, it was as if the floodgates opened at work! After my first case, a nurse in charge of the Operating Room stopped me, and said that our Chief Nursing Officer was looking to give me this, but couldn't find me. It was a letter from a patient thanking me for my care, and a twenty-five dollar Starbucks gift card!

I started crying. The pain of losing mom had left me raw, that any news, even good news, had me falling apart. I put my head on her shoulder and cried, which fortunately she understood because she too had lost her mom, and cried over everything too.

She said there was also a Press Ganey report which said my name that I did good, she would look it up for me.

I thanked her, and at the same time, my heart sank because I couldn't share it with mom like I always do.

The first case, the patient had no insurance, and as I looked up the second one, they had paid cash the last time. I wasn't sure what to do. The surgeon had lost his brother recently too Covid. But he told me at lunch that it was both cash cases and at the end to calculate how much my services were for both cases together. My boss and another anesthesiologist helped me to calculate.

Much to my surprise, I got paid in cash, in an envelope. It felt good to have immediate feedback from my work. The second patient was delightful and arguing with the surgeon and me in recovery room that the surgery had never even happened. We were like, look at your bandage on you! He was giving a big thumbs up to his team, so very happy. 

I had drawn the one and only time the Unicorn Card for abundance.

A nurse gave me a beautiful card and a heart ornament with a quote about mothers, too. 

Even for Monday's schedule, the front desk made a mistake, and I would have been given first choice (I could take the best paying room in the whole O.R.) but my boss saw it and caught it. 

I felt that was mom helping me. I never in my wildest dreams would have expected anything like that.

So part one for the coalescence theme, is that by delaying 'payday' from 'services rendered', we as workers lose our power in the workplace. We can then work for others. We are one step closer to being enslaved. Especially with the whole game my billing company plays with the insurance companies--such a joke to ask for more and the insurance companies give less...I typically get half or one third of my fee, plus the billing company takes its cut, etc, etc.

The next part is as it pertains to current events. 

Cathy O'Brien quoted Mark Phillips saying that the battle was already won and the others don't realize it. (others being people who used Cathy and programmed her, and their whole regime).

Ross gave me this verse yesterday, clear as day, Romans 1:6-31.  Wow! Paul knew about the other team back then, two thousand years ago! He said they call themselves 'wise' but they are actually 'stupid'.  Then @EsotericExposal said today: The evil and selfish refer to themselves as good and generous. Slaves to sin call themselves liberated. The foolish call themselves enlightened. Mortals call themselves "god". Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil.

@Martingeddes said: Having the war appear "active" when it is already won keeps open the "window of deprogramming" for those who remain deceived, and encourages the energy assets to participate in "bound to fail" plans that out themselves to both justice and public awareness. You are watching a...(movie projector emoji).

@MajorPatriot said: What if we've had Mueller, RussiaGate, E. Jean Carroll, Stormy Daniels, Kavanaugh debacle, SpyGate, Crossfire Hurricane, Impeachment and COVID foisted upon us to simply keep the contents of one small little laptop from going public? (photo of Anthony Wiener)

@Kristenhinkson said: So not Instagram is hiding the hashtag "Adrenochrome" because it means nothing, right??? (she shows a screenshot of the proof)

Time will tell. But the anxiety I was feeling all yesterday about the politics is much, much less. They know. Paul knows. Creator knows. And the plan has been in place for a long time, the plan is good, so I can relax a little and connect with Nature.

Ross and I would like to talk about a touchy subject, no pun intended. It is delicate though. It is the 'no FAP' movement and people who are following it are called Kangs.  Ross was like that. He knew all about semen retention. It saves the man's energy. And what I'd like to add, is that the dark ones like men to beat off to pornography. Not only because it's a lucrative industry. Just like the highest form of humiliation to the non-SRA community is to trick them into eating their babies (I've heard rumors that such things are thrown into ground meat grinders and a little diluted amount gets into the food stream of fast food)...the highest form of humiliation is to have non-SRA men beating off to what they think are women but are actually trannies. Spiritually it's to turn them gay without their knowledge, to have them lusting after men. So it's not just like in the bible verse--men who realize they are lusting after men. It's straight men lusting after them too because they are tricked. 

Our recommendation is it's better to keep the sexual energy between a committed couple. And if you'd like more firepower in the bedroom to help 'even the score' as the porn addiction habit is being kicked by 'no FAP'--try following @shalommelchizidek on Instagram for his Sacred Sexuality. Or read the works of David Deida. We are sure there are more but those are the two Carla has familiarity with and are very good sources of information. 

Ross

Now for one last subject, today was the first day Raphael came to her, and asked her why she hasn't been asking for comfort with the loss of her mother?

Carla said, simply, that it's such a big loss it's easier for her to focus on the one in Spirit, me, Ross, and not on anything else.

In turn, Carla spent time in the arms of each of her five 'husbands'--Twin Souls to be exact--crying and sharing the pain from her soul to their most attentive ears. Each had a different viewpoint of comfort to share with her.  It helped her immensely to feel like she was surrounded by their/our love. 

That is Spirits way, to 'wait in the wings' until the soul is ready. Carla's state of overwhelm was such that she needed earthly (and my, of course!) assistance. And now that the first wave of grieving is done, she is receiving the necessary help from Spirit. And reaching out to her circle of friends too.

Yesterday I was very proud of her. Carla wanted to go to lunch to a little French Bakery. She wanted quiche and salad. 

Anthony gave her a hard time. It was in a little strip mall, and he didn't expect anything from that strip mall to be any good. 

He said he was wrong about the place, after he had his lunch and dessert! Both were very happy, it was authentic, and reminded them of Bechu, their favorite bakery in Paris.

Keep your heart together with your mind, and have the faith. The whole point of the bible verse I gave Carla is to live by faith. Even when these horrible things are happening all around us. Live by Faith, detach from toxic news and social media, and spend time with uplifting people and nature instead.

We are well on our way with the plan I began so very long ago.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple who LOVE YOU unconditionally and completely.

All Days Are Special

 

As I move slowly and carefully through times of change, I have come to the conclusion that days, any day, all days, are special in their own way.

The people who surround us, are placed there for a reason.

The kindnesses they show us, are like works of art in a beautiful movie of our consciousness.

A cousin called me yesterday, and he said he knows the pain, it isn't fun, and his thoughts are with me. He said nice things about mom. And he said the toughest part is it's so final. There isn't any 'five more minutes' or 'just a second' it's just final. 

All of us juggle with that concept. 

That's why all of our days are so special. 

There is a 'never again' quality to them.

As you may know, mom wasn't the greatest cook. So we have been going from one fast food place to another in memory of her for our meals. The Travis Scott meal was the latest one. it's from Mc Donald's and is the latest 'thing'. You go and tell them 'Cactus Jack sent you'. They will give you a quarter pounder with bacon, french fries with barbecue sauce for dipping them, and a Sprite lemon-lime soda.  I ordered in in Drive Thru and sounded like a total mom, and really embarrassed Anthony, but it was fun.

Last night, I actually cooked a meal. I'm not up to lots in the kitchen but we had bought things recently. 

So I put in one pan, cut up peppers and onions and placed five Italian sausages over them. No olive oil. And in another pain, one leg of lamb (small), no seasoning.  In a third pan, I placed one of our spaghetti squashes, cut into halves and the seeds removed. 

For dessert it was fresh pineapple.

I had some of my honey dandelion mead--it's actually aging better in the fridge. There's just perhaps one bottle left. 

I got a bunch of kale for the bunny. And all three of us ate and watched YouTube videos together. We were lucky to be home, together, and have a little free time. 

Here we are in the middle of a pandemic, in perhaps the most insane political times of our lives, doing our best to just live our lives and make the most of it. 

That's why every day is special.

Ross

What Carla is skirting around, and what I shall say directly, is to appreciate life as you know it, because you never know when it will be the last for one of your or the other, or that massive change may be right around the corner.

Experience your joy.

It is there for the taking, for the enjoyment, for the loving energy, for the sustenance and for the support.

Yesterday Carla ate for breakfast Trader Joe's Pumpkin O's breakfast cereal. Anthony had said it was 'too pumpkiny' but Carla thought it was appropriate. She didn't have a cup of coffee in order not to be late for work.  She didn't pack her lunch and she hasn't for a long time. She used to. But now she has found she 'can get by'. And sure enough she did. Yesterday the department brought in pizza's in boxes that were as big as the tables in the break room, lots and lots of them! She got a little salad and one and a half 'squares' (very large pizzas are cut into squares) before she started her one case that was four hours. 

They were saving an eye.

Yes, Carla worked with someone who was totally and completely blind yesterday.

Always count your blessings!

If you can see, you can hear, you can taste, you can walk, you can feel, you can take care of yourself and your loved ones, you are BLESSED! Blessed beyond description!

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple who are very happy in love and also quite content.

The Gift Of My Tears

 

Mother was laid to rest yesterday.  Due to Covid restrictions, it was very quiet and limited in size. Masks were mandatory and the seats were far apart for the family members.

A young pastor mom had met at a wedding two years ago, who she shared a special connection, gave the eulogy. All three of her daughters also spoke. 

My work sent an incredibly beautiful flower display that was over seven feet tall. 

When it was time to put the casket into the grave, we were each given time to say our last goodbyes. 

I was so sad. So devastated to have lost my mother's emotional support in this world, her voice, her understanding and her comfort. 

So I gave her my tears. It was the only thing I had left to give to her in the physical world. So I took my tears and gently wiped them on her casket, knowing I would be forever connected to her as we had been in life.

Sometimes, the only thing you have to give are your tears...They are a precious and important gift when they are from the heart.

The only other thing I have to add, is at the end, my feet were hurting. And I could barely walk back to the car. So I kicked off my shoes and walked on the grass back to the car to catch up with the rest of the family who were already at the car. 

That's when I heard Ross. He said, with love, 'My Bride!'

Fortunately, Ross is my emotional support, forever, and I will be asking him for the ordinary, mundane things I've sought from my connection with my mother--with my daily calls to and from work.

It's time for work soon. I would love to stay home and cry. But life goes on.

Ross and I thank you for your loving support of us both at this difficult time.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

Just Another Day

 

We used to have a saying in medical school. You can learn ANYTHING in three days. 

You really could.

What is a day?

Some are good days. Some are bad days. 

Yesterday was an especially difficult call. When I thought the work was over, more work came in. Again and again. Difficult, risky anesthesia cases, although the surgery was straightforward, sometimes the patients have certain constellations of problems that make anesthesia care more complex. 

At times I felt like it was a never-ending parade of energies that just wanted to shake me to my core and mess with me. To see how 'loving' I could be in all situations. 

For patient confidentiality I wish I could share more, but I can't.

In the end, it's just another day. And perhaps come payday I'll be glad I worked as hard as I did. 

I came across a wonderful prayer which I highly recommend, it's from Friedborg...I want to call her her old name, but I'm sure you know her, she's awesome, and here is the link: A prayer for our times.

I'd also like to thank the angels who reached out and through them I was reminded how Creator loves me...for those of you who answered the call...thank you and I couldn't have made it through my shift without your listening to Spirit.  I was in a bad way for a while there. Thank you.

Ross

Everything happens for the best. I'd like to tell you a little about Carla's work situation. Her boss sat her down for the 'Devil's Deal'--if she would take OB call she could be Full Time. 

Carla had not been told she would work fifty percent, this was decided without her, and the boss said it was to make the scheduling easier. 

Carla said, 'well, at fifty percent how will I be able to pay the bills?'

He assured her she would, and that he knows how much everyone makes, and working part time she wasn't that far behind the others who worked full time. 

Carla stood her ground with him on that 'deal-making'. She politely said her priority at the time is her son, and with his age, he needs her home more and more. Perhaps when he's in college they can revisit it. It's just the way it is.

Deep down, she knows once she says yes to OB, then she can never say 'no', and it's a hostile work environment. Carla is traumatized from the treatment (abuse) she had while doing her job on the labor deck.  If she said 'no' to OB then it would be 'no' to the job. 

Carla is calm in me. Carla knew her boss picked the time he was alone with her, and she was post-call (he didn't know she'd been up all night), and vulnerable.

Sometimes you have to be your own best defense, and stick to your guns.

Remember in the words of Hope Johnson, everything is a cry for love. Things you like. Things you don't. and the people who are petty over the money at her work, and over the control--who will not be gracious enough to let her be full time without taking OB, like the partners do, -- are crying for love. 

Everything happens in an instant. 

Everything happens for the best.

I am maintaining control of everything, the ultimate control. And though at times it might not appear that way, truly, I am, and you are wise to place your trust in me.

And also in Carla!

clap! clap! 

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple

P.S. please send extra healing to Carla and her family for the internment of her mother Nikki tomorrow.

Well-being Is Important

 

Bien-être, is the French word for 'well-being'.  Literally translated it means, 'well to be', and infers it's good to be alive.

That was my lesson for the weekend.

When push comes to shove, your well-being is your Square One. 

I actually defended mine against the rat. I caught it. I know that they go crazy for those shiny green beetles. One had been on the ground and I had stepped on it. It was the corner where there was lots of rat poop in the yard, where I placed the trap with that bug on it. In the morning, there it was, one as big as the one I'd seen last night that acted like it owned my yard, climbing up the shepard's hook pole where I hang the hummingbird feeder. Dead it lay, swarming with tiny black ants. I threw the whole thing away rather than fight the ants to release the dead rat and get my trap back. 

Our well-being is a major component of our Vibration. And our ability to maintain a vibration of a certain frequency, above and beyond the 'status quo' in this incarnation, is our reason to be here. As I re-read The Hiding Place, I learn of how Corrie's deep faith helped her to survive the unthinkable--being at the mercy of the Nazi regime, in those horrible camps.  

It was a tile in their kitchen floor that said, 'Jesus is Victor' that became one of her mottos for survival, and also, for inspirational speaking in the years after her experience. She was in her fifties when she went into the camps. It's amazing how she survived. 

I took a class yesterday on Grief, and how to help others who are experiencing Grief. It was taught by my teacher Anne Reith, PhD on Zoom. You can participate in her online classes now. She doesn't have a local healing center like she once did. Just hearing her voice was very healing for me. Learning what grief is normal and what isn't was  healing too. 

I asked her a question about the deaths of small children who are mistreated in 'ritual settings' and 'cults' and how the whole thing makes me so very sad. I can't seem to come to term with it or grieve it. Knowing what I know about Svali, Kerth, Cathy O Brien, it's just so sad. 

She said two important things. One, we need to have a limit. A limit on how much we can be exposed to, and when our vibration starts to get lowered by it, we need to change the screen we are looking at--close the app, swipe the image age, anything. She also explained how it's difficult from our perspective, but if we go up to the perspective of the Higher Selves, each soul signed up for a Life Script/Life Contract, and it is possible someone signed up to play the bad guy in this life and someone signed up to be the victim for important soul lessons. This makes it somewhat easier to accept but still from being incarnate the cruelty and suffering is very difficult to watch and be aware of.

I also learned how we don't just grieve the loss of loved ones. We grieve the loss of our health, our youth, our ability to function (Khiem had that when he couldn't work any more), our work (I have that now, down to half time), the empty nest...And when losses stack up sometimes we don't have time to grieve them all. This puts us at risk for Complicated Grief. That's when you need professional help. Her grandmother cried every day for seven years after her grandfather died. That's not normal. 

There is work today, I will start getting ready. Ross has been right by my side the whole weekend, supporting me, encouraging me, and sometimes even helping me decide what next to do. I stayed inside to avoid the poor air quality. Surprisingly I spent time with the rabbit, she enjoys company, and even shared the lettuce from my bowl of salad with her before I put the dressing on it. I noticed when I nodded off watching some X-22 that she nodded off too. 

No matter what happens, stay calm. Do your daily meditations where you feel the love of Creator, and later, you share it with whatever group on the even or odd day (odd is same political affiliation as you, even days are the other team).  This will do good work energetically. It slows the division that other people are trying to sow into humanity. 

Watch your vibration. And remember, Self Care is important, Well-being is important, and time spent in Nature is important too. Get yourself sunshine and fresh air, daily.

Ross agrees with all. He will talk.

Ross

Today I am going to talk about Carla's kitchen. Yesterday, she made chicken soup with a whole chicken in the hot pot or 'slow cooker'.  She knew her class would be six hours and Anthony would return home hungry. 

The house smelled beautiful.

Carla has been doing more than her share of the work unloading the dishwasher, unloading the dish rack, and washing the sink full of dishes. They have a deep ranch style sink, and it gets full very fast, it can hold a lot of dishes.

I saw with my own eyes how Carla had the sink all ready on Friday night, shiny and clean. and again on Saturday night. When Anthony came home it looked like she had done nothing all weekend. He didn't hear the dishwasher ring that it was done before he came home. 

Carla finds a lot of comfort in doing the dishes. It was the first task that helped her to ground when her mother died. There is something simple, 'earthy' and reassuring about these tasks.

So if your energy and your perception are in the 'danger zones' from what is going on around you, do the dishes. The warm water and the soap are very good for you.

And if you like, you can invite your loved ones to help you.

Carla has had to throw out a lot of glasses because her son just doesn't care and isn't careful with her things. Yesterday she threw out not one but two of their oldest and most-loved glasses because of the chips on the drinking surface. 

It is what it is, you can't control everything, and boys will be boys. He knows enough to avoid the ones that are precious, the bodun double-layer glass  cups (one he destroyed using a spoon to stir sugar in it), and the china. This year he's done more help, he knows what is expected of him, and there's more breakage too. 

All the plates are melamine for this reason. 

So much for the kitchen.

As for her grief, Carla is experiencing depersonalization, numbness, and an empty feeling. From what she has learned, this is normal. She finds herself doing tasks like watering the garden where she is going through the motions because the plants need her. There is not much joy. There is sadness, but the tears, the healing tears don't come.

To compensate, I have made sure Carla gets enough nutrition, and also, enough sleep. She took a warm bath for the first time since she did the Marie Kondo. It helped. 

There are thank you notes to write to the people who reached out to her in her grief. The time will pass and her strength will return enough to write them. 

Carla is surfing the ocean of grief, and doing the best she can.

Carla is astute, and realized, that there is a layer on top of her grief, which goes way back to me. I was murdered. And Carla, in her need to protect her own life and that of my mother and our daughter, didn't have time to grieve. She had to be strong. So...now she understands that I have been her professional help for her Complicated Grief, she has held in her soul for many years. Carla felt guilty, like she could have said or done something to prevent my horrible death. 

Even though she was chosen for me, to support me, and to encourage me, even in the end doing exactly what I taught her to do just in case for an emergency, and she did it to the letter exceeding all of my spiritual expectations!--Carla was also human in that life, and needs to heal from it too. There is no escaping grief and the healing process.

What astounds Carla as she goes through it are her vivid dreams. Typically she doesn't dream. And they were nightmares which I won't share. But it shows me and her that her subconscious is working very hard to heal. Very very hard.

So today is another day to distract her from the grief, for only a little while. 

And Wednesday is the big day where her mother gets buried in the mausoleum. Then all the four empty places will be full, grandparents, and parents. 

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Beautiful Souls who Heal everything and everybody, including us. 

Shoes Say Everything

 

Yesterday was an amazing day. I'll tell you what happened. But first, let me begin the story of yesterday by letting you know who I am, and what I once was...I was like this. 

When I would walk into a Salsa Bar for a night of dancing, people would comment, and my friend Digna would tell me, they said, 'did you SEE those LEGS?!'

I was all about the short skirt and the most beautiful shoes I could possibly find on my feet.

I was a dancer for a long time. That's why I had the 'fashion statement' on my feet.

Unfortunately, due to incorrect sizing and my not knowing, I danced en pointe in shoes that didn't support my right big toe properly. All my weight would go on it. At the time I said, 'I'll enjoy now and let whatever happens happen'. I thought perhaps in my sixties I would notice it.

I walk with a limp. It started about eight years ago, the arthritis. I haven't seen a foot doctor since the one I stopped in the hall said they could fuse the toe for me. OUCH! Then it wouldn't move at all!

Heels are out of the picture. Even my work shoes have lots of padding in them and they are special to support the feet. My clogs--Dansko's--have lots of gel in them for my toe.

The last time I bought beautiful shoes, really nice designer ones, was in 2004. The feet get bigger with pregnancy. 

Ever since it's been some variation of shoes like this. 'Sensible shoes' with 'support' and no heel. I bought a pair of Vionics for my sister's wedding two years ago, super expensive, supposedly fashionable, but I got rid of them because I never enjoyed wearing them.

From early on, I had a wide foot. Getting shoes for me wasn't easy. We had to go to Stride Rite (where they have 'support' shoes for kids). I wore oxfords a lot, something called Earth Shoes, and Vans tennis shoes. Dress shoes back then were platforms from Kinney of Thom McCann. Cheap ones.

When I started working, I found a miracle! Shoes from Italy fit my feet better than shoes from here. Shoes from China or Brazil were torture to wear, they were so narrow. But the Italian Made somehow seemed to understand my wider foot. 

I also found a pair of Swiss made Bally loafers that were like walking on a cloud, and I wore them for twenty years until there wasn't anything left. I had them re-soled twice. 

The funeral/burial service/internment is in three days. In my Marie Kondo frenzy, I threw out my old dark black dresses. They didn't fit. I didn't like them. And my shoes? They are Dansko velcro sandals that are five years old. 

If you've seen photos of my mom, fashion was her thing. 

So Ross sent me to a local Nordstrom Rack. It's the discount outlet for Nordstrom, a nicer, high-end store. He told me to get one in size sixteen. 

There it was.

I tried on many, just to be sure, but it was the first one I saw. It is plain, simple with embellishments on the half-sleeves at the elbow. 

I bought all kinds of shapers to wear under it. 

I also realized my size just keeps going up. I hardly ever eat. Twenty years ago I was a size two! I'll get the exercise going. I'll eat more whole foods and vegetables. 

But the miracle was the shoes.

Ross, in his infinite kindness and wisdom, guided me to Italian designer shoes at super discounts. None of them hurt. 

I even had two low heel pumps--I haven't worn proper pumps in ages--and one is in a leopard print!

I have low boots, lace up dress shoes, a sandal with velcro that's cute and pretty, and even a slip-on sock pale pink tennis shoe. 

The shame over my feet went away. I can dress properly now for our area. I don't have to look like a grandma in the foot department. 

Yesterday was a fog. I couldn't get anything done around the house. It felt good to leave it. When Anthony is with his dad it's super quiet, too quiet. I repotted the grapefruit and the kumquat trees. 

While I was just sitting in the porch swing after watering the yard, I saw a rat. It came strolling through all of my garden at the edge of the fence. It climbed up the metal pole of the shepard's hook I use to hang the hummingbird feeder, climbing up like a gymnast, seeing the feeder was gone (I'm refilling it), turning around on the pole and climbing down nose first. It stopped to drink in a puddle by my strawberry plants. 

I was so angry I started to throw dirt clods at it! I hissed like I would to get a cat out of my yard. It ran into the neighbor's yard through a hole in the bottom of the fence I didn't know was there. Then I set all the traps. 

There are so many rats in my town that people in the neighborhood can't keep their garage door open during the day, the rats will run in. 

There are flies, too, crazy amounts of flies. We even have them in the house. I went hunting for them. With a big black leather Amish flyswatter. 

The rat poison bait stations were refilled on Thursday. I was able to find two fresh figs that were uneaten yesterday. 

When I was little, we had in our community Vector Control. It's part of the government that watches for mosquitoes and rats and things. These days it's like those departments don't exist. They tell you what to do to solve the problem but they don't solve it for the community. 

In the house, I've noticed we have spiders. I don't mind them. I have one a daddy longlegs in the corner to my right now. I've bought the Raid brand sticky towers that are like yellow paper towel rolls, and they have caught many. I've also bought their clear patches to put on the windows and catch the flies. But even more effective are the spiders in the little windows on the front door, and in the side windows. Thank goodness for the house spiders!

These are trying times. 

Sometimes it seems like there is two steps forward and one step back. 

Don't worry about this.

Help is coming.

I know I could talk to Ross about the flies and the rats, and he will advise me. In this way, two heads are better than one. 

Am I nervous to wear what I'm going to wear to the funeral? Yes. It's like my first 'tent dress' and I feel huge but at least it's not tight. And my feet will be beautiful.  (All the women in my family, except my Aunt Edna who was very active--get big when they hit their fifties. It goes away when you get older. Both on the Italian side and the French one. I feel good. And I can exercise and watch what I eat. I tried the Weight Watchers and even though they say you can eat what you want, you can't, and it gets very depressing eating like that. I never lost weight on it and I was on it for over a year too.)

When you get to a point where you are working with Spirit, and you have a loving guide like I have Ross, it's easier. Even the unthinkable is possible. I can go to my mother's funeral. I can wear cute clothes in my size. And I can recommit to my health in so many ways. Together we are unstoppable. I'm so grateful and thankful for the shoes! I really am. And for the savings too. Everything was at least fifty percent off, some were seventy percent off, and I cashed in two hundred dollars worth of coupons at the discount store. 

Ross is just glowing with pride. He's content with himself for doing such an excellent job helping me. It brings him joy to help his family, it really does, and to provide solutions and support.

clap! clap!

Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Happy Couple

Do Good Things

 

Ross picked today's title, just as I was waking up. Today is an interesting day. I have it entirely free to myself. There is no work. There is no Anthony. It would be easy to be overwhelmed. There is so much to do around the house, both with the Marie Kondo house project, general cleaning and decluttering, gardening, and household chores. 

Ross pulled me back from that line of thinking, and made me include time for fun and things I enjoy. As well as exercise. After writing this I am going to have a light breakfast and take a little walk in the neighborhood before it gets too warm.

Speaking of warm! Oh my gosh, the electricity bill arrived. Anthony has zero tolerance for heat. And he's home all day. So I have to keep the air conditioner running. Guess how much is cost? Five hundred dollars plus, and it would have been six hundred had we not had the credits for climate zone and something else. 

Even his sports physical yesterday was fifty dollars. 

We go through money like it's water here in Southern California. 

I read an article about the food bank in our county. There's lots of people going to it, even more than we once had with the recession in 2008. Remember all the people out of work and staying home. I heard in September they can evict people again. Many people are going to need many prayers. 

I got my hair colored yesterday. It's honey blonde. There were many, many old grey roots to cover. My hairstylist has started working at a grocery store to make sure he has something to do, as well as income. Three hairstylists gave up their spaces where he rents, due to the slowdown of the economy because it wasn't allowed to do hair. 

I got compliments on my hair yesterday. It IS 'mermaid hair', and I enjoyed it. I've faced the scary prospect of being totally gray, and to be honest, it wasn't the end of the world. I decided long ago when my hairstylist stops then I stop.  He trimmed it too, a lot, and it's lighter weight and has more movement. Yes, I have heavy hair! LOL. I really do.

I am blessed.

As far as yesterday is concerned, there's so much 'out there', so many levels, and the deepest one is knowing the true story. It's so sad. I learned of some guy, let me get his name, Larry Silverstein. He must have had inside information. There's no way someone could have a 'last minute doctor's appointment'...

Instead of saying who's right and who's wrong, Ross and I encourage you to have compassion for everyone, no matter how much or how little they know of the truth behind the whole thing. People died. Lots of them. Unnecessarily. Let them process the information they have, and when they approach you as they learn the truth, agree with them that it's very serious and very sad that the world has come to this.

Which brings us to our next point...in many ways, what we are seeing is a faction of the main combatant in world war 2, coming back into the open, under different names but the 'play book' is very, very much the same. It's like it never stopped. If you see the Oliver Stone history series, you can see the NWO marching forward, regardless of the political affiliation of the presidents.  Our point isn't what is happening, it's how to survive it, and this brings us to the works of Corrie Ten Boom. She is the woman behind the story called The Hiding Place. She was a Dutch spinster taking care of her older sister and father. They were all watchmakers. But they also hid Jews during the war, right inside their house. It got found out. And all were sent to the concentration camps. It is very inspirational, her story and her faith.  We highly recommend reading her books.  Ross says it will help you to see perspective and validate what you are perceiving now in modern times. It will also give you faith. 

He's going to help me keep on track this weekend. I hope to accomplish much, and to have fun. 

Ross says for all of us, 'Good times are coming. We must also remember the bad times, experienced by ourselves and everyone, in order to fully appreciate the good. '

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple <3 who are in love, love, love and he is helping her through her grief.

Mental Hygiene

 

Today I feel the need to state the obvious:  we are living in times of great change and disruption, and never before has the need to focus on and support our mental health greater.

Remember that the darkness strives to tell us we can't.

It is the quiet voice of stillness that Creator tells us we CAN.

We CAN.

We can do anything.

I remember talking with Esther about the horrible things our boss has said to me about my anesthesia care. Her response almost knocked me off my chair!

What does he know? He is LYING! Don't you believe it, not for one minute!

She was right. He can't even use the computer at the hospital. He only charts by hand at the surgical center. He's there all day. What does he know about the working conditions? 

It made me feel better.

I wanted to talk to you about looking to others for advice on your problems. Case in point, my above ground pool. Last year, I spent a fortune on chemicals and it was green most of the summer. I even had to drain and refill the pool once. Why? Because I trusted the 'experts' at the local pool supply company and their little gizmo to check the water and my test strips.

This year? I bought new test strips and they had two new tests on them, two color dots, in addition to the four or five I had before in the old ones. I looked for support from other above ground pool owners online--youtube and on filters/pump reviews on amazon. I also bought my chemicals cheaper at other hardware stores and Costco. I trusted my intuition and bought this thing advertised online--a solar copper thing that floats in the pool. Now by taking responsibility, I understand it, and with practice, it's going well. The main problem is that the pumps that come with these pools are never sized appropriately for the pool. You need a bigger one. And second, you need more hardness in the water for above ground than you do for in-ground pools--I learned that one from the package on the test strips. 

It wasn't easy to overcome resistance from Anthony, who was encouraging me to give up and throw away the pool. But I prayed and struggled and made mistakes and eventually figured it out. 

There are a lot of things like that where if you just work at it and look into it, you learn. 

I stumbled across something yesterday. With the grief, you need to protect yourself from emotional stress because already you are burdened enough. Yesterday was almost surreal. Here I am, at work, struggling to make it through, and yet miracles happened. Not just for me. For others.

At the end of our two cases, I shared my bad news with my friend who's a urologist. We are close. And I told her my mom passed, but mom loved her, and always called her 'that beautiful lady doctor'. (Her daughter and my niece were in the same class at the same high school). She hugged me. Three times. I was so choked up. Later, she paused, and said, in her N-95 mask and eye shield, that this was the first hug she's given anyone in six months besides her husband. Because of the Covid. And I choked back, I really needed that hug. Thank you.

When you are working with Spirit, and in 'alignment', things happen. Cases switched around. And my tonsillectomy went to another room. I got a gallbladder. With the guy who threw me out of his OR and made me cry something awful...some time ago. He's going through a divorce now, and it's not pretty, he's even unhappier than he was before. Oh no!

So I did something different. 

I kept telling myself over and over, 'I love Jesus! I love Jesus!' because there was no way to get myself out of that situation. 

It went okay.

I wasn't yelled at.

I stood up the whole case, never once looked at my phone, and actually, I was a good fit because the patient needed a certain skill set and I'm good at those skills.

I did a block with the surgeon's okay, and according to the recovery room, the patient felt no pain. 

I was looking for people to relieve after that case, and stumbled across a colleague squeezing in three GI cases during her gap, and was on the last one.

But her surgeon, a heart surgeon, was upset because they were delaying her. I said I'd do the case.

I talked with my colleague and said, 'either I do this one or start the other one for you'. The colleague got upset and said that the surgeon made her wait, why can't she wait two minutes?

I choked out the words, 'I am available!'

So she chose for me to start the case, it was a short one, so she let me finish it and go home. 

I was so excited to work with this surgeon. She's the cardiac one who replaced the mean ones, and she's very very nice. A mother. I enjoyed working with her. She has no idea I started her heart room, or my skills. That's okay. My boy was her boy's age--four--when I started the heart room. I'm glad I had these eleven years to enjoy him. 

At the end of the day, I said goodbye to the PACU nurses, and to the leader, I said, 'I had a good day, thank you.' She said, 'none of us here ate any lunch. It was not a good day.'

I paused, and very gently, shared that I hadn't eaten lunch either (it was four p.m.)...but when I called to see how my patient was doing, and you said that BOTH the nurse and the patient said, 'I'm fine!' it was the highlight of my day, and I thanked her for it.

I was overheard.

I didn't realize it. But the GI nurse who was across the room saw me heading for the door. She took me by the arm, and showed me the pot luck the nurses had for Ellen for her birthday. I saw a cake with her name on it. But she showed me a piece of fried chicken tender, and dipping sauce, and encourage me to take it for the drive home. 

All I'd eaten that day was one apple cider pumpkin spice donut. So I ate it, and gave thanks.

Sometimes, when you have it in your heart, that you love...you love Jesus...you love God and God's children, your brothers and sisters...then sometimes that love gets shown back to you.

I came home to a tired and cranky son who needed to leave the house. 

I took a deep breath, and realized duty was calling and my dreams of cooking the meat in the fridge for dinner were going away. I put on my bathing suit, and drove him to the beach. It's the only thing we can do here in California. And it helps tremendously with the grief and stress. Anthony said at the beginning of the stay at home orders he thought it was wonderful. But now he just wants to socialize. 

While we were at the beach, his phone rang. His best friend and his girlfriend were going to swing by the house! But we weren't home. 

God is good.

People are good.

They really are.

Once you let go of the strings and let Spirit take care of things.

Ross says he agrees with that statement.

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Illuminated Twin Souls

P.S. I'm still doing daily Bible study, it helps so much. Today I learned in Ezekiel how God destroyed the Phoenician port town of Tyre/Tyrus. By the ocean. If you know who the Phoenicians are--even now--you'll see how very timely that is. And also, if you know where Tyre is located. <3

The Kingdom of Kindness

 

I don't know when exactly, but I stumbled across something recently that I think is worth sharing.  The other day, I was heading out towards work, and our neighbor on the corner was heading out. She pulled up and we chatted normal, everyday things. I didn't want to be late for work, but I sensed our talking was important, and I did my best to calmly answer her questions about the hospital, and Covid, and things like that.

I'm so glad I took the time.

Her husband died in a motorcycle racing accident that afternoon. 

Another neighbor let me know. Her husband was a leader in our community. I was totally shocked. He was young and leaves two college-age daughters behind.

Instinctively, intuitively, I thought to myself, 'she is going to have bills, lots and lots of them, and I don't know how she is going to pay.'  Her work is in the office of a local elementary school. She started working because on his business the health insurance was too expensive to maintain their coverage. 

I didn't tell anyone what I did.

I had already written checks to my sister and brother in law, and my niece and nephew, with sympathy letters over the loss of their grandma (yes, not my mom, their other grandma. Both died within two weeks of each other).  I wrote another card and included a check for one hundred dollars (the same as to all four mentioned combined), and put it in the back of her mailbox without sending it through the mail. 

Little did I know grief would visit me soon.

My friend Kelly's mom passed a couple of years ago. I brought her a grief bracelet, and one for her staff who also had a serious loss in the family.  (when I put mine on, it worked, instantly. It was the first time I could appreciate it first hand).

Kelly knew I was in a world of pain and hurt, and she also wanted to guide me and support me in my loss. Kelly managed to find out from Anthony where my favorite restaurant was, and ordered enough food to feed an army and had it delivered to the home. Anthony and I were so hit by the loss that we couldn't even figure out if we were hungry or not. But when we smelled the food we realized we were in fact very hungry! It was like Christmas.

Kelly doesn't do things for recognition. She's very quiet about when she gives. And she says that she just feels when it's needed and does it and doesn't think twice. 

Later on, in my mailbox, was a note from our neighbor, thanking me for giving her 'sustenance'.

It's true.

I knew she'd have trouble and I acted without thinking of myself or the after effects to me. Or even what she or anyone would think.  But it helped her to survive.

Through Kelly's generosity and kindness (It was four huge shopping bags of Mexican food!) it came back to me when I needed it the most.

Anthony and I were still in a bad way. I remembered our friend the dog-walker and pet-sitter neighbor from our old house. I had called her to let her know about mom's passing. I reached out again and asked if we could arrange for Anthony to spend time with her dog. They both 'were puppies together' if you know what I mean. Anthony was the dog's boy. When she mentioned his name to the dog at home, the dog remembered and got very excited to go see him.  She brought a card and two bouquets of flowers from the grocery store.  She spent the whole afternoon with us. It meant so much.

So many have reached out to us, with phone calls, and cards and letters and handmade bracelet and earrings of hemimorphite, bouquets...plants. It touched my heart deeply.

At work, I've been near tears for weeks. There's been lots of support from the nurses. And one colleague, Esther, has helped me to have time to grieve by helping to cover some of my call. She's helping everyone take call.

We were going to go to lunch and talk about our work situations, but a surgeon invited himself to go with us to noodles. He is very kind, he paid for us both, and also bought food for the three nurses in the recovery room. We had ramen noodles with firm noodles. And a spam musubi. 

I had given him socks the other week. Nice once, from Stance. I didn't buy a single pair for me. We had gone back to school shopping. I bought some for Anthony. These had something like the surgeon's nickname on them. I've known him twenty years. So I didn't think twice about the thirty dollars for the socks. As it turned out, I ended up given them to him a few days before his birthday. 

Yesterday I had a huge insight, and I think I understand why Ross suggested not to throw the baby out with the bathwater at my work.

It's dog eat dog.

In a bad way.

But with the extra time I'll have available, I don't have to buy into that mentality.

We can create our own 'pack' of caring, like-minded anesthesiologists at work, who cover for one another when they are sick and have to do things. Dogs are always working together as a team, too. It doesn't have to be dog-eat-dog. 

It's starting now, it's all attitude, and by doing the right thing, it will catch on. 

It's always the lowly ones the Divine Creator chooses, the Davids with the Goliaths, and with the support of Creator, if we align with Divine Will, we will be in good shape.

It's better to have less work, and to be made an example to the others--and still not have to take OB call at my hospital. 

This extra time is helping me to figure out if I'd like to do anything else, ANYTHING, and get it launched off the ground. 

I deserve to be a lot happier than I am.

And the working conditions are horrible. This needs to change. 

The Kingdom of Kindness doesn't need money. It's from the magic that happens when we assemble together, for when two or more are gathered, the Divine is Present. 

This is the wave of energy we are immersed in.

My work is like that.

It can change.

All of it can change.

It starts with our choices, our actions, and our perceptions.

Ross

Carla will have half the money she had, but twice the time will be available to her, due to her work situation.

Carla is hopeful, and also, working with me.

She is in a little bit of shock as she was told she would be working in her old capacity (eighty percent time) and 'possibly as low as fifty percent' weeks ago. It was only on Friday she learned that she WAS at fifty percent, and sharing a job with Esther. 

Let's see what she can do.

Let's see what we can accomplish together. 

A journey of one thousand miles begins with a first step. I think that was Lao Zhu who said it.

Everything up here is going well. I want you to keep your wits about you and to have patience. Focus on the inner part, your intuition and your discernment. It will serve you in the long run as the changes are taking place. In your world and in ours...

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Aloha and Mahalos,

Namaste,

Peace,

Ross and Carla

The Couple who are very much in love <3