A physician who is intuitive and a Reiki Master/Teacher discusses healing from 'the front lines' of the mind-body connection in the hospital setting.
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Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Assistance From the Devas and Faeries Now
Alternative news had two BIG headlines today. The first is from Gaia Portal: http://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/expansion-of-gaia-connection-portals-occurs-at-this-time/
The Devics and the Faerie Realm are working furiously towards planetary liberation. Their project will be complete by 6.6.2103.
The Other is from 2012portal.blogspot.com:
the Compression Wormhole is Now Operational.
If you have been following the status closely, there has been a lot going on 'behind the scenes' and also 'between the Higher and Lower Dimensions', again, Higher and Lower reflect 'Vibrational States' of increasing frequency. It is not judgmental in any way--all beings are here at this time with a Purpose that is right on track. No matter how 'lost' it may appear to you at the moment, you will get tapped on the shoulder to do your part when the time is right. It will happen. And you will 'know' what to do. That is how I wound up making vortexes, for example. I just 'know'.
Today a very big tap just came to me--of all times for it to happen--when it was late and I was washing the dishes after putting my boy to bed...
Lu Deva.
I recalled how my nannu (Sicilian for 'Grandfather') used to call me that. It is almost like Devics--many Devas...It is pronounced 'Day-Vah'.
I translated it in Italian to English on Google Translate. Nothing. Sicilian is an obscure old language indeed! I used to get called Da Caruzza and also Cucuzza because they were close to my Italian name, which is Carluzza. I asked my nana what they meant? Da Caruzza is the little one you worry about and want to take care of. Cucuzza is a long, green Italian squash I grew up eating. They are three feet long and about four inches diameter. For years I thought they had been calling me a pretty bright green summer squash. What I didn't know or understand at the time, and I am sure that they had not meant it, is that colloquial Sicilian uses that term to designate someone whose mind is as useless as the cucuzza squash. It is an insult, and I never knew it. It must be like 'gordo' in Latin homes; a term of endearment?
Lu Deva?
I looked it up on Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deva_(Buddhism)
Apparently it is a good thing. Devas are non-human spiritual entities who are invisible to the eye. They span a range from Higher Devas who are formless and meditate on hard-to-fathom topics, to Lower Devas who fight each other and give advice to people on earth, they are THAT close to being human. They have passion. Devas can 'die' after a predetermined lifespan that can stretch out into eons of our time. Then there is this quote in the article: Furthermore, you should recollect the devas: 'There are the devas of the Four Great Kings, the devas of the Thirty-three,..."[2] [196. Dh.] "Feeders of joy we shall be like the radiant gods (devas)."
Now it starts to get more involved. I saw this number sequence today 333. I saw it on license plates. Not only that, I saw it THREE different times on three different cars.
According to Doreen Virtue, 333 means 'you are completely surrounded, protected, loved, and guided by benevolent Ascended Masters.'
Here is what I think is going on:
The Compression Breakthrough is when the 'golden spike' of the 'transcontinental railroad' linking the Archon/Cabal-free subsurface Resistance Fighters to the non-human spiritual Light Warriors who are actively removing the Non-Physical Archons of the Etheric planes. When these two forces touch, then the two will combine and Victory of the Light will happen.
Cobra, of 2012Portal.blogspot.com, and a point source for information about the Resistance Movement for the Liberation of the Planet, posted that 'The Compression Wormholes are Now Operational'.
What I 'see' in my minds' eye, is that many spiritual Light Warriors from all over the cosmos are able to travel through this Wormhole and assist with the Planetary Liberation Process, namely, the removal of the Dark forces and dismantling The Veil. Gaia is a 'prison planet', and there is a whole other blog post on that there which is outside the scope of this post. (check the Yoda series of posts to learn why--search 'yoda' in the search box and you will find the entire series.)
The Faeries, who have retreated to the Higher Realms due to vibrational incompatibility with the third dimension, and the Devas, who are also in the same boat, are coming in through the wormholes in masses and are using their energy to clear the rest of the archons out of the space between the etheric planes and the subsurface. Several weeks ago, Cobra posted that the below-surface region had been cleared energetically, and furthermore that the Veil was only as thick as one hundred feet in some places.
So...think Positive thoughts! Sit back and enjoy knowing that a great deal is going on for all of our benefit. In every way, I am helping to make the Victory a reality. I blog. I pray. I blast the freaking-awesome Platinum Ray just about everywhere I can think of, most recently, all cell phone towers on my carrier! Why not? It can't hurt. I study. I reflect. I am in constant meditation and connected to Source in all that do.
Today I had one patient look up at me in the middle of her 'twilight sleep' procedure on the back, and say, 'You are AWESOME!' (I wonder if it's contagious? ; ) ) She special requested me to do her follow up case, the definitive one after todays test, tomorrow. The PACU invited me to speak on 'Anesthesia 101 for Recovery Room Nurses' in May. I was chosen out of all the anesthesiologists to speak. I attuned another patient to Reiki 1, to help with general spiritual awakening enough to find a path to health using intuition in the fight against the disease for which the surgery was needed. Although I dropped my cell phone, and it broke, I was able to remain calm and make things better after work. My new phone is an iPhone 5, in white, and in a silver metal Mophie extended battery case. It is a total example of how Spirit 'raises the volume to get your attention to what they are trying to say'.
Two months ago I picked up from Spirit, 'buy a new phone'.
Three weeks ago, I went to the carrier and considered buying one, but I had to wait until August for an upgrade. I didn't want to add another line.
Today, my phone smacked glass-down on the floor as I was bending over. It slipped right out of my scrub pocket. The image was smeared, and I could not unlock it. Fortunately, everything was backed up on cloud, and I was able to restore most of the information onto the new phone.
I had been guided by Spirit in December to make my screen saver, of all things, be a giant, blue crashing wave with a left break. I was like, 'okay. I don't get it, but, okay.'
I didn't want to switch phones because I learned it was a symbol of, um, someone I care about. I liked it because of the prediction I had faith and didn't understand at first but now I know. It was a sign meant, 'this person is from God and is okay.'
Well, guess what? I never knew about the 'restore' function until today. And my wave is right where it belongs on my white iPhone...I also have my R2-D2 text message alert on there, too.
The point is: there is a lot going on 'out there' that is pretty much out of our 'control' except when it comes to our attitudes, thoughts, and perceptions. It is by 'letting go' and 'surrendering to the process' Spirit guides us to our new 'one-size larger' Consciousness. It is gentle, almost imperceptible, growth, yet the results are beyond the imagination with just how wonderful they are!
I know this is a lot to 'digest', but it is important. So go ahead, have a 'tisane' or 'herbal tea' and enjoy. You will 'get it'; I have full confidence in you, your intuition, and your Guides.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Menehune Bob
This is a transcript of an actual conversation that happened in Ko Olina on April 7, 2012:
C: (there is a presence of menehune. I feel it. I am in a big hotel with lots of hidden menehune and mickey on the property).
M: I am the hidden one. The REAL one (in all of this fake). I found you. Your heart. It is pleasant. Pleasant and Hawai'ian. Aloha. I found my kind. I will bless it. (He heard me secure the room's energy with my crystal.) That (crystal) ain't from Tibet. Lemuria. That's where I grew up. And where I died. When it went flat. (sank). I am back to offer you my friendship. In the Light. I want a sign (to prove it).
C: Double Rainbow?
M: Not that. Too easy. Try something harder.
C: A whale?
M: Harder than that.
C: A one-leg-missing cricket.
M: Got it. I will send it to you on your path.
C: Menehune?
M: Bob. My name is Menehune Bob. Always go with this. Last name first, then Bob like in Asian Culture.
C: Bob?
B: Yes.
C: How can it be Hawai'i without geckos? (at the hotel)
B: Without the roaches?
C: Yes.
B: They spray. Lots and lots and lots of it. They are giving cancer to the masses. But no BUGS. As long as they spend their money here today. While on vacation. Everyone is fine with it.
C: I want organic.
B: Good luck finding that here. Laughs. Organic that is fake.
C: Like my tea in the silky bag?
B: Uh-huh (yes). You got it.
C: What to do about Spirit? (here in this fake hotel)
B: I will be there on attunement. (ed -I was going to teach a class this trip). I am Violet. Violet Flame. I will watch over you sometime.
C: Bob, if I was alive in Polynesia, Hawaii... ?
B: Hawayo Takata (winks). All the stuff in dreams (I send) will help you with your family. Stay UP.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Doctors Make Bad Patients
Yesterday I called the allergist who is helping us sort through the many allergies and sinus infections my boy has been experiencing since last October. Without antibiotics, he relapses and gets a terrible sinus infection again. Even with a three week break just to see if his immunity would kick in over the holidays, he got sicker and sicker until asthma started to kick in. I had to take two weeks off from work. Unpaid leave. No one else could get his medications right and keep the asthma under control. It was also difficult since he would get afraid and cry, which made his asthma worse. I had to distract him and keep him content.
We got an appointment. We had a three-thirty time. We showed up at three-ten; we were early.
You know that part at the front desk where they take your copayment and your insurance card? It is called, in the business, 'the wallet biopsy'. I have to fill out those forms just like you. I dislike it.
So we sat in the waiting room and waited. We waited long enough for my boy to give me back his iPad, he was that bored.
We went into the examination room, and waited. We waited an hour. The doctor was frustrated because the boy did not improve after three weeks of antibiotics were done. I also misunderstood the plan from last time, and did not schedule intradermal allergy testing during the three weeks of antibiotics. The plan was for sinus x-ray (CT scanning is actually better, per my ENT friends), blood test for immune deficiency (Ig A deficiency, Kartagener's disease would have that too--but also situs inversus), and spirometry (blowing on a tube to measure for asthma and other lung disease).
I explained politely that I work a lot. I have a hard time getting off from work. And would it be possible to get more antibiotics, because he can't stay home this week and is just going to get sicker while we sort these things out? I also asked, politely, if there was any way we could get the spirometry test done today too? We could wait.
And wait we did.
I got on the phone to call radiology at the adjacent hospital to see if I needed an appointment for the films or could walk in--while we waited for the spirometry technician, I was on hold so long I took the 'call back' option which is like FastPass at the Land. Once on the phone, I felt like I was in an alternate Universe. The radiology clerk kept thinking I was at some clinic five miles away.
No, I am LOOKING at the Hospital; it is within walking distance from the medical office I am in.
My boy had gone from spinning in the doctors' chair to jumping on the scale just outside the spirometry room. Ever since he heard the word 'blood test' and 'needle' he could not control himself and got pseudo ADD. I would say, 'Stop it' and he would say, 'okay' and then he would do exactly what I said to stop doing again three seconds later.
It was having to schedule the spirometry test six months ago that made us stop with the work-up.
It was the nature of my work, and the unpredictable hours, that made us go to Urgent Care as our Family Doctor (they combine both).
It wasn't until the owner of the urgent care started over-testing to make more money that we stopped going to Primary Care all together.
That's right. I don't have a doctor. I am a doctor, but due to my scheduling at work, and how doctors like to double-book three months in advance, I never have the chance to go when I am sick. I have not found a pediatrician for my son for that same reason. They want an 'initial visit' --read, two hundred dollars--before you can go to them when you are sick. It takes one hour and a whole day off from work! I fired them too. (Once I tried sending Dad--he couldn't fill out the questionnaires and didn't have a copy of the insurance card for our son. I pay for all of the medical care. All of it. Even though the court said he would pay half of all the medical expenses. How do you collect? Ew.)
At the hospital, at the x-ray booth, I had to fill out more forms and undergo a second 'wallet biopsy'. I initialed and signed almost as many times as I did when I bought my car. All the little highlighted spaces on things I simply did not read.
The x-ray tech was quick, but then stalled about thirty minutes on the computer, trying to contact the radiologist with telemedicine (to look at the film remotely), and also to send the report/call the office of our doctor. I had to go look at a picture of him to make sure it got sent to the right place. Then the blood draw lady was waiting for us when we got out. She was nice but made me sit in a chair across the room instead of touching my kid while she poked him. There was a series of colored dots randomly placed on the ceiling; when he screamed she said, 'Find the red dot!'. He was faster than anyone she had ever worked with, and ran out of dots before the procedure was done. She had to improvise.
After this, he wanted the cafeteria for dinner. Yup. More Hospital Food!
I am realizing that for Raw Vegans there are next to no food options out there in standardized places. As my son tied his shoes outside Starbucks in the morning, I scanned the menus on two restaurants next door--one fine food, another a pub. Every entree had meat. Or cheese. At Target for lunch, we were both starving. He took the last cheese pizza. The next one would have been seven minutes. We didn't have seven minutes. I took the pepperoni and picked the pepperoni off. At the cafeteria, I had spinach blend, which I hate RAW--spinach doesn't agree with me, garbanzos, beets, tomatoes, and carrots with oil and vinegar. None of it was organic. I took a yoplait lemon because I needed something. It was the sugar and not the sweetener kind. I couldn't join my son in burger, fries and coke. It just didn't appeal to my appetite.
On the good side, all of the utensils and dinnerware were paper and recyclable.
Have you ever heard of a 'decree'? Here is a link explaining them. You can make them, too. Heaven listens, and the Universe provides. http://pleiadedolphininfos.blogspot.com/2013/04/andy-bojarski-create-your-world-through.html
I just made a decree for everyone to have a chance to heal using the best technology available in the Universe.
I like my job doing anesthesia. I love helping people. But in my heart of hearts, the entire health care system is in need of radical change.
No wonder why everyone wants Integrative Medicine and Alternative Medicine! The waits are interminable, the scheduling is too slow, and insurance is a nightmare!
Did you know that the family has retained an attorney to see to it that our mother's health care needs are met? A lawyer has to work against her health care system who is tired of spending money. She has been their patient in different facilities since the day after Christmas. She has almost died three times.
It's that bad.
So make a decree. Any decree. Stand back and wait for it to happen.
It will.
I guarantee it.
And while you are waiting, be sure to give yourself a great big hug from me and my boy and my family and mother. Thank you all for your caring support through these difficult times.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Monday, April 29, 2013
Genius A and Genius B
Today I had the delightful chance to watch the interaction between two people I am lucky enough to know. Would you like to share with me?
Let me begin. There are actually THREE 'characters':
Genius A: my eight-year-old boy who made Reiki Master at age seven. He has incredible retention of any fact read or mentioned to him. He is also a competitive swimmer, and excels at Martial Art. He is in a special program at school because of his gifts. He is an expert on whales. He is a medium, and has seen Walt the last time he was at Disneyland. (I have too. I blogged about it, Buena Vista something--use the search box)
Genius B: a devout Buddhist who lives a humble life, works hard at what he does, and is recognized internationally for his work in the Raw Vegan Humanese Fine Cuisine. He invented the term, 'Humanese'. He has taken a vow of silence.
Genius C: me. I have an I.Q. in the low to mid 150's. Let me summarize my academics as 'I am Saraswatti on steroids' spending most of my life in academics to learn and to teach anesthesia. I am also certified as a Psychic, a Medium and a Healer. I am a Karuna Reiki master. My work in the unification of traditional and energy medicine is my passion. People world-wide are following this work and welcoming it. Guess what? My boy is more intelligent than I am! And fun,too.
So now you know the 'characters'.
Let me set the scene:
Let me begin. There are actually THREE 'characters':
Genius A: my eight-year-old boy who made Reiki Master at age seven. He has incredible retention of any fact read or mentioned to him. He is also a competitive swimmer, and excels at Martial Art. He is in a special program at school because of his gifts. He is an expert on whales. He is a medium, and has seen Walt the last time he was at Disneyland. (I have too. I blogged about it, Buena Vista something--use the search box)
Genius B: a devout Buddhist who lives a humble life, works hard at what he does, and is recognized internationally for his work in the Raw Vegan Humanese Fine Cuisine. He invented the term, 'Humanese'. He has taken a vow of silence.
Genius C: me. I have an I.Q. in the low to mid 150's. Let me summarize my academics as 'I am Saraswatti on steroids' spending most of my life in academics to learn and to teach anesthesia. I am also certified as a Psychic, a Medium and a Healer. I am a Karuna Reiki master. My work in the unification of traditional and energy medicine is my passion. People world-wide are following this work and welcoming it. Guess what? My boy is more intelligent than I am! And fun,too.
So now you know the 'characters'.
Let me set the scene:
- Genius A is home from school with a relapse of a chronic sinus condition. He goes with me.
- Genius B is at his office in his place of work.
- I have the day off. At the request of the owner of the restaurant I came to 'show how my heart machine works'. (I gave them an AED because the owner had twice the highest value of triglycerides that I have ever seen clinically after travel to France. The only reason it is normal is that this person trusts Genius B and ate raw-vegan only for thirty days like he advised. )
We are in the empty restaurant, owners, me, my boy, and the sister-in-law of an owner. I open the AED and trainer pad boxes, figure it out, and give the demonstration on the teaching module. I explain how this 'buys time' between the 911 call and the arrival of paramedics to the scene; it is the standard of care. I did NOT mention that the last three times I have taken yoga on Saturday there, the elderly ladies have made me jolt out of 'yoga mode' and go into 'doctor mode' due to their distress while on the yoga mat. They were fine, but the loudness or their complaints and the sudden 'need to rest' had me on full alert with my emergency skills. This place is full of not-so-healthy people looking for a cure, and until they obtain it, there is a chance that one of them might need an AED. If I save one life, the purchase is worth it, without a doubt.
I did not say, 'This is for you' to anyone. I said, 'this is for your spouse because he keeps eating meat'. That got their interest and 'buy in'! Everyone did chest compressions on the teaching 'patient' to the 'trainer commands' on the AED. They stuck on the pads, and pushed the flashing orange button when the machine said it was time to push. My boy even fell on the ground as my 'Annie' and was not 'okay' when I gently shook his shoulder. I raised up his shirt to show how much exposure is needed for the pads to stick. My friends are so innocent to medical emergencies that they wanted to stick the pads on my son--I quickly said, 'No!' (Live pads would kill someone to get a shock while the heart is beating, and also hurt very much. I was not going to take a chance with the trainer ones.)
This was done soon, and soon Chef Genius B went back to his office. As I put everything away, I needed a sharpie to clearly label the boxes. I asked my boy to find one. Chef had it, and let him borrow it. When my son returned it, he didn't come back. I checked to see if he was annoying Chef...
And this is when the best interaction I have seen in a long time began--Genius A with Genius B. Genius A is full of energy, innocence, and Light. There is no guile anywhere in him. Genius B, is hyper-polite, doesn't speak, and full of more Light. Genius A looks up to Genius B; I think Genius B also really enjoys Genius A, too.
C: A is drinking green smoothies now for breakfast.
B: fist bumps A.
A: we ordered a new Vitamix.
B: (shows swirling motion with finger, and gives thumbs up, smiles)
C: our green smoothies with the old blender are a little too chunky...
There is a pause. Spirit wants me to ask Chef about an upcoming event at the end of May in the area. His expertise is needed, and hopefully he will be interested in the event.
I also have a pendulum in my pocket that is meant for him. It 'spoke' while I was buying pendulums for the two children that were described in 'Fear of Reiki'. It is to help him in a new venture, so Spirit can assist when decision-making that is expensive and long-lasting comes up (if that is his Free Will choice to consult the pendulum). Either A or I could show anyone how to use it (see post Pendulum 101).
I just couldn't go there. Not yet. Something watching the energy of the two in the office inspired me...
C: to B--have you ever seen The Annoying Orange?
B: shakes head no. meantime A gets very excited, and directs B to the YouTube (at end of post)
A: may I sit down?
B: nods yes. A pulls up a chair in front of the computer.
we watch and laugh together, well, Chef smiles and relaxes. We watch the first episode, Saw 1, Saw 2, and Onion Ring of the Annoying Orange series. During Onion ring part, we see this:
A: to B-do you like onion rings? (totally innocent of what raw vegan means, figures it's vegetarian)
B: looks at me, then him.
A: have you EVER had them?
B: nods yes.
A: I think they are good, I've had them too.
the next episode is 'We Will Mock You'. It sounds like 'we will rock you'. Chef taps his foot and smiles big over the blender. A and I laugh over it too.
the next episode is 'We Will Mock You'. It sounds like 'we will rock you'. Chef taps his foot and smiles big over the blender. A and I laugh over it too.
C: (smiling and laughing, putting my arm around A) to B -- welcome to our world!
What kind of world is this, when a child can show a Raw Vegan Chef the wonder of the kitchen comedy of the Annoying Orange? What kind of time is it when an anesthesiologist who was also an ACLS instructor can share life-saving skills with the leading raw/vegan restaurant that brought 'food is medicine' to new heights? And where people who eat onion rings, and those who choose not to, can laugh together and enjoy each other very much?
It is a world where Love Reigns and Angels are normal. Today was the first day I had where both feet were right in the Higher Dimension. There was no ego. We are one, united in service to the health of others, sharing our gifts with each other for an hour that gave me hope and joy.
I had grown so weary of having one foot in the third dimension and the other in the stars! I couldn't bear it! Today I laughed and got my first big sigh of relief.
I hope this story gives you a smile and lots of hope as well.
Here is the link to Annoying Orange. You should have seen the smile on Chef's face at the end. It was a priceless 'photo' I will keep in my back pocket for a long time. Be sure to watch and you will understand why...
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Charlie and Edgar Mo'o
This is a gecko on Big Island
Yesterday when I woke up, I felt it was time to look at the Hawaiian Oracle card. My last card, Puhi, felt about 'done' and there was more message for me that day.
I looked it up:
Mo'o -- Lizard
Challenge: INDEPENDENCE
Way Through: MYTHIC POWER
Gift: FEELING
O Kauhi, ka hala'a pua, maka a lani,
Ika maka o ke Akua
The body lies smothered in ferns;
Thine eye shines on high like a star.
Imagery:
With his belly lying across the warm rock that holds him so firm, the eye of Mo'o is alert. Around him the rocks are alive with meaning. The air is suffused with an amber glow and the Pleiades hang high in the sky.
Interpretation:
Mo'o is old. Mo'oinanea, 'Self-reliant Mo'o', was the first child of Kanehunamoku. Drawing this card means you are independent. The more time you spend outside, the better. Dragging your belly on the earth is good for you, because your 'old bones' remember a lot. He mo'o, he pili pohuku, he pili la'au a he pili lep. 'It is a lizard, for he clings to rocks, clings to trees, clings to the earth.'
But, don't cling to the old ways too much. While your desire to preserve the knowledge of the ancestors is admirable, it shouldn't be an excuse for you not to grow. Set aside some time to be spontaneous.
Mythology:
Mo'o actually means 'tradition': Lizard is the link. Through his jeweled eye he connects the earth and the stars. Through his ancient lineage he joins the past and the future. Through his long belly he holds the mythic power of rick that remembers a time of unity. Hawai'i was originally one island, part of the bright continent of Lemuria. Since the flood, only some rocks remain - the islands of Polynesia, the mountaintops of the land of light. Ua naha na moku. "Broken away are the islands."
Once there were dragons. When the goddess Hi'iaka was traveling through Hawai'i, she encountered many hazards. Traveling through Ko'olau on the island of O'ahu, she met an ancestor of hers, a 'kupua', or 'shape shifter', known as Kauhi ke i maka o ka lani, "Kauhi of the eyes of the heaven.' Kauhi was part of the island's rock and, alas, his eye sockets were dry. Hi'iaka chanted:
He Akua ia la, 'a'ohe 'ike mai.
O komo luahi nui no ka maka.
Ke ala hei - E ala,
E ala, e alla mai ama, e!
E alla e, Hi ka'a lani!
E alla e, He'oilo ua i ka lani!
E alla e, Ma'u wahine a Makali'i.
E alla e!
He surely is a god, yet hears he not.
Fierceness gleams from his eye.
Now he looks,
now turns -- and to me!
Awake, thou explorer of heaven!
Awake, thou sender of Winter's rain!
The spouse, Ma'u of Winter, is night.
The time of arising is come!
Kauhi does indeed wake up, but he loses motivation and becomes a new rock. Kauhi can be seen today on a precipitous hiking trail that is named after him. Some call him 'the crouching lion', perhaps showing Mo'o's shape-changing qualities.
Illumination:
The time of forgetting is over, the time of remembering is here. The long belly of Mo'o helps us reconnect our individual islands to earth - through feeling. Hi'iaka asked her ancestor to wake up and bring rain and moisture to the earth. Makali'i, the spouse of Ma'u, 'damp', is the sender of Winter's rain. The Makahiki festival of storytelling, feasting, and lovemaking took place during the welcome cold winter months when the Pleiades were in sight.
Mo'o is the explorer of heaven. Attracting Mo'o means you have an association with the Pleiades, which, themselves, need to be reunited. According to Tahitian mo'o, or 'legend', the Pleiades were originally one star so brilliant that it made Tane (Kane) angry. He chased Makali'i, who fled to the other side of a stream. Sirius drained the waters, Tane flung the star Aldebaran and broke Matariki (Makali'i) into six little pieces.
We reconnect by remembering our mythology and awakening our emotions, for we need to see with moist eyes. Having deep feeling for the past in the lesson of Mo'o, as is awakening to the truth of our current state. That is the way to reunite the islands through our sacred journey.
-------------------------
You would think I would reflect on this message throughout the day, right?
I did not.
So Heaven 'sent' me a reminder--Charlie. As I worked in the garden, and I came in the house, who was on the screen of the sliding glass door but a big, fat, lizard! In Hawaii, all lizards that get in the house are named 'Charlie' according to a nurse friend of mine that grew up on the island of Oahu. You can call them that too--Charlie--any time you find them in your house on mainland too!
My house is backwards on the screen and the sliding glass door. Closing the glass would have locked poor Charlie in because the screen is on the inside! So I tapped on the screen talking to him, gently trying to get Charlie to move. He would not budge. Any harder a tap and it would have been a big fall for him because he was right at my eye level. I quickly got a small plastic bin, scooped him in it, and let him go.
Somehow I remembered to go 'take a date in the sunshine with turtle' after that. I still did not make the connection. When I was done lying on my belly in on the Mexican blanket, and also on my back, the turtle seemed 'done' with the whole sunlight thing. So I went back into the house.
After I played Clair de Lune a few times, there was a ring of the doorbell. It was time for our son to come back. Nine times out of ten this child is hungry, cranky, and exhausted. I politely asked to finish my piece on the piano as the boy listened. It was difficult to play for he was face down on the couch and acting very much like Lilo in Lilo and Stitch. But I did it.
Then came the questions. Are you hungry? No. Are you sleepy? No. Can I get you anything? No.
Out came a tirade about how I never take him to Disneyland or anything!
Shocked, I politely but firmly said, 'Your weekend with your father is his time for coming up for plans for fun with you. When you come back it is not my time to think of these things. It is time to get ready for our week.' What was it that happened with your father to upset you this time?
His father had promised to show him how to do something all weekend, but didn't and iced his injured knee the whole time instead of paying attention to his son. I am sure 'paying attention' is 'different' in the father, and the son who only sees him according to the custody, and has 'father hunger' like most children who are raised in two homes. I asked again about breakfast, when it was, and how much he ate. Mind you, at school this boy eats at eleven forty-five daily, but his father who is on the 'late' clock, gives him breakfast at ten and nothing else until he drops him off with me at two.
Sure enough, he had last eaten 'hours ago', and his blood sugar was low. I made strawberry-banana-mango smoothie ('this is good, mom!)', warmed up the other half of the breakfast burrito, and gave lots of fresh organic strawberries. (I think his micronutrients were depleted). He perked up.
I had been deep watering in the back yard, and had a ton of laundry to fold. We went downstairs. He wanted to squirt the hose in the atrium to clean the floor (I never do this. My grandfather Nannu, who is reincarnated as my boy, did this all the time. Nannu and my son also both like peaches, make the same noises to joke and get attention, walk the same walk to get jokes, and are very good with people. Both are also the same build and are meant to be over six feet.). I said, 'I will sweep the leaves up for you first'. As I swept, out came a lizard.
What happened next amazed me. It is a powerful example of the teaching power of the child: he picked the lizard up.
I never had learned how to pick up a lizard. Always was afraid of the bite. I love lizards. But not their bite. My father always picked them up for me. As he gently extracted the lizard from its hiding place, I showed him how a lizard likes to be held. Since we already had a Charlie, I named this one Edgar, for Edgar Cayce. He looked like an Edgar.
My son let me hold Edgar. I was delighted! I kissed Edgar and he opened his mouth after I gave the kiss, and looked at me like he was going to kiss me back when he had the chance. Edgar was beautiful, with a jewel-like eye, gorgeous dark green and brown patterning on his back. And as I tickled his chin I saw a flash of brilliant blue! As I talked to him I realized maybe I need a new baby or something, because I was making a big fuss and Edgar was enjoying it very much. He is such a good lizard! So special and precious! I was sounding like a mom again...and the boy was laughing and saying, 'It feels good to be back home! I am always happier here when I am with you.' Then he asked if we could keep him in a cage in the house?
I would not let us keep him as a pet, despite the boy's insistence. All lizards I have ever kept from the wild died in a few days. I did give Edgar back to him to hold for as long as he likes. So as I planted strawberries in the back, Edgar had the ride of his life! Boys don't hold still. Ever. And hands holding lizards move around a lot too. 'Don't move him like that!' I exclaimed, 'He is going to throw up! Have you ever seen a lizard throw up? You will get lots of old bugs on you.'
We laughed at the thought of a lizard throwing up.
Some time later, it was time to let Edgar go. We noticed two streaks of the same brilliant blue on his belly. He looked funny clinging to a tall geranium stem. We decided to feed him a worm, and picked him back up. I went to the compost, and dug out a nice fat worm for him. Edgar didn't eat. He got smart. Once he figured out where the worms were at, he jumped right into the garden where I found the worm!
You would have thought I would have made the connection between Charlie, Edgar, and Mo'o by now. I didn't. Not until waking up. Sometimes Spirit takes a while to 'filter in' and get the message. As always, the message is fun and very gentle.
Mo'o.
Be sure to get some time in the sunshine for yourself today, and think of Mo'o.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
(Material is in The Hawaiian Oracle, Animal Spirit Guides from the Land of Light, by Rima A Morrell, Phd. I highly recommend these cards.)
Sunday, April 28, 2013
My Date With Turtle
Rafaella is my turtle I have had since 1992. I was lonely for pets while I was a freshman in medical school at UC San Diego. One day I ditched class, a late-afternoon lecture that was boring to me, and drove out to Escondido to a reptile store to get her. I bought her and also Michaelangelo, and I named them for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Rafaella used to be Rafael, but then I saw something under the tail one time that I thought meant he was a she, so I switched the name. Last year I discovered that all females lay eggs. Rafaella had never laid an egg. Furthermore those 'parts' in turtles were actually 'male', but I could not bring myself to change the name I have called 'her' for over twenty years.
Turtles need sunlight to maintain calcium balance. Otherwise the shell gets soft and is at risk for fungal disease. Snakes, who eat live prey, have none of this because they get all the calcium they need in their whole food.
So on a bright sunny day, when I am at home, I get the Mexican Blanket. I put the turtle in a plastic bin, and we hang out. Since it was warm, today I gave Rafaella some water in the bin to allow swimming and keep the temperature not too hot. As you recall, reptiles gain all their warmth from the sun to run their metabolism, but with too much sun they do not have a way to cool except for seeking shade and burrowing underground. I did not want 'cooked turtle' so I keep a careful watch the whole time.
Today I lay back and cleared my chakras. The combination of 'grounding' to earth element and also getting sunlight is like a Day Spa Special for my energy system.
If turtle needs sunlight, in some way, so may you. It can be for Vitamin D (on un-sunscreened skin for ten to fifteen minutes on hands, arms, and face). It can be for Vibration and Energy Healing. Remember that walking with bare feet on grass, earth, or sand will lower the blood pressure. This is because all of the negative ions 'ground' in conducting through your contact of feet to earth. If you are working to remain alkaline in your 'internal milieu' you might want to add sunlight and grounding to your daily health routine.
Aloha and Mahalo.
We have reached the all time high in monthly page views today. And there are two more days to go already! This is higher than December 2012 with all the interest in the predictions of the 21 and 'Are We Going To Die?' As more awaken, I want this blog to be a guide. Use the Search Box in the right hand corner to look up anything you would like to know. Galactics. Chakras. Medicine. What it is Like to be a patient. Even hospital food! There is RAW, and Vegan. And even why some should have meat (it is okay--it is in your DNA, there are some that truly need it, don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. Do be sure, though, to eat 'happy meat', not 'commercially farmed' anything if you do.)
This morning, I had cold cereal for breakfast. It was awful! And the Panettone bread I finally had a slice of? I couldn't enjoy it. My taste has changed to craving vegan raw. I do not want wine with dinner, and in no way do I desire any mixed drinks, for the lowering effect they have on my vibration. I even skip coffee. Yes, that's right, my only joy through all training, my Sicilian birthright to dark espresso. I can take it or leave it. Without the headache! I have gone RAW gradually for three months. And every time I try to 'go back' it reinforces with my Vibration why I go to make the change. As I 'look back', I realize it is something I don't miss at all.
Give yourselves the freedom to explore your new Energy. Heal your hearts. Enjoy your new found Freedom.
Heaven is coming to Earth. One day for all of us, not just myself, you will understand what my Turtle is communicating, with Rafaella's mind to your own. It will be that way with Spirit, and with me. Maybe I will not have need to write? Ah, but I adore it so!
Hold on to your hats and look forward to the coming changes. They are Special and Precious. Just like you are to all of us, your brothers and sisters who work for the Light.
Darkness is on its way out. Forever.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
We Do The Best We Can
I made these cannoli for Christmas two years ago; Nana was very pleased.
One day I want to make the cassata just like her masterpiece.
Yesterday I went to spend time with my Nana Angelina, my Sicilian Grandmother. She is in a nursing home, in the residential section. Her house was sold to pay for her long-term care. Nana is ninety, and has Alzheimer's that is end-stage. They wanted us to put her on Hospice, but we said no because her caregivers like her and she is doing well because she is familiar with them. We did not want to add 'another layer of care' as they described. Since then, I have learned that utilization of Hospice care by patients who are state-funded has gone up over two hundred percent in the last three years. It is a big money-maker for nursing homes and home-health care programs. Use your head when you decide whether to enroll your loved one on Hospice or not--it could be a scam. Let your Heart Center direct you to the proper decision--my sister and I 'smelled a rat' and said 'no' from our hearts because of it. Nana is still no code, or DNR, according to my mother's wishes when she signed for her admission papers to the place.
I came in at four in the afternoon, and found her distressed. She was saying in Italian she couldn't understand why her son had disrespected her by ignoring her after all the money she gave him? She wanted us to make plans to go out to eat and buy him a big steak so he would come. She also asked me to write an 'important letter' to get him. She said she calls for him all day, and he never comes. (He and his girlfriend spent all of nana's money, and were starving nana to inherit the house sooner--the family AND the state-- intervened).
To distract her, I asked, 'Would you like to smell something beautiful?' and I took out my vial of Chakra from around my neck. She smiled when she sniffed it, and said, 'It is good.' I put a small dot of it with my finger on her third eye. It stopped her train of thought and allowed me to change the conversation. I showed her pictures of the nespoli and peaches and flowers in the garden. I showed her my boy getting his next belt in his Martial Art. I hugger her and kissed her until she was happy and smiling again. I even got her beautiful energy of love in her smile on camera, too. One day I will share it, but not now, for her privacy. She is not the kind of person who would want her image all over the internet. She is most modest in every way.
I also gave Reiki as I touched her arm and put lotion on her hands and face. I didn't let her know I was doing it, I just did. I gave the Transition symbol, like I always do. Two months ago, Blessed Mother asked me to give Nana to her, and put her hand in hers. I did, and it has taken the worry from me on how much time she has left. I know who will be with her when it is her time, and I trust completely.
Her tray arrived at five fifteen. It is only blended foods and thickened liquids. Everything smelled terrible.I tried feeding nana, but I was not good at it. She hated everything. I put a small amount in each spoonful, made a big 'Ahhh!' to get her to open her mouth, and it went in. The blended meat stank. She said it was 'too hard' and spit out the meat residue into a napkin. She has difficulty swallowing. It was scary to help her drink because I was not sure how much was going in, and I didn't want to give too much. She told me to get the nurse. I apologized and went for help.
While we waited, I thanked her for the good times, and talked about the foods she used to make me when I was little and she watched me. The risu (a risotto) she made me every day for lunch which I ate with delight. The orange julius. The toast. The tiny bottles of purple grape juice she had in the door of the refrigerator just for me. Then she looked at me and asked, 'how many eggs do you want?'. She asked me that every morning, making me soft-boiled eggs where I would dip little pieces of bread into the yolks. I felt a glimmer of joy and said my part, 'I want three!' (she was always trying to get me to eat better, for I was too thin. I marveled at how our roles in life had reversed.)
Then I started crying.
She asked, why are you crying?
I said 'I wish I was a little girl again. Your home was the most wonderful place for me. You kept it so clean and welcoming. I always felt warm and safe. You are the only one that ever understood me Nana. If you had not been good to me when I was with you, everything else in my life was so hard I would have become a mess! If it wasn't for your example, and kindness, I never would have made it through medical school and been able to do what I do for people now. My job is dangerous, Nana. I could never have done it if it wasn't for you. I feel bad that now I work and I am not able to give you the kind
of care you had given to me. I don't stay at home. I have to support my son.'
She said, 'Don't cry, you'll make me cry. I never ever ever want for you to cry'.
I asked her, 'Nana, look at us now? What are we going to do? Having you here is terrible! (no one ever came to feed her. I was going to have to go ask again. The warm food was cold and the ice cream was melted.)'
She looked me straight in the eye and said, 'We do the best we can. We don't write the book. HE writes the book. But WE are the ones that go and live it. We do the best we can'.
The words were like soothing balm to my soul, especially hearing it from Nana, who I love so much. I stopped crying. I remembered how as a young mother she had to run to the caves when the bombing strikes hit in the war. Nannu was fighting in battle far away. There was not enough food, and my mother told me that Nana never ate. She always said she wasn't hungry. Everyone was starving. They even ate rats if they were lucky enough to catch them. They always had flour because her mother, Nana Peppina, owned a bakery. But when the neighbors came to the door to ask for flour, Nana had to lie because there was only enough for them. She was the strongest single mother of all, and these words must have helped her to survive.
I got a nurse to help feed her. Nana has to be reminded to swallow several times with every bite. When she stops eating, that is it. There will be no G-tube feedings like her roommate. The only thing keeping her alive is the kindness of her nurse. She takes the protein shake and adds ice cream to it to get her to eat. She knows Nana likes sweets.
I got a nurse to help feed her. Nana has to be reminded to swallow several times with every bite. When she stops eating, that is it. There will be no G-tube feedings like her roommate. The only thing keeping her alive is the kindness of her nurse. She takes the protein shake and adds ice cream to it to get her to eat. She knows Nana likes sweets.
After six, the sun was starting to go down. I have a long drive back home. Nana has a beautiful window next to her bed. I explained to her and the nurse who was feeding her that I wanted to get home before it was dark. Nana completely understood, and smiled. I kissed her, and said, 'Ciao!' She said, 'Ciao and Arrividerci'.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Green Light GO!
This is it guys. Welcome to the Golden Age. Namaste.
http://pleiadedolphininfos.blogspot.com/2013/04/it-can-start-divine-starting-signal-was.html
This link is from a channel of Archangel Raphael, translated from German into English.
Heaven has been ready to give a signal for the changes to begin. All of the angels, guides, and Ascended Masters (as well as the Agarthans and Galactics) have been waiting for the signal to start.
I am not sure how long it will take, but even still, my BOOKOFLUV is right on schedule, as well as the Surrender To Life's Lessons events in the back yard that were very multidimensional. I think Our Lady's most recent message alluded to it, too. The foot on the ground that wasn't like our clothing.
Enjoy, and know that for every person that is here on Gaia to witness the changes, hundreds more applied for the 'spot' to be here. The entire Universe is watching. And YOU are the amazing ones who are here to get the job done. It is no accident whatsoever you are alive Here and Now.
I couldn't have waited a day longer. Thank you thank you thank you Source for making this happen.
The Event is going to begin!
In Light,
Reiki Doc
http://pleiadedolphininfos.blogspot.com/2013/04/it-can-start-divine-starting-signal-was.html
This link is from a channel of Archangel Raphael, translated from German into English.
Heaven has been ready to give a signal for the changes to begin. All of the angels, guides, and Ascended Masters (as well as the Agarthans and Galactics) have been waiting for the signal to start.
I am not sure how long it will take, but even still, my BOOKOFLUV is right on schedule, as well as the Surrender To Life's Lessons events in the back yard that were very multidimensional. I think Our Lady's most recent message alluded to it, too. The foot on the ground that wasn't like our clothing.
Enjoy, and know that for every person that is here on Gaia to witness the changes, hundreds more applied for the 'spot' to be here. The entire Universe is watching. And YOU are the amazing ones who are here to get the job done. It is no accident whatsoever you are alive Here and Now.
I couldn't have waited a day longer. Thank you thank you thank you Source for making this happen.
The Event is going to begin!
In Light,
Reiki Doc
Surrender To Life's Lessons
This morning I woke up in the best of moods!
I wrote and came downstairs. I made a smoothie with lemon balm from the garden, basil, and pineapple. With some kale thrown in for good measure! I sat down to read the paper and saw why my Vietnamese friend and her husband are not free to go to the patient garden with me this afternoon like we had tentatively planned. It wasn't just that their daughter was flying in from Chicago. It was because this is Black April, the anniversary of the fall of Saigon. My friends and colleagues are boat people.
I felt a wave of guilt.
When I was in school, these people came. It made the papers and the news stations said we didn't know what to do with them. I had no CLUE why anyone would want to leave their country--I was too young. I remember seeing them at school in awful clothes, and so skinny! A whole extended family would move in to one apartment, and everyone would share the rent together. We never had seen anything like it.
It wasn't until I was an anesthesia attending that one of my residents told me this story that I understood the horror of what the boat people faced:
I wrote and came downstairs. I made a smoothie with lemon balm from the garden, basil, and pineapple. With some kale thrown in for good measure! I sat down to read the paper and saw why my Vietnamese friend and her husband are not free to go to the patient garden with me this afternoon like we had tentatively planned. It wasn't just that their daughter was flying in from Chicago. It was because this is Black April, the anniversary of the fall of Saigon. My friends and colleagues are boat people.
I felt a wave of guilt.
When I was in school, these people came. It made the papers and the news stations said we didn't know what to do with them. I had no CLUE why anyone would want to leave their country--I was too young. I remember seeing them at school in awful clothes, and so skinny! A whole extended family would move in to one apartment, and everyone would share the rent together. We never had seen anything like it.
It wasn't until I was an anesthesia attending that one of my residents told me this story that I understood the horror of what the boat people faced:
- This anesthesiologist-in-training, an M.D., was only one year old when they crossed on the boat. She was very sick. Had fevers. People on the boat told the mom to throw the baby off the boat because she was going to just die any way.
I looked at her with new eyes after her sharing that. She is now one to heal her people. And our people too.
I went downstairs to uncover the bird. And mama mouse looked funny. She was tending to one baby, and really rubbing it a lot with her paws and nibbling it and cleaning it. I looked closer. The baby stopped moving.
I got the tweezers out, the long ones, picked it up and noticed a gangrenous foot. That is how pet mice die--sepsis from a foot injury. It is called 'bumblefoot' and you have to look for it every day. Then I noticed the blood on the neck. The mom had bit it. Was the mom doing euthanasia for its suffering? I placed it on a piece of plastic, and just sat with it. I gave Reiki. I sat next to the heater so it would not feel cold. It was guppy breathing. That is not good. I went upstairs to take a movie of guppy breathing, for educational purposes. By that time, the baby mouse had seizure activity, then the tail relaxed, and then it was still.
I went in the garden and picked flowers and buried it. I placed a big shamrock plant on top out of the pot. I named the baby 'Patty'. I went back in to the mouse cage and looked for any other corpses. There was one, about two days old. I buried that one too.
While I was in the back yard, I saw a spirit. It was a civil war army officer, or something like it. I asked who he was? He was a rancher and dressed like that to keep people in line on the ranch. He showed me what the area looked like back in his time. It was so open and free. I really liked it. Then he went away. Movement in the lawn caught my attention next. It was a gopher! I watched him for a long time, tugging at grass. It was the common area, so I didn't care about 'the lawn' or anything. I just laughed and thought, 'So, YOU are the one that has been eating my herbs!'. There were hummingbirds too. The trees had a presence that I felt, an intelligence and a message that was communicated to me. It was very 5D. Apparently, when they are ready, others are going to start having experiences like this too.
Because my Vietnamese friends met in music school, and were classical piano majors, I did something I had been wanting to do for a long time. I dug out my piano music and played Clair De Lune by Claude Debussy. I started playing at ten, and my piano teacher encouraged me to become a music major myself. But I was all about science, and would have none of it. I just enjoyed playing. As the years went by, I played less and less. Motherhood completely destroyed it. As a single mother you can NOT sit and play. There are interruptions. The kid bangs on the keys and your hands. You can't leave them alone. I was so rusty. But my soul was glad to have my piano back (our son was with Dad's weekend). One day, my friends will invite me to see their concert grand piano. I have dreamed of my own since I was a little girl. It is so nice to share an interest like that together.
Blessed Mother requested that I promise Her that I would go to yoga today. I really wasn't going to. And what was odd is that she requested I wear a certain bracelet. It is my favorite one, a delicate art deco style platinum filigree with subtle sparkle from diamonds. Why would I wear that to yoga?? I also had to take my other jewelry off, too. She asked me to wear two other diamond pieces too.
Looking back, I have to laugh. I have on the diamond earrings that I bought when I graduated from medical school. The sales lady said, 'When you have a boyfriend he can upgrade them' I was like, 'WHAT?' Sure enough, the Christmas after I got engaged, Frank upgraded them to this size. My necklace is a lovely art deco platinum pendant with a center diamond and very subtle hearts of diamonds circling it. Frank had bought that for me to tell me he would never abandon me. You see, the emotional 'disconnect' had been troubling us, and he thought a diamond in a velvet box would 'fix' it. The bracelet is the one I had been wishing for all year and hoped to get the following Christmas. Instead, I got a Palm Pilot, matching Franks Christmas gift he bought for himself. I got upset. The Palm Pilot cost the same as the bracelet, and the electronic device to me only meant 'more work'. So in January after we did our taxes, Frank told me to look in the freezer. There was my bracelet. That was cold, cold, cold 'ice' now, wasn't it? A diamond bracelet as a weapon. I didn't care. I got my bracelet. (See how far I have grown Spiritually in ten years? It is like night and day! LOL)
Anyhow, at yoga, I was late because I was getting this jewelry. I also had my hair in a bun, with a sparkly clip above it. I was told to wear lots of black and dress like I would for ballet. I was like, 'okay, whatever Blessed Mother!'. Class was wonderful. I enjoy my new body that is smaller and healthier with the raw vegan food. I could even do plank!
Shivassina was even more wonderful. There was a beautiful quote read to us from Tantra about not being caught up in the Illusion and instead thinking about Love in the--oh I forget the word--the eternal? It was a very healing quote for me. Remember those 'Moments of Sheer Terror'? Well, luckily for me, yogi Bill was able to dig some of them out of the knots in my neck.
And when I opened my eyes, somewhat disappointed that the ting shaw rang and I had to 'come back', guess what? By some miracle, the room was filled with stars...little green ones...everywhere...on the walls, on the ceiling, on the floor.
I haven't had anyone do anything that wonderful since the bubble man's show five years ago. He said, close your eyes, and believe--then when I opened them WOW! Bubbles filled the room with laser show lights. I gave thanks to God today for that surprise at yoga.
Then I went on a date by myself.
I was so excited! It was a picnic in Heaven. I will explain. I bought a salad I made at a local natural foods store, and bought kombucha and I cheated on the RAW by getting three French macarons (lemon, chocolate, and raspberry). I drove nearby to where I used to work. I started there my first day of residency!
There is a beautiful garden in the back. It was made by an Italian who wanted the patients to have a chance to heal as they worked. This beautiful garden is made by drug addicts, alcoholics, and not-too-seriously mentally ill people. They learn responsibility by selling their produce and plants every Wednesday. Beauty is a medicine! And it works! The sunshine, the nature even healed ME--as an intern would go out there when it was slow and pick flowers with my trauma shears. The other residents used to make fun of me for always having a vase filled with cut flowers in the call room. I didn't care.
In this garden I know every tree. Just like I did in nannu's back yard. He trained in Italy to do the orchards. Just today I had nespoli. It is so much fun to pick it off the tree! (nespoli are 'loquats' in English). I saw baby peaches, figs, artichokes, oranges and lemons. The smell of citrus blossoms is a delight! And one very special tree, in July, has red fruit that is sweet and stains your hands something wicked when you eat it--it is the chezzu. Mom showed me how to eat it. As a surgeon I had to be careful to wash the fruit 'blood stains' carefully from my hands!
I sat under an arbor, and ate with the butterflies...and patients! Some of them were singing. I videotaped it. I won't share them but I will put a YouTube of the original at the bottom here. Think of Bill Withers with his gorgeous voice in a wheelchair with one leg missing, an almost homeless woman singing harmony off key, both in the sunshine, and another with a guitar in the gazebo singing too. How many people get to be serenaded live in such a gorgeous place while they picnic? It was really organic and nice to just 'BE' like that.
I also made friends with the master gardener on the weekends, Sheldon. Isn't it funny how both the Japanese (like Sheldon) and Italians (like Nannu) are terrific with gardens? I asked for permission to pick nespoli when my Vietnamese friends come. My friend's husband likes orchards. Sheldon said, 'Pick some now!' And I did. They were at the peak of the season, and better than the macarons.
Find your JOY. It will strengthen you for your 'lessons', whatever they might be. I had two great big ones after. I don't feel like blogging about them right now. Possibly later. But when you have the chance, be kind to yourself, and make yourself feel glad to just be YOU.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
BOOKOFLUV
Who wrote the Book of Love?
I don't think it is found in Nature.
Seriously.
Birds do it. Bees do it. However that song goes...
Recently a colleague of mine proposed to his girlfriend. Like me, he is divorced and has children. He is a really nice guy, and the one I chose to do anesthesia for me when I had my surgery.
I was happy for him and watched the YouTube video of his proposal. He and his girlfriend often take walks with the dog on the beach. He had arranged for an architect to build a gorgeous sand castle with a larger-than-life sand book with the words, 'Will you marry me?' on it. There is a time lapse photography, and you can see the sand masterpiece being built. Then you watch the proposal. You see the look of shock on her face as she reads the words and he bends down on one knee, and pulls a little box out of his pocket. You see her shaking, and hugging him and saying, 'Yes!'. Then she is surprised to see his parents not far by.
There it was--the planning, the surprise, the beautiful ring. It sounds like Happily Ever After, doesn't it?
Well...let me tell you something guys...with my intuition something here on a deeper level is not right.
I met her at the Christmas party, and felt sorry for her. She was 'biding her time' until he would 'commit'. It was very obvious as a woman. I thought, why doesn't he make an honest woman of her?
For some reason, for guys in general, and possibly for the ladies too, there is 'dating' and then 'commitment' and then 'marriage' where a whole lot of 'mental masturbation' is going on.
Mental masturbation is the term one of my Chairmen of Surgery used to use to describe Internists on rounds--instead of getting to the point they went deeper and deeper into the Differential Diagnosis, or 'What ELSE could possibly be going on?' These Internal Medicine teams ENJOYED IT--rounds that last FOREVER in a Surgeons eye. They lived in their head and could not make a decision to save someone's life in a timely manner. In surgery we just don't DO that. Patients would die.
So let us get inside the head of my colleague:
- The divorce had to be final and the custody set
- The kids had to like her
- He had to buy a house
- He had to get a steady job
- He had to plan the 'perfect engagement'.
This is a NICE guy. He is marriage-minded due to his faith and church. He is very family-oriented. But without his 'ducks in a row' that relationship was going nowhere. Fast.
Why do I have a problem with this? It is against Nature.
I look at the birds. It is Spring. Boy meets girl in the tree. They court. They do a mating 'dance' in this courtship. That's it. They mate for life (if you are a certain kind of bird). Or they just mate.
They build the nest together, as equals. They raise the chicks together, as equals. They fledge them out of the nest, together.
There is no waiting for a ring! There is no one selling it. No one making it. No one selling bridal dresses either. And no Wedding Planners.
If you ask me, having been to divorce court not once but twice, and having to pay for all the legal fees for both of them, birds are smarter than us!
Which brings us to another point--boy birds are not abusive to girl birds either. None of that goes on. No cheating, no getting drunk, no getting boring or 'drifting apart'. Birds are birds! They have a good thing.
I apologize for the tone of this post. It is just that the disparity of the relationship, with the girlfriend having to be 'one man down' in the power balance really seems 'not right' to me. Society is whack, in this regard. In a big way. We have a lot to learn from the birds when it comes to being a couple.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Go Vegan Message From Mice
I know it sounds ironic, but one of the biggest things that led me to healthier eating is interacting with the rats and mice that I raise when the snake is picky.
Most pet snakes, particularly the popular Ball Python, go for stretches of time where they won't eat. Months, even years in some cases. But you have to offer it once a week. Many times the pet shop is nice and will take mice back (but not reimburse the money). I kind of got tired of going so much to the pet shop.
I started giving table scraps to them. Mama Rat loved her greens. Papa Rat was into oranges. Everyone liked their pet mix from the store.
But I started an experiment. We live in a wooded area. Rats are pretty common in Southern California. I have had some and caught them in my garage. When I was cleaning up after their mess, from the wild rats, I noticed a pattern in my food storage--rats liked sweets. They destroyed my expensive Italian chocolates. One went after the cookie in my son's Cookie Monster costume for Halloween! It was FAKE chocolate chip and sewn to the hand!
I introduced several foods to the rats, and later, when we found out our snake exclusively eats mice, the mice.
Did you know there are some things rats and mice WON'T eat?
Everything that is really unhealthy, and a few I am just not sure why.
Right now I have some left-over pumpkin bread that is kind of like cinnamon bread in the cage.
They won't touch it.
Rats are smart. Anyone who has ever tried to catch one discovers this. They know what is good for them. And what's not.
Here is a list of things they won't eat:
- microwave popcorn
- anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup
- pasta (although the wild rats ate it dry in the garage)
- hard French Bread
- Toast with butter (my son didn't like the brand of bread I had bought)
- Pineapple (I wonder if they eat them in Hawaii?)
- Chocolate cake with frosting
- Meat (although I have heard they cannibalize if threatened)
- Cheese
- Jicama
- leftover burrito
Here is what they like:
- pet food mix with corn, oats, and seeds
- lettuce
- apples
- wasabi peanuts and stale breakfast cereal
- very plain animal cookies
- all nuts make them extremely happy--they will grab it and run!
The point is--any time I am faced with a food option that the rats won't eat and the mice ignore, I think twice. If it is not good for them, it might not be good for me too.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
'Moments of Sheer Terror'
Anesthesia is jokingly referred to by others in the O.R. as 'long stretches of boredom interrupted by moments of sheer terror'.
Would you like to know about some of those moments?
The Laryngeal Mask Airway, or LMA, is a mask that is inserted into the throat and sits on top of the glottis (opening in the windpipe where the vocal cords are). Created by Archie Brain--I kid you not--the shape of the device was made by studying the casts made of the glottis and hypopharynx (just above the glottis) on cadavers. It is a well-known fact that a very small percentage of the population is 'different' from the majority of the population when it comes to the fit of the mask.
I have used LMA's daily since 1998, and never a problem.
Until recently. I had a patient who was terribly frightened for surgery. 'I have never had anything wrong with me!' they said, with angst. 'This is the first time in a hospital!'
I smiled inwardly. I know these types. They think because they never go to the doctor they are healthy. Giving anesthesia to someone like this is like opening Pandora's box: there are lots of undiagnosed diseases that are untreated and waiting to show up under the anesthetic for me.
For example, the ones who had 'asthma as a kid' have had some of the most dramatic cases of bronchospasm on waking up. Untreated asthma for decades sometimes does that. Treated asthma, that is recognized in the medical history, allows me to give breathing treatment in advance in the holding unit to decrease the risk of problems with a general anesthetic.
Can you imagine what it is like when you insert an LMA, it goes in fine, and it doesn't work? Your patient is apneic--this means 'not breathing'--and all that tight mask on your face before falling asleep buys me time to work with the airway while you are apneic. It stretches it from thirty seconds to about five minutes time.
At first I look at the monitor for end-tidal carbon dioxide, or CO2. No wave form. Not good. I adjust the LMA and check for end-tidal and mist in the tube. Nothing. I remove and replace the LMA. Nothing. Oxygen saturation is starting to drop. I know it can fall steeply.
I pull the LMA, insert a big green oral airway, turn the flows of oxygen up, add some inhalational agent (the propofol only works for about five minutes and I want to keep the patient asleep), and ask the nurse to squeeze the bag while I hold on to the mask and open the airway. I also ask for the Glide Scope to be brought to the room.
The nurse, is afraid. I have to coach her and calm her until my anesthesia technician comes into the room. The nurse is shaking. I see end-tidal on the monitor, and even though the sats continue to drop (this is normal, it dips before it goes up), I reassure the nurse. See? We are back to 98%! Good Job!
She hands over the bag to the anesthesia technician the moment the technician arrives. I get the Glide Scope ready, and secure the airway in under thirty seconds, with no desaturation. I use an endotracheal tube. I tell the surgeon, who is making comments the whole time, ones I don't really appreciate while I am working hard to get oxygen into somebody, that the patient is okay and everything is fine!
This is my typical 'moment of sheer terror', desaturation upon induction of anesthesia for some reason. It was first time for LMA. The patient did fine and woke up with no problem. This is bread and butter anesthesia, folks. This type of thing doesn't happen every day, but when it does, my reflexes automatically get to work and I know what to do. I just do it.
A highly different kind of moment of sheer terror happened for the first time recently on a patient who one may call a 'train wreck': multiple organ systems diseased with serious ramifications. This one had the vibe, as I call it. Every cell of me experiences dread at the thought of having to work on their case.
The vibe is almost always caused by the presence of dark negative entities in the patient. I can feel it through the computer, and sense it in the nurse that is giving me report.
In this situation, I accept my assignment, and do the best I can. This time it was a direct admit from ICU into a new O.R. I hadn't set up yet. Scant time to evaluate the patient, even less to clean and set up for the case. I did have my new clean meds drawn up and labeled in their syringes, though. I had prepared ahead during the case before.
This patient had the ability to be violent towards caregivers. It was documented in the medical record. This patient was heavily sedated by the ICU nurse. You had to wake them up to get them to talk to you as you examined them.
Induction was surreal. The sedation was useless when the face mask was applied to the face for pre-oxygenation. The patient got agitated, and demanded nasal cannula. That is not enough for getting oxygen in before surgery. We compromised with the mask being 'right over the face'.
This is a technical problem that I have to deal with every day. Room air is twenty-one percent oxygen. Safe pre-oxygenation requires one hundred percent oxygen. That is why the mask is fit tight. In a patient who has obstructive sleep apnea, this is crucial, and non negotiable. That is, if they are not going to hit you. If they are agitated, you back off, and hope you can secure the airway quick.
Glide scope was in the room, and ready. I only use this equipment on people with sleep apnea or difficult airways.
But guess what? During the induction--that is where I give the big dose of Propofol and also paralyzing agent--while I am watching the pulse ox reading of oxygen saturation like a tiger stalking their prey, it stops! All of the other waveforms are fine. The patient is apneic, I have thirty seconds or less, and I can't see how my oxygen in the blood is?! Quickly I scan the lines to the monitor: the little sticky probe had fallen off the finger right at that instant! We got the finger clip on, adjusted it, and IT would not read, either!
I redid the connections checked the main connection to the monitor, and it got it to work. All of this was in twenty seconds. Sats were dropping but not rapidly yet.
In the next ten seconds I got in the tube. Just in time. There were no desaturations. I secured the tube, and coordinated turning the table with the head away from me as required for the case. There are a lot of lines and wires to watch, most importantly the connections to the ventilator and breathing tube. Sometimes even the O.R. table gets hung up on the cables on the floor. I had to ask the nurse to unlock the bed because she had locked it on top of my EKG cable. It's annoying, but do-able, having to turn the table. I have my system and it always works for me.
It was just after this rush, when the case was settling in, that I did Reiki.
Remember, there are dark negative entities in this patient. They were having fun with me on induction, trying to make me stress.
(Even before I learned Reiki, I had the reputation of being the most 'Zen' of all the anesthesiologists in residency. Cardiac anesthesiologists are calm in all situations. Even my fellowship program director hired me because of my ability to stay calm when he 'fired a few cannons at me' during the interview. This skill is needed when bad things are happening and the surgeon is yelling at you while you are trying to save the patient. In a word, it is FOCUS in the face of overwhelming risk to your patient.)
I got in to the aura, and chicken that I am, called for my guides, the Guides of Compassionate Healing, to help. I make the connection, and they or Archangel Michael if it's really scary, go in and clear out the dark entities for me.
Not this time.
Go in. You talk to THEM.
Are you sure? Is it safe?
Yes.
So I was like, 'Hello? Um...this is your chance to go to the Light! No questions asked! If you don't you might get taken to get vaporized in the Galactic Central Sun!' and trying to make my Spirit voice all cheery and positive. 'Times are changing, and it is okay to come out. Here, take my hand.'
I offered both of them, and was not sure what these Dark Entities were going to do with me.
They seemed tired, defeated, and given up the fight. They made poor eye contact and came forward. They each took a hand. The entire GCH team was behind me. I walked with the two a few steps, and gently handed them over to the team that was waiting for them. I felt great Love in my Heart, for these brave souls who stepped 'out', and came toward the Light. I felt surprise that they listened and everything went okay. I felt gratitude for the team putting me up to it in the first place. I understood that the Dark entities were gone, but the remaining Negative entity removals were to be coordinated by the team over the next few weeks.
And I felt a golden, sweet honey energy from the patient, as if it was the end of a play, and the actor who played the villain comes out for the curtain call; you can tell they are nice and just played the part to make the play more fun. I was amazed at what a powerful soul was hiding underneath all that Train Wreck. The green chakra was very big and bright, possibly the brightest I have ever seen.
All of this took thirty seconds. Spirit work is like managing the airway. When you do it long enough, you gain skills, and speed is one of them. I was watching the surgery, the patient, the monitors, and the anesthesia machine the whole time I was doing Reiki--well, a form of it : ). I also gave morphine in the middle of the thirty seconds because I noted that the blood pressure had gone up (readings were every three minutes). I just put the Reiki on pause like you would something on your digital recorder at home.
So there you have it: moments of sheer terror, two on the airway, and one with Spirit/Reiki/Light.
How was the wake up in the last patient? Did I get hit? No. The morphine did the trick.
But the foley broke apart in a way I have never seen it happen when we wheeled the patient out of the door from the O.R. The nurse had to get gloves to fix it...
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Would you like to know about some of those moments?
The Laryngeal Mask Airway, or LMA, is a mask that is inserted into the throat and sits on top of the glottis (opening in the windpipe where the vocal cords are). Created by Archie Brain--I kid you not--the shape of the device was made by studying the casts made of the glottis and hypopharynx (just above the glottis) on cadavers. It is a well-known fact that a very small percentage of the population is 'different' from the majority of the population when it comes to the fit of the mask.
I have used LMA's daily since 1998, and never a problem.
Until recently. I had a patient who was terribly frightened for surgery. 'I have never had anything wrong with me!' they said, with angst. 'This is the first time in a hospital!'
I smiled inwardly. I know these types. They think because they never go to the doctor they are healthy. Giving anesthesia to someone like this is like opening Pandora's box: there are lots of undiagnosed diseases that are untreated and waiting to show up under the anesthetic for me.
For example, the ones who had 'asthma as a kid' have had some of the most dramatic cases of bronchospasm on waking up. Untreated asthma for decades sometimes does that. Treated asthma, that is recognized in the medical history, allows me to give breathing treatment in advance in the holding unit to decrease the risk of problems with a general anesthetic.
Can you imagine what it is like when you insert an LMA, it goes in fine, and it doesn't work? Your patient is apneic--this means 'not breathing'--and all that tight mask on your face before falling asleep buys me time to work with the airway while you are apneic. It stretches it from thirty seconds to about five minutes time.
At first I look at the monitor for end-tidal carbon dioxide, or CO2. No wave form. Not good. I adjust the LMA and check for end-tidal and mist in the tube. Nothing. I remove and replace the LMA. Nothing. Oxygen saturation is starting to drop. I know it can fall steeply.
I pull the LMA, insert a big green oral airway, turn the flows of oxygen up, add some inhalational agent (the propofol only works for about five minutes and I want to keep the patient asleep), and ask the nurse to squeeze the bag while I hold on to the mask and open the airway. I also ask for the Glide Scope to be brought to the room.
The nurse, is afraid. I have to coach her and calm her until my anesthesia technician comes into the room. The nurse is shaking. I see end-tidal on the monitor, and even though the sats continue to drop (this is normal, it dips before it goes up), I reassure the nurse. See? We are back to 98%! Good Job!
She hands over the bag to the anesthesia technician the moment the technician arrives. I get the Glide Scope ready, and secure the airway in under thirty seconds, with no desaturation. I use an endotracheal tube. I tell the surgeon, who is making comments the whole time, ones I don't really appreciate while I am working hard to get oxygen into somebody, that the patient is okay and everything is fine!
This is my typical 'moment of sheer terror', desaturation upon induction of anesthesia for some reason. It was first time for LMA. The patient did fine and woke up with no problem. This is bread and butter anesthesia, folks. This type of thing doesn't happen every day, but when it does, my reflexes automatically get to work and I know what to do. I just do it.
A highly different kind of moment of sheer terror happened for the first time recently on a patient who one may call a 'train wreck': multiple organ systems diseased with serious ramifications. This one had the vibe, as I call it. Every cell of me experiences dread at the thought of having to work on their case.
The vibe is almost always caused by the presence of dark negative entities in the patient. I can feel it through the computer, and sense it in the nurse that is giving me report.
In this situation, I accept my assignment, and do the best I can. This time it was a direct admit from ICU into a new O.R. I hadn't set up yet. Scant time to evaluate the patient, even less to clean and set up for the case. I did have my new clean meds drawn up and labeled in their syringes, though. I had prepared ahead during the case before.
This patient had the ability to be violent towards caregivers. It was documented in the medical record. This patient was heavily sedated by the ICU nurse. You had to wake them up to get them to talk to you as you examined them.
Induction was surreal. The sedation was useless when the face mask was applied to the face for pre-oxygenation. The patient got agitated, and demanded nasal cannula. That is not enough for getting oxygen in before surgery. We compromised with the mask being 'right over the face'.
This is a technical problem that I have to deal with every day. Room air is twenty-one percent oxygen. Safe pre-oxygenation requires one hundred percent oxygen. That is why the mask is fit tight. In a patient who has obstructive sleep apnea, this is crucial, and non negotiable. That is, if they are not going to hit you. If they are agitated, you back off, and hope you can secure the airway quick.
Glide scope was in the room, and ready. I only use this equipment on people with sleep apnea or difficult airways.
But guess what? During the induction--that is where I give the big dose of Propofol and also paralyzing agent--while I am watching the pulse ox reading of oxygen saturation like a tiger stalking their prey, it stops! All of the other waveforms are fine. The patient is apneic, I have thirty seconds or less, and I can't see how my oxygen in the blood is?! Quickly I scan the lines to the monitor: the little sticky probe had fallen off the finger right at that instant! We got the finger clip on, adjusted it, and IT would not read, either!
I redid the connections checked the main connection to the monitor, and it got it to work. All of this was in twenty seconds. Sats were dropping but not rapidly yet.
In the next ten seconds I got in the tube. Just in time. There were no desaturations. I secured the tube, and coordinated turning the table with the head away from me as required for the case. There are a lot of lines and wires to watch, most importantly the connections to the ventilator and breathing tube. Sometimes even the O.R. table gets hung up on the cables on the floor. I had to ask the nurse to unlock the bed because she had locked it on top of my EKG cable. It's annoying, but do-able, having to turn the table. I have my system and it always works for me.
It was just after this rush, when the case was settling in, that I did Reiki.
Remember, there are dark negative entities in this patient. They were having fun with me on induction, trying to make me stress.
(Even before I learned Reiki, I had the reputation of being the most 'Zen' of all the anesthesiologists in residency. Cardiac anesthesiologists are calm in all situations. Even my fellowship program director hired me because of my ability to stay calm when he 'fired a few cannons at me' during the interview. This skill is needed when bad things are happening and the surgeon is yelling at you while you are trying to save the patient. In a word, it is FOCUS in the face of overwhelming risk to your patient.)
I got in to the aura, and chicken that I am, called for my guides, the Guides of Compassionate Healing, to help. I make the connection, and they or Archangel Michael if it's really scary, go in and clear out the dark entities for me.
Not this time.
Go in. You talk to THEM.
Are you sure? Is it safe?
Yes.
So I was like, 'Hello? Um...this is your chance to go to the Light! No questions asked! If you don't you might get taken to get vaporized in the Galactic Central Sun!' and trying to make my Spirit voice all cheery and positive. 'Times are changing, and it is okay to come out. Here, take my hand.'
I offered both of them, and was not sure what these Dark Entities were going to do with me.
They seemed tired, defeated, and given up the fight. They made poor eye contact and came forward. They each took a hand. The entire GCH team was behind me. I walked with the two a few steps, and gently handed them over to the team that was waiting for them. I felt great Love in my Heart, for these brave souls who stepped 'out', and came toward the Light. I felt surprise that they listened and everything went okay. I felt gratitude for the team putting me up to it in the first place. I understood that the Dark entities were gone, but the remaining Negative entity removals were to be coordinated by the team over the next few weeks.
And I felt a golden, sweet honey energy from the patient, as if it was the end of a play, and the actor who played the villain comes out for the curtain call; you can tell they are nice and just played the part to make the play more fun. I was amazed at what a powerful soul was hiding underneath all that Train Wreck. The green chakra was very big and bright, possibly the brightest I have ever seen.
All of this took thirty seconds. Spirit work is like managing the airway. When you do it long enough, you gain skills, and speed is one of them. I was watching the surgery, the patient, the monitors, and the anesthesia machine the whole time I was doing Reiki--well, a form of it : ). I also gave morphine in the middle of the thirty seconds because I noted that the blood pressure had gone up (readings were every three minutes). I just put the Reiki on pause like you would something on your digital recorder at home.
So there you have it: moments of sheer terror, two on the airway, and one with Spirit/Reiki/Light.
How was the wake up in the last patient? Did I get hit? No. The morphine did the trick.
But the foley broke apart in a way I have never seen it happen when we wheeled the patient out of the door from the O.R. The nurse had to get gloves to fix it...
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Friday, April 26, 2013
At The Brink
Twin Flames are telepathic. The souls can 'connect' and 'communicate' anywhere on the face of the earth.
Mine has popped in and out of my awareness, often making me laugh and making me smile. Mine gives me recipes in the kitchen when I make food. Once was a salad dressing. Tonight was raw spaghetti and a nut-based dessert. It was comforting to have this guidance, from whatever source, be it my guide, my guardian angel, or my Twin Flame's higher self.
Not long ago, I was in the OB call room. The labor deck was busy for a Sunday, but I had a chance to lie down.
The frustration over the 3D-Higher Dimension differences in our Twin Flame 'non-reunion' had really gotten me down. Spirit had said, 'let him go' earlier and I did. But I was worn out. (I first 'met' the Seraphim in this same call room, too).
I felt my Twin Flame's presence. I was despondent. And the strangest thing began to happen! I felt the Higher Realms. I began to float up, and I really, really liked it. The only thing that was keeping me back was his spirit hand holding mine.
Puzzled at the connection, I wanted with all my heart for him to let go. I LIKE it here...I am....HAPPY...I...feel good...I don't want to go back (to that stinky place with lots of pain).
I pulled harder. I want to be free! I want Peace! LET ME GO!
And he got smart. There is a small bottle, blue, not quite an inch long, not quite a half inch wide that he makes. It smells wonderful and has a vibration I like. He held it up like a carrot, right before my eyes, and wiggled it.
I 'came back' in an instant. I wanted it!
But then I thought, no, I REALLY want to GO! And I floated UP, again, holding just to his hand. I was just done with everything. I didn't care about my 'attachments' or my 'work' or even my 'assignment'. I just wanted out.
There was a back and forth tug of war with my Consciousness--the sparkly honey feeling energy of the Higher Realms, and the little bottle that had a catnip-like attraction to me. I was like, I want to GO! and then, ooooh! Pretty!, then, what is the use in staying here?, then, I WANT it!
Somehow on the last wide-eyed pull to the little bottle waving in front of me, I felt a jolt.
I was Here now. And I wasn't going to that Place. I was back. And on some level, I was glad.
Today, on the way home from the beach, he apologized. 'I took you to the brink'.
I brushed it off...there are lessons...I know you didn't mean it...it is okay...
And he said, 'No. I make a statement with my life to be gentle to all creatures. Allow me to make it up to you.'
And I understood--even if I forgave him, he would judge himself, and have even more karma to pay in his next lifetime. He wanted the chance to make things right between us now. I said, 'okay'.
He gave me a beautiful heart-shaped Merkaba. It was really cool--a spirit one, with special messages across many lifetimes built inside. It sparkled with the Light of Source.
Tonight, Spirit asked me to lie down after preparing dinner. I did. There were angels on Spirit side to tend to my wounds. My soul had a lot of them. I could see. They wanted me to lie quiet, not thinking, not even listening, as they worked. After some time, Twin Flame came to me, and held me.
I passed the lesson on Loss. Meeting you and having you not know me was Extra Credit. I did it. I whispered, weakly, with very low life force. I hated it the whole time but I did it. Please never make me do anything like this again...
It felt like olive oil being put on me when he promised, I can't explain it, but the energy felt like that from the shoulders down, mostly on the legs. He said he was very proud of me, and I would never have to do any lessons like that again.
Don't say 'never', I said, it's a jinx. Say 'not again'.
He did.
Then a team of healers in Spirit came, and did something that was like a pulling sensation with strings being tugged up and out of my crown chakra. After that I discovered I can't remember the pain. Not of anything between us. Nothing bad in my past, either. Across all of my lifetimes. It's just--blank. Lessons gained are framed in a positive way, and I can access it. But not the sorrow, frustration, or feeling isolated and cut off from Source.
And I forgot all about it after it happened. Until when I was washing my face. Spirit said to write this down. Otherwise I would not remember it again.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc
Mine has popped in and out of my awareness, often making me laugh and making me smile. Mine gives me recipes in the kitchen when I make food. Once was a salad dressing. Tonight was raw spaghetti and a nut-based dessert. It was comforting to have this guidance, from whatever source, be it my guide, my guardian angel, or my Twin Flame's higher self.
Not long ago, I was in the OB call room. The labor deck was busy for a Sunday, but I had a chance to lie down.
The frustration over the 3D-Higher Dimension differences in our Twin Flame 'non-reunion' had really gotten me down. Spirit had said, 'let him go' earlier and I did. But I was worn out. (I first 'met' the Seraphim in this same call room, too).
I felt my Twin Flame's presence. I was despondent. And the strangest thing began to happen! I felt the Higher Realms. I began to float up, and I really, really liked it. The only thing that was keeping me back was his spirit hand holding mine.
Puzzled at the connection, I wanted with all my heart for him to let go. I LIKE it here...I am....HAPPY...I...feel good...I don't want to go back (to that stinky place with lots of pain).
I pulled harder. I want to be free! I want Peace! LET ME GO!
And he got smart. There is a small bottle, blue, not quite an inch long, not quite a half inch wide that he makes. It smells wonderful and has a vibration I like. He held it up like a carrot, right before my eyes, and wiggled it.
I 'came back' in an instant. I wanted it!
But then I thought, no, I REALLY want to GO! And I floated UP, again, holding just to his hand. I was just done with everything. I didn't care about my 'attachments' or my 'work' or even my 'assignment'. I just wanted out.
There was a back and forth tug of war with my Consciousness--the sparkly honey feeling energy of the Higher Realms, and the little bottle that had a catnip-like attraction to me. I was like, I want to GO! and then, ooooh! Pretty!, then, what is the use in staying here?, then, I WANT it!
Somehow on the last wide-eyed pull to the little bottle waving in front of me, I felt a jolt.
I was Here now. And I wasn't going to that Place. I was back. And on some level, I was glad.
Today, on the way home from the beach, he apologized. 'I took you to the brink'.
I brushed it off...there are lessons...I know you didn't mean it...it is okay...
And he said, 'No. I make a statement with my life to be gentle to all creatures. Allow me to make it up to you.'
And I understood--even if I forgave him, he would judge himself, and have even more karma to pay in his next lifetime. He wanted the chance to make things right between us now. I said, 'okay'.
He gave me a beautiful heart-shaped Merkaba. It was really cool--a spirit one, with special messages across many lifetimes built inside. It sparkled with the Light of Source.
Tonight, Spirit asked me to lie down after preparing dinner. I did. There were angels on Spirit side to tend to my wounds. My soul had a lot of them. I could see. They wanted me to lie quiet, not thinking, not even listening, as they worked. After some time, Twin Flame came to me, and held me.
I passed the lesson on Loss. Meeting you and having you not know me was Extra Credit. I did it. I whispered, weakly, with very low life force. I hated it the whole time but I did it. Please never make me do anything like this again...
It felt like olive oil being put on me when he promised, I can't explain it, but the energy felt like that from the shoulders down, mostly on the legs. He said he was very proud of me, and I would never have to do any lessons like that again.
Don't say 'never', I said, it's a jinx. Say 'not again'.
He did.
Then a team of healers in Spirit came, and did something that was like a pulling sensation with strings being tugged up and out of my crown chakra. After that I discovered I can't remember the pain. Not of anything between us. Nothing bad in my past, either. Across all of my lifetimes. It's just--blank. Lessons gained are framed in a positive way, and I can access it. But not the sorrow, frustration, or feeling isolated and cut off from Source.
And I forgot all about it after it happened. Until when I was washing my face. Spirit said to write this down. Otherwise I would not remember it again.
Namaste,
Reiki Doc